back to article Disgruntled parrot lays into copper

A rookie police officer suffered scratches and bites to his hands and arms after being asked to escort a celebrity parrot to a Dover police station, the Telegraph reports. The parrot in a scene from Curse of the Black Pearl. Still: Walt Disney Pictures The owner of the 3ft wingspan macaw was pulled at Dover ferry dock after …

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  1. Ted Treen
    Coat

    No doubt...

    ...there'll be a new jailbird in Dover...

    Mine's the one with the treasure map & pieces of eight in the pocket.

  2. exit...quit...bye...quitbye.ctrl-C..ctrlX.ctrl-alt-X...aarrrr*slam*
    Pirate

    Scratches and bites? Lucky cop.

    Lucky copper if he only suffered scratches and bites. My parents own^H^H^Hlive with a Thimney grey parrot which is about a third of the macaws size and still can unleash serious mayhem[1] if bothered. An annoyed macaw should be able to take your fingers easily.

    Relatives have Kongo grey (slightly larger than a Thimney and talks less) who killed a cat. Circumstances unknown, but it was not their cat. Had a broken wing afterwards, though.

    [1] all the way down to the bone and leave a scratch mark there, in case you wondered. The claws are less dangerous, but a parrot has eight of them.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Soon to be owned

    no doubt by a well known mobile wielding Streatham cloths horse.

    AC 'cos Her aim is far too good.

  4. Richard Pennington 1
    Pirate

    Before anyone else says it

    Shouldn't that be " ... will appear before the beak ..."

    Pirates, because...

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    I'm gonna be rich!

    I just had an idea for the latest feel-good hollywood comedy cop-buddy-drama! An inexperienced junior rookie cop with big ideas gets teamed up with a cynical, hard-bitten, hard-drinking, foul-mouthed parrot who's only two days from retirement! IT'S SOLID GOLD I TELL YA! WE'LL MAKE A MILLION!

  6. Anton Ivanov
    Grenade

    Re: Scratches and bites? Lucky cop.

    Agree. Even a "harmless" Cockatiel or Budgie can easily draw blood.

    A Macaw has no problem biting your finger off if it decides to do so. Based on this description is merely mildly annoyed and showing lack of benevolence. The police officer should consider himself lucky not to require major surgery.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Should have got his own back

    With an S44 search. After all, why stop at 6 year olds?

  8. Max Pritchard
    Coat

    This is the kind of scenario...

    ... tazers were invented for.

    Surely.

    No? Just me then.

  9. markthebrewer

    Up before the Beak

    Sorry

  10. Player_16

    Rookie should get a medal for injury in the line of duty.

    I mean really. The bird is only protecting its property. If the driver drove that far, they could make amends and let the driver follow them to the station. I'm quite sure the drive isn't gonna do a runner:

    'Attention, I'm in high pursuit of a vehicle with a female driver with a 'bird' in the front seat.'

    Did that sound right?

  11. Jerome 0
    WTF?

    Cage?

    Wouldn't it have been more sensible to get a cage and stick the damn bird in it? As opposed to attempting to drive while a bloody great parrot flaps around in front of your face? Isn't that the idiocy which this woman was pulled over for in the first place... and then the police decide to copy her?

  12. LuMan
    Coat

    No pain killers..

    ...'cos the parrots-eat-em-all!!!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

    Ahem.

    Ok, I know..

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Parrot

    The parrot should think itself lucky that it wasn't arrested for "aiding and abetting piracy" or something...

  14. AndrueC Silver badge
    Happy

    Going up before the beak?

    Ahem.

    I get a similar problem with my budgie. Every time I open my laptop he flies down to join in. It doesn't help that he isn't toilet trained :-/

    I do have the good sense to keep him locked in his cage when I'm transporting him around though. Not that he cares. Many's the time I've been driving along the motorway with him hanging upside down from his ceiling.

  15. Dennis
    Coat

    Where's the IT angle?

    Pieces of one. Pieces of one.

    What's that?

    It's a parroty-bit.

  16. Andy ORourke
    Joke

    @Richard Pennington 1 & Up Before the beak

    She might even end up "doin Bird!"

  17. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    But surely?

    If I was driving down the road with a bird loose in the car the cops would pull me over for dangerous driving or driving without due care and attention?

    So why the hell was this copper allowed to drive with a loose bird in the car? Or is it the usual "We're the cops, we're above the law" attitude that they seem to have developed recently?

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In vain

    I ^S'd for "commode" after copper. I even looked at the source HMTL for white type.

  19. raving angry loony

    right...

    So the cops pulled the lady over for having an unattached bird in the car, so they took it upon themselves to have an unattached bird in the car as they drove it away? Rather than wait for someone to arrive with a bird cage?

    Yeah, that makes sense. Why are these people allowed weapons again? Hell, why are they allowed outside without supervision? They make the Keystone cops look like fucking superheroes.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good Thing

    Good thing it wasn't the Met --- they'd have shot it.

  21. Doug Skranak

    parrot networks

    Hmm, being a network geek, based off of the title, I was trying to figure out how a parrot took out a provider's IP or TDM network by chewing through the copper cable. Perspective is everything.

  22. Astarte

    Pieces of Seven

    It’s an old one, but still very good:

    Question

    What goes ‘Pieces of seven, pieces of seven’?

    Answer

    A parity error.

    Sorry about that – back to my perch.

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