back to article Oz man collared with pigeons down trousers

An Oz man faces up to ten years' jail and "substantial fines" after Melbourne customs operatives discovered he'd flown in from Dubai with two live pigeons down his trousers. According to AAP, the unnamed 23-year-old was rumbled on Sunday when officers found two bird's eggs in his pocket, and a search quickly revealed "he was …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Catch the pigeon

    Got to be some kind of Coup?

    I'll get my coat

  2. Ted Treen

    Very strange...

    ...but why?

    doesn't Oz have native/feral/racing pigeons of their own?

    No doubt someone will lighten my darkness...

  3. Anonymous Coward


    Reg is right, his legs ARE hairy, it's like a birds nest down there!

  4. Anonymous Coward

    oh dear..

    Maybe he got the wrong idea about 'having a bird in your trousers'??


  5. Rob


    nuff said

  6. Tanuki
    Paris Hilton

    Coo !

    I wonder if he was wearing the kind of underwear Aussies call 'Budgie-smugglers' ??

    Paris - because she'd know all about that sort of thing.

  7. Anonymous Coward


    just wandering.... WHY???????????????????????

    they no longer have pigeons down under?

  8. Hollerith


    First, cruelty to living things. Even pigeons do not deserve this. Second, cruelty to his fellow pasengers -- I mean, we know how much pigeons can defecate in 2 minutes. Third, stupid and dangerous. Has nobody looked at what bird flu has done to Indonesia? You just can't cart birds around the world as if no bad thing can result.

    And finally, just, eeeeuuuuwwwwwwwwwwww

  9. Bad Beaver


    Can't help it. With international roaming tariffs, you better bring your own pigeon to write home.

  10. Anonymous Coward

    A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush?

    Mine's the one with the cream eggs in the pocket.

  11. Steven Jack
    IT Angle

    Tech Angle

    Ok, Vaguely interesting, slightly bazaar story, but I’m failing to see the technology angle on this one!

  12. It wasnt me

    Good old aussies

    Wasnt it them that first popularised (or not) the old 'budgie smuggler' swimming shorts.

    This is a step to far.

  13. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Tech Angle

    You registered to say that, Steven?

    The official standard response to enquiries as to the whereabouts of a tech angle in a story clearly categorised as non-tech (if you look, you'll see) is now... well, see the 'Playmobil founder dies' comments for details.

    (ps You mean 'bizarre'. You're welcome.)

  14. Sam Tana

    Are they sure...

    Pigeons down the pants? Are they sure it wasn't a Cockatoo?

  15. Anonymous Coward


    You go, girl!

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Another completely pointless Red-top story

    Keep it up ElReg - you're getting more like the Star and the Sun every day!

    Uberfail in terms of sticking to the brief.

    Now removing the RSS feed from my toolbar.

  17. JayB

    A Bird in the hand...

    .. is worth two...

    In the Aussie bloke's knickers...

    See, now that just doesn't have quite the same ring to it as the usual saying. Mind you beyond "f*cking clueless fraggle" not much else to be said about the chap.

    Hey Sarah... that's now El Reg's "Official Response"??? Outstanding :)

    Oh and you owe me a new keyboard too......

  18. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Another completely pointless Red-top story

    Aw, really, AC? But we'll miss you. We've come to know you so well.

  19. Anonymous Coward

    Oh, dear...

    Did they catch him because he was walking around all pigeon-toed?

  20. Joe

    I mis-read the title... "O2 man collared with pigeons down trousers". I thought it was going to explain why international texts often take days to arrive...

  21. /etc

    And an aubergine

    According to the _Times_ the smuggler also had:

    "an undeclared aubergine in his holdall"

    As they say:

    "As an island nation [Oz] is particularly fearful of importing new animals or plant life, which could spread disease or threaten its native species."

    But presumably there are large financial rewards awaiting Aussies who bring in contraband. Guess there are a few well-heeled pigeon/aubergine fanciers down under who'll pay over the odds for an unusual specimen.

  22. Sam

    Tough law enforcement downunder

    Is this what you can expect if you bend a rule or two in Oz?

    Are the Oz authorities allowed to take staged photos of the accused's nether regions & splash them all over the interwebby thing?

    I bet the birds are underage so some other Oz policeman will probably nab them all for kiddyporn offences.

    I'll keep my coat on thanks.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    And a partridge in a pear tree?

    Unlike Steven Jack this article and many of the others like it are the reason I read El Reg. There's a million sites on the web which will regurgitate the latest news releases from disk manufacturers about the latest X platter disk with redundant whatsits and -1ms seek times. It's pleasant that El Reg occasionally has articles that are slightly off-beat and less relevant to tech workers.

    A change is like a holiday, and that brings us back to Mr Pigeon Pants who I am sure will be spending some time explaining to his fellow inmates what possibly motivated him to smuggle two pigeons and a bunch of seeds into a country known for it's tight quarantine laws. As an aside, imagine the stench in those tights, and feel sorry for the passengers near him.

    Paris, because she's only interested in cockatoos.

  24. Peter Gray


    Typical Aussie from the sounds of it - possibly sheep are getting too expensive?

  25. Anonymous Coward

    Poor feller

    He's just a bit confused about the whole concept of bringing home birds, innit... :-)

    Mine's the one with room for an emu and two cockerels.

  26. Pyros

    Looks like the cute policema'am said to him...

    "Sir, are you happy to see me, or is that a pigeon in your pants?"

    Mine's the grey poncho with the whitish smears, please...

  27. sam bo

    Budgie smugglers ?

    ......a real man smuggles pigeons.

    By the way there is really big money in international bird and animal smuggling, a breeding pair of rare cockatoos can bring in more than ten grand.

    fail to see the value in pigeons, but no doubt there was good money involved.

    @ etc ... the threat is not to the native species, Customs couldn't give a damn about them I'm sure, the threat is to commercial farming, worth billions to the economy.

  28. J


    "(ps You mean 'bizarre'. You're welcome.)"

    Maybe he does mean bazaar. It might be where the Aussie would be selling the eggs and pigeons. Maybe.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Why pigeons?

    The ostriches wouldn't fit.

  30. Neoc

    Get your stereotypes right.


    Sheep jokes should be directed at New Zealand. And Oz has Emus, not Ostriches.

    C'mon people - if you're going to make these kind of jokes, get your stereotypes right.

    "A man walks into a pub dragging a stunned kangaroo behind him...."

  31. Anonymous Coward

    thank you mod(dom)inatrix

    For setting another wanker straight...oh, wait....that's redundant...

  32. Moss Icely Spaceport

    Rats of the air

    All he had to do was show the pigeons a map and have them fly there themselves.

    Lazy birds, catching a plane!

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    I miss the days when... landed back in Aus and before you were allowed off, the Quarantine lads would come on board and proceed to walk down the aisles of the aircraft spraying the aerosols of disinfectant in the air....

    You knew you were back home then!!

    Must have been to kill to smuggled pigeons.

  34. Anonymous Coward

    So that

    Is where Bill Lawry went!

  35. sath

    something shady and feathered down under (also hairy)

    I still haven't forgotton the incident involving the Oz and the pasta jar incident, or the violation of Jungle Jane, this is next on the list of weird crimes going on in the land of Down Under i thinks.

    As for the man's Leg Hair Index he rates worse then a rainforest, if the pigeons were infact proxies for parrots to go with his leg jungle or something similar then it is a sad fail indeed...

  36. The Boffin

    What's the punishment?

    What's the punishment for smuggling pigeons? Will he end up doing bird?

    I thank you.

  37. Anonymous Coward

    Punishment for smuggling pigeons

    The punishment for smuggling pigeons in your trousers is almost certinaly this: your legs get covered in pigeon crap.

    I'll get my coat - it's the one with the undisclosed aubergine in the pocket...

  38. Francis Offord
    Paris Hilton

    This could be the start of something big

    I'll bet that tickled his fancy!

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