back to article Groovy punts SQL turbocharger

Groovy Corporation has launched an SQL database acceleration appliance, boasting of extreme speeds. According to Groovy, its Groovy SQL Switch "was 105 times faster and processed 37 times more orders per minute than the fastest relational database" when running the Dell DVD Store Database Test Suite. Groovy claims that when …

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  1. Your alien overlord - fear me

    So the 4 x 6-core processors

    didn''t make the contribution to it's speed then ?

  2. John Baker
    WTF?

    Hmmm....

    No mention of that thing called Microsoft SQL Server which I'm guessing if you're using a SQL environment your going to be using it.

    Also looking at the quick info sheet it can't handle all the basic functions etc that I expect SQL08 to perform. I wouldn't go near this with a barge pole if I had any MS SQL environment in all honesty.

  3. Ian Rogers
    FAIL

    We respect the laws of physics

    - by eliminating the "wait" -

    This is of course marketing nonsense. There will still be a "wait", they've just made it short enough not to notice.

  4. Gareth Stephens
    Stop

    @John Baker

    Grrrr.... SQL != SQL Server.

    SQL = Structured Query Language.

    SQL Server = Microsoft's implementation of a relational database.

    I'm fed up of people thinking SQL = SQL Server. How do you think you query an Oracle/MySQL/Postgres database?? That's right with 'SQL'...

  5. oliversalmon
    Alert

    Nothing New

    This sounds like a half arsed data grid to me, with slack kind of continuous query. If I want a data grid I'd use a data grid product, this half way house between a grid and and RDB doesn't seem to support either paradigm very well.

    I also agree that people who think SQL == SQL Server should have their geek license revoked!

  6. The First Dave
    Dead Vulture

    Facts

    So what the hell is this thing?

    I know, I could just Google it, but couldn't you have done that for all of us? Just a wee hint as to whether this is any use to the average user, or even the average multinational corporate business?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    FM

    It has the answer to the query before the database can produce it apparently.

    Or maybe it is a fast "intelligent" cache written to run the benchmark very well.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Have you read their PDF ...?

    First, the logo at the bottom right corner of the document is a blatant rip-off of the Oracle logo, Psychologically very subtle.

    Secondly, it seems to consist of nothing but marketing bullshit that would be very difficult to test in a real-world situation.

    Kudos if it actually works, though.

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