back to article Aspiring model pleasures Taoist master

A Hong Kong model, whose career was evidently not going too well, was told by her agent that he happened to know a Taoist Mao Shan master with the power to grant her success - providing she had ritual sex with him. Unfortunately, the guru in question was actually 55-year-old truck driver Au Yeung Kwok-fu, and the unnamed 19- …

COMMENTS

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  1. Marvin the Martian
    Thumb Up

    So it worked?

    Well, at least she's famous now.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Mr Au Yeung Kwok-fu,

    I salute you Sir!

    Now, I wonder how much my local Rag charges for a small add...

  3. Andus McCoatover
    Joke

    Shouldn't the last line be...

    ..."Change the fuck in my caleel"?

    Carradine would've been a better bet, tartlet.

  4. MnM
    IT Angle

    I'm gonna make you a star

    Isn't that how Harriet Harman got her job?

  5. Hermes Conran
    Paris Hilton

    I don't think..

    ...bad luck was the problem, fruitbat!

    Paris cuz even she's too smart to fall for that old trick!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    There's no such thing as bad publicity

    The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about.

    Paris - since they are both as dirrrty.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Crikey

    "procuring unlawful sexual acts by false pretences".

    Ooh eck, that's not against the law in this country is it?

    Posting anonymously in case my better half realises that the promise to finish the bathroom was just a ruse...

  8. Paul_Murphy

    Umm speechless

    Good thing I can type then I guess.

    Does this count as an evolutionary advantage? being able to con women to have s*x with you? If so then maybe a defense of 'my genes told me to do it' might work.

    Then again does getting such a dim-witted woman to have s*x with you count? I'm getting confused now.

    ttfn

  9. Subban

    o_O

    Perhaps that 5 minute online application to become a Minister in the Church of Life with a authentic printable certificate or whatever the hell it was could get me some payback... I just need to relocate!

  10. Balefire
    Paris Hilton

    Quote of the Year

    "Because we belonged to the entertainment business, the ritual involved oral sex, sexual intercourse and burning incense."

    Nuff said.

    Paris, obviously

  11. Flugal

    Super

    At what point do people stop believing in supernatural powers and forces existing?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    I too am a Taoist Mao Shan master...

    Not like that other faker, if you want your luck to change come and see me. I only require 3 sessions not eight!

  13. Eddie Edwards
    Thumb Up

    Haha

    Ironically, the reporting of this case will probably boost her career, which would indicate that he does indeed have the powers he claims!

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mind-boggling

    Boggling of the mind.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    For sale...

    10 copies of 'Taoist Mao Shan mastery for blaggers'...

    Folks, start your bidding to get your hands on a copy..

    Don't think for one minute that any young models are going to believe you without you knowing even the basics, this book will have you fooling even long time followers of Mao Shan Taoism!

  16. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Pint

    Just keep on trucking...

    It's always sad when the Buddha-belly turns out to be just another beer gut.

  17. John B

    If he was a real Taoist Master...

    ...he would have lasted a good deal longer than 15 minutes...there is a story of a taoist monk who used to live in a cave and traipse down to the local village and give all of the local prostitutes a good seeing to before heading back up to the hills again, having nourished (but never emitted, mind you) his 'vital essence'.

    I digress...but you get the idea :)

  18. Sooty

    scarey

    Lying to someone in order to have sex with them is illegal?

  19. Ermie Mercer

    "I believed..."

    "I believed he could help me change the luck in my career."

    He did... from bad to worse.

  20. Jamie Kitson

    Spoonerism

    Kwok-fu, you're making this up!

  21. Simon B
    Coat

    HK$200 What a rip off!

    HK$200 What a rip off! I'd have done it for HK$150 !!!

  22. LuMan
    Stop

    Playmobil...

    ..or it's a fake!

  23. Asgard
    Unhappy

    @Flugal: "At what point do people stop believing in supernatural powers and forces existing?"

    With such jaw dropping examples of shear stupidity, at times it doesn't give much hope. It seems so many people have near terminal levels of ignorance combined with hostile closed mindedness and indifference to sources of knowledge which would have otherwise helped them all see in time, past all the superstition and fear driven behaviors and liers who exploit (and even fuel) so much ignorance for their own gain.

    The more I've learned to understand the psychology of cluster B disorders, the more I've come to realize the problem isn't simply about better education. There are some people in this world who want most people to remain ignorant. Until we all deal with their lies and misinformation the world will never truly progress. Because as fast as we try to educate, they will seek to sow misinformation to manipulate themselves into positions of influence over others, ultimately always for their own gain.

  24. Youngone Silver badge
    FAIL

    Ha Ha Ha!

    This stupid lass is just the tip of the iceberg. We all have a laugh at the dumb crap that the US Religious masses believe in, just goes to show that there's just as much rubbish in Eastern mumbo-jumbo.

  25. John F. Jackson
    Joke

    I'm up for it ;-)

    "Aspiring model pleasures Taoist master

    By Lester Haines • Get more from this author"

    Your place or mine?

    "Thanks for the tip-off."

    The pleasure was all mine!

  26. John H Woods Silver badge

    @Asgard

    Bang on about 'B' - I absolutely agree.

  27. Reverend Brown
    Coat

    There is no spoon.

    I know Kwok-Fu.

    Mine's the black leather with the bottle of red pills in the pocket.

  28. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
    Coat

    Mao Shan Taoism for Dummies

    A bargain at HK$150. Condoms not included.

    Mine's the crumpled ceremonial robes with ink stains.

  29. AshC

    PlayMobil opportunity!!!!!!!!!

    Surely?

    No?

    ok then

  30. Ken 16 Silver badge
    Badgers

    There's a 50/50 chance this'll work...

    'cause it's guaranteed that one of us is getting lucky tonight!

  31. The Cube
    Alien

    How is this worse than other religion?

    Most western brands of Christianity promise to get you into "heaven" without evidence and then proceed to seek "voluntary" tributes or "donations" as well as proscribing what you can do. We won't mention any cases of choirboy buggering or other activities of their agents that the western churches work so hard to cover up and keep away from law enforcement.

    Scientology, well, enough said.

    It looks like this guy is at the legit end of the scale for proven, auditable delivery of what he promised, we have heard of her now. Even better, he actually got nicked for the illegal bit (unlike a Catholic priest) and may do his stir. What's not to like?

  32. ZenCoder
    Flame

    Thats illegal?

    The other day I listened to some angry verbally abusive person preaching to his followers hat if you "steal from God", by giving the guy doing all the yelling even a penny less than 10% of your income, you are "dead to God" and that nothing good can ever happen to you.

    I have also hear religious groups offering free debt counseling which consisted of them not paying any bills but instead giving all their money to "God". The theory being that "God won't take your money" and that that for every dollar you donate to them God will put two more into your life.

  33. The First Dave
    Boffin

    Law

    What do they mean by: "procuring unlawful sexual acts by false pretences"

    Does that mean that unlawful acts are okay as long as they are consensual?

    Does it mean that vanilla sex by false pretences is okay?

    We do all need to be clear on exactly what is what.

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