back to article Docs press for probe into 'designer vaginas'

Doctors have warned that nip-and-tuck labiaplasty operations aimed at creating "designer vaginas" could have adverse affects on long-term sexual function. Demand for such labia-reduction procedures is apparently rising among those with no reason to go under the knife other than to achieve a more aesthetically-pleasing gential …


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  1. Daniel Wilkie


    - "Healthy messaging about the normal variation in female genitalia, as well as body shape and size more generally, is needed and important.”

    So the home made videos instead of the studio ones should be shown more right?

  2. Hermes Conran

    Our Society,

    officaly has too much time and money on it's hands!

    (Badgers because there's no beaver sign)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    So what's the medical term for hug a hoodie?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Insecure people and satisfaction ratings...

    Insecure people who're told something is good by someone in a white coat will generally say it was a good thing.

  5. The Original Ash


    Anyone insecure enough to opt for cosmetic surgery should look at the ugliness inside them first. It's the only point I agree on with the John Doe character from Seven.

  6. Anonymous Coward


    I for one welcome a beautiful lookin' pussy cat.

  7. Anonymous Coward

    The Mash has already commented,-say-men-200911112217/

    Nuff said, my coat, with the product catalogue in it...

  8. Thomas 18
    Paris Hilton

    Just turn the light off

    Its not supposed to be pretty!

    But to be honest the people doing this are the same people that inject collagen into their lips and neuro-toxins into their muscles to help them relax (botox). If its legal to do what they did to Jako then they should be allowed to do whatever chop action they fancy downstairs.

    Paris, because she was in the Genetic Opera

  9. Anonymous Coward


    Some things really should just be left as-is.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Lester -

    Please let me be the first to say that WE NEED PICTURES for this type of article, it is impossible for us IT types to properly imagine a body part that we almost never see, and if we do it is in the dark and the atmosphere tends to be somewhat frantic and often a little nervous and perhaps even a little surreal. To be frank, the mood just isn't right for a proper thorough exam of the thing. So pictures, which we can peruse at leisure and repeatedly, are really needed for a deeper understanding of this.

    The doctors from the article even agree - 'Healthy messaging about the normal variation in female genitalia, as well as body shape and size more generally, is needed and important'. Lots and lots of pics...

    Also, I think we need a pictures icon...

  11. Geoff Campbell
    Paris Hilton

    The ultimate expression of form over function?

    I suppose a Playmobil reconstruction is out of the question?

  12. adnim Silver badge

    The human tongue

    is perfectly capable of unhooding a clitoris. Ladies:If your partner cannot find your clitoris, educate them instead and donate that obviously excess wealth to a charity that supports victims of failed female circumcision procedures.

    @Hermes Conran: Too right!

  13. Paul_Murphy
    Paris Hilton

    Well that's this afternoons activity sorted out.

    I'm off to increase my understanding and awareness of said items, I knew if I hung around long enough a justifcation for this would appear - thanks.

    PH cos there's the question of whether hers is her own or not.

  14. Disco-Legend-Zeke

    I have always been pretty happy...

    with the existing design.

  15. Dom S

    The Media and Celebrities

    are to blame for polluting the minds of the masses with untrue images of what THEY deem to be the "perfect" person.

    no-one is perfect, we all have imperfections somewhere whether they be internal or external. vanity is a mind-set imposed on the weak-minded and insecure people of the world to sell "health" & "beauty" products and make the rich richer.

    we should all just be happy with who we are and how we and everyone else looks. if you dont like someone elses appearances, theres a high chance they dont like yours either.

    consider this next time you're walking down the street or next time you think of buying that "new improved magic-based lotion that can make you look 10years younger".

  16. Petey

    Come on El Reg, where's the IT angle?

    Given that this has none at all, I refuse to pay lip-service to you for publishing this

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    I have to say that...

    ...personally I'm far more interested in what goes on inside her head than I am in examining labia in minute detail.

    Let's face it (geddit?!!) most of the activities involving a vulva are not viewed at close range with one exception, and I don't know about anyone else but I can't swivel my eyes down to see what my lips and tongue are doing.

    Just leave things alone ladies, it's actually the variety that spices up one's life (well, it was before I had the ball and chain fitment appointment).

    Now, please let me concentrate on when to duck, I fear the arrival of the moderatrix...

    Thumb up because....well, you all know anyway :)

  18. kissingthecarpet

    Healthy Massaging

    That's what I thought it said at first.

    Anyway, I like a mature-looking labia. Blokes who like women to be hairless AND all tucked away & tidy sound a bit suspect to me - a bit "get there before the hair".....

  19. James 85

    Anyone Fancy Registering ...



  20. Anonymous Coward

    Big oil, big pharma and now... big muff

    Experts have revealed that there are great opportunities to be had, and say it should be possible for even greater penetration in this new market opening.

    Competitors are now scrambling to be one cut above the rest.

  21. scottboy

    Launching a probe into designer vaginas

    And I thought the Colorado marijuana reviewer sounded like a dream job.

  22. Rodrigo Rollan

    Send 'em our way

    Dear Surgeons, please send all solicitors our way. We´ll be glad to provide proper testing and certification.

  23. Anonymous Coward

    A new industry is born.

    I'm off to register*, aimed at kick starting a new service industry, providing advice and guidance to those females who have been persuaded that they are possessed of shower curtain proportions.

    After our initial visits we will provide a map/diagram (dependant upon size of investigated area) so our customer's partner of choice need never get lost again.

    *Local franchises may be available

  24. Anonymous Coward

    title = no title

    thrruffering thrroketash!

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Serious hat on

    There is quite a lot of money involved in pushing the image of the perfect figure whether it be in the fashion world to sell ridiculously over priced clothes and accessories or magic diet pills for those that can't quite fit into those clothes. This image is an external one far all to see and to some extent, whether you agree with this or not, to be judged. However, your common old garden everyday female genitalia is usually well and truly hidden away so WTF does it matter what it looks like to the world and his dog?

    Who has decided what women should aspire to when aiming to have the perfect vagina and what's in it for them? Is there some designer in a backroom that has come up with the idea of perspex pants and has realised that unless he can pretty things up down below they aren't going to sell. The mind boggles as to what he has thought up to accessorize these designer vaginas.

    Will woman start asking their husbands and boyfriends, "Does my fanny look loose in this?" only to be answered with, "You can't make a silk purse out of a pigs ear."

    However, having rambled on, the bit belongs to a woman and if she chooses to undergo such surgery then it's her choice. After all I don't see any difference between this and men choosing to be circumcised for a purely cosmetic reason. If you think a woman who has surgery to improve her self image is shallow then maybe that's the case but the point is, and this is important, she's doing it for herself, not you.

  26. Mr Brush

    Title goes here

    @kissingthe carpet

    I've always preferred the 'Burger Bun' to the 'Bacon Sandwich'.

  27. Anonymous Hero
    Paris Hilton

    Why are women mutilating themselves like this?

    Christ on a bike, this is almost as bad as the unsavoury practice of female circumcision but they're paying for it! I have nothing against a tasteful boob job provided I'm not confronted with what looks like a pair overinflated haggises, but this is appalling. Ladies, leave your bits alone.

    Anyway, I'm off to try and finish off that badly packed kebab I bought for lunch.

    Paris, because I'm sure she's enjoying her vertical bacon sandwich.

  28. Anonymous Coward

    Of course, many's the time that I have rejected a potential paramour

    on account of failings in the beef curtain aesthetics department

  29. Anonymous Coward

    Personal choice

    I would like the standard rule (for this and many other things) to be 'if it doesn't hurt anyone else and you're properly informed, why shouldn't you?' It sounds like the research saying it's safe is dubious so that should be improved but ultimately, it's your body, do what you want with it.

  30. Ken 16 Silver badge

    what makes them designer?

    as opposed to just bespoke? Are there logos?

  31. Anonymous Coward

    “invasive and irrevocable surgery”

    I'm just a poor Yank whose not fully up to Queen's English speed but, in this context, should not the word "irreversible" been used rather than "irrevocable?"

    Oh, and ditto all the "this is stupid, leave it alone" comments.

  32. Andus McCoatover

    The obvious corollary... men getting their penises surgically shortened.

    Well, why not? It'd "shaft" the spam industry. Could call it "Bobbiting", or "Strapadichtomy".

    Beer icon, 'cos after surgery I might _just_ be able to squeeze my Old Fellah into a well-lubricated pint pot. (Yeah, OK....)

  33. Pete 8

    Zango Gash for Cash!




    Mines the one with the govt brochure in the pocket.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    And there's still people out there who prefer them, shall we say, au naturel. I refer you to a one time NZ punk band The Spelling Mistakes, whose song The Ballad Of Reena's Piss Flaps was guaranteed to liven up the evening...

    I can't find too much of the lyrics online, but I remember:

    Oh, Reena's piss flaps, were the biggest in the land

    Reena's piss flaps, they're really rather grand.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    I think I'll watch 'The Alien' tonight, know what I mean?

  36. sath

    Docs press for probe into 'designer vaginas'

    invasive labiaplasty?

    The innuendo is strong with this one

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