back to article El Reg launches 'Comment of the Week'

We're almost delighted this crisp October Friday to announce the launch of the El Reg "Comment of the Week" slot, in which the crème de la crème of the previous seven days' turdspurts and shoutpourings will be showcased for the reading pleasure of you, our beloved commentards. The selection will, of course, be a matter for the …

COMMENTS

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  1. Peter Fielden-Weston 2
    Stop

    These are...

    Just so wrong.

    On so many levels just wrong!

    I think If I tried to taste one of those my mouth would reject me.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Coffee/keyboard

    Sorry...

    I've just had a thought about the Moderaterix and liquid fill camel balls, in the same sentence.

    I need to lie down now.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    What's this got to do with IT?

    Had to be said.

  4. Anon the mouse

    Meh, Rather have......

    What about some nice BooBee juice instead.

    http://www.unibev.co.uk/1210/8456.html

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Really?

    I've always said these competitions are bollocks.

  6. ThaRobster
    Grenade

    Say what?

    I would like to find out more about this product, but there is no way in hell that I'm typing "Liquid Filled Camel Balls" in to Google whilst I'm at work!

    While we're here, can I request that box cover as a new comment icon? This is the nearest I could find, although the alt text "Suck On This" is quite apt.

    Additional: It turns out that the spell-checker bundled with Google Chrome which activates on comment boxes like this, doesn't know the word "Google". Not self-aware quite yet then.

  7. John A Fotheringham
    Troll

    And the winner is...

    ...probably going to be someone (whose merest parameters I am unworthy to compute) commenting on that camel balls picture!

  8. Liam Johnson
    WTF?

    Where?

    Who would do such a thing? Please tell us where these things come from, so I can avoid going there.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Fuck this...

    ...i'm not playing your sordid game.

    Oh, wait......

  10. David Webb
    Joke

    Oh dear

    Camel balls again? Reminds me of this time I got drunk in Cairo, but lets not go there!

  11. Annihilator
    Pint

    CoTW

    Can I please suggest that CoTW, the "C" doesn't stand for "Comment", but for the word that generally manages to offend all. 4 letters, ends in "t".

    If this move is successful, may I be the first to nominate that Griffin chap as CoTW for his performance on QT last night?

  12. The Original Ash
    Coat

    What?

    They're not salty?

  13. Ron Murray
    Dead Vulture

    Aaaarrrggghhh!!!!

    You could at least have marked that NSFW!

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    "what quite possibly represents the most ill-advised piece of bubble gum branding of all time."

    Don't count on it. 20+ years ago, a Danish upstart in the candy business marketed their candy as "Seagull droppings", "dog farts", "Sewer sludge", "Earwax", "Full diapers", etc. And a sample bag of the whole collection, obviously, "the dump".

    An enormous markerting success which made the owner millions by the time he sold it off. In reality, what they produced was of course much the same as everyone else.

  15. Jason Togneri
    Joke

    Hmm

    So what you're saying is that El Reg currently has balls, but once we start commenting, we'll be the ones with more balls than you?

    </predictable>

  16. SuperTim
    Thumb Up

    Ahem...

    I am awaiting a suitable article, as i am sure a witticism or two will avail me of a brace of said balls. Slurp!

  17. Aaron Jacobs

    Where can I get these???

    I want some.

    Just to see peoples faces when left in the staff canteen!

  18. JASR
    Pint

    CotW

    And there was me thinking that El Reg had gone for the 'c' word to replace the 'Flame' of FotW...

    That's the word 'Comic', ...obviously.

  19. Les Matthew
    Flame

    Sod comment of the week

    Whatever happened to flame of the week?

  20. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Sorry...

    Back in your basket.

  21. Number6

    One-time offer?

    Admit it, you only decided to offer the prize because you'd managed to get something from a Viz advert. If it had been plain boring-brand bubble gum then you'd all just be sticking it under your own desks like chewing gum.

  22. Juan Inamillion

    Tasteful

    Some years ago in Australia I seem to remember a liquid-filled chewing gum called 'Spurt' that went down well.

    A friend of mine at the time assured me there was also an after-shave called SureFuck...

  23. Winkypop Silver badge
    Flame

    But if someone in Virginia wins.....

    ...do you ship to "America"?

  24. Blake St. Claire

    Camel Balls -- Only in the Britain Isles

    God Bless the British Isles

    The Great British Isles Dream

    Take a look at my girlfriend

    She's the only one I got

    Not much of a girlfriend

    Never seem to get a lot

    Take a jumbo across the water

    Like to see the British Isles

    See the girls in Caledonia

    I'm hoping its going to come true

    But there's not a lot I can do

    Could we have kippers for breakfast

    Mummy dear, mummy dear

    They got to have 'em in Dublin

    'Cause everyone's a millionaire

    I'm a winner, I'm a sinner

    Do you want my autograph

    I'm a loser, what a joker

    I'm playing my jokes upon you

    While there's nothing better to do

    Don't you look at my girlfriend

    She's the only one I got

    Not much of a girlfriend

    Never seem to get a lot

    Take a jumbo cross the water

    Like to see the British Isles

    See the girls in Caledonia

    I'm hoping its going to come true

    But theres not a lot I can do

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ITSATRAP!

    So are elReg commenters foolish enough to give their REAL details and REAL email address, knowing that if you say anything that upsets elReg, they mock you?

    Me thinks this is a trap :)

  26. Pete 2

    Cisco?

    Did they really ask for their name to be associated with this article?

    Not sure if that makes me more or less likely to buy their products.

  27. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
    Coat

    54321

    Of course, after you've slurped on your camel balls for a while, you'll need to be washing it down with some spunk..

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/03/19/cokes_spunky_water_pulled/

    Mine's the dirty mac.

  28. The Beer Monster
    Thumb Up

    @Sarah Bee, @Annihilator

    @Sarah: You're cruel. Keep up the good work. You remind me of an editor I know ;)

    @Annihilator: Cart? Curt? Cant?

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    what do the losers get...

    2 packets ?

  30. MnM
    Heart

    Comments turning pro

    What stakes!

    On the one hand, when commentards become overexcited, the Moderatrix will scold, chastise or castrate, individually or collectively, as appropriate. On the other, Lester delicately dangles his delicious juicy camel bollocks on the tips of our tongues - though we all know only one will get to nibble.

    It will be a melee. I, for one, salute not only future winners, but those who die trying.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Coffee/keyboard

    Can't get Chef out of my head....

    'suck on my chocolate salty balls'

    oh dear.

  32. richard 7
    Boffin

    @Winkypop

    Now thats a customs declaration form I'd like to see...

    Contents: pair camels balls

    Checked as a Gift of corse, or maybe an industrial sample?

  33. asiaseen

    @ Sir R Spoon

    Alternatively, the Japanese electronolytical drink, Pokari Sweat

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dear Moderator

    I've got a picture of you and the camel before he had his balls chopped off so send them over toot sweet and we'll say no more about it.

  35. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Dear Moderator

    Certainly. Would you also like me to send over that video of you and that horse? Or should we meet in person for a friendly discussion? That cafe next to your bank is very nice.

  36. Gavin 6

    @ Really? By Anonymous Coward

    The competitions are fine - its the prizes that are bollocks!

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Why, oh why, ...

    ...sully the gentle art of anonymous commentary with filthy lucre (and gonads)? The art of the comment cannot be bought and sold, like common journalism. A handful of silver (or gonads) might buy you column-inches and gold may rent you a whole tabloid of colour supplements, but no amount of treasure (or heaping pile of gonads) can make the smallest part of a downpayment on good anonymous commentary.

    A good comment is born from the sweaty consummation of the union between inspiration and opportunity. A panting, frantic, ecstatic culmination followed by a shameful period of self loathing and recrimination.

    No, it takes balls to bring forth a good comment and no box of gonads can possibly replace that.

    Yours, Anon (A commenter)

    [Please, sirs and madams, may I be considered for FoTW. Thank you. ]

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not quite as amusing...

    as the boxes of liquorice I once saw in Germany called Spunk.

  39. C-N

    The Taste

    Have they been feeding pineapples to the camel? I hear that helps the flavor.

  40. John Square
    Stop

    One flaw in the plan...

    ... You are assuming that once a week someone posts something here that impresses (in a positive way) Ms Bee.

    I truly doubt this is the case.

    Not that some of the comments aren't good, I just doubt that Sarah's impressed by them.

  41. Kevin Campbell
    Thumb Up

    bad candy

    http://www.bad-candy.com

    some very clever writing and the most awful "candy" imaginable from around the world.

    Haven't checked them lately, but wouldn't be at all surprised to find Camel Balls gum prominently displayed. Somehow, "WTF?!?" just doesn't cover this one...

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Re: Re: Dear Moderator

    That was artistic... But, um, five o'clock alright?

  43. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: One flaw in the plan...

    I'm impressed by your insight and candour, John, I can tell you that.

    I think I can manage one comment that makes me smirk in any given week. Just about.

  44. Trevor Pott o_O Gold badge
    Alien

    Re: Re: One flaw in the plan...

    The same 15 comments posted over and over again by dozens of commenttards. Modified only slightly from the last time that comment was posted. The same pointless memes, horribly rude expressions of personal and cultural predjudice. The same circular arguments repeated ad nauseam. Somehow despite all of that, you aren't totally jaded and inured to all the pointless blithering? You can extract amusement from this sorry lot? My ghast is well and truly flabbered.

    That either makes you either the single most patient human being alive or...

    ...Sarah...are you an alien?

    We should be told.

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    thanks

    This may or may not be SFW, but it's certainly (along with the comments) hilarious and just in time for the Friday rush.

  46. Annihilator

    @The Beer Monster

    "@Annihilator: Cart? Curt? Cant?"

    See you next Tuesday, yeah?

  47. Evil Genius

    So wrong, but...

    "just chew to release the juice"

    OK, off to be very ill and gargle with gin.

  48. Law
    Black Helicopters

    so tell me...

    ... is this going to be written and presented in the same style as Robin Lettice's weekly comments section, only with added camel balls and one moderatrix's rapist-wit??

    The old weekly comments roundup used to be the highlight of my week* - and while these figures may not be accurate, or based on anything concrete, I'd say when you stopped doing that roundup, commentard turd-spurts rose 59%, and intelligent/witty comments declined 33%.

    Maybe commentards of the week who make it to the roundup can have a golden icon with the dangly camel balls appear by default next to their names, like el-reg staff get their own vulture logo...

    * ok, not the highlight of the week, but a nice finish to a long, long week in IT

    Copter icon - as I assume you will not be using Royal Mail to deliver your juicy balls

  49. Niall 1
    Heart

    Judged by the Moderatrix...

    Would this be the same Moderatrix who is the epitome of style and sophistication, whose beauty and grace is matched only by her incisive wit, enviable intelligence and saintly patience, the ray of sunlight that occasionally shines through the dull and dreary comments section? I say this because it's true and needs to be said and not because I want put some camel balls in my mouth.

  50. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Boffin

    @Annihilator

    CYNT. What's that supposed to mean? 'Y' in the middle of a work is usually pronounced 'i', so that phonetecially makes 'Kint'

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Too bad

    It is a shame that Ms. Bee's comments are not eligible. Her's are the best more often than not.

  52. 3BEPOTEKCT

    RGB Award

    Reg Got Balls.

    I'm slightly in fear what's going to be for the winner's award next month. Either they will turn the camel front, or lift its tail up.

  53. jake Silver badge

    @The Beer Monster

    In light of the release of Win7, I think the C-word in question is "cost" ...

  54. Colin Wilson
    Paris Hilton

    The inaugral competition should be called...

    (going by the prize)

    Camel of The Week !

    It's gotta be Paris, she's milked more liquid out of balls than most...

  55. Chris 242

    CoTW

    Totally agree with acronym for CoTW. is inappropriate te for younger readers of El'Reg readers.

    Can I Suggest. "James Blunt" of The Week" for comments that are IT inoffensive, middle-of-the-road, generally dull and not likely to make readers evacute coffee on their monitors.

    Regards

    Simon Salmon-Simpleton

  56. Wanda.llewellyn

    Camel balls

    do they cum in a plain wrapper

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    re: Why, oh why

    That's far too lucid and poetic for a FoTW. Might have a shot at CoTW, though.

  58. Deadly_NZ
    Megaphone

    Camel balls

    Here in NZ we have some peanuts called Nicks Nuts and yes the slogan is

    "Nibble Nicks Nuts" Now they gotta be better than blowing Camel Bubbles....

  59. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Quality of Depravity

    Many a tech forum has deteriorated to the realm of Those Who Crap in Their Own Cereal.

    Clearly a more depraved crowd and a stern Moderatrix makes all the difference!

    But what once was done for the whip and the leather may not be done for treats. Pity, pity!

  60. Fred Flintstone Gold badge
    Thumb Up

    @ What?

    Personally, I think that comment should win as "funniest within the shortest possible amount of text". Quality.

    However, I must not fail to compliment the ever alert El Reg team for finding this stuff. How do you actually get any work done? :-). It's exactly this orthogonal approach to IT that makes people with a twisted sense of humour like me come back (and the good IT stories, of course :-)).

  61. B Candler
    Coat

    Sweet prize

    Must have gotten it off E-bay. E-bay gum.

    I'll get my coat.

  62. James Boag
    Headmaster

    Have we not seen this before !

    As i recall Viz would give a sachet of instant soup to any top tip published and the best would receive a Newcastle United thermos flask, Could el reg not provide the best with a Organ transplant container (branded with El Regs logos) to hold said balls ?

  63. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
    Heart

    @Law

    "... is this going to be written and presented in the same style as Robin Lettice's weekly comments section, only with added camel balls and one moderatrix's rapist-wit??"

    I'm really hoping you meant 'rapier-wit' - not sure Ms Bee has gone that far yet, but who knows?

  64. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Camel balls

    Oooh, where can I get my hands on some of these Camel Balls? I'd so love to go to and see one of my clients who happens to have an office full of women and ask them if they want to suck on my balls.

    Anon because I'm worried my wife'll read this and get the wrong idea and releave me of my balls.

  65. NoBed
    Grenade

    NoBed

    This puts a great new spin on the art of 'teabagging'

  66. skeptical i

    Should we be concerned that the camel is shooting red or pink?

    Isn't that usually an indicator that all is not well in the nether regions? Caveat emptor.

  67. David Sidebotham
    Jobs Horns

    What have camel balls got to do with IT?

    Come on! When has El Reg EVER had anything to do with IT? It's just a geek mag.

  68. Coltek

    One could easily get the Hump about this....

    .... and that,s all.

  69. The Beer Monster
    Grenade

    @Annihilator

    You don't say? I'd never have guessed...

  70. Law
    Happy

    @ Sir Runcible Spoon

    ... It's a dumb & dumber quote (I think)... thought with the Bee being as feisty as she is, it was fairly appropriate. :)

  71. hazzi

    yum yum!

    mmm, surprisingly tender.

  72. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    We need a title ?

    Like another Ac said - we've gotta know where to buy these. I've been pounding Google searches for ages and still haven't found a vendor.

  73. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @"....It's just a geek mag."

    Hell yeah, and the pages ain't stuck together.

    Anyway, I've smoked a few Camels in my time but I've never sucked their balls. Thats just disgusting.

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