back to article Kingdom of Sweden dragged into Reg smut-basket

Our suggestion that the newly-legit Pirate Bay could follow Vuze by offering adult content has triggered great national sensitivities. Take it away, pseudonymous reader: From: techie dude Date: Wed, Jul 1, 2009 at 9:18 AM Subject: You people have no common sense, ethics and moral standing whatsoever, in my personal opinion …

COMMENTS

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    No way...

    ...is that FoTW. It was well written, has NO CAPS ON ALL WORDS and is factually correct....

  2. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    One of Swedens *least* successful exports?

    ... A sense of humour...

  3. Code Monkey

    Smut Basket

    "sweepingly throwing a whole country in the smut-basket of TheRegister.co.uk"

    Magnificent!

  4. Adam Connelly 1
    Boffin

    Twat

    That guy is a twat.

  5. Geraint Jones
    Megaphone

    Smut-basket!

    Crikey, someone's got their knickers in a twist.

    As a side note, I didn't find the article poorly written at all.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmmm

    For someone who complains about porn references, they know a heck of a lot about the companies involved in it.

  7. Antoinette Lacroix

    You have to give it to him

    Dude surely knows a thing or 2 about Pr0n.

  8. Adrian Challinor
    Paris Hilton

    Fantastic - missed these over the last few weeks

    Can I be the first to welcome our swedish muslim non-porn fire-breathing overlords? Oh, and its a pity that techidude doesn't know how to use google, or he would have found that he spelt "Teresa Orlowski" wrong.

    Paris, because she may know more about Swedish movie making than all of us.

  9. Dave Murray
    Pint

    Not bad but...

    failed to use the proper amount of caps, exclamation marks and swearing for a true FOTW.

    "absolute lack of news value and displays the English media as an utterly poor performer in regards to research and proper ethical command"

    Sounds like the British press to me, El Reg is always much better.

  10. Scott 19
    FAIL

    Fit Birds

    And here me being English i thought that sweden only exported cuckoo clocks, didn't realise it also had blokes that like to tell the world that there country is not full of fit, blonde, women.

    Techiedude, sounds like a name my dad would make up to have a moan on the interweb, Dad is that you? Did you find your walking stick to wave at the yoof on your lawn?

  11. Jack Harrer
    Pint

    That was cool

    Brilliant letter. Best part - one sentence extrapolated to 2 page answer.

    Question: what happened Andrew? You're allowing comments being posted in your article... That doesn't happen very often.

  12. dave lawless
    Troll

    Orlowski a smut peddlar

    that's worse than being a journo !

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Him himself is obviously upset

    I myself have little sympathy for him himself as I myself have a sense of humour while he himself obviously doesn't.

    From,

    Me Myself

  14. rogueelement
    Dead Vulture

    not worthy of FoTW

    I'm with the 'this isn't a FoTW' camp.

    I'm disappointed that they have been so thin on the ground of late; either you're not upsetting people enough anymore or you're not letting us see the correspondance you receive.

    I'm off to spEakYou'rebRanes to take in some proper ranting

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    No, this is not a valid FOTW

    Not enough looney raving.

    No bizarre capitalization.

    Not nearly enough swearing.

    Almost a fact included.

    Sort of clear sentence structure.

    No threats.

    In other words, Orlowski is flaming himself to get some publicity and feel better for the week!

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Excellent letter!

    Unfortunately Techie Dude has blown my long held image of Sweden as full of fit, gorgeous women so that's my holiday there canceled then... back to the Nordic Bar for me!

    PS. Many thanks for the heads up on other sources of smut outside of El Reg - I'll be errrr "buying a present" from those sites later! Now where did I leave the privacy setting...?

  17. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
    Coat

    The Orlowski Porn Biz

    "a) Mr. Orlowski is only irritated that another company is larger than his own mothers company"

    Is that true ?

    Send us a wad of tapes / DVD's and I promise to keep my mouth shut and never mention it again.

    Mine's the one with factor 145 sun screen in the poket

  18. P Saunders
    Paris Hilton

    @dave lawless

    Actually a smut peddler is better than a journo. Have you ever tried whacking off to editorial?

    Paris, 'cause she's smutty and I'd whack off to her.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Dude, chill out

    Only one answer possible to 'techie dude'. The best way to chill out would be to sit down in front of some quality Swedish grumble flick. I always find that works for me.

  20. Mike Richards Silver badge

    How the Reg should respond

    Is that this site is the main Swedish news outlet in the UK. Never before have the British public been so well informed about the rich variety of Konungariket Sverige - and its seismic cows, faecal lagoons and pineapple mashing.

    Meanwhile, in Sweden: 'Swedish docs cleared over misplaced colon' (http://www.thelocal.se/20392/20090701/)

  21. Doorknob

    Editorial Elegance

    Wow, that guy needs to get more full stops into his expertly written response. I was out of (mental) breath by the time I'd finished reading that. Maybe its a Swedish thing...

  22. stovicek
    Linux

    Who's stereotyping who?

    For someone who was upset about being labeled as a producer of porn, he had no problem labeling all Muslims as non-blonde and non-blue-eyed. The world being what it is, I highly doubt there isn't at least one. I can only wonder how his fellow Muslim Swedes feel about being mentioned in a letter about pornography.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Undoubtable proof

    Having just returned from Stockholm, I can unequivocally confirm that Sweden is indeed full of fit blonde women, and that they are all "up for it" too. And we all know it's a small step from that to pr0n, right?

    So it must be true.

    As an aside, Paris is blonde and was "formed" in America so must also be Swedish!

  24. /dev/me
    Paris Hilton

    Very good!

    The FoTW only seemed to miss the fact that it is all a Big Conspiracy. More paranoia next time please. Still, good effort. Keep it up!

    Paris: Well, duh...

  25. Stephen Gray
    Unhappy

    Oh I see

    I have now cancelled my holiday to Sweden as it seems that it's not populated by 6' blond, blue eyed babes. How disappointing.

  26. petebog
    Thumb Up

    Best 'Yo Momma' line ever.

    a) Mr. Orlowski is only irritated that another company is larger than his own mothers company,

    Superb, just superb.

  27. Davey Bee

    Knobs

    Well, if we didn't know *before* today what a Swedish knob was like (and that's a joke in itself) we certainly do now.

  28. Stef 2
    Alert

    As a semi-Swede

    and somewhat familiar with the dry Swedish sense of humour, I suspect you might be having the piss taken out of you.

    Those crazy Swedes!

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    analysis

    Let's look at the el Reg FoTW criteria one at a time:

    1. Leave your reason at the door

    FAIL (he used some reasoning)

    2. Don't make it too long

    FAIL (it's too long)

    3. ...don't read anymore [sic] than the first paragraph

    FAIL (seems like he read the whole thing, possibly carefully or even twice)

    4. Tie in your hatreds/prejudices

    OK (he's got a problem with porn, and probably Muslims, and something Swedish)

    5. For god's sake, don't start using correct grammar

    OK (he starts off well, but deteriorates at the end)

    6. Be deeply and personally abusive to the person you're writing to

    OK (assuming Mr. Orlowski's mother doesn't actually run the porn company)

    7. don't use too many swear words.

    OK (I didn't catch anym, but I skimmed some of it)

    8. Do not reread your flame.

    OK (I'm guessing here, based on the grammar deterioration he didn't proof-read too much)

    9. Celebrate a successful flame by killing something

    OK (no idea really, but let's give him the benefit of the doubt)

    I agree with AC that the almost complete lack of ALL CAPS lends a too proper and seriously uninflamed air to the email. However, I am convinced that, were el Reg to recieve a better selection of FoTW candidates, we (the reader community) would benefit from their publication more often. As it is, I think the amateurish and constrained feel of this (surely less than ideal) FoTW is due to a lack of more suitable material to work from.

    Whether this lack is due to a sudden politeness fad, el Reg not publishing provocative enough articles, concentration of comments on Ms. Hilton or the new icons, a sudden inexplicable pandemia of sanity, or just plain reader apathy, is beyond my ability to analyze. But we are ALL to blame for not trying hard enough - a real FoTW is a work of art, and those just don't come about by chance...

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I quite liked it :)

    Such a change from the usual frothing rant.

    Go on Andy .. give us the response. I hope you are not thinking of bottling it with an apols "for any rudness I may have inadvertently caused".

  31. Jamie Kitson

    Which Region?

    Ah yes, the Moslem region.

  32. GrahamT
    Headmaster

    Written by a foreigner?

    Yet it was articulate, accurate, well-spelled and gramatically correct, all in what it appears is Technodude's second (or third?) language.

    (Shame about the missing apostrophe, but I'll put that down to a transcription error.)

    Why can't all Brits write as well as that?

    Just a couple of things to add; I've been to Sweden and there are some stunning blonde women there - but not as many as in Denmark; secondly the other Scandinavian nations laugh at Swedes because of their lack of a GSOH - much like we like to think of the Germans.

    This was demonstrated to me in a meeting in Stockholm where a single (non-British) guy around a large table shared jokes with us Brits while the rest were completely deadpan. After the meeting I discovered he was a sole Norwegian working with a large group of Swedes.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    What a cracking rant!

    Although some of Sweden's top exports of the moment do seem to be either blonde or porn-related e.g Petra Eos Marklund AKA September , a blonde Swedish dance performer or Jonas Erik Altberg AKA Basshunter, also a Swede in the dance music biz. He's not blonde but he often has Aylar Lie in his videos, an Iranian-born former porn star. She is Norwegian rather Swedish - but it's all the same over there isn't it?

  34. Joel
    Paris Hilton

    Goodbye!

    I love the "Goodbye!" at the end.. i imagine it being so cheerful and involving a smile and wave... haha.

    Paris: Because she never complains ;-)

  35. lardheppus
    WTF?

    How do I get a refund...

    ...on all my so-called Swedish Porn? I bought it thinking it was Swedish, all the blue eyed blondes and all, and it turns out most Swedes are now swarthy Middle Eastern types. Shouldn't there be truth in packaging laws on this sort of thing?

  36. Rob
    Go

    Smut Basket!!!!

    I'm appalled this hasn't been offered up as a prize yet, in fact I'm off down to wilkinsons to buy a cheap basket and fill it with smut, a wicker one me thinks or maybe plastic (i'm not sure yet).

  37. Mike Howell
    WTF?

    FLAME, CALL THIS A FLAME!!!!!!

    WTH, THIS IS NOT A FLAME. Just bechause he can typ and he can read and he tells us ther are no 6 ft blond big busted swedes in Sweden and he think heis mother is a better porn star than his mom, BAH, hes to polite!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. J 3
    Happy

    disgrace country?

    Why does porn production disgrace the country? The biggest producer in the world seems to be doing rather OK in several fronts, although things surely could be improved.

    I also wonder whether this "FoTW" is itself a joke... Poe's Law!

  39. James O'Brien
    FAIL

    Hmmm

    Nope, asmuch as I have missed the FoTW and this being the closest thing to it, I would have to say that this is not one. About the only thing it has going for it is the personal attack on Mr. Orlowski's mother. We really should stick to the rules here.

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Best FoTW yet, I'd say

    although I'm still going to stick with my assertion that Swedes are second only to South Africans on the Rudest Fuckers I've Ever Met scale, and this despite the fact that South Africans actually have a word for "sorry"

  41. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Has this chap...

    ...ever heard of the Private Media Group?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Private_Media_Group

    I suspect they moved to Spain for tax reasons.

  42. Minophis
    Happy

    I don't know...

    ..what a smut-basket is but I want one!!!

  43. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    I beg your pardon?

    I would like register a complaint. Since when has producing smut disgraced my beautiful country of Denmark? He must be Swedish alright, they get their knickers in a twist over nothing these days. Stay off the Pripps Blå and get some serious beer into your system, dude. You sound like you need it.

    @Mike Howell: Well done, that man.

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    @P Saunders

    > Actually a smut peddler is better than a journo. Have you ever tried whacking off to editorial?

    Nah but I understand many journos do (to their own)

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