back to article Docs wire up world's first internet-connected pacemaker

A New York woman has became the first person to receive a pacemaker wirelessly connected to her doctor, enabling monitoring and checkups without all that mucking about examining people. The device contains a radio transmitter which connects to receiving equipment in New Yorker Carol Kasyjanski's home, using a very low-power …

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  1. Bilgepipe
    Gates Horns

    Windows Heart Monitor

    As long as it's not running Windows, it should be good.

    "Hi, I'm Clippy, it looks like you're having a heart attack. What do you want to do...?"

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Does it glow red?

    Well they SAY it only transmits and doesn't recieve, but what about when its 'Evil Glowing Red' mode is activated by some well meaning but frighteningly dispationate AI?

  3. EdwardP
    Flame

    What...

    ...could possibly go wrong?

  4. James Le Cuirot
    Linux

    nagios

    Just wait, I bet there'll be a nagios plugin for this in no time.

  5. John 110
    Dead Vulture

    And what if your doctor's.....

    out on the golf course, will he interrupt his 18 holes to fix your pacemaker wirelessly? I don't think so!!

  6. Colin Guthrie
    Grenade

    Can't wait for the next Jean Claude or Steven Seagull movie...

    "Denial of Service: The Peacemaker" in theatres now!

    Our hero must block internet access so as to assassinate and evil drug lord/human trafficker/someone who pees in the shower/kitten murderer who has a network controlled pacemaker.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Just in time for Obama's health care

    " We are no longer going to counsel you on your end of life decision" Bye

  8. Christoph Silver badge
    Big Brother

    Very useful

    This will come in very handy for local councils. "Your blood pressure is up and your heart rate increasing. Are you lying about where you live so as to get your child into a better school?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Think it through...

    With a little bit of light systems integration, your Wii Fit could give your pacey a gentle prod if it thinks you're overdoing it. What's not to like?

  10. Simon Ward

    Never mind the Ping Of Death ...

    ... how long before someone attempts defibrillation with a Wake-On-LAN packet? (or someone modifies it to post 'I'm having a heart attack' on Tw@tter)

  11. Combat Wombat

    Mu hahaha !

    All you would need to do, is DDos the monitoring services, then sue when your father has a "heart attack" that wasn't picked up.... then sue

  12. Thomas 18
    Dead Vulture

    rumour has it....

    If you don't keep up your repayments on the medical bill you get a special call.

  13. Damien Thorn
    Terminator

    about time

    Its nice to see some decent use of modern technology for a change.

    The only issue i see is when she eventually "goes" she will have to be under EU law recycled waste electronics.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    I'm already borg'd

    ... as I have a sensor inserted which transmits my Blood Glucose levels to my insulin pump.

    I'm sure they could have it transmit via a basestation whenever I was within range or even design it to take a data only sim. The insulin pump doesn't need to be constantly monitored by a doctor though.

    I assume that you need to recharge the battery on this pacemaker fairly frequently though - I get about 6 days out of my battery and it is only transmitting less than a metre.

  15. flipper0465
    Jobs Horns

    A whole new meaning to

    the Blue Screen of Death!

  16. Ed Gould
    WTF?

    Would you trust this?

    Gee what would happen if some hacker hijacked your pace maker and set it to kill you or at the other extreme rerouted the information to a 3rd party and they sold that information to .... etc etc... and yes I can see homeland security getting involved in this. Yikes would I trust anything Homeland Security Does? Hell no they can't even handle terrorists without everybody giving up their civil liberties. Hey go ahead and read my email. Who knows maybe the spammers will spam you as well.. now where do I post the email address to the head of Homeland Security...

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