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  1. AC
    Paris Hilton

    "a cool chick, a smart girl, and hard-working"

    bahahahahaha, we are talking about Paris Hilton right ?!

    Paris because that's the sort of crap that Paris would come out with

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Dammit!

    Clearly this means someone is going to have to take up the slack and step into the role of trashy vamp-socialite. Well, the buck stops here and I shall take on this onerous responsibility. No, don't try to stop me. Duty calls and I respond.

    Being a generously proportioned middle aged male will be no impediment. Hand me some pumps and a scandalously brief cocktail dress. Soon hairy, lardy, and - I must confess - bosomy, will be de rigeur on red carpet and behind velvet rope.

    2009 is a year for personal reinvention!

    Which way round does a thong go?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Here's a suggestion

    Why don't we all just fuck off out of Paris Hilton's life and stop thinking about her for, say, three years? If she's worth anything she can do something with her life in three years, if she's not who gives a fuck?

    Bring back TPT

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Why?

    Why does the media constantly follow this bimbo? She is shallower than my two year olds bath water, about as intelligent as a cockroaches kneecap and butt fucking ugly to boot.

    Do us all a favour Paris, seeing as you have SUCH acting talent, do a remake of Castaway but please, stay on the fucking island.

  5. Simon
    Paris Hilton

    Poor thing

    There, there. Of course you're a spoilt airhead sweetie.

    You look dizzy, go have a lay down and let the adults handle this.

    /Paris, because she and Paris would get along just fine if they ever met.

  6. Terry
    Joke

    Almost

    @AC -- Mod +4 Humor. But then you went too far combining lardy, hairy and the reversed thong mental image. Mod +10 Full Body Shiver.

    I must go bathe now.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmmmm?

    "I'm a lot more serious and shy... and if I'm not out, having to be, you know, 'on', I'm at home just chilling and wearing sweat pants."

    Her use of, like, language clearly demonstrates her, you know, intelligence.

  8. Ozwadi Ogolugi

    Shag

    I wouldn't mind shagging her.

  9. Doug Glass
    Go

    Paris is ...

    ... as Paris does.

    Paris because without her life would be all IT and Obama.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Famous for...

    ...NOT wearing a thong, actually.

  11. JP Sistenich
    Flame

    Are we really stooping so low...

    ...as to quoting HEAT magazine in El Reg now?!?

    <-- for obvious reasons...

  12. Disco-Legend-Zeke
    Paris Hilton

    Like i've been saying....

    I think i had a clue before even she did.

    You have to look a bit beneith the surface, http://destination-fun.com/CHRON/2006/08/29/

    She's not a baby anymore, after all... She just needs a husband like me to help her make the transition.

  13. Robert Moore
    Thumb Down

    Why, oh why?

    Why do so many of you think she is attractive? I find her an utterly repulsive, talentless, shallow, ignorant, bimbo.

    I like a real woman... Like the lovely and talented Miss. Bee.

  14. J
    Paris Hilton

    I wonder...

    I wonder if Paris knows about the "following" she has here at this site...

  15. ThinkingOutLoud
    Paris Hilton

    What if...

    ...she actually turns out to be quite a nice, if not too bright woman who becomes a well rounded person and a perfect wife? I once knew someone similar (substantially scaled down on the Fame Board!) who was often mocked and got no respect from her peers. When I met her again in her late thirties she had a great husband and two very polite young children. She had a small, part time business and since I had not been part of that early pack, she got to tell me how she had the last laugh.

    Paris because for once, she actually IS the topic and since I never met her, I can blend with the Mocking Pack. If I had, I'd have kept my mouth shut just in case...

  16. lglethal Silver badge
    Flame

    Think of the poor artist

    who know misses out on exhibition space to make way for this trash...

    Man i hate celebutards!

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Oh yes you are

    So here's an idea Paris, sod off into obscurity and we won't think about you at all so your feelings won't be hurt.

    I mean, it's not like you NEED to work for a living now is it?

  18. Fozzy
    Linux

    COME ON"Indeed, when she's not working her ass off to make an honest buck"

    My mind imploded with all the possible responses to this. Thanks El Reg my I.Q> has now dropped that low I actually beleive Paris is the intelligent hard working lass she purports to be.

    Ah look at the cute penguin

  19. Steve Roper
    IT Angle

    Re: Think of the poor artist

    Given Paris' reputation, it'll be interesting to see how her artwork is judged. I have a feeling that unless (and maybe even if) she turns out to truly be the next Picasso or DaVinci in terms of ground-breaking artwork, whatever she paints will be seen as "crap" simply because of her fame (or infamy), which would be seen (rightly or wrongly) as being the primary cause of her displacing any unknown artist at an exhibition. And that at the same time, an unknown artist's work displayed in place of hers at an exhibition would not be so harshly judged.

    Ah, tall-poppy syndrome. You gotta love it!

    IT angle because this article does, in fact, have an obvious Paris Hilton angle! :)

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmm

    "I'm a lot more serious and shy... and if I'm not out, having to be, you know, 'on', I'm at home just chilling and wearing sweat pants."

    When you're at home you're more serious and wear casual clothes? What a revelation. You don't stop being a spoiled airhead just because you take a break from clubbing.

  21. P. Lee
    Paris Hilton

    Consider all those who make shed-loads of money...

    Do any of them work hard enough to warrant the cash?

    Is everyone here really gullible enough to believe what the see on TV, be it "Countdown", "the simple life" or anything else purported to be a "reality show"?

    Yoohoo! ITS ALL ENTERTAINMENT - tv execs are showing you what they think you want to see, just as newspapers reflect their readership.

  22. Mighty Dosser
    Joke

    This is old news

    Come on El Reg, this is old news. Paris released one of her pastiches of the great works on to the web ages ago. I believe it was entitled "Girl with the Pearl Necklace".

  23. DutchOven
    Coat

    Working hard...

    ...or turning up for 1/2 an hour at some "trendy" new bar and getting paid the better part of half a million for it?

    It's an insult to anyone who *does* work.

    It's also an insult to anyone who has to pay to get into clubs...

    Mine's the one with Paris Hilton's talent in the - wait a minute, can someone pass the magnifying glas?

  24. Jared Earle
    Coat

    Great idea

    After all, didn't most artistic movements start in Paris?

    Oh, wait.

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