back to article Google urges developers to get in loop with Noop

Web developers are being encouraged by the world’s largest ad broker to get in a lather about Google’s Noop language. Mountain View said that Java Virtual Machine-based Noop, which is pronounced ‘noh-awp’, “attempts to blend the best lessons of languages old and new, while syntactically encouraging industry best-practice and …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    no more python?

    ....which was last heralded as the best thing since sliced bread, by er Google!!

    In fact here at [big well known company i work for], the only use of python was to do some stuff with Google apps / gears, that was not a major effort nor very useful (in terms of saving time or money) and python has since been dropped.

    Its easy for google to tell us what to code in, but how about the set up needed to do anything in the real world with it all... unless you are running your own servers and have buy-in from your friendly IT dept then running anything other than a major language is not going to happen anytime soon.

    Thanks for another new variation on the wheel though!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    What a joke

    It's a bit of syntactic sugar on Java as far as I can see. Java sucks already, so why should this language be any different?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Completely JVM Based?

    What happens when Oracle decides Google pisses them off and they alter the JVM (now that they own it after buying Sun) and your Noop code is now FAILED?

    It does look promising. Java has some attributes that are less than inspiring.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Who names these things?

    No-op for a programming language? I'm reminded of the urban legend about the fate of the Nova in Mexico.

    Sigh.

  5. Charlie Clark Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    There's no such thing as bad publicity

    Yes, yes, it's a research project very nice and all that and aren't Google nice for letting you play with it.

    Or is this just an attempt by Google's PR team to deflect attention away from it's real business, especially All your books are belong me.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    what's in a name?

    "Noop"

    Like urm "No-Op"?

    Yes those were the day's weren't they... stick in a few no-ops to slow down

    the code so the hardware could catch up and the display doesn't flicker so much.

    I know, I know there's a growing tendency of bloat in code, simple tasks taking longer and longer to execute, hello_world now compiling to multi-megabytes when it used to work in 50bytes.. and yes... asymptotic trends and all that, but are they taking the micky?

    A: "what are you programing in?"

    B: "no-op - It's the final generation of computer languages, you put in 10 man-years of a beautifully commented code the size of wikipedia, and the intricate "just-too late" (TM) compilation and code optimisation cycles back and forward over it performing rigorous testing procedures until there the whole code has been reduced to the absolutely perfect human-machine interface and at the end of the process gives you your pay-packet and a beer or coffee depending on your colour scheme."

    A: "But what does the code do?"

    B: "It uses up programmer's time until 5pm Friday, while maximizing the lines of code and minimising the out of hours debugging time as the deadline approaches, because it's impossible to write buggy noop code!"

    A: "Yes, but what's the code for?"

    B: "I told you. It's written in NoOp. Once written the code can be applied to anything you like,

    You know, like ID card schemes that'll get trashed just before delivery, biometric passport face scanners, airliner mounted laser cannons that can deliver a laser bolt almost as effective as a small calibre rifle bullet, things like that... Anything that'll never do anything useful...

    You know - anything where there's the chance of a sane human being at the end of the line deciding that they can do things 1000 times better themselves and ignore what the computer's doing"

    A: You mean it wastes time

    B: LIke I said, it's in noop.

  7. Doc Dish
    WTF?

    NOOP

    NOOP is assembly language for NO Operation Performed. Is Noop a language that does nothing? At least it will be virtually impossible to write malware in it (until Microsoft write an interpreter for it, that is!)

  8. the real jacob
    Badgers

    When I saw Noop

    I thought, "No way I would use that, it couldn't sound more ridiculous". Then I saw the proper noh-awp pronunciation... and it sounds more ridiculous.

  9. Kristian Walsh Silver badge

    At least they've got a sense of humour

    An apt name: NOOP - No Operation. The machine code instruction that does nothing, unless you count wasting time and energy.

    Why can't we all just stick to INTERCAL?

  10. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    More appropriate opcodes

    HCF - Halt and Catch Fire

    RST - Rewind and Stretch Tape

    JOC - Jump On Conundrum

    EXE - EXecute Engineer

  11. Lyle Dietz
    Coat

    Nothing doing

    I'll just stick my head on the desk and go to sleep. If anyone asks, I'm writing a program on Noop.

    Mines the one with the padded hood...

  12. This post has been deleted by its author

  13. Ken Hagan Gold badge
    Happy

    @AC, 19:05 GMT (what's in a name)

    Verity, is that you?

  14. breakfast

    Nobody has mentioned this...

    Hey! No-op is the machine code for... oh, wait.

    I bet the extremely smart and technically literate engineers at Google never thought of that at all. Well spotted folks.

    I guess if they couldn't get away with "noop" as "no-op" I'd find my local coop only stocked eggs.

  15. Graham Bartlett

    @Paul

    Other useful assembly mnemonics:-

    BNE - Burn Nearby Equipment

    LDA - Lose DAta

    DJNZ - Supplying Antipodean dance music

    SUB - Incoming torpedo!

    Of course, the ones more suitable to Google's purpose are:-

    RTI - Randomly Troll Internet

    BEQ - Beat dead EQuine

  16. OffBeatMammal

    ignore history at your peril

    this is what happens when Google employs 12 year old engineers who didn't ever have to hand craft 65c02 or z80 assembler... they probably don't even realise why we're laughing at them

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Coffee/keyboard

    waste

    Great, another programming language.

  18. Aaron Em

    "...only stocked eggs."

    Nicely done!

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