back to article Jamaica cracks down on 'daggering' after broken todger upswing

Jamaican doctors have warned of the dangers of daggering, after being presented with a forest of fractured penises over the last year. According to reports, daggering appears to be either a bizarre sexual practice or a music and dance craze. Or possibly both at the same time, if these videos are any thing to go by. Either way …

COMMENTS

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  1. nigel
    Unhappy

    what i want to know...

    The videos are all well and good. i know what it is now, but i want to know is...

    ...how you get into that position in the first place

  2. MnM

    no pain no gain!

    'Welcome to Jamaica, h-...'

    oof

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Goodness Gracious !

    My word, one would have to be an utter bludclaat to engage in such outrageous behavior.

  4. Richard
    IT Angle

    Well done.

    Fantastic, my brain was telling me you can't make fun of peoples accents like that!

    Then I followed the link and found it was a quote, so it must be okay. At least in jamaica they haven't started brainwashing people into political correctness like they clearly have here (case in point, myself reading this article and my brain telling me it was bad, albeit funny)

    (Obligatory IT? icon)

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Jamaica star

    Man, that's a priceless news paper..

    heh.

    Go read the Help me Pastor sections.!!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Interesting collective noun

    "Forest of Fractured Penises"

    Genius.

    We need a coffeed keyboard icon.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sounds a bit like potential rape?

    Point and Dagger?

  8. Andus McCoatover
    Coat

    Too obvious!

    <<There is a loud popping sound, excruciating pain and swelling>>

    Doctor, doctor! Can you take away the pain, but leave the swelling??

    -Gorrit.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    IT relevance?

    Perhaps this story should have been run under Hardware?

    (Mine's the cloak... and dagger)

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Translation?

    Please?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    streuth

    Within a month this'll be the next big thing for kids over here.

    Bloody eejat bwois.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Richard

    "myself reading this article" Pfffft!

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Looking for a word

    I think there's a name for the style of having sex in which you pull the penis right out before each thrust. Can anyone remember what it is? Apparently it's not "daggering". (It's fun, but if you do it too fast or too roughly then you could injure yourself when you miss the target.)

    If you're going to simulate rough sex on the dance floor I'd definitely recommend not having an erection at the time. Have real sex a few times just beforehand, perhaps? Or is there a kind of antiviagra one could take?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ROFL

    This is the funniest thing I've read in years! Other people in the office have noticed my failed attempts to hide my amusement and are about to ask what the funny thing is.

    Should I own up and tell them I'm laughing at the idea of Jamacan Guys "Daggering" people with their cocks? I haven't even watched the videos, I daren't.

  15. Steve

    Jive

    Me no speaks "Jive" Man

  16. Sabine Miehlbradt
    Happy

    NSFW

    Thank gods I'm alone in the office. I hope I can get that grin of my face by the time I get home. My s/o tends to misinterpret it and I don't want to laugh when he does.

    How stupid can you get? Talk about your brains in your britches peeping out.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    also known as

    Tantric?

  18. Steve
    Thumb Up

    OMG!

    The Pastor rocks! El Reg should have him write a column!!!

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    he's lucky

    He only got his lip bit and nothing else broken off. All i can think is NSFW based on the headline and I can't take that risk. Their stupid behaviour will just be my guide.

  20. Kevin Reader
    IT Angle

    Jamaican ---.

    About the very Jamaican Quote. I trust that the quote marks are true and honest since otherwise you are going to made to be very sorry by someone.... Also could we have version with really clear english sub-titles like on an old documentary, as my brain lost it about half way through. I'm not sure you can reliably parse Jamaican without using a 'special' cigarette.

    Something like: "The organiser suggested that we rapidly find a partner and participate very enthusiastically in the dance.....".

    @Steve - haven't looked yet - daren't! At a guess though - we don't really know who writes these things.

  21. Stratman

    Darwin?

    Is this an example of natural selection? If it is, which gene is being removed?

    And 20+ posts on a todger tale without our favourite heiress getting a mention. Is this a record?

  22. Elmer Phud
    Happy

    What do you mean 'translation'

    I had no problem in reading the statement from the affected complainee.

    It's in English, not much different from if an Essex or Manchester person was being reported properly as there would still be complaints abaht not reedin it right.

    The man says he was encouraged by the DJ to thrust his genitals at female members of the audience. The chosen femal objected at his rather forward suggestion and instead of the expected willingness to comply with his wishes, bit his lip instead. She did not, however, release her grip on his lip, despite his pleading. hwen he called to nearby onlookers for assistance they were reluctant to come to his aid.

    Me, I prefer the original version - it's shorter.

  23. Random Noise
    Coat

    With such a graphic description of the pain...

    ...Jamaican me wince.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We're all going to jail for this

    Presumably we'll all now get done for imagining a form of sexual behaviour that may cause injury. Thanks El Reg, see you in broadmoor.

  25. Codge
    Joke

    @ Looking for a (s)word

    > Or is there a kind of antiviagra one could take?

    Try drawing a mental image of our beloved second home secretary, that should do the trick!

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    But surely

    I'm no medic, but wouldn't it be more like an internal haemorrhage than a fracture?

    I'll have to go now, my eyes are watering too much...

  27. Adam Williamson
    Stop

    @Richard

    That's not an 'accent' (journalistic convention is to render all accents into the conventional written form of whatever language is being spoken), it's Jamaican patois, which is generally recognized as a language in itself, or at least a very distinct dialect of English, and usually rendered in its own written form in the local press - as seen here (the Reg is just quoting the Jamaica Star).

  28. Mike
    Stop

    I couldn't ...

    read that article without cringing - twice as a matter of fact.

  29. James O'Brien
    Coat

    What about compound fractures?

    "Jamaican doctors have warned of the dangers of daggering, after being presented with a forest of fractured penises over the last year."

    After the initial ow factor this had me in stitches...Hope no one has a compound fracture of the penis....

    /Yes yes Im going

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    anti horn

    [quote] Or is there a kind of anti viagra one could take? [/quote]

    you just need to keep this image in your head for such occasions....

    http://tinyurl.com/cuz3d9

  31. DrewHew
    Flame

    Which idiot...

    wrote this?????

    Jah know!!! Everytime unnu write some foolishness like this mi vex!!!!!!

    Penile appendages are muscles and blood vessels - they cannot be fractured!!

    As for 'daggering' - I don't know what to say...we come up with the weirdest 'dances'. Please DO NOT TRY THIS @ HOME!!! :} Stick to the 'gully creepa'

  32. 4.1.3_U1
    Dead Vulture

    6+ month old story

    The date of the Jamaica Star story is 9 October 2008 - why are we getting such old news?

  33. Henry Wertz Gold badge

    For that won't watch the video...

    Well, it basically looks like "grinding" to me. So, the chicks first were standing alone thrusting their hips, sticking their butts out (no, not bare...) and such. The guys walk up a few minutes into the vid REALLY grinding and thrusting away. It looks like they could be shagging right on the dance floor except the guys did not unzip their flys. I could easily see someone breaking their wang like that... what a shame, although I must admit I'd probably laugh if it didn't happen to me.

  34. Fred Weiner

    maybe hurts, but broken?

    The human penis has no bone. Nothing to fracture. Sure, it can be bruised, painfully, but there's nothing to break.

  35. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

    @DrewHew

    "Penile appendages are muscles and blood vessels - they cannot be fractured!!"

    Although no bone is involved, "penile fracture" is the term generally used by urologists to describe traumatic rupture of the tunica albuginea/corpus cavernousm. And (if you exclude the smooth muscle fibres in the blood vessel walls) there isn't any muscle in a penis either - after all, without bone, to what would they be attached?

  36. Daniel Wilkie
    Thumb Up

    Pastor

    Can I cast another vote for a guest column from the Pastor?

    Preeeeety pleeeeaase!

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh come on people

    Me: Well I daggered her on the dance floor

    You: Jamaica

    Me: Yes, because if I didn't she'd bite my lip

  38. This post has been deleted by its author

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Paris Icon not working?

    Or is it not relevant?

  40. Juan Inamillion
    Joke

    Am I the only one?

    To to think the title is a double entendre "Jamaica cracks down..." <fnarr fnarr!>. No? Must be just me then...

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