back to article Lord Mandelson wants mobile internet fix

Mandy has summoned heads of all the UK mobile operators in the hope of sorting out the 900MHz question, a roadblock on the way to Digital Britain which shows no signs of moving. The news comes courtesy of the Guardian, which reports that Lord Mandelson has called the meeting on Tuesday. He is hoping to get the operators to …

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  1. CraigRoberts
    FAIL

    A challenge for the Labour Government

    .... Piss up... Brewery... Organise...

    Ugh...

    And can someone please stop the Prince of Darkness getting involved with everything? No-one elected Brown as Prime Minister, and the Mandleson twat got kicked out of government not once, but TWICE for corruption and is now an unelected Lord, in charge while Gordon's doing community service...

    The Americans are into spreading democracy... maybe they could pop over and assist with a bit of regime change over here? I'm pretty sure they'll enjoy more support than in Iraq and Afghanistan...

    Thanks.

  2. Sabine Miehlbradt
    Troll

    Lord Mandelson Summons mobile operators

    puts empty wallet on table and goes out for a smoke.

    Sarcastic? Moi?

  3. Neill Mitchell
    Stop

    Who is this guy anyway?

    I don't remember ever voting him in. If this unelected member of the public ever gets to be PM then I'm moving to Mars.

  4. TeeCee Gold badge
    Joke

    Mandelson summoning.

    The only surprise here is that Mandelson can Summon something that isn't better equipped in the horns, teeth, claws, leathery wings and eyes-on-stalks departments.

    I guess Necromancy ain't what it used to be.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Terminator

    Please ! Please !

    Somebody go to his volcano lair and kill him.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Oh I see Lord Fondlebum is at it again...

    Check his social calender for the past month and you'll PROBABLY find he's had some hospitality from some oligarch who will benefit hugely from this latest bit of Mandy billhooks.

    Probably Lord O2 or summat. The price of Mandy's dead hand is I understand on a fixed price menu these days.

    Lobster Thermidor, crystal champagne and a quick five million in a numbered swiss account.

    Then he'll legislate whatever you want.

    Champagne socialists...in the Gene Hunt mode....

    I''ve sh1t 'em.

    Where did Mandy find the cash to pay off his huge dishonestly obtained mortgage then eh?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    bur shurly...

    Lord Mandelson? I would have thought it should be Baroness Mandelson

  8. breakfast
    IT Angle

    Not terribly relevant...

    I know it's not actually related to the story, but the headline made me think of the name "Lord Voldemandelson" and I thought I'd shared...

  9. Giles Jones Gold badge
    WTF?

    He doesn't 'get' the Internet

    If he doesn't understand what the 'net is all about then why is he involved in this?

    The irony of him wanting to provide Internet access to all, but at the same time he talks about cutting people off if one of his wealthy media buddies gets a bit upset about file sharing.

  10. The Indomitable Gall

    @CraigRoberts

    Once again, I feel it needs pointed out that the country does not vote for a Prime Minister in this country. It is not a presidential system. The prime minister is theoretically chosen by sitting MPs, but there is now an assumed choice of "the party's man" and no-one is asked to vote directly. The question would only be open in a coalition.

    If your "I didn't vote for him" line made any sense whatsoever, it would make coalitions constitutionally impossible. It is to be assumed that the majority coalition partner would get the top job, but how could they as the people represented by the minority partner "didn't vote for him", so he would be without a majority.

    So give it a rest. Once and for all (at the risk of being unfairly dismissed):

    WE DON'T VOTE FOR PRIME MINISTERS.

  11. lukewarmdog

    g/t/f/o

    Roll on the General Election, get this weasel out.

    Grima Mandelson.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Butt Shirley shoorli?

    It is good to see some movement on this.

    P'raps m'lud might wish to extend formal legal status to publicly owned stuff that will henceforth avoid all instances of the public paying through the nose for using services it already owns?

    Maggie (huk thwhoo) the thatch was the one that started selling public stuff to the public only for the learned to observe that the daft bug*ers don't mind paying three or four or more times for something that ought to have been paid for just the once.

    I really am beginning to conclude:

    UK you get what you deserve.

  13. frank ly Silver badge
    Stop

    @Craig Roberts re. A challenge...

    ".No-one elected Brown as Prime Minister.."

    The Labour party executive elected Gordon Brown as leader of the party and hence he is the de-facto Prime Minister, since Labour are in power.

    The exact same process and result has occurred in the past for Tony Blair and all other previous Prime Ministers (except that Conservative Prime Ministers were elected by an executive committee of the Conservative party).

    We don't elect a Prime Minister in this country. You may be getting confused with the American procedure where the people elect a President.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And while they're at it...

    They might also reconsider whether it was smart to give Rupert Murdoch a monopoly of satellite and Richard Branson a monopoly of cable.

    Cable in particular is the obvious answer to our boradband limitations. So naturally the brilliant UK government has entrusted it wholly to Virgin Media, a company that doesn't know the difference between a bit and a byte (and one of whose managers recently told me they couldn't support my Internet "dominion").

  15. Vincent Ballard
    FAIL

    @The Indomitable Gall

    Nonsense. The Queen invites the person she considers most able to form a government to be PM. This is usually the leader of the party with the most seats.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Voting for PM's

    While agreeing that we do not 'directly' vote for Prime Ministers, it is the party they run and their politics that people vote for.

    With that in mind, people may have voted (foolishly IMHO) for Blair and Labour, but the same cannot be said about Brown et al.

    So technically, you're all right - except for Brown who I never voted for...

    Paris - because she know's how to pick 'em.

  17. dervheid
    FAIL

    No, but...

    "The 50 pence-a-month levy to pay for better broadband in the countryside, as recommended in Lord Carter's Digital Britain report, isn't going to happen. Punters won't pay it, and the government isn't going to impose it directly before a general election."

    No, but they have rammed a 2p/litre rise on fuel up our collective arses.

    Wankersthefuckinglotofthem.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    what a fscking mess

    I was pondering over the whole mess the pectrum liscence has got into anyway...

    and then this f**ktard MAndelson starts sticking his unelected beak into it all as well... why the fsck has he got his finger in this pie as well? the whole lot of tw*ts can just p*ss off and let

    industry and technologists sort it out... oh wait, they want to be involved because theres a chance of getting some ca$h out of the whole thing - maybe pay off some of their banking wankery?

    Paris - because she'd do a better job than either of the clueless idiots

  19. David Simpson 1
    Megaphone

    Factual Correction for Silly Complainer

    "They might also reconsider whether it was smart to give Rupert Murdoch a monopoly of satellite and Richard Branson a monopoly of cable"

    No-one gave Sky a monopoly on satellite they paid cash money for the astra satellite, several other media monsters rent the use of it.

    No-one gave Virgin a monopoly on cable either, Telewest and NTL also paid cash money to have fibre optic cables installed in people's streets the resulting debt is what forced their merger with Virgin.

    Why on earth do you ever talk to support ? If you need their help buying or setting up a domain you shouldn't be using one.

  20. SuperTim

    let's not forget the government meddling!

    O2 and Vodafone weren't just given GSM900 and told to run with it. They were forced to separate their network from their billing and that meant that 3 could have easily decided to operate a mobile comms company by buying bulk of either network (can you say competition?). The gov then let one2one and orange run their own network and billing system together, meaning they could choose their own network or one of the competitions. THEN the gov offered 3g and all 4 companies bought it. 3 also bought it. The gov didnt give any help to o2 and voda when they allowed the other two companies to bill their own customers, but now the boot is on the other foot and o2 and voda have spare spectrum, suddenly "it's not fair"

    That mandelson needs to take a long walk of a short peer! (geddit?)

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    "allowing 3G at 900MHz devalues their assets"

    Er, the main thing devaluing the 3G licence holders companies is debt resulting from the ridiculous amount they *chose* to pay for the 3G licences in a "free and fair" (but very silly) spectrum auction. Anybody with a calculator and a clue could see that there was no practical way they'd recover their "investment" in any reasonable timescale. Maybe the bidders only had slide rules and got the decimal point in the wrong place?

    As for Lord "Two Resignations" Mandelson... come on Torygraph, get digging, it's time for Number Three.

  22. CraigRoberts
    Happy

    @Gall, @Frank ly

    I appreciate that we don't directly vote for our Prime Minister - I'm not a complete muppet, no matter what you may think...

    However, the leader of the particular political party is (fairly or unfairly) a direct influence on the way that some (majority?) people vote in the general election. Tony Blair (and Gordon) were directly responsible for "New Labour" and with Blair as the figurehead, it could be argued that a large amount of people voted for the Labour party based on the fact that he was at the top.

    When Gordon took over, there was a HUGE movement in the media and the public - certainly the people that I've spoken to - to try and get a General Election called so that Gordon could ratify (for want of a better word) his position. And it looked like he would... The General Election machine was so far into the gearing up process that even Labour MPs were banging on about how the election was on its way... Then all of a sudden, as soon as the polls came back where Labour was looking to take a battering, Gordon Brown changed his mind.

    It is due to this, where were almost promised and election which was then snatched away from us when he realised he would lose, that I won't give it a rest.

    My other point about a non-elected corrupt manipulative evil bastard seemingly running the Government and who seems to be power building more and more stands.

    :)

  23. MinionZero
    Big Brother

    "Lord Mandelson" ... "summoned heads of all the UK mobile operators."

    Maybe he needs their severed heads in some kind of sacrificial right? ... either that or he is running low on severed horses heads to send people messages.

    Big Brother icon because the high priest of corruption Mandelson wants to be at the centre of the information web. "More Knowledge, More Power (tm) 2009" - (c) Mandelson Global Megalomaniacs Inc. 2009.

  24. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge
    Flame

    HyperRadioProActive IT to InterNetional Rescue .... Is there anybody out/in there?

    If The Indomitable Gall were Brown, Gordon, it would certainly explain his fervour and hubris. And the man is an imposter/pretender to office exactly because of the succinct explanation provided by CraigRoberts Posted Tuesday 1st September 2009 15:32 GMT

    Quite why the whole Opposition do not stand up and be counted as good men and women and true and refuse to perpetuate the ridiculous scam and withdraw from Parliamentary business and insist upon an immediate General Election and threaten a Constitutional Crisis, is a sad reflection upon them which is so easily rectified with that very simple radical action. They are certainly well within their rights and do us all and themselves a grave and pathetic dis-service to act as they do as cuckolds.

    And don't say it can't be done, because IT can easily prove that it can be done, .... and done easily, and IT will Help and Guide on Every Step of the WAI.

    "During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act " - George Orwell.

    In that case, Viva la Revolution/Soft Velvet Purge/Heavy MetaDataBase Pogrom/Noble Program.

    Is that Instant NEUKlearer Message Loud and Clear Enough, The Blue Blog, ..... who El Regers may not know, have The Register on their Top 20 blog roll ..... http://www.conservatives.com/News/Blogs.aspx

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    @Neill Mitchell

    ive already cashed in all my £££££ for €€€€€€ and ive got bookmarks for booking the ferry at short notice.

    i think Eastern Europe is looking very nice. nice and low tech at 36k broadband speeds and sparse mobile phone coverage and patchy electrical supply.

    anyone else wann join us...? (mandy is not invited, unless we can organise feeding him to one of the nocturnal locals, just remember to bring the flask and a stake, just in case they dont finish the job properly)

    tools of light in the pockets...

    ...of the fashionable VHelsing jacket...

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    wouldnt you like to be a fly on the wall at that meeting

    and watch as the mobile operators are systematicaly bent over and raped by mandy.... dont forget your telephoto's for proof.

    he'll probably demand they free up the digital caps and ruin even more of the coutryside with obnoxious towers of power...

    expect more taller towers with sat dishes to link into the main comms network, of course they will be covered in all operators systems and a red n white spike for the rubbish DVB coverage.

    wonder where mandy will be going on holiday at the operators expence.

    (probably somewhere that has no mobile coverage except sat-phone)...

    maybe we should roll whitenight out of storage in loughborough and refuel it and put mandy in it and send him home... using the moon at the first stop...

    (ill certainly pay towards the fuel bill to launch it)

  27. frank ly Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    @Craig Roberts re. @Gall.@Frank ly

    It's ok Craig, I was in knee-jerk pedantry mode (I'm good at that). As for your other points, I can argue for and against (and so can you) but this is not the place.

    "..It is due to this, where were almost promised and election which was then snatched away from us when he realised he would lose, that I won't give it a rest..."

    It's like pulling oar in a slave galley. You've been signed up for the full five years so stay bent over and get used to it - you have no say in this.

  28. Grease Monkey

    @David Simpson 1

    "No-one gave Virgin a monopoly on cable either, Telewest and NTL also paid cash money to have fibre optic cables installed in people's streets the resulting debt is what forced their merger with Virgin."

    Funnilly enough Telewest and NTL were not responsible for laying most of the cable. Most of that work was carried out by smaller local companies, Jones Cable and Yorkshire Cable round here. At the time the idea seemed to be to sell cable rights in small local areas, whish would avoid the problems associated with a monolithic entity like BT running the whole shebang. Good idea.

    In pretty short order various mergers and aquisitions meant that we had first two huge companies and finally one, Virgin Meeja, running things. The original poster's comment is perfectly valid. This situation should not have been allowed to arise. The Competition Commission (or whatever they are called this week) could have prevented it at the time. Or at least done the right thing and forced Virgin to seperate it's network arm from the rest of the business and throw open the "last mile" of the network for competitors to use.

    Likewise Sky should never have been allowed to buy BSB, oh sorry I clearly meant "merge with BSB".

    The whole area of regulation of cable is a joke. Although it was supposed to be the case that all new homes would have cable no structure was put in place to make this enforcible. The joke is that in some cases developers bothered to lay in cable infrastructure but then Virgin, NTL, Telewest or their predecessors refused to connect this into their network. It seems the prospect future of revenues was outweighed by having to spend a few grand putting a cabinet at the end of the street.

    It seems that any significant expansion of the cable network is never going to happen. I used to be a cable customer, but when I moved four years ago I found that my new address was not served by cable. I enquired about the future prospects for cable installation and was told "we plan to install cable in that area some time in the next three years". At some time in those three years it changed to being "we intend to expand our network to cover than postcode, but can't say when" and then to "we do not serve that postcode". Now of course they are happy to offer me ADSL, which I suspect is the death knell for cable expansion. The offer "up to 20Mbps", but once given my postcode that became "up to 6.5Mbps", compared with the rock solid 8Mbps I get at the moment? Well that's a no brainer then. I'm on a direct copper connection to the exchange (no jointing at all) of well under 1mile so where they get 6.5Mbps is anybody's guess.

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