back to article UFO wind turbine prang site: Exclusive photos

The recent Conisholme wind farm incident - in which one turbine shed a blade in highly mysterious circumstances - provoked a level of black helicopter activity not seen since NASA faked the 1969 Moon landing, with many suggesting extraterrestrial involvement. Well, we at El Reg have spent some time analysing a satellite image …

COMMENTS

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  1. Kevin Gurney
    Happy

    I can see this becoming

    the most commented on article ever to grace the pages of El Reg

    I for one welcome our windfarm turbine destroying overlords..........

  2. Yves Kurisaki

    UFOs?

    You guys have too much time on your hands.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Friday Already?

    Nice try, but, Crops in Winter?

    What no Ice cubes? Giant Martini etc..

  4. Richard

    It must be fri...

    Maybe not.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Proof that UK Stealth Tech Works!

    as I cant see it in the Sat Image...

    Well done chaps, another slice of the funding cake for you now...

  6. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Alien

    GRIN!!

    Aliens because, well.....

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wot no

    Optimus!

  8. Tim Greenwood
    Thumb Up

    Scoop!

    This is why The Register is my primary source of news. Proper invetigative journalism and analysis with the high tec. edge that we have come to expect.

    Keep up the good work.

  9. Secretgeek
    Happy

    Absolute quality.

    That is all.

  10. John

    bolts?

    surely the caption writer has a screw loose!

  11. Rob
    Coat

    Too many assumptions

    First off your comments about the cows, have you asked Anni-Frid and Agnetha whther the next stage of their research will involve getting the cows on some marching powder. Would make for a good news story title the most obvious being "bovians on bolivian".

    The Sun photographer certainly wouldn't be at the security cordon when their is an Australian humping an inflatible doll.

    The dog handler wouldn't be having a chat with the other parties the dog would be doing the chatting and they'd all be running.

    As for the unknown alloys, I think you'll find they are self tapping screws for wood/plasterboard and alike.

    Mine's the one filled with plastic toys of a playmobil variety.

    (P.S. quality mock-up by the way, how much playmobil does El-Reg have in the office?)

  12. Andus McCoatover
    Happy

    I'm unemployed, FFS!!!

    I can't afford to give any more keyboards to the Coffee Fairy!

    Stoppit, already! (Christ, and to think it's only Monday...What are you buggers gonna hit me with on Friday???)

  13. radian
    Happy

    Quality stuff

    Is it Friday again already?

  14. Smallbrainfield
    Thumb Up

    The week in Playmobil

    Awesome.

  15. David Harper

    But where's the crash-landed Airbus A320?

    Wot, no Captain Chesley Sullenberger III?

    Shame on you!

  16. Ben Mathews

    Reporting at it's finest.

    It's this kind of detective work, wich simply can't be found on other sites, that brings me back to el reg day after day.

    The truth is out there...

  17. Chris Simmons
    Happy

    At last

    proof that UFOs do not exist and we are being bothered bothersomely by lots of human aliens from outside our borders.

    I cannot tell you how much your superior investigative journalism has astounded and amazed me, while making me laugh so much I added to global warming.

    Keep up the good work.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    A quick check...

    ...of skin tones, highlights, smoothing artifacts, and shadows, suggests that these photos may have been photoshopped.

    All very funny, but i suspect all it serves to do is distract the simple minded from the actual cause - testing of the LHC, some 18 months from now, will/has cause(d) ripples throughout space-time that displaced several objects throughout history. Flight 19, the gunman on the grassy knoll, Pete Best - improbable and inexplicable disappearances that all were/are/will be symptoms of this time ripple.

    In this particular case the turbine was destroyed when the space it occupied was intruded upon by an instantaneously transported UFO that had, until then, been cruising the American mid-west eviscerating cattle and probing startled farmhands... as well as the odd cashed up businessmen of particular and peculiar tastes.

    Pete Best is best... he just isnt in this plane of existence anymore.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Eeeek!

    I've not seen images as shocking as these since my last super-strong cheese binge held too close to bedtime !

  20. alan
    Thumb Up

    Best job in the world...

    forget being kaka and getting paid half a million a week, I want to be paid to play with playmobile :)

    Fooking funny though :)

  21. Wyrmhole
    Go

    The series is getting better and better :D

    It deserves its own NSFW-style tag IMO.

  22. Flugal
    Paris Hilton

    the 1969 Moon landing?

    Which 1969 Moon landing did NASA fake? Apollo 11 (Landed July 1969) or Apollo 12 (landed November 1969). Are you suggesting Pete Conrad was the first man on the moon after all?

    Paris - because even she remembers which man got 'there' first.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    LOL

    is about the only acronym I can sum up.

  24. Paul Murphy

    Another epic tale.

    Glad to see the creative juices still working there.

    Could it be that the light aircraft from the business man may have hit the blades?

    Or maybe some of the 5-year olds mates were playing chicken and dariing each other to stop the blades with some non-vital organ such as their heads?

    Of course it COULD have been a US spy satellite flying a little low to get a better picture of something, but the controllers got mixed up between the metric and imperial systems and hit the blades at orbital velocities instead.

    Just saying is all....

    Or maybe that rather large balloon that NASA uses to hold stuff up in the air for a long time came down?

    <how long is my lunch break??>

    OR maybe some of that large HP packaging box got caught in a gust of wind ...

    Or maybe it was just an un-balanced rotor that shook itself to bits.

    ttfn

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Bloomin 'eck

    That one area of land seems to have a higher crime count than even Midsomer!!!

  26. Edward Miles
    Thumb Up

    Haha!

    Just what I need when my day's gone pear-shaped. Thanks you very much for the smile I am now wearing :D

  27. xyz
    Paris Hilton

    Thank God that's solved then!

    Having followed this on abovetopsecret.com (I think the thread is 27 pages long now), I'm glad to see that some proper reporting of the incident hasfinally been carried out by El Reg.

    Clears the whole thing up for me.

    Paris, 'cos I understand her favourite position is the "black helicopter."

    neebl, neebl ("Welcome glorious reptilan overlords & pity about the landing" in Planet X-ian)

  28. Kris Whitmore
    Thumb Up

    Thanks the Register

    On what is (apparently) officially the most depressing day of all time this is exactly the tonic we need.

    Keep up the good work

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    You missed the SEP

    Can't you see the SEP field? Clearly evidence of alien technology, using the 'Somebody Else's Problem' field in an attempt to make themselves invisible.

    Can't you see it? It's right there.

    OK, it might just be your standard farmer's field, but I'm sticking with my theory.

    Where's the Douglas Adams icon?

  30. Sekundra
    Alien

    We are not worthy...

    ROTFLMAO - I'm glad that I've yet to start eating! :)

  31. Ted Treen
    Coat

    You fools......

    Now you've cracked it, AND published the results, this means that Lester won't be around for the next 42 days.....

    Mine's the one with the "I want an ID card" on the frone, and "Whacky Jacqui rules" on the back. (This is no time to be making enemies...)

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Where's Optimus?

    Surely Optimus Prime was involved somehow? How did he avoid the cameras?

  33. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Quality stuff

    Yes indeed. But any more comments hereafter referencing the day of Friday will be booted into, er, next week.

    It's Throw Your Weight Around Monday here on the mod desk.

  34. Yorkshirepudding
    Go

    epic win

    im loving it we demand more reconstructions!

  35. Craig
    Pirate

    Awwwwwsome!

    Bloody brilliant, though I was expecting Optimus to be at fault, but I guess he got deported :(

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Now I know

    why I read el Reg

    hee hee

  37. Matt
    Thumb Up

    Job envy

    Fair play Lester - you seem to have this job thing sussed - while the rest of us are worried about job security etc. in "the current econmic climate" (tm) you bravely soldier on - surely having convinced you boss to update your jobspec/role to include a section on playing with toys.

  38. Michael Sheils
    Thumb Up

    I'd just like to welcome everyone..

    ..to the best Article El Reg has ever managed.

    Well Done.

  39. amanfromMars Silver badge
    Alien

    Area 51 meets Space 42? ...... AIdDNA thing in Stealthy PGP2* Disguise.

    "Watch this space... ® "

    Crikey, Lester, you have me Spellbound and IT has certainly captured my Imagination. Whatever next in this space?

    Don't tell me, a Special Forces team to the Novel Terrain to Short Circuit the Con, Trolling Power Fields and Currency Supply? And just in the Nick of Time too, considering the damage done and the right hash that can be made with UFOffologies.

    * Pretty Good Privacy PerlyGatesPython ....... which pays Homage to Ruby on Rails and off on AITrails for a Walk and a Park on the Wild Side of Life and ITs Sinful Partnership with Viceless Love. .......... for a QuITe Perfectly Improbable Perpetual Energy Drive*. :-)

    * Which to Add to Darling Prudence Woes, is Currently Challenging the Tweedledum and Tweedledee of the UKs Outrageous Misfortune to release some of the Newly Invented Quantitively Eased Flash Cash for AI Test Run, rather than wasting it as always with sad and maddening promises that it is available, but never being able or enabled to delivering the Goods to Energy Source for ITs Sorcery.

  40. Geeks and Lies
    Coat

    Can i place an order....

    For an ounce of whatever you guys have been smoking in the office?!?!?!

    Best, mockup, ever!

    Mines the one with the Rizla packet...

    Carry on....

  41. Scott
    Alien

    Missed the story

    I missed this story as i was out the country so what news did the goverment sneak out when this story broke? as theres nothijng like a UFO sighting/death of someone to sneak bad news out.

    Did they get the insurance details of the UFO or is the tax payer liable again?

  42. robbie
    Paris Hilton

    Shurely shome mishtake

    This whole farrago would be more plausible were not the photographs so blatantly airbrushed. Even our most purulent tabloids would not have dared to published this specious blather.

    I remain, Sirs,

    Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells.

    Paris, 'cos you nicked her Lego set.

  43. Elmer Phud
    Alien

    Yer all wrong!

    Pah and thrice pah!

    We've not heard much of a certain person/machine for a while -- this was the latest incarnation of Kap'n Kev Cyborg but it's not right yet. Bit of a problem with one of the legs - sort of UFO I guess.

  44. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    Re: Optimus.

    He's clearly visible in several of the pics, carefully camouflaged as a JCB to avoid disturbing the locals and giving the game away.

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I suppose the comments are to be expected

    They just show how easily the El Reg proles are pleased. Wake up you lot, you're congratulating a grown man for playing with plastic fucking dolls

  46. Tim

    Excellent stuff

    I can see some of these pictures being photoshopped & blurred then appearing on various ufo/conspiracy websites shortly.

    Oh, those are chipboard screws, clearly the aliens are looking for a fresh supplier of cheap furniture following MFI going bust. Just stick a sign to the nearest Homebase on a 200' pole & they'll cease bothering us.

    Tim#3

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Seriously?

    What sort of news site is this? I'm seriously wondering why I visit this poor excuse for a new website you each day! So, if you don't balance the pirates with some ninja's immediately I'm going to write to my local MP!

  48. Tim Bergel
    Happy

    Thank you

    Just excellent ...

  49. Alan W. Rateliff, II
    Paris Hilton

    Giving boobs to Lego women

    Absolutely brilliant work. I would like to make a comment like "you guys do not have enough to do," or "must have been a slow news day," but here I am reading the article, comments, and then commenting myself.

    I am a tad disappointed about the obvious lack of Optimus Prime (mentioned above,) as well as a Tazering incident. But, I suppose I simply cannot have everything.

    I also have to say that I like the Playmobil sets. Finally, Lego women have the breasts they deserve. Now to see if the Lego men get the bulges the women want so desperately - in the wallet area.

    Paris, wanting the bulges, showing that women can have boobs, be boobs, or both.

  50. Stephen Sherry
    Thumb Up

    Awesome!

    Especially the bit with the escaping US businessman, priceless :)

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A title is required.

    "Our skilled operatives are as we speak at a secret location somewhere in southern England"

    el reg lingo for pub innit?

  52. Pierre

    Do you have

    Anni-Frid's or Agnetha's phone number? I was onsite when you took the pics ( you can clearly see me wearing my light-bending cloaking coat on several pics, right next to the cloaked shed) but I was too shy to ask them out.

  53. FreeTard
    Thumb Up

    Oh reg....

    Your just brilliant. This is the kind of ludicrous tripe I love from this site.

    You actually went out and bought all those figurines just for the craic.

    Top stuff. Keep it up.

  54. Seanie Ryan
    Alien

    apparently

    a fridge can kill a man

  55. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Fantastic reconstructions!

    That made me chuckle a lot... Thank you Lester!

  56. Steven Knox
    Boffin

    @Chris W

    I believe you meant "f**king plastic dolls". "Plastic f**king dolls" are generally of a very different size and shape -- or so I've heard.

  57. Lindsay Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Nice F-19!

    Just the thing for black helicopter cred.

  58. /dev/me
    Pirate

    Did you notice??

    The ninja's again didn't leave a trace. Not even El Reg can see through their stealth. But I'm not ruling out the possibility, is all I'm saying...

  59. Pierre
    Thumb Up

    Also,

    import mind_control; import moderatrix

    <subliminal_message> These stories are best kept for the <Sarah=ignore> Fridays </Sarah>. They (partly) compensate for our dose of BOFH. </subliminal_message>

  60. Charlie Clark Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Lester for king!

    Fucking ace.

    Like others I'm looking forward to the Hudson river crime scene investigation: Airbus thwarts Boeing sabotage plans?

  61. Andus McCoatover
    Happy

    @Chris W.

    <<Wake up you lot, you're congratulating a grown man for playing with plastic fucking dolls>>

    Well, couple of the dolls were fuc*king. And made of plasic, so ner-ner-ne-ner-ner.

    And if I was Lester, I'd be pissed off someone called me "grown up". Sheesh, Chris, get a life! Thar's fun out there when you don't take things *too* seriously. Bloody UNIX admins.

    Personally I can't wait for to see what BOFH comes up with on, ahem, 'the-day-after-Thursday' (Blasted Moderatrix, I had to use all my intelligence to get that past her. I'm not even merkan!)

  62. Gwyn Kemp-Philp
    Alien

    Definitely aliens it was

    Oh! Moderatrix...! Thank God its Tuesday.

    It looks to me like someone threw their toys out of some passing alien pram.

    Or maybe aliens have been lobbing some objet d'art from out of a nearby wormhole because we went and pinched some of their advanced power technology.

  63. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    It's the Roswell for the UK

    As soon as I read about this in ehem..... The Sun newspaper, it took me approx 5 seconds to realise that it was one of those coverup thingies.

    Wind turbine disintegrates due to stress, look on youtube for "wind turbine explosion" and the company selling things decides to say it was circumstances unknown in order to prevent the whole anti-windfarm snobs from kicking up a storm.

    IT DIDN'T BLOW UP SOMETHING HIT IT! - HONEST!

    That's what they are saying, the missing blade is in some blokes shed somewhere.

  64. Jeff Rowse Bronze badge

    @Chris W

    Oh dear, suddenly discover Captain Darling has raided your wallet (or pension fund, or ISA, or whatever) to bail out his chums in the banking industry again? Or are you actually a w^H Banker who hasn't been blessed with our caring, sharing Chancellor of the Huge Cheque-r's largesse?

    Either way, there's more than enough misery going around at the moment. Stop raining on everyone else's parade please. I'd rather congratulate a grown man for playing with plastic figures but making a few people chuckle than look a fool for reading all the comments before posting a comment insulting everyone (else) who's read them...

  65. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Andus McCoatover

    I don't mind a bit of leg pulling but the UNIX admins comment went well beyond the pale, VMS only please.

    And what's the betting that Jeff Rowse is a 'merkan?

  66. W
    Alien

    6: Fugitive US businessman

    ...looks suspiciously like a certain Ms Bee (complete with dodgy knock-off Sun Microsystems logo top).

    See http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/16/moderatrix_boudoir/

    A twin, perhaps? Note that the Jungle Jane botherer looks like he's from the same clan too. We demand answers!

  67. Andus McCoatover
    Joke

    @ W. Wrong way round?

    (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/16/moderatrix_boudoir/)

    Hard (snick) to tell, but as Moderatrix wants to be anonymous, I'd think that was her on the bed.

    Waiting for a bit 'o' Doggie-style. Doggie seems "up for it", and if not, he's got Prince Harry to administer a nasty smack with his rod/stick/whatever

    (Blast these low-definition eeepc 701 screens. Really get your imagination going)

    Correction - when later viewed on a decent quality Amstrad VGA monitor, I realise I was mistaken by the doggie's rear offside leg. Maybe not, after all, quite so "up for it".

  68. r76
    Jobs Horns

    Number 6

    Surely the spinning beachball of death, indicating that your Google Earth has crashed...

  69. Paul Richards

    UFO wind turbine prang site - 'Bob the Builder clean up'

    Hey that's the outdoor set of 'Bob the Builder', my son spotted it straight away : )

  70. Rick Giles
    Happy

    @ Andus McCoatover

    This is what they hit you with on Friday: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/01/30/american_stereotype/

  71. Toastan Buttar
    Thumb Up

    Swedish Scientists

    Hey, they're cute ! I hope you find plenty more opportunities to gratuitously show them again, a la EEE-Girl on the beach.

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