back to article 130,000 inflatable jubs missing at sea

An Australian men's mag has asked beachcombers to keep a sharp eye out for inflatable breasts after 130,000 pneumatic chesticles went awol en route from Beijing to Sydney. Ralph had intended to to distribute the tits free with its January issue, but while the AU$200,000 cargo apparently left China a couple of weeks back, when …

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  1. Dave Ross
    Happy

    Tip-off?

    fails dismally to restrain self from commenting on whether it should really be called a tip-off...

  2. Simon Neill
    Joke

    Warning....

    Not to be used as a flotation device!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Someone, somewhere...

    ...is satisfying a fetish right now. Scrooge McDuck-like, substitute gold with chesticles. My mind is generating pictures I'd rather not see. Hammer time...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    I'd like to make a couple of points..

    The sea around Oz shouldn't be nippy this time of year.

    The loss of these will leave Ralph feeling very deflated.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Joke

    Thanks for the mammaries, or not in this case

  6. dervheid
    Happy

    Please keep us...

    abreast of any developments here, whilst I nip out for a moment.

  7. Matt Smart
    Coat

    I'm sure...

    ...that the bloke responsible for this "feels a bit of a tit right now".

    Mine's the one with the... meh, I don't have anything in my pockets.

  8. Paul Murphy
    Paris Hilton

    IF they left China in the first place of course.

    After all, just saying you sent them out is a great way of getting paid without doing any work, and it makes your figures look good.

    If the Chinese can put melamine into babies milk I doubt there would be any scruples to stop them from lying about sending stuff off.

    PH cos her chesticles look good (enough) anyway.

  9. H

    thank you for keeping me...

    .... abreast of the situation.

    mines the one with the nipple clamps.

  10. Tom

    Sorry,

    I've had a melt down with all the available punning and mirth that can be derived from this story, so therefore i can't do the subject matter any justice in this medium. I'm sorry, there will be no word play issued from the buero today.

  11. James
    Happy

    Could this really...

    .. be the peak (or twin peaks) of human endeavour?

    If there's anything needed to convince dolphins that they are actually the most advanced species on the planet this is it.....

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Boobs on the beach!

    Who can/should complain?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Heart

    Anyone trying to grab a couple of these

    Ought to be sure to tell them apart from Portugese Men'o'war and other lethal jellyfish species. Perhaps a few tips from Lewis are in order?

  14. Christoph Silver badge

    That kind of delivery problem ...

    Can really get on your tits.

  15. Martin Lyne

    This article

    is no good without (satellite) pictures.

  16. Yorkshirepudding
    Joke

    not a case of

    titsup but titsoverboard

  17. Andus McCoatover
    Happy

    Lovely Jubbly!

    (Title says it all...)

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Please, please, please, please...

    ...stop using the word 'chesticles'. It makes you look like frat boys. And what ever happened to Bulgarian Airbags, anyway?

  19. Rusty Warrior
    Coat

    titter

    ye not!

  20. Disco-Legend-Zeke
    Paris Hilton

    JUBBIES are NOT BOOBIES

    Jubbies are the dinples in the legs now renamed cellulete.

    Paris has the latter, newly installed, perhaps, but not the former as far as i can see.

  21. Marvin the Martian
    Stop

    A$4.3 billion??

    Isn't there a floating-point error there, say 3 places?

  22. Martin Glenn
    Paris Hilton

    I think I know where some are!

    Some have turned up in the UK following a short stint in the outback,

    oh sorry appears that these plastic ones were actually attached to Nicola Mclean.

  23. James
    Happy

    Basic geography tells the answer

    “"Unless Somali pirates have stolen them”

    Ok the ship left China and was heading to Sydney – if there is even a remotest possibility of Somali pirates have stolen them the ship would have been going completely the wrong way

  24. Charles Manning
    Coat

    Went down

    Like the Tit anic.

  25. Mike Powers
    Heart

    Endangered species?

    This should help with the repopulation of Blue-Footed Boobies...

  26. Dave
    Paris Hilton

    To the theme to Jaws

    Jub jub Jub jub Jub jub Jub jub Jub jub.....

  27. hexacet

    a disaster of tit-anic proportions?

    "a disaster of tit-anic proportions?"

    no comment just an idea for a by-line...

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