back to article Ghost of Lennon punts laptops for kids

Fans of Ollie Reed's posthumous exit from Gladiator - digitally knocked together from outtakes after the hellraising thesp inconveniently popped his caligulae during filming of the Roman epic - will doubtless enjoy this punt for One Laptop Per Child, featuring a seamless performance from John Lennon: Well, we know it's all …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    You didn't need me

    "Hi, I'm John Lennon, and I'm dead. Don't smoke. Don't smoke."

  2. Anonymous Coward

    Laptops for $199!!

    And i just handed £380 to PC world for one so my daughter can do college work.

    Oh, just wanna know, what they going to use it for? at least pen and paper can be useful for reference later in life.....and who pay's for the internet access? Oh yes, they use the profits from their "how to 419" lessons and "buy your online degree"

    I still think, much as I hated the "career saving opportunity" concept of Live Aid, most kids would rather have a decent diet than a laptop and empty stomach

  3. Seán

    What's wrong with him

    Why does he make that awful squeak noise? Do all liverpoolists speak like that?

  4. Roger Heathcote


    That's terrible, truly terrible!

  5. Steve
    Paris Hilton

    Lilly Savage?

    Sorry it was a bit blurry, was that Lilly I could hear?

    Sound's like she has a cold coming on or perhaps a slight Manc accent?

    Seriously though, Paris could do a better impression than that.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    ..this was voiced by one Mr. Flibble, who is moonlighting. Suggest diving under the desk while the clip is playing to avoid hex beams from his eyes.

  7. Chika

    It sounds more like...

    Wakko Warner slowed down.

  8. goggyturk


    Was that Bernard Hill or Noel Gallagher (both high on Helium) they got to do the voiceover? And when will he be appearing in South Park?

    I want to hear him sing, whoever he is!

  9. Lloyd

    Oh dear

    Could they not find anyone that sounded like Lennon then? It sounds like Paul Rudd in Walk Hard.

  10. Anonymous Coward

    Wow that was spooky!

    Apart from the questionable morality of re-animating dead people (eg. Elvis touring, Katie Melua 'dueting' with Ea Cassidy), that really really IS a terrible JL impersonator doing the voice-over!

    So like, was it too hard to find someone living (who's endorsement might actually mean something since you can't get less sincere than being dead whilst doing it!) to promote these things??

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Truely stunningly bad...

    ...JL never spoke like that. He spoke much slower, and less squeeky!

    Leave the dead in their boxes, what's the point? Cheap publicity.

  12. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  13. The Fuzzy Wotnot


    Morally wrong, don't really like Lennon much but dragging up dead celebs like that is just wrong, on all counts.

    The accent? Lilly Savage on dope! JL spoke more softly, less nasal and a LOT deeper. Was it really that hard to dig out a load of interviews with the man, cut the audio you want and adjust the tones correctly? Perhaps even hold a quick one day audition in Merseyside for someone with a good approximation of his voice?

    At the end of the day, with thousands dying, perhaps getting these poor people back on their feet with basic education in subsistance farming, keeping the scum warlord murderers and rapists out of their areas and allowing kids to get at least 3 squares a day and learn the 3 Rs in safety, before we start chucking useless bits of tech charity about!

  14. Martin Eddington

    Don't knock OLPC

    "What will they use it for ?", "Who pays for the internet access ?", "Why not just teach basic subsistence farming", "Why would they want one when they're starving ?".

    etc. etc.

    The mesh wireless network pioneered with the OLPC can use a single internet connection (for example at the local school) and the laptops themselves form a wireless network enabling connection for as far as their combined ranges allow. The information flow from village to village can significantly improve resource management, skills in farming, exchange of goods locally and medical advice - as the children connect on a larger scale, so will the adults.

    The OLPC is not a replacement for any help charity can give in terms of food, farming or development - it is supplementary to that. It is focussing on communication and understanding amongst the children. For there to be the political and idealogical solutions required to help developing countries - giving the children the chance to connect to one another, and the skills to find out for themselves the information they need in life - is essential.

    The OLPC project is one of real hope, and the disgruntled complaining about other people's charity (one presumes those who complain are not contributing) is deeply unpleasant to see.

  15. Steven Raith

    @the Mr Flibble referring AC

    By god, that's exactly what I thought too - astoundingly bad voiceover!

    Rimmer: "They've been naughty boys, haven't they, Mr. Flibble?"

    Mr. Flibble: "Yes!"

    Rimmer: "What happens to naughty boys who've been naughty, Mr. Flibble?"

    Mr. Fibble: "Uncle Arnie fries them alive with his OLPC power supply, because the solar panel is knackered..."

  16. Steen Hive
    Thumb Down

    @Martin Eddington

    "The OLPC project is one of real hope, and the disgruntled complaining about other people's charity (one presumes those who complain are not contributing) is deeply unpleasant to see."

    Indeed, it's nauseating. Of course there are a lot of morons in the woodwork that regard organised charity as nothing more than socialism and that helping people better themselves - or even helping them stay alive - is anathema, the sick fucks.

  17. Richard

    John Lennon is better at making Pot Noodles

    Here is JL making Pot Noodles with out lovely Paris Hilton.

    Actualy more realistic...


  18. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Aid and Self-help

    Complex subject, but the idea of OLPC is to give the children the means of obtaining the skills necessary to pull themselves away from subsistance living, and improve their collective lives.

    I do acknowlege that they must be alive in order to benefit from what they gain. And I am also aware that they may consider the OLPC as something they can sell for cash, to use for whatever they see fit.

    But, at the risk of being controversial, if you don't give them the abillity to become self-supporting, you might as well let them die, otherwise they will just be a drain on the aid agencies. With increasingly scarce global resources, all communities everywhere have to become self-sustaining, whether by local effort, trade, or (dare I say it) exploitation of others.

    Anyway, enough of philosophy. I'm sure that Paris could find some way of supporting herself, given her talents.

  19. Dunhill

    re: Aid and Self-help

    As living in a country that fits the OLPC profile and being the neighbour of the country that fits it even better :

    YES the idea was good in the beginning

    > free software (linux based) and machines that can work in critical conditions for the people who cannot afford a computer etc etc

    YES the whole setup has many flaws

    > when people are hungry they will sell the machine for food

    > when ppl never learned to read or write how can they work with those magic boxes

    > 1 internet connection for all, what? internet where? in a 50 km range with no electricity or phone service..??

    and now, because of "to keep up with the technology" the laptops are (also) provided with a special version of XP, and the enduser needs to license and pay for the software ....

    how ?? as it was intended for the poorest people/areas ??

    At this point the project is going downhill, too many ppl, with no knowledge of being real poor (as defined in western eyes, a lot of those real poor are rather happy with their lives) are getting involved and $$ companies who go for the free advertisement/profit/marketing opportunities and who don't give a sh#t about those poorest.


  20. pbhj

    poverty of communications

    Poverty is not just about lack of water, food, healthcare and education. If you need to survive in a capitalist economy you also need means to properly communicate in order to effectively do business. If a networked computer in your village means you can contact more buyers for your sacks of coffee beans what do you think that'll do for your price? Or if it means you have access to the resources of the worlds finest education establishments (assuming your mesh connects to the internet somewhere), how will that help you afford a better education?

    Get a better price for your goods or services and you can start to restore the balance between the exploitative rich and the exploited poor. Of course the long term result of that doesn't look great for those of us living off the riches of exploiting those poor ...

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