back to article Brown to Sugar: 'You're hired'

Desperate PM Gordon Brown has apparently promoted Alan Sugar and told him he's hired as "Enterprise Tsar". Lord Sugar, as he will be, is already an adviser to the government and was spotted at 10 Downing Street yesterday. Sugar is the force behind Amstrad's amazing emailing telephone, but better known for his telly role on …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "and clown-faced Communities minister Hazel Blears"

    Ever since I saw her described on a political blog as "the ginger chipmunk" I have been unable to stop myself laughing when I see her picture. A disgrace to motorcyclists!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Gordon Brown has apparently knighted Alan Sugar...

    Well apart from the Queen doing the knighting, Sir Alan has been Sir Alan for quite a few years...

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ant & Dec to be "Foreign Office Czars"

    David Tennant to be "Punctuality Czar"....

    Delia Smith as "Home Secretary.."

    So we're reduced to buying celebrity endorsements now? Pitiful. Sugar is no different now than he was 2 years ago, only difference is that Brown is currently in trouble and Sugar is currently on TV.

    If someone else was big on TV right now, he'd be hiring them to get their endorsement.

  4. this

    joke?

    I find the idea almost impossible to believe but does this show that Gordon Brown actually has a sense of humour? No, surely, there must be some other rational explanation.

  5. vegister
    Stop

    don't believe the hype

    brown must be believing everything he sees on TV. first he's phoning simon cowell, then he believes that Alan Sugar runs a successful company. he might talk a good game but his money came from a rising property market rather than successful products.

    any why is sugar pinning his colours to a sinking ship? i suppose once you get the lordship then all is well.

  6. Jimmy Floyd
    Alert

    How bizarre

    I don't ever remember hearing of anyone getting back ONTO the Titantic as it sunk beneath the waves. Isn't Sir Alan brave?

    Mind you, a fiver says that David Cameron makes some dig at Brown in Parliament calling for an election "so that the British people can tell you: 'You're Fired!'"

  7. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Seems apt

    A bully who's made his fortune on the back of a crazy property market - Surullen and Brown seem like a good match for one another.

  8. James Marten
    Stop

    Er, hasn't Alan Sugar already been knighted

    in 2000?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Sparky

    That's blown Alan Sugar's street cred!

  10. n

    ahem !...

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/05/05/viglen_public_sector_contract/

  11. David Simpson
    Flame

    well proof Brown is mad if any is needed

    Shurely only a complete utter idiot would appoint that hairy fat lump of lard to any position more responsible than being nasty to masochistic reality TV dupes.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    "and clown-faced Communities minister Hazel Blears"

    I for one am glad she went - not only for her political inabilities but the fact I was actually scared by her nose.

    I wonder if a FOI request to find out what happened to it would work...

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    Amstrad suck

    Amstrad were possibly the worst manufacturer of computers in the 80s.

    I cant also recall the number of rusty amstrad satellite dishses stuck to peoples houses.

    Their set top boxes are terribly bug-ridden and everything they make feels like cheap crap.

    Sugar himself is a big tosser. Sure he made it rich, but he's a nob. Like ramsey. I would not want to work for him even if he made me a millionaire in a day. Look at me prancing around in my roller... im ere cos i know everything.

    Courtesy of wikipedia:

    Bullying

    Critics have described Sugar as "out-of-touch" and his work ethic as "a model of bad management in the UK. Negative, bullying and narrow-minded... (Sugar) rules by fear."[43] Concerns have been raised by anti-bullying charity Kidscape that "publicly humiliating" contestants on The Apprentice may give bullying credibility.[

    Yep. 100% he's a dick. He rules by intimidation and fear. One day, he's going to get a nice big off-camera slap.

    Evil jobbs cos well sugar is just more evil.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Er, hasn't Alan Sugar already been knighted

    Yes he has. That's why the article is about him recieving a lordship. They're not the same thing.

  15. Peter Ford
    Coat

    So he's been given...

    ... the Tsarship "Enterprise" ?

    Beam me up, Scotty Brown...

    Mines the one with the Tricorder in the pocket.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Amstrad MS OEM agreement ..

    http://edge-op.org/iowa/www.iowaconsumercase.org/011607/5000/PX05130.pdf

  17. Tim Brown
    Coat

    I guess that means that...

    ...we should no longer refer to Surralan but (in best Dick Van Dyke cockney) Lorblimeyalan!

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I for one...

    welcome our new cocknee barrer boy (Over) Lord

    Anybody who suggested he only took on the role in a lame duck administration for the title is a raging republican lunatic and will have their DNA taken down in evidence against them.

  19. N Silver badge

    should be

    ...and your solution was this Viglen shite?

    Your fired

  20. mitch
    Coat

    Brown Sugar

    new theme tune anyone?

  21. Richard
    Flame

    I hate him

    He's a dishonest Gerald Ratner

  22. Bernie

    re: vegister

    "brown must be believing everything he sees on TV"

    Well he does seem to watch a lot of TV. Every time there's a scandal (ross/brand) or some woman off Britain's Got Talent loses her marbles Gordo is first on the scene to spout off about how terrible it is.

    A pity he doesn't spend that time doing something worthwhile like learning how to smile properly.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Swap

    They should swap the cabinet and the big brother housemates for a better cabinet and tv.

  24. Simon Ward
    Thumb Down

    Re: Re: Ant & Dec to be "Foreign Office Czars"

    You forgot Simon Cowell as Culture Secretary ...

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Already

    too many people have already been unable to tell the difference between sound business management and televisual light entertainment, now that confusion has spread to central Government.

  26. Dave

    Apprentice Brown

    It's obvious, isn't it. Some time this week it will be necessary for Sir Alan to summon Brown to his boardroom and tell him "You're Fired". Hopefully with the TV cameras present.

  27. Steve
    Flame

    Go back and read again

    Being Knighted does indeed make you a Sir... It doesn't make you a Lord, this article was about him being "Upgraded" to Lord Sugar!

  28. John Kirkwood Silver badge

    Well, at least.....

    ....we're shot of Wacky Jacqui and the Poison Dwarf

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Stop hassling Sugar

    He may not be everyone's favourite electronics overlord but give the guy a break, he's a smart cookie.

    He was brought up in a council flat and within 20 years of starting his business, it was worth £1.2 billion.

    I was brought up in a council flat too and my business is worth diddley-fucking-squat.

    If I ever met him I would like to thank him for the Speccy+3. It might not have been the greatest computer on the planet but with a multiface3, you could save any game you liked to disk. Just think: JetPac, Attic Attack etc loading in about 3 seconds (compared to 3 minutes from tape). It was all that made 128k speccy games viable - who wants to wait 10 minutes for the fucker to load every time? Genius.

    I'm not sure why he deserves a Lordship but let's face it, if Lewis fucking Moonie deserves one then I'm pretty sure we all deserve one, even Harold Shipman.

  30. b
    Thumb Down

    Well that's just peachy

    During the worst recession in decades when unemployment is rapidly rising what better way to show how in touch you are than by bringing into government a guy famous for firing people on TV.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    What's the fuss?

    I don't know what all the fuss is about. AMS is an overpaid, limelight-seeking, has-been who has demonstrated a consistent lack of business competence over the last few years. He'll fit perfectly into this shambles of a government, and be just as effective as Enterprise Tsar (whatever that means. Hint: not much) as Gordon has been as prime minister.

  32. n
    Joke

    what a farce.lol.

    Graham Norton as Chief Whip.

    Susan Boyle to replace Harriet Harperson as Minister for Women.

    Gordon Ramsay as Minister for School Meals as Jamie Oliver is promoted to Chancellor to cook the books.

    Any other suggestions?

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    @ That Guy who's name I cant recall

    "'I'm not sure why he deserves a Lordship but let's face it, if Lewis fucking Moonie deserves one then I'm pretty sure we all deserve one, even Harold Shipman."

    All in favour of giving old Harold here a lordship?

    What with his services to the country and all?

    (The way things are going, hello obligatory gas chamber visits for anyone over retirement age, etc, etc...)

  34. DRendar
    Paris Hilton

    @ AC - Amstrad suck Friday 5th June 2009 12:52 GMT

    "I would not want to work for him even if he made me a millionaire in a day."

    Bullsh1t

    You'd suck him off in a dark alley for a million quid and you know it.

    Paris, cos she can do that to me any day.

  35. Mahesh
    Thumb Down

    Is this the same Alan Sugar who said ...

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZI9ZC-oL5KQ/SikZusDgcWI/AAAAAAAAE5Y/7jUr2qUZvZM/s1600-h/sugarletter.jpg

    What a dickhead.

  36. Richard
    Flame

    @AC Speccy +3

    Yeah, he's a technical genius, not some knob who just rebadges somebody elses crap and flogs it on for a premium </sarcasm>

    Alan Sugar is not worth respecting, the only thing he's achieved is an accumulation of wealth of the back of other people, his business 'tactic' of bullying and threats is sure to be worth something to the govt.

  37. foo_bar_baz
    Coat

    Jacqui. Brown. Sugar.

    You couldn't make it up. What's next, mr. Pink for home secretary?

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Which fool would want to work with or for Sugar ?

    We used to have what was knowable as a Government. The abandonment of managing the country by people too busy managing tabloid headlines to do this has made the whole enterprise of government indistinguishable from light entertainment.

    Not so funny when the latest communication of multiple and manifest errors and mismanagement is dumped through my doorstep by the Inland Revenue yesterday, whose systems collapsed long ago due to ill-considered initiatives and management by this bunch of soundbite artists, and I have to try to sort out the mess just enough not to be wrongfully sued. How many appeal spanners can be thrown into their dying systems causing how many years of delay preventing any of these ever being heard before we are all long dead and buried ?

  39. Richard Thomas

    Re: Stop hassling Sugar

    Wasn't the Speccy the SINCLAIR spectrum - you've got the wrong eccentric brit knight entrepreneur:

    Sir Alan Sugar: Short, dumpy, looks like Nookie the Bear, lost it and told us we all needed to buy a phone to do email.

    Sir Clive Sinclair: Tall, spindly, looks like my third year english teacher, lost it and told us we all needed to buy a 3 wheeled horizontal segway to transport ourselves around.

    HTH

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    With AMS in UK.GOV it's the begining of the End for UK plc.....

    Amstrads sucess selling cheap tat that only just met the products spec's, made in china or the philipines by slave labour. the reliability was dubious and the only thing that made the dixons group any real money was getting into bed with sky.

    The old speccy mk3 was rubbish as well, he got all the kiddy home pc fanbois to do all the styling and design in the monthly computer mags back in the early 80's then bought up Sinclair which was already on the rocks, then gutted the speccy and shoved the rotting remains inside a green block and sold it as the spectrum +3.

    if he got into power we'd all be in serious trouble, cos he'd fire everyone

    (for some Gov employees this could be seen a a good thing considering how many are not fit to hold the jobs they are in atm)

    Dont forget his favourite trick,

    He employs a high ranking specialist for business markets that he has no knowledge in, sucks all thier contacts up, sucks up all the knowledge base they have then dumps them on thier ass on the street, without so much as a thankyou......

    Gordy you have been warned......

    Your Fired.!

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Which 'B' comes next?

    We've had:

    B Liar

    then

    B Ruin

    My money's on Olox

  42. david bates

    @Stop hassling Sugar

    Try thanking Uncle Clive for the Speccy 128 - and with a Multiface you could cut the load time in half....or use a third party drive or Microdrive

    You can thank AS(s) for 3" disks (!) and the +2A - a machine that lacked both a disk drive and the ability to load from tape....

  43. John70

    Amstrad Computers

    The computers from Amstrad were

    CPC464 (Colour or Green monitor) with built in Tape Drive, 64k memory

    CPC664 as above but with built in disk drive instead of tape

    CPC6128 same as CPC664 but with 128k memory

    PCW were the business versions

    Bought out Sinclair Spectrum and rereleased it.

    Also allowing Spectrum emulator writers to use the ROMS for free.

  44. Simon C

    Despite all the negativity thrown to Sir/Lord/ Alan..

    theres one or two things thats not been taken into account.

    a) In the form of Harry Enfield - He is considerably richer than yau.

    b) he may be a bully, but sometimes thats what business needs to keep going. All the calls about his business practice and lack of business acumen seem to be based on very little.

    Last I looked Sir Alan was worth about 800 mill, with his fingers in many different pies.

    how many here can attest to such achievements?? - didnt think so.

    As for joining the labour squad, I dont think its a good move, but all the best to him.

  45. Evil Graham
    Stop

    He bought Tottenham Hotspur

    What the fuck does he know about winning?

  46. Eponymous Cowherd
    Coat

    I'm guessing....

    that Brown hasn't got an Amstrad E-m@iler

  47. Andy

    I'd like to thank Lord Amstrad

    ... for making it possible for an impoverished comp sci student to buy an IBM PC compatible (as we used to call them). Had twin 5 1/4 floppies and a choice of DR DOS+ and GEM or MS-DOS and nothing. Later I added a 20MB hard drive. That's MB as in megabytes.

    -A.

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Computers for every home?

    Yep there will be, open up that warehouse full of Amstrad 1640's. Thats one way to get rid of them.

  49. Ian Rowe
    Alert

    Re: Despite all the negativity thrown to Sir/Lord/ Alan..

    You honestly believe that everyone keeps score by the millions? I don't view 800 million as an achievement I view it as an obsession.

  50. amanfromMars Silver badge
    Alien

    Who Dares Win Wins ..... MuI7@urService ... for Dot Com Communications too

    "Last I looked Sir Alan was worth about 800 mill, with his fingers in many different pies." But is he Big in Clouds? For is that not where IT is @ ? ....... for AIVirtual Remote Governance Network InterNetworking....... Via Glens with Shady Channels and Ancient Hidden Secret Paths.

    It is certainly AIMiracle the Government Needs.

    Bombes away, Sir Alan..... Incoming ProgramMING.

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    SPEAK UP!

    I can't hear all of you over the sound of a big fucking barrel being scraped paper thin.

    A Former Labour Party member.

  52. Andus McCoatover

    SIR? Alan Sugar

    Didn'd he punch Sir Clive Sinclair in the gob once?

    Now, there's a peerage in the offing!

    (Wish I could do it to that one-eyed git in Westminister - but I think Whacky Jaqui has beaten me to it. She's got the 'Balls'. [Ed?])

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Sugar sucks! TORVALDS ROCKS!

    Alan Sugar did NOT make computers. He got rich as a shopkeeper - selling electrical goods - then hired others to make computers for him. He never created any new technology, innovated, or contributed to the computer industry. He merely jumped on the microcomputer bandwagon by throwing cash at other people; though some he screwed. Perhaps that should be most!

    Thousands of businesses fail each year, many are very well run, but still fail. Alan Sugar got lucky. Guys like him are ten a penny. Clive Sinclair, however, is the exact opposite: very intelligent and capable of designing computers himself. Linus Torvalds - not British - trumps both of these men by making a notable and LONG-LASTING contribution to the computer industry: Linux!

    I am not a "Labour" supporter, but things will just go from bad to worse (unless you're a CEO or wealthy) when the Tories win office. American voters ran to the Democrats to save them - the British are running to the Tories! How absurd and stupid can you get?

  54. A B
    Alert

    How very appropriate

    How very appropriate I am listening to Britney Spears Circus while reading this.

    Cheers from Oz. And have fun with the circus.

  55. Ally G
    Black Helicopters

    Down the pan, but clockwise or anticlockwise

    So 1992, Sir Alan says, Brown doesn't know whats he's doing and will feck it up, and now he probably thinks, shit, he really doesn't know what he's doing, and we're all going to go down the pan, who's going to fix it? We'll if you want something done well, you better bloody do it yourself, it's not like he'll be doing it for the money....... maybe.....

  56. Matthew Ellen
    Stop

    @ac 2009-06-05 20:24 GMT

    We know that on the whole the British public are stupid.

    Why else does spam work, litter line our streets, reality TV spew forth, tobacco still sell well on the high street, and Jordan seem like a good role model for kids?

    It's not because of our stellar intellect, is it?

    Generally speaking the British people are lazy when it comes to thinking. Sure many people work hard, I have no doubt about that, but working hard at tasks without any understanding of how your life affects those unrelated to you rarely produces anything more than greed and paper work.

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Of course Brown cant see which way the wind is blowing....

    HE'S BLIND FFS........

    he can;t even read the page of 48 point text that he;s holding in his right hand...

    how the hell does anyone expect him to run a 3rd world economy in that state...

    Mines the one with NuLabour stamped over a Roundel on the back and pockets lined with £50's....

  58. James Pickett

    The B-word

    "My money's on Olox"

    Excellent!

  59. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Dynamic Neural Processing with Live SemiConductor Drives. ..... Stealthy Vehicles

    "Down the pan, but clockwise or anticlockwise " .... By Ally G Posted Saturday 6th June 2009 08:00 GMT

    That would be into AI and Quantum Sink Sources, Ally G, if Sir Alan has a better bloody do it yourself , Master Beta Plan. ...... and MkUltraSensitive Sensitised, and Virtually Seeded. ....which would QuITe Naturally Control Power for Growth. ....... which is AIReal Big Holywood Picture Production. ....... and the Best of British IntelAIgents at Work, Rest and Play for Quantum Control Systems ...... AI@ ITsWork.

    And as Sweet and Sticky as Honey is that Delicate Lure Sugared. :-)

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How out of touch?

    No one likes Alan Sugar.

    And he is one of those responsible for the astronomical land prices in the UK, he is a property hoarder.

    Brown is a moron, it is like watching what would happen if the kids from special ed got to run a country.

    Sugar will just abuse his position to try and start another property bubble, and he will get out of property just before the high, and the bubble will burst again, creating even more indentured servants in the UK (debtors).

  61. elderlybloke
    Dead Vulture

    Alan Sugar in 1992 !

    To Mahesh above,

    Fancy Sir/Lord Sugar saying that . Gordon had better not be reading this site , or it will be the chop for Alan.

    He could (he could as usual) like politicians say" I was misquoted".

  62. Ascylto

    Suggestions ...

    George Clooney as Health Minister and,

    Lady Penelope at Transport!

  63. peter ashworth

    Amstrad was worthless in my honest opinion

    ever wonder why Amstrad is not a major player in the computer business??

    both the hardware and the software were absolute RUBBISH!!

    in my honest opinion Sugar should have been arrested at the time for selling sub-standard goods

    the OS was nonsensical tosh

    he admitted later he did not really know what he was doing but he could work out that if he bought various components and fitted them in a box he could make a profit

    and boy, did he!!

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