back to article Nurse Lovelace gives hardened lag 55-hour stiffy

A US former convict is suing for unspecified damages after prison nurse Judith Lovelace's tender ministrations provoked a 55-hour erection which left his todger "irreparably injured", the New York Post reports. Career crim Dawud Yaduallah, formerly David Hanley, claims the unsolicited hardening happened in March 2006 at the …

COMMENTS

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  1. AceRimmer
    Joke

    Sentencing Guidelines

    Does this mean the end of stiff sentances?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Turn things around

    How about using this as standard punishment for career crims? That might make them think twice (although they often fail to even think once)

  3. scottboy
    Paris Hilton

    Medication

    "mood-stabilizing medication approved by the FDA to treat both the highs and lows of bipolar disorder" - looks like it's working on the ups and downs as well.

    Paris, as she's unfamiliar with todgers in any other condition.

  4. AM in Brussels
    IT Angle

    And?

    No mention of computers or technology.

    Slow news day?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Question

    May I be the first (and hopefully the last) to ask the obvious question? Does Nurse Lovelace have a sister called Linda?

    Paris, because she (probably) knows all there is to know about hardened todgers.

  6. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: And?

    There was no mention of African antelopes or Miley Cyrus either. What's your point?

  7. James Robertson 2
    Flame

    "Hard" Labour

    Saves on Viagra though

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lovelace ?

    Lovelace ? In anyway related to THE Lovelace ?

  9. abigsmurf

    Telling quote

    "Yaduallah's lawyer, Elmer Keach III, said: "The medical literature is clear that if you see a doctor within 24 hours, you generally won't have any permanent damage. He didn't see a doctor for over two days.""

    That's a bit like saying 'its not our fault the patient died of a heart attack caused by us giving him too much medication! He should've gone to hospital when he experienced chest pains!'. It should would've been painful and possibly required nasty surgery to correct. The fact he was a convict doesn't change anything. Last time I checked "severe mutilation" isn't a punishment you'd expect in a civilised society.

  10. The Indomitable Gall

    Re: Re: And?

    Sarah,

    Why does an article about 55 hours of "hard time" make you think of Miley Cyrus...?

  11. Iain Purdie
    Thumb Up

    Seems an idea

    Do we really want career crims breeding anyway? I know I'd gladly have given this to the little chav I lived next door to.

  12. WinHatter
    IT Angle

    caused difficulty in his marriage

    and being thrown in the joint did not cause any harm to to his marriage nor the bipolar disorder ???

    IT : Impetuous Todger . I Tresume

  13. conan
    IT Angle

    @ AM

    She's called Lovelace, that should be enough of an IT twist. Stand-up journalism if you ask me

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wilt on High

    Someone been reading Tom Sharpe?

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Perhaps we need a script that....

    ... automatically deletes the account of anyone who asks "where's the IT angle" in bootnotes..

  16. Sabine Miehlbradt
    IT Angle

    category

    Re: And?

    Well, me old sod, if there's no IT angle to an article, odds are it's in the Odds & Sods category.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Talk about

    Hard Labour...

  18. Justabloke 1

    Earl

    And I for one am thankful there is no mention of the screechy Miley Cyrus.... little disapointed about the lack of African Antelopes tho'...

  19. Maty

    Ice?

    She told him to put some ice on it? We need more detail here. Was it particularly cold outside, or does this particular prison have ice machines? Or did she offer the ice as part of the medical treatment for the condition?

    What kind of African antelopes are we talking about here?

    And who is Miley Cyrus?

  20. PPPie
    Thumb Up

    title

    With the amount of Viagra spam, I consider this story totally related to computing!!

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Odds and Sods...

    ... FTW!

    Mine's the one with "convict #...." on it.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    @Telling quote

    Way to miss the point.

    He was in prison, he couldn't just pop to the doctor's.

    He did the right thing - he went to see the prison nurse, saying he had a problem. The nurse told him to go away; it took over 2 days before she arranged for him to see a doctor. Hence the lawsuit against the nurse.

  23. Tawakalna

    hahahahahaha

    hahahahahahahahaha!

    it's so funny laughter alone is the best comment :) well done El Reg this is the sort of off-the-wall that i avidly read you for! :)

  24. Russian Monkey
    Flame

    Bi-polar

    Clearly when they said bi-polar, he was happy downstairs and unhappy upstairs.

  25. Mike Moyle Silver badge
    Coat

    Hmmm...

    "...mood-stabilizing medication approved by the FDA to treat both the highs and lows of bipolar disorder"

    Treatment for bipolar disorder -- and now his monopole isn't working either... Some days it just doesn't pay to get up... oh, wait a minute...

    ...and what was his cellmate's reaction to those 52 hours -- is he suing for damages, too?

  26. Michael 28
    Happy

    assault charges...?

    "difficulties in the marriage?" ..... I may be a bit premature in whipping this comment off the wrist, but the difficulties may have been hysterical laughter and lack of empathy of aforesaid spouse.

    Still, walking 'round a prison with a stiffie may be a health and safety issue which needs to be probed a little deeper too!

  27. hi_robb
    Paris Hilton

    That was a

    Bit of hard time for him then.

    Paris because she loves hard time

  28. proto-robbie
    Paris Hilton

    Where can I get this stuff?

    Perhaps someone will send me a pharmaceutical marketing email.

    Paris, 'cos she's never tried bipolar.

  29. Kai Lockwood
    IT Angle

    Todgers...

    It's all you Reggies really care about, isn't it?

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Penile correctional facility?

    OK OK, getting my coat already...

  31. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Happy

    "Nurse Lovelace." Hardened criminals

    Merkins.

    You could not make this up.

  32. John Macintyre
    Joke

    darwin

    at least there's no chance of further pollution of the gene pool from that direction...

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo

    55 hours

    Never enjoyed himself so much, he probably played with himself all that time as well. I mean, wouldn't you?

    Look lets be sensible, how can you have "erectile dysfunction" and at the same time "pain during intercourse "?

    Hey, no more jokes about bipolar, thats serious stuff.

  34. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Coat

    African Antelopes?

    not swallows?

    (I am not suggesting coconuts migrate)

  35. BioTube
    Boffin

    @AC 08:32

    Dysfunction is not the same as complete impotence; apparently he can rise to the occasion, but only with great difficulty and/or unpredictability.

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Maybe his report was not uncommon

    Wonder how many times some inmate has come on to the nurse with a similar complaint and asked for tender ministrations to relieve the discomfort.

    How often in porn does the plot involve a nurse and a persistent erection?

    "Go away and stick ice on it" sounds like a reasonable response.

  37. Dr O'Pfickse-Dwydth
    Joke

    Nurse Lovelace gives hardened lag 55-hour stiffy

    Since the "treatment", the title should read:

    "Nurse Lovelace gives hardened stiffy 55-hour lag"

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