back to article LHC starts beaming Saturday: Collisions Dec 3

As all the world knows, the Large Hadron Collider - the mightiest particle-punisher in the world and possible portal to other dimensions - is shortly to fire up again, following last year's catastrophic liquid helium superfluid explosion. You can learn that much by following other media outlets like any ignorant drone. But you …

COMMENTS

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  1. Hermes Conran
    Alert

    Cool!

    Front row seats to the end of the world!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Better direct link to webcams

    http://www.cyriak.co.uk/lhc/lhc-webcams.html

  3. Ian Ferguson
    Thumb Up

    Excellent

    I think they should wait until 2012 to fire the beams together, and then get Obama there to push the button, along with contingencies from the WHO and UN.

    Purely to watch the borderline-schizophrenic tinfoil hat brigade go nuts with their conspiracy theories :D

  4. SeanM

    CERN’s site is disappointing

    It’s disappointing that most of CERN’s site isn’t accessible to the blind using a screen reader. Not even the temperatures.

    Still, the portal is a great (and accessible!) resource.

  5. Stoneshop Silver badge

    Omission

    "Chris is the man to go to for all the latest supercold superpowered superconductor supercollider news"

    It appears you left out at least one "super" there.

  6. eJ2095

    Lol

    Me thinking Halflife here

  7. Scott 19
    Pint

    Beer

    Buy that man a beer.

    And its not the end of the world don't you know thats 2012, when they posssible finally get the thing to full power?

  8. ReadyPeople

    They have already run it at full power...

    ...It was on April 29th, 2010

  9. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    This phrase needs completion...

    I think they should wait until 2012 to fire the beams together, and then get Obama there to push the button, along with contingencies from the WHO and UN while people are queuing up to get vaccinated against avian flu.

  10. Shaun Roe
    Thumb Up

    @Beer, and @SeanM

    Buy him a beer? We should give him a job!

    SeanM: I'd be interested to know what the requirements are for this...I feel a google coming on..

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    nice one chris.

    Its obvious that whoever blocked the cams is the sites designer.

  12. SeanM

    re: @Beer, and @SeanM

    I’m not sure what they’re doing, but my screen reader won’t read much… It gives some text, for example on the temperature page, it reads the sections (section 1-2), but that’s about it. I wouldn’t expect something like the "Cryo status" page to work that well (from what I’ve read, its graphic based), but I still would like to see some information.

  13. J 3
    Thumb Up

    Nice

    Great work. Now CERN should pay him to organize their website, maybe?

  14. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    Alert

    I thought

    the borderline-schizophrenic tinfoil hat conspiracy brigade rather neatly described 50% of the reg's readership

    The 50% are,of course, just plain nuts

    <<scuttling for cover before we're all smooched into a black hole created 4.42 am Sept. 12th 2011

  15. Charles Calthrop
    Unhappy

    Playmobile?

    I thought this was going to be a Reg reconstruction. :-(

    BTW someone should tell Cern (home of the web ad-fucking nausea) that their webpages are busted

    http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=http%3A%2F%2Flhc-commissioning.web.cern.ch%2Flhc-commissioning%2F&charset=%28detect+automatically%29&doctype=Inline&group=0&user-agent=W3C_Validator%2F1.654

  16. asdf Silver badge
    FAIL

    CERN fail

    Yes CERN invented the web but alas its obvious they never really moved past 1994 web site design wise. Says a lot about the quality of their web design team that they need an outside site to navigate their own site. Stupid scientists think they can do everything including coding and graphic design. I love how scientists learn a little bit of code and then go on to write the most unscalable horrid unmaintable bubble gum chickenwire app you would ever imagine and consider themselves a software expert. Hopefully they do their science at a much higher quality and actually get the darn thing to work this time.

  17. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Happy

    Whatever you do...

    don't cross the beams

  18. frank ly Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    This is all wonderful !

    Big thumbs up to Chris Stephens.

  19. LaeMi Qian Silver badge
    Joke

    The world won't end in 2012

    because the LHC will get in first.

  20. TJ 3
    Go

    Way to go guys

    Its nice to see that all the commenter's are working hard to make Chris's dreams of people decrying the end of the world come true. So touching.

  21. Rattus Rattus
    Coat

    "This was a triumph"

    "enthusiastic LHC-watcher Chris is the man to go to for all the latest supercold superpowered superconductor supercollider news."

    Yep - right on the superbutton.

  22. kneedragon

    Ghostbuster

    "don't cross the beams"

    Why not, Will? You're not carrying this accellerator in a backpack.

    It's true. This man has no d1ck.

  23. Chris Leeson

    @asdf

    "Yes CERN invented the web but alas its obvious they never really moved past 1994 web site design wise. Says a lot about the quality of their web design team that they need an outside site to navigate their own site. Stupid scientists think they can do everything including coding and graphic design. I love how scientists learn a little bit of code and then go on to write the most unscalable horrid unmaintable bubble gum chickenwire app you would ever imagine and consider themselves a software expert. Hopefully they do their science at a much higher quality and actually get the darn thing to work this time."

    Or, perhaps, those web pages are for their conveninece, not yours. Says a lot about scientists that they will go for functional rather than fluffy. Oh, and that's *their* requirements for "functional", not yours.

  24. Bo Pedersen
    Thumb Up

    I am not worried

    all I need is a crowbar and a pal named Barney

  25. This post has been deleted by its author

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    @Ian F

    2012...you forgot that the magnetic poles are predicited to flip in 2012.

    Don't belive me?

    Google "magnetic pole reversal".

    Now that will REALLY F**K us up.....

  27. HFoster

    @2012 references

    What a load of old SHIT!

  28. Rob
    Thumb Up

    Nostalgia

    Still can't read anything about the LHC without reminiscing about playing 'Another World' when I was younger.

    If any scientists have an ounce of common sense they won't fire it up if there is an electrical storm outside :)

  29. Coltek

    Nurse! Nurse!

    They are out of bed again!!

  30. NukEvil
    Paris Hilton

    LHC Photo

    Am I the only one who thought at first that the pic of the inside of the LHC on this article looked a lot like the mouth of the kraken in Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Man's Chest?

    Paris, because I'm sure a certain body part of hers looks the same way...

  31. jonmonkeys
    Unhappy

    Saddening reminder

    We can fire and collide particles at near lightspeed, and yet, we can still only deliver milk at a pathetic 10mph.

  32. peyton?
    Dead Vulture

    @LHC Photo

    If that image association bothers you, try thinking "goatse" next time you look at it. :X

  33. Kevin Reader
    Coat

    Image reminded me of Time Tunnel

    I'm sure many of my fellow commentards will recall Time Tunnel (1966) although I think we got it a bit later in the UK... I just realised that's what the LHC image reminds me of.... Evidence: http://thetimetunnel.com/ttcb.jpg It certainly makes you realise the subliminal influences on the scientists designing the LHC. Google about and there are even similarities in the control rooms: http://www.unmuseum.org/notescurator/timetunnel4th.htm

    Enjoy it while we wait...... for something unexpected.

    To quote imdb this all sounds eerily similar:

    "Scientists Tony Newman and Doug Phillips are the young heads of Project Tic-Toc, a multi-billion dollar government installation buried beneath the desert. They have invented a Time Tunnel, which will allow people to visit anywhere in time and space. While testing the tunnel for an impatient senator, Newman and Phillips became trapped in time, and each week coincidentally found themselves at the site of an important historical event, be it the Siege of Troy, the sinking of the Titanic or an assassination attempt on President Lincoln. Sometimes they traveled into the future, and battled alien invaders. Ann MacGregor, Gen. Kirk and Dr. Swain are the scientists trying to fix the malfunctioning Time Tunnel and bring Doug and Tony back to the present (1968). Written by Marty McKee {mmckee@wkio.com} "

    (Coat - Lab Coat of course).

  34. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Re: CERN fail

    "Stupid scientists think they can do everything including coding and graphic design."

    Stupid commentards think they know how CERN's IT stuff is organised. Do you really think there's a physics PhD tapping away at their keyboard and uploading pages to CERN's Web site, thus masterminding CERN's entire Web presence? In fact, there's a bunch of non-scientists doing a bunch of that stuff, including a bunch of people imposing bizarre and perverse constraints on anyone at CERN with their own site. Ever wonder why CERN addresses look like "http://xxx.web.cern.ch/xxx/"? So does everyone working there.

    You can criticise the infrastructure people all you like - they were never really very popular - but it has nothing to do with your "stupid scientists" wild goose chase.

  35. James Hughes 1

    @asdf

    Well, perhaps they thought spending the money on making the thing work, rather than on a bunch of pretty graphics that make NO DIFFERENCE TO THE RESULT was a better idea?

    Yey! to the scientists for saving us money!

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