Surely this has to be one from the Timewaster Letter series?
The world of books is buzzing about a new publishing sensation to rival Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol, industry sources have revealed to The Register. A groundbreaking proposal from new North West author Duncan Webster arrived at the office of publishing giant Random House last week, but quickly leaked to rivals and has sparked …
We're all going to laugh at the stupidity of the idea, then some publisher will pick up on it, make millions and before we know it Duncan Webster will be on every TV panel show and radio comedy in much the same way Dave Gorman keeps dining out on the back of one good idea rather than any actual comedy ability.
This seems to be the sort of author who should be directed to such luminaries of the publishing industry as the Writers Literary Agency, in the fervent hope author and agent enjoy a life-long business relationship. For the rest of us, I am sure that more conventional approaches will work far better, if we're any good as writers.
(I do think that the turn-round time some publishers give for submissions is excessive. At least this guy knows they've read his letter.)
It would have to be very well written to be worth reading. I would investigate Mr Webster's writing talent before agreeing to publish. It takes more than a funny idea to write a whole book and I can see this getting old fast once the novelty has worn off.
Wait.. I am wrong. People will buy that based only on the cover and the lulz.
Also I would quite like to see his cock since I am wondering what it looks like now.
Yeah, sure he's showing people his cock. Ha ha ha.
But it'd be interesting to see the different views on it- interviews with people around the world on whether or not it's considered a bit dodgy (even having asked for permission) to whip out one's todger. Even funnier to see peoples reactions when they've just said "yeah, I don't think it's that big a deal" and he asks if they'd like to see his...
And if it's a crap book, he could do "Do I Look Good In SemiTransparent American Flag Drag" while touring the middle east for his next one.
I don't think I'll get the original priapic-cover, I think I'll wait for flaccidback before I buy it...
Ill bet that this letter is taken more seriously than the FSF letter about how evil windows/Microsoft is!
Id just put a video of it swinging around on you tube and start rick rolling people with it.. (actually its probably less irritating/offensive than the actual Rick Astley video anyway!)
( \ )
Hope the ascii art knob finds you well.
Reminds me of something my gran told us, ages back. Being a dog owner, she'd regularly meet other local dog owners on walks around the local woods. Anyway, the word went round the dog walkers that this lad was flashing women in these woods. An elderly friend of my gran's put a bit of a halt to his career though when he flashed her, she took a look and told him, "Young man, I used to work as a nurse, and I've seen a lot better ones than that!"
Grannies With Attitude. Can't beat them. :)
Adrian Edmondson explored this in his book "How to be a Complete Bastard" back in the mid-80s. The two main strands were, firstly, getting your nob to make history, so that it has to be shown on the news, and secondly, getting your nob on "That's Life."
On the subterfuge front, I refer you all to Nick the Dick's "salami in a bun" stunt in the Tom Hanks film "Bachelor Party."
On the music front, I nominate "The Dog, the Dog, He's At It Again" by Caravan, and "I Want to Show My Flower" by Hilltop John.
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