back to article Debbie Gibson battles Mega Shark and Giant Octopus

Stuff Terminator Salvation and Star Trek, this is what true sci-fi movie buffs have been waiting for: A titanic struggle for control of the world's oceans between a Mega Shark and a Giant Octopus, witnessed by the decorative Debbie Gibson: Terrific. In case you were wondering, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is helmed by Jack …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    We will be Gods on Nite Flights

    Wouldn't it be great if the giant octopus' tentacles were anacondas? And if the mega shark was being ridden by one of the apes from Congo, or a Sea Devil?

    My bet is on the octopus, because octopuses can carry guns. Where would an octopus get hold of a gun? A gun shop, obviously.

  2. Les Matthew
    Thumb Up

    I'm with you on the

    last paragraph.

    Just LOL.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    wow

    thats' the most awsome b-movie trash I've seen for sometime, I must see it.

    Of course I vote for the octupus, they get all the best girls.

  4. Dave
    Thumb Up

    Debbie Gibson

    Woohoo! Debbie Gibson! It's sure to be a hit.

  5. Ian Ferguson
    Thumb Up

    The Asylum is awesome

    Check out their other films. They're so hilariously bad they're great. Most of their films are cunningly titled to coincide with mainstream Hollywood films coming out at the same time... eg.

    'The Terminators' (released recently as Terminator Salvation comes out)

    'Sunday School Musical' (released at the same time as High School Musical 2)

    'Snakes on a Train' (I'll give you one guess)

    Seriously, download one of these, and make sure you have LOTS of beer and a good sense of humour handy.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    OMFG!!!

    I didn't think movies could get better than Zombie Strippers - but this is too exciting for words!

    I peed a little when I watched that trailer I was so excited.

    Bit lo-brow for you Mistress Bee?

  7. Robert Ramsay
    Thumb Up

    Maybe...

    he should rename his company "WTF Films, Inc."

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Heart

    Mmmm Deb Gibson

    My money is on the octopus. Plus I'm sure there is nasty Japanese PrOn remake in there some where....

  9. Kev K
    Thumb Up

    WOW. I am booking tickets

    for that today :)

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Is it wrong of me..

    ..to really want to watch this?

  11. William Boyle

    Into the Annals of B-Movie Classics

    OMG!!! Just from the trailer, I can see that this one will be going into my classic SciFi B-movie collection. ROFL! Definitely belongs with the like of I Married A Monster From Outer Space!

  12. Paul C. Hartley
    Unhappy

    All very good but...

    All very good but I didn't see no fricking lasers attached to the fricking sharks head.

    I want sharks with fricking lasers on their fricking heads!

  13. Smallbrainfield
    Thumb Up

    I bet that

    all the CGI in the film is in the trailer. It is preposterously good trailer though.

  14. Bassey

    Lets face it

    It can't be any worse than the constant torrent of sewage emanating from Hollywood for the last 10+ years (Coen Brothers and "There will be Blood" excepting).

  15. Marvin the Martian
    Flame

    I'm with ferguson

    This article really needed an explanation of Asylum's modus operandi, namely to look at an upcoming big-budget film, and quickly make a film with vaguely the same topic and 95% of the title.

    Sadly they're not that exceedingly bad that it's cult.

  16. Nicholas Ettel

    @Ashley

    The octopus would definitely not win if the mega shark had a laser, obviously. And if the octopus's tenticles were anacondas, how would it hold the guns AND pull the trigger?

    And... seriously... did you just say "octopuses?" That's horrible.

  17. Osiris

    One question..

    Does the shark have a laser on its head?

  18. The Jase

    Shark with laser

    To all those who have asked about a laser with the shark...

    Yes it does have one, in the last clip, its jumping to catch the Boing ABL.

  19. bob

    awesome

    A frickin jet gets eaten by a frickin shark. IN MID AIR!!! How did no-one think of this before now? Spielberg must be sick as a dog for missing this one.

    @Bassey - you're banned from this section for trying to make a serious comment about a film like this.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Calling the Boeing eye in the sky ray gun!!!!!

    Giant flying shark sighted - target acquired, COIL laser ready . . . FIRE!

    BOOOOOMMMM!!!!! Instant sushi.

    Giant octopus located, tell the 60 foot radioactive armored killer spider cannibals from the frozen north, hey guys, free lunch this way!!!!

    Burp.

    Sorted.

    Just in time for the commercial.

    Now to sleep, perchance to dream . . . ;-)

  21. M7S
    Coat

    I preferred Tifanny

    In the '80's pop princess wars.

    I know I'm alone know.

  22. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    maybe some truth in the rumours

    from a while back that DG was pregnant with a two-headed love child...

  23. raving angry loony

    V4 night!

    Damn. That's a movie that's definitely on the bill for my "Vile Video Viewing Vednesdays".

  24. Bill Cumming
    Pirate

    Where's it showing!!!...

    I'll be there!!!

    my 2 fave secret vices in one Movie....

    1) Asylum films

    2) Deborah (Debbie) Gibson!!

    Shwing!!!

  25. DZ-Jay

    Re: The Asylum is awesome

    And lets not forget the recent classics:

    I Am Omega - (to coincide with "I Am Legend", which remakes the sci-fi classic "The Omega Man")

    Alien vs. Hunter - (for "Alien vs. Predator")

    Transmorphers - (for "Transformers")

    On titles alone, they have my vote!

    -dZ.

  26. Martin Lyne

    IT RISES!

    This actually looks bloody great. At least worth a comeback for MST3K (unless it actively self-parodises)

  27. Doug
    Thumb Up

    wow. just wow....

    talk about jumping the shark! =)

  28. Chris
    IT Angle

    Octopuses/Octopi

    Actually:

    "There are three forms of the plural of octopus; namely, octopuses, octopi, and octopodes. Currently, octopuses is the most common form in the US as well as the UK; octopodes is rare, and octopi is often objectionable.[25]

    The Oxford English Dictionary (2004 update[26]) lists octopuses, octopi and octopodes (in that order); it labels octopodes "rare", and notes that octopi derives from the mistaken assumption that octōpūs is a second declension Latin noun, which it is not. Rather, it is (Latinized) Greek, from oktṓpous (ὀκτώπους), gender masculine, whose plural is oktṓpodes (ὀκτώποδες). If the word were native to Latin, it would be octōpēs ('eight-foot') and the plural octōpedes, analogous to centipedes and mīllipedes, as the plural form of pēs ('foot') is pedes. The actual Latin word is "polypus," which does render the plural "polypi." In modern Greek, it is called khtapódi (χταπόδι), gender neuter, with plural form khtapódia (χταπόδια).

    Chambers 21st Century Dictionary[27] and the Compact Oxford Dictionary[28] list only octopuses, although the latter notes that octopodes is "still occasionally used"; the British National Corpus has 29 instances of octopuses, 11 of octopi and 4 of octopodes. Merriam-Webster 11th Collegiate Dictionary lists octopuses and octopi, in that order; Webster's New World College Dictionary lists octopuses, octopi and octopodes (in that order).

    Fowler's Modern English Usage states that "the only acceptable plural in English is octopuses," and that octopi is misconceived and octopodes pedantic."

    Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Octopus#Terminology

  29. Les Matthew

    @Paul C. Hartley

    "I want sharks with fricking lasers on their fricking heads!"

    That shark don't need no frickin lasers.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The only sad thing about this movie

    is that in watching the trailer, you've probably now seen all the best bits

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Now there is a winner

    Giant Octopus, Mega Shark, Debbie Gibson, AND Lorenzo Llamas. I'm in awe and shall be waiting anxiously for it's release, so much so I may need a bit of lie down.

  32. Aaron

    Holy wow

    "It can't be any worse than the constant torrent of sewage emanating from Hollywood"

    Yes it can. Oh, yes it can. Watch the trailer, y'all. I can't decide whether the live-action bits or the CGI bits look worse. This is the kind of movie the demons make you watch in hell.

  33. Brock Knudsen
    Thumb Up

    you can tell she's serious

    Deborah is obviously getting serious about her film career and shedding her "little girl" pop star alter ego. Now dress her in a trench coat and have her wear glasses... Instant nuclear physicist.

  34. Aaron

    Debbie Gibson vs Tiffany

    Fight Fight Fight

  35. Big Bear

    So excited, BUT

    In amongst my excitement a few questions come to mind.

    1. I see Iowa class battleship. Battleship has a kitchen. Kitchen needs a chef. Where is Seagal?

    2. What's the love interest? Ah-hah - Debbie Gibson you say. Sequel I say: BABY HALF SHARK HALF OCTOPUS vs (anyone)!!!

    3. According to the other posters above, if Asylum vaguely copy real Hollywood films, then what is this particular movie based on?!?!?!?!

  36. Stuart Duel
    Thumb Up

    I had to look...

    ...and I'm glad I did. I haven't laughed so hard for quite some time.

    If the trailer had shown any more of that awesomely b-grade action I would have wet myself! That movie is hysterically bad!!

    When does it open?

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Biologist chicks

    They could have used CGI to make the biologist chick look more realistic. All the real ones are stud-nosed dungaree wearers that you wouldn't want to shag with the beeriest of goggles.

    [Better post AC]

  38. Twm Davies

    Wonderfully high concept

    Just add a squid to this photo and you have the movie:

    http://www.hoax-slayer.com/images/shark-helicopter.jpg

  39. Mat
    Black Helicopters

    The question is...

    Will there be a helicopter with a man on a rope scene with a suspension bridge in the background?????

  40. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

    "We're dealing with a menace"

    Now THERE'S a scriptwriter who was paying attention during the soryboarding session.

  41. Toastan Buttar
    Thumb Up

    See the late Bill Hicks...

    ...for an epic battle between Debbie Gibson and Jimi Hendrix's knob.

  42. TeeCee Gold badge
    Happy

    @Chris

    Thank you very much for that. Comprehensive, well-researched, serious and educational. So it looks in place here in the same way that a tray of pork pies and sausage rolls does at a Jewish wedding.

    "........and octopodes pedantic."

    So, "octopodes" for me from now on then.

  43. Daniel Wilkie

    @Chris

    Go and do detention - you just used Wikipedia as a primary source AND to prove your point.

    Also, this film looks awesome - but what's this I hear about a Lesbian subplot in Transmorphers?

  44. weirdcult
    Stop

    we are dealing with a menace...that rises

    can't.........stop......watching.......trailer..........again......and.........again

  45. jai

    @ Smallbrainfield

    i recon you are quite correct sir

    seems to film is available via the nefarious parts of teh interwebz and a look a thumbnail preview image of the film shows 20 still images taken spaced evenly throughout the film - only the 19th one shows a bit of shark - no sign of the octopus though

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Tail Sting

    No movie about mutant animals can possibly be as good as Tail Sting.

    It has giant scorpions. Sorry, did I say "giant" scorpions - they change size from scene to scene.

    It's so bad that it's impossible to stop watching - especially once you've noticed the boom mic. (and the boom mic operator wearing white shorts, centre screen in a blackened room).

    The best film I'll ever see, no doubt about it!

    Now, if only Debbie Gibson was in it...

  47. Montague Knightley
    Heart

    I think i'm in love with the movie

    ......it had me at 'hello' ..

  48. Dave The Cardboard Box
    Paris Hilton

    I fail to see the difference...

    between this and the steaming piles of kack that the US majors release. "X-Men Origins - Wolverine" - didn't Napoleon Dynamite kill him in Alaska because he was attacking his cousins?

    Paris because all she needs is a good part to produce an amazing performance.

  49. Chris

    Oh god.....

    @TeeCee

    hehe - good point. I must be losing the tentative grip I <strikethrough>have</strikethrough> HAD on reality.

    @Daniel Wilkie

    Oh crap. I did, didn't I. That's a pretty poor show. Disregard all of it. As we all know EVERYTHING is wrong on Wiki. NO EXCEPTIONS. In fact the mere act of posting something on Wiki makes it not true - FACT. If anyone posts certain bits of physics on there, the world will shoot off into space, we'll all float away, boiling seas, the works. IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO STOP WIKI.

    ---

    Oh, and BTW - 1 free internets to anyone who can find out the collective noun for a group of octopodes. Or indeed for any cephalopods. There doesn't seem to be one!

    (Octopus is technically the collective noun for a load of octopus meat, but that doesn't count)

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