back to article Number 10 doubles as 'House of Flying Nokias'

Gordon Brown earned a place alongside the likes of Naomi Campbell today, when a financial newswire claimed that the PM likes to vent his frustration on pieces of personal technology. The report on Bloomberg claims that the PM's current travails - worst recession since the war, smeary email scandal, sinking poll numbers - have …


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  1. Anonymous Coward


    Can someone please arrange a match between our beloved leader and a certain chair-throwing Ballmer? That would be worth watching, especially if it was to the death (either or both, who cares).

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Just what we need

    as our leader. A twat that can't control his temper.

  3. Ozwadi Ogolugi


    Soon as Labour get thrown out of No 10 the better!!!

  4. SuperTim

    If he's not careful......

    He'll have someone's eye out!!!!!!

    Mine's the one with the Jeremy Clarkson print on it.

  5. Richard


    The country is in recession because GB breaks so much crap and then claims it on expenses

  6. Anonymous Coward

    Prime Minister Ballmer?

    ...or just Ballsup?

  7. Kevin

    Gallows humor


    Now there's a thought that stimulates the "green shoots of recovery" in my soul!

  8. Steve Kay


  9. Trygve Henriksen

    He's not angry...

    He's just trying to hide that he's in training for the next world championship in mobile phone throwing...

  10. Niall

    Hold still

    I don't have good depth perception.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wouldn't lose too much sleep over the printer

    as it was probably an elderly Laserjet 3 and ready to meet its maker, its span on this Earth complete

  12. Brian Morrison



    ...but so very cruel :(

  13. The BigYin
    Thumb Down

    If that is true...

    ...that's it assault. Where are the police?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    You're a bad, bad, cruel, harsh and unfair person. But bloody funny.

  15. Aaron

    "not an account I recognise"

    Which as we all know is political for "yes he absolutely does behave like that but I would lose my job and end up eating catfood if I said as much to a journalist".

  16. RichyS
    Thumb Down

    So this explains... Darling is going to save all that public sector cash. He's going to confiscate the PM's gadgets. A straightjacket might be more effective though.

    @Niall: you owe me a coffee and a new keyboard.

  17. Steve Evans

    should be safe...

    Given his monocular vision, I would image his depth perception to be particularly weak and trajectory calculations inaccurate... Hell, his calculations would be inaccurate anyway, look at the economy!

    Mine's the one with the yellow builders hat (can't be too careful).

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    I like it

    Not a major Brown fan but I like it that the boss-man has some passion. So what if he brains a few flunkies? There's loads more waiting in the wings.

  19. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
    Anonymous Coward


    A standard feature at American fairs of various sorts is a seat over a water tank, with a trigger connected to a target. For some price you get to throw a softball or several at the target; with a solid hit, the seat gives way, and the sitter--a teacher, a clown, etc.--drops into the tank.

    I'm guessing the American summers are better suited to this sort of thing than the British, but why not arrange that the sitter wear a Gordon Brown mask, and replace the softballs with cell phones or replicas of same? They might be harder to throw accurately, and you might need to adjust the trigger or weight the phone, but it should be manageable.

  20. Trygve Henriksen

    @AC:re: Laser

    It can't have been an old LJ III as they were not only too heavy to push off the table in a fit of rage, but there's also the fact that those things are almost indestructible.

    A fall of a couple feet would barely scratch the outside!

    HP has never - with the possible exception of the LJ4si - built a more solid printer...

    Which is kind of sad, when you think about it...

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    @ AC - Laserjet 3's

    Mock not - these have to the be shining example of when HP actually built proper printers, not modern cheap sh*te, built with parts from all the lowest bidders.

    Roll on the holocausts, the now super-intelligent coachroaches will still be using these to print their CV's long after we're all converted ash or compost. They won't get their CV's very quickly mind you...they weren't the fastest lasers, even in their hayday. But they'll still be running.

    And unless the coachroaches learn to retro-fit forklifts, they won't be moving them much either. These babies were *heavy*.

  22. Anonymous Coward


    The man has a monstrous ego and wants to control everything at every level. He would prefer to reduce the British populace to bartering for scraps in a post economic nuclear wasteland, as long as he retained the power that he craved for decades.

    We will all shiver and die under his lidless and unrelentless monocular gaze and dodgy bogey eating grin.

  23. This post has been deleted by its author

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What are the alternatives?

    People-centric (and battered for it)


    misanthropic (and emotive 'crush' for it)


  25. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Naomi Campbell

    So Brown is in competition with Naomi Campbell is he? Should be good viewing to see him strutting down the catwalk wearing high heels then.

    However that's quite an insult to our Naomi and I'm ashamed of The Register for daring to suggest that she and Gibbo the clown can be compared. She could always be useful for other purposes, and I sure as hell wouldn't want to use Gibbo the clown for those purposes!

    Paris because she deal with other purposes too.

  26. N Silver badge

    What a knob

    Not only is he incompetent, but cant control his own frustration at his inability to do the obvious & hand in his resignation.

  27. Columbus

    ColorLaserjet 5m

    I think it would have to be a color printer - need the red for the treasury printouts....

    If he could push a 5M off the desk then I for one would welcome our superstrong overlord

  28. Winkypop Silver badge

    Criminal damage

    That's public property he's destroying there!

    Hang him high!

  29. Alan Brown Silver badge


    HP used to build great gear, but sadly the Laserjet3 wasn't one of those pieces.

    It and most of the other Laserjets were rebadged Canon kit (most still are).

    Still... if GB can push one around, he's stronger than he looks.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re fundraiser

    "wear a Gordon Brown mask"

    Why not let Gordon Drown sit there himself and replace the water tank with a deep void and a concrete floor. I certainly would spend my mobile... Is it fair? Yes, because there's a chance (read: risk) that no one will hit the target. (And is it fair that someone who digged the grave for the British economy as Chancellor is now PM?)

  31. Youngdog

    After watching In The Loop...

    ..and seeing what spin doctors do to fax machines this seems tame. Would any psychologists out there reading El Reg care to offer any insight on what this behaviour suggests is going on in the old broon noggin?

    My take is that either he is frustrated at himself for not being able to express his feelings in words or he is frustrated with other people for not thinking/behaving 'on his level'.

    These arslikkers at No. 10 with Nokia shaped bruises on their heads may be the lowest of the low but if a husband did this to his spouse (or vice versa) it would be domestic abuse.

    This should not be taken lightly

  32. Oz

    @ laserJet3

    " HP used to build great gear, but sadly the Laserjet3 wasn't one of those pieces.

    It and most of the other Laserjets were rebadged Canon kit (most still are).

    Still... if GB can push one around, he's stronger than he looks."

    Don't be silly - he just put his weight behind it!

  33. Anthony Green

    Hovis recalled

    Don't just say "Brown" say "Hopeless" ---> whilst this originally referred to "George Brown" is so well fits the wowster at Number 10 right now!

  34. Youngdog
    Thumb Up

    Hooray! Private Eye day!

    New issue has a great quote from Gordon Brown on page 3 regarding the email smear scandal.

    "I take full responsibility for what happened. That's why the person who was responsible went immediately"

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