Procrastinate on internet, Tomorrow's Saturday
Any way this poll clearly tells you more about you readers than your site... BOFH all the way...
These are tough times for news media, on and offline. Small newspapers are going titsup all over the shop, hundreds of blogs are discovering there's no money in "link journalism", and many at the UK nationals spend their time copying out each other's work and trawling the web for pictures of cutesy animals. All the while, El …
i'm all for free speech and all, but i would love to know the justification of some of the comments this site has had. 'loner twats'? and for that matter... "anything to get clicks", same could be said that a transvestite is just wanting attention.
i cannot wait for what the daily mail has to say...
I want to click about 7 of these, and at least 3 don't fit (so all of the above isn't good either).
Given that these are not mutually exclusive (i.e. your readership could see you as an unethical, comically angry, online lesbian magazine website), I think you need to use checkboxes instead of radiobuttons to get a better and more concise survey ^H^H^H^H^H^H ^H^H^H ^H^H^H^H ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H ^H^H^H^H^H^H (sorry, forgot we're in Web 2.0 now) richer and more compelling experience.
And you forgot to add the Paris Hilton fan club website choice...
"Functionally an ad-banner trolling site who will publish any rubbish if it'll get clicks, and best ignored. (Senior Wikipedian David Gerard)"
Well, I've never clicked an ad. After years of internet exposure, my retinas and brain filter out adverts on websites. And judging by the decline in pay-per-click, so has everyone else's retinas and brains.
I find it amusing that Mr Gerard makes that comment considering the amount of unsubstantiated and inaccurate one-sided gumpf on Wiki. (Okay, okay, so they have cleaned up their act of late).
Biting the long tail that feeds Web 2.0
Unashamed that the Daily Mail called them respected
Unashamed that the Grauniad calls them ever-excellent
A site full of scurrilous children's toy-abusing vapid heiress-obsessed [MS|Apple|O'Reilly's bunch of badgers|Sadville|Jimbo Wales' clique of "experts"|Edit this description]-baiting memoclastic climactic sceptical articles and not enough BOFH.
And everyone else goes for the lesbian thing (do you mean the people on the island of Lesbos, or those girls that like to touch other girls in the no-no place(s)*?).
Why isn't there a 'More interesting than most other sites' option...
PH - is she from Lesbos?
*The 'no-no' place(s) can quickly become 'yes-yes' places if touched in a certain way. Be warned people!
Having this poll up and being able to select 'Lesbians' was never a good idea, it's fortunate you aren't rebranding, otherwise you'd be well on the way to being one of the most read Lesbian periodicals ever.
I for one salute our El Reg overlords for always bringing something funny and informative to the desk each day.
And as for The Daily Phail, ODFO.
Scandal-mongering sweatshop where wannabe technology journalists are expected to file numerous stories each day regardless of whether they know what they are talking about (but nevertheless achieving a pretty good success rate) run by people whose utter cynicism towards the powers-that-be in the technology industry is a refreshing change from most other sources and whose sense of humour - while not to everyone's taste - makes for a likeable and readable (if often not spellchecked) online magazine for nerds and Paris Hilton watchers of all ages, most of whom are savvy enough never to click on a banner-ad (which begs the question "how does The Register cover its costs?").
"Ms Kiss's studies in visual performance at Dartington College of Arts in Devon provided her with the core skills of observation and expression needed for journalism..."
So she's qualified (barely) to talk about the readers of El Reg. Guardian Unlimited indeed.
Jemima Kiss, I'll just give it a miss. I'm a poet and I know it. Only on Fridays after a visit to the pub though.
"Why there are no comments permitted alongside the highly dubious "if you use the pirate bay you are supporting a Neo-Nazi" article?"
Because it's an Andrew Orlowski article and he's always wrong but doesn't like to hear it so doesn't have comments enabled on his articles. If you check most of his controversial articles you'll find the same. This is undoubtedly where the Wikipedians comment about The Register being a click-whoring troll site comes from because he does produce an awful lot of trolls and then prevent people pointing out how factually incorrect he nearly always is. I mean, this is a guy that thinks that 3 out of 5 selected Japanese scientists = nationwide consensus. His comment policy is in contrast to say Lewis Page, who is still nearly always wrong, but credit to the guy he at least gives you chance to point out why in the comments.
But anyway, your post distracted me from what I was going to point out here. The Daily Mail comment is perhaps more telling than many may think. The Register itself has been guilty of slagging off the Daily Mail but in recent years it's become so similar in style it's no suprise the Daily Mail has praised it.
I think the Daily Mail praising The Register says more about what it's become than it is a compliment, it's effectively official recognition by the Daily Mail itself that The Register has become as shit as it is.
Still, The Register has one thing going for it- it does at least break some stories, it's just a shame that when it does it doesn't break them in a manner that's useful reading. It at least gives you an overview of the breaking news though even if the substance is like a big steamy pile of horse turd though.
If only there was some care at The Register to return back towards it's roots, the distinction between it and a collection of personal blogs of clueless trolling teenagers is shrinking daily.
.....and nothing posted from Sarah Bee?
(this is my social experiment to see whether the lesbian-loving pizza-eating geeks that we all are now assume that Sarah's a lezza)
((that's also not to say that Sarah's not a lezza))
(((also there's nothing wrong with being a lezza, Sarah)))
((((does anyone bar me find this juvenile shit funny?))))
Free psychoanalytic therapy for us cross-pondians (ameritards) who either lack health insurance or whose health insurance frowns upon such mentally theraputic modalities even if the working environment that provides the insurance is also the impetus for the necessity of these treatments causing the employees to resort to amusing themselves with witty-banter from trans-pondian (brittards) reporters and moderators who must be doing something right as their workday always seems to end five hours earlier than ours as well as writing long winded run-on sentences in venting postings as our only output for our frustrations.
IT? because I need an ODFO for my job.
Penis size mostly, women did not have time to argue they were too busy being forced to bake pies and retrieve cheezos.
But nobody cares what you think. They probably care even less then they care about what Anon thinks becouse you just arn't as interesting or clever.
"How about you do actually rebrand, 'Biting the lesbian that fists IT" Fix'd
...my only beef with El Reg is the distressing number of climate-change trolls stories. Although I profoundly disagree with them, I will give Messrs. Orlowski and Page credit in that I don't think they write stuff up purely for the page views; I think they really mean it. (Maaaan.) I still believe they're utterly utterly wrong, but that's not a crime. Yet ;)
I've only been reading el reg on a regular basis for the past few months (mostly since the phucking phorm thing came out) and I have to say that on an average day, el-reg puts out at least one story to fit one of the above catorgories, and in a few number of stories, ALL of them.
There's no mention of the comments section being removed from the latest Phorm report. I do hope El Reg isn't getting cold feet after all the good work it's done exposing (what I believe to be) the illegal, invasive and unnecessary privacy invasions promised by Phorm.
Come to think of it, Andrew Orlowski's latest piece lacks a comments page too.
Being Friday, the sponsor for the great BOFH. Look, it is the only reason I started reading ElReg. Of course the wonderful content is the reason now. I often surprise my wife when she reads articles in the Wall Street Journal about technology, and I tell her the whole story.
So, El Reg is one of the best sources for tech news. The bonus is that we can comment on the articles like this one.
"Why there are no comments permitted alongside the highly dubious "if you use the pirate bay you are supporting a Neo-Nazi" article?"
Didn't you notice this bit, just below the Subject?
"And the strange silence of the Freetards"
It's a vast conspiracy! THEY ARE KEEPING US QUIET!!!!!!1!!one!!1!eleven!!!
It has to be asked - what ever did you do to Jemima. Is it stereotyping tech-able people or what? Discrimination by the Guardian - a remarkable achievement, especially as she didn't call you right wing! I am left wondering if your lesbian's were unfriendly to her or something and naturally demand a reconstruction of the original incident in the interests of fair play.
Went with respected tech rag as its closest to the truth and you don't just republish the flannel everyone else does, or seem to copy news from other sites. If you watch breaking stories like plane crashes (topical sorry) you can watch rumour and error propagate across the web and it become obvious that most news is simply skimmed from other sites with no real investigation or sourcing.
Tech Bloke - cos anyone in glasses that thick...
"All the while, El Reg just goes about its business. But what is that business?" .... I would posit that it is an Establishment distraction/attraction, cleverly designed to try and halt/delay one from getting on with the Business of IT Taking Over from, or Making Over Traditional Control Systems and Fat Cat Controllers, with Novel XXXXStreaming Protocols of NeuReal Design and Simply Virtual Complexity........ie a Vain Attempt at Stemming the Tide of Digital Progess, the Tsunami of Binary Code Manipulation to Present a Brave New World Vision with Lovers and Women on AIMission of Passion? And if IT is not, then the Opposite could be True with it being the Perfect Trojan Catalyst/NEUKlearer Trigger dDelivering IT.
"If I were a girl ......I'd definitely be a lesbian. Does that count?" ... By Anonymous Coward Posted Friday 27th February 2009 14:54 GMT
It does have its attractions, AC, when thinking as a man.
And re......"p.s. Am I a lesbian because I am sexually attracted to women?" .... By Anonymous Coward Posted Friday 27th February 2009 14:29 GMT .... a conundrum which would be foolish to obsess over whenever an embrace and acceptance is so much more fun for a man. :-) And if women are from Venus it does bode well for amfM NEUKlearer HyperRadioProActivity.:-) which is AIMost Inclusive of Disciplines/Protocols/Orders.
However, that does raise a stiff question about Manly status because of any who would not be sexually attracted to women, the homosexual and/or misogynist male ..... and even should we propose a change of text to accomodate the anomaly and say "Am I a lesbian because I am sexually attractive to women?" ...well, that doesn't work too well either. Quite obviously Man and Woman are not nearly well enough defined to be of any Real Practical Use other than as a Cursory Descriptor for the Sum of one's Physical Parts, and therefore we are all best more accurately described by our sexual preference[s] which are much more defining and revealing anyway. And does that open up a new much bigger playground, or does that open up a much bigger playground?
Certainly the Polyamoral Nymph and Satyr would not be stuck for choice even should they be stuck in choosing.
And what a glorious tangent to be XXXXPloring whilst Artificial Control Systems are Collapsing all around the World.:-)
And re "RE: Explain please .... By Ian Posted Friday 27th February 2009 15:00 GMT"
I take it you are a big fan of El Reg then, Ian. How very Wise. I love your crazy fascist style of posting although it wouldn't be be anything I would like to copy for it can be too easily misunderstand and hijacked.
I suppose now, most things will sort of stop for the weekend, allowing for Unrivalled Stealth Progress and Deeper Penetrations BetaTesting of Hollow Systems and Shell Codes by IT Boffinry. A Busy Time in Deed, indeed.
Can someone please refund Ian his subscription money so that he can go read something else, more to his taste? He's clearly not enjoying himself here, and that makes me unhappy. Poor guy.
I voted all of the above, 'cos they all made me smile in a different way. Being called "unethical" by Phorm HAS to go down as one of the more ironic insults of all time ever. Like being called a twat by Noel Gallagher...
...I don't know The Independent from greeting cards, but I like to think of The Register as being an online lesbian magazine. I probably watched one to many Russ Meyer films as a child so my image of an online lesbian magazine might skew slightly from the reality. Presumably it still involves scantily clad buxom nymphomaniacs renouncing all men until they meet that one, special, overweight asthmatic civil-servant who will rock their world with his manly animal magnetism.
Whether it is true or not is something I can ponder later in the evening when the lights are off, but of more immediate concern is where, exactly, all this existential introspection is coming from. Is the Register punch drunk from too many bareknuckle skirmishes with the press? Are there ructions between the advertising department and the newsroom? Is the lure of the erectile dysfunction advertising dollar becoming just too hard to resist?
Worse, is this the part of the economic downturn where Papa asks the kids which hound they like the most before taking the rest of the family pets for one last walkies out behind the chicken house? If so, I *will not* eat the pot roast. Not this time. It tastes of flea powder and betrayal!
Chalk another one for 'Unethical', the fucking cheek of it!
BOFH, Fridays, Lester & Lewis, PlayMobil, therapy for AManFromMars, Biting the hand that feeds IT, witty 'Paris because' taglines, even the occasional well-written journalistic piece and that's before I get started on the good bits ;-p.
El Reg is a Hetero exclusion zone run as front organisation for the Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Alliance. Overrun by embittered, asexual old tossers who insist on boring on about how Gordon and Tony hijacked their beloved Labour party and transformed it into a cesspit of capitalist greed.
Other denizens include a confused Martian suffering from verbal incontinence and a stern dominatrix with very sharp claws which, when unsheathed, can inflict serious injuries on fragile egos.
These are serious people, so don't look for self-mockery or wry humour and above all, don't fuck with them.
Lesbo site defo. Being a male I am a huge fan of Lesbians both on and off the island which is why I will always have a soft spot in my black and frozen area that is commonly referred to as the heart!
And BOFH although tainted over the years is still the single source of ref material for any new IT sysadmins, its where I point any noobs to for instructions.
"Rogered again.....Lesbian puffer site gets balls. Re brands with upstanding El Roger logo. Named and shamed as high-level security threat by outgoing Home Secretary" ..... By Anonymous Coward Posted Saturday 28th February 2009 12:30 GMT
There's no danger if that with the present Squatter in Office, AC, she doesn't have the marbles and/or balls and/or evidence ...... although stupidity hasn't stopped her be a high-level security threat.
How she ever got through developed vetting for the post is one of those mysteries they'll be trying to sweep under the carpet .... but then the Intelligence Services are an Oxymoron with problems of their own making to deal with.
"Other denizens include a confused Martian suffering from verbal incontinence and a stern dominatrix with very sharp claws which, when unsheathed, can inflict serious injuries on fragile egos.
These are serious people, so don't look for self-mockery or wry humour and above all, don't fuck with them."..... By Anonymous Coward Posted Monday 2nd March 2009 12:07 GMT
I agree/Roger that. It can all be QuITe Confusing but some El Regers will tell you they are not confused by IT at all and although serious people with whom you would not wish nor should cross swords, are sterling sorts who would never deny the pleasure of that which you advise others against.
"I agree/Roger that. It can all be QuITe Confusing but some El Regers will tell you they are not confused by IT at all and although serious people with whom you would not wish nor should cross swords, are sterling sorts who would never deny the pleasure of that which you advise others against."
Exactly. I couldn't have said it more concisely myself. Nor would I try.
The confused but ever perspicacious amanfromMars has rumbled me on two of my AC posts leaving me feeling vulnerable and exposed. Does this mean that El Reg's venerable "security through obscurity" model is broken and needs to be upgraded to three-factor authentication?
Will our telepathic Martian friend please confirm by means of a statement witnessed by a Public Notary that he is not in the paid employment of the Bitch from Redditch.
... is excellent. Generally, we have pos. ##2 and 3 matching. High percentage of lesbians at pos. #1 may show that the dominant percentage of the voted readers are men and they feel fine.
With the results like these, the investors and advertisers may be sure to plan long-term contracts with El Reg.
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