back to article Oz driver pulled with todger in pasta sauce jar

An Oz driver has been fined AU$600 for "offensive behaviour, resisting police and disobeying a police direction" after cracking one off into a pasta sauce jar even as coppers attempted to subdue him with batons and capsicum spray following a "slow-speed" car chase through Newcastle, New South Wales. The drama began when …

COMMENTS

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  1. DrewHew
    Coat

    Put yer hands where I can see 'em!!!

    I'm cumming officer...errr....

    Mine's the one with the Jam jar in the pocket

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Meatballs

    Whensa youra Dolmio Day ?

  3. Ted Treen
    Thumb Up

    Gotta ask

    75mm.....

    Radius, diameter, circumference or depth?

  4. dervheid
    Happy

    Nobby's Beach!..

    LMFHO!

    What a Tosser / jerk / wanker!

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Measurement

    Was that 75 (or 750) mm the depth of the jar, or the diameter of its aperture? Or half its circumference, which is how they measure condoms, apparently, though they call it "diameter" or "width", confusingly?

  6. Marc Savage

    lol

    A search of Weatherley's motor uncovered "pornography, a homemade sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier".

    Its the way they mention the do that worries me.

    750mm and a jack russel is a poor jack russel.

  7. Richard Gadsden
    Go

    750mm?

    I think 750ml - the size of the jar, not the contents.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dedication

    "Weatherley gamely insisted on continuing to pleasure himself "between bouts of wrestling""

    That's dedication for you - I'm impressed. I would take my hat off to the man, but one never knows what he may try and do with it.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I think...

    ...the jar was probably 750ml.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Units

    I reckon it was 750ml... But please, recognised units. How many swimming pools?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Jack Russell......

    ....possibly to lick the pasta sauce off his meatballs.

    Can we now introduce a Jack Russell icon?

    I know.....I know.... I'm going now......

  12. Jon Double Nice

    What next for man raised by puffins?

    Exploded Cardinal reads sermon from fishtank.

  13. Bumhug
    Paris Hilton

    Shouldnt the police be up for charges as well?

    Since he didnt stop jerking off while they were beating him could be argued he was getting sexual pleasure from it. So were they an accessory to his offensive behaviour?

  14. Ian Walker
    Coat

    Allow me to be the first to say...

    What a wanker!

    Mine's the one with a copy of playboy in the inside pocket

  15. Simon

    a Jack Russell Terrier!??

    Point... lol....

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re:Well, he did, didn't he?

    And presumably cocked and fully loaded.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Nobby's Beach!

    Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

    Now I know how Dolmio make their Carbonare sauce...

    Paris: Because, well, just because.

  18. Jim

    Oh come on, we've all done it

    Anyway it was the jar's fault for being so damn sexy.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Of all the places to choose to stop ...

    "parked in a no-stopping zone near Nobby's Beach"

    Irony at its best.

  20. Joe K

    A jack russell terrier?!

    Words fail me on this one.

    Quite a day out for that mentalist.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Probably not the first but...

    When's YOUR Dolmio day?

    Mines the one with a Ragu jar in the pocket.

  22. Andy ORourke
    Unhappy

    Makes me feel hard done by

    I got a AU$695 fine for speeding (40 in a 20 zone, which is what the speed limit is when there is a school bus with lights flashing!) last time I visited relatives in OZ

  23. William Wallace
    Paris Hilton

    Nobby Beach!

    If they go and call a beach "Nobby" then its hardly surprising that the occasional Ozzie makes a perfectly understandable mistake.

    Paris, because she wouldn't have to think twice either.

  24. Master Baker
    Joke

    Genius

    What a cracking story (sorry)

  25. Adam Foxton
    Joke

    He fled through a church.

    They caught him by the organ.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Heart

    Communing with God perhaps?

    That's if your God happens to be the all-powerful FSM.

    Does it not say in the wholly (made-up) gospel - in the book of Dolmio, Chapter II, Verse 7:

    "And yay, I have tasted of his salty balls, and they did nourish me;

    I have enveloped my membership in his tomatoey firmament, and thus I was cleansed."

    It's all there if you'd only open your eyes and read it and it must be true because it's (now) written down.

  27. Alex Coxall

    Playmobile reconstruction

    Come on.

  28. Luther Blissett

    Another Lester semiotic gem

    Did we all catch it? Jon Double Nice didn't. So here are the original storylines:

    Accountant caught with fingers in the petty cash - type of thing. A frequent alternative is where shop girl occurs in the accountant position, and till in the petty cash position.

    You won't find this class of jiggery-pokery in the Sun (very often).

  29. Keith
    Thumb Up

    "capiscum" spray?

    What a corking typo. Bravo!

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    The real question is...

    Does this story have a "happy ending"? Was it seized (the jar I mean) for evidence?

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    750mm?

    size isn't everything

  32. Dave Murray
    Happy

    The important question is...

    Did he have Jack Russell on his breath?

  33. Brian
    Thumb Up

    @Andy O'Rourke

    You didn't get good value, did you?

    Remember to pack the Dolmio next time...

  34. Les Matthew
    Thumb Up

    Any relation to this guy?

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/07/31/oz_speeding_driver/

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    WTF

    And I thought Aussie were just a little bit nuts.

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Where do you get these jars?

    Strictly for research, you understand ;-)

  37. Triple B
    Happy

    Nobbys Head

    Even better, at the far end of Nobbys Beach is a lump of rock called Nobbys Head.

    You just can't make this stuff up!

  38. Paul
    IT Angle

    OMFG!

    Quote-The law enforcement operatives identified "a 750mm** jar around his penis" and said Weatherley gamely insisted on continuing to pleasure himself "between bouts of wrestling".

    A search of Weatherley's motor uncovered "pornography, a homemade sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier".- Unquote

    I laughed so much I could hardly breathe after reading that!

    "Bouts of wrestling" *chuckle*

    "homemade sex aid" *chuckle chuckle*

    "jack russell terrier" *die of laughter*

    IT? who gives a fuck?!

  39. Tim Bates
    Joke

    Nobby's beach... Could have been funnier...

    Would have been funnier if he'd been up the road a bit at Nobby's Head instead.

    Oh, and for the trivia buffs.... Nobby's Beach was where the Pasha Bulker had a rather long and unplanned stay last year.

  40. TeeCee Gold badge
    Happy

    @Triple B

    Oh yes you can! Otherwise it would be called "that beach with the nameless lump of rock at one end".

  41. oxo
    Happy

    Reminds me of "Desparately Seeking Susan"

    "What's the Jack Russel for"?

  42. sath
    Joke

    Lol

    Quite the coincidence that the police decided that he must of had a weapon because his hands were on his lap... Also quite a coincidence that he decided to choose a place nearby Nobby Beach with a jar of what has been mutually agreed as a Dolmio jar.What they also neglected to mention was the bag of Nobby's Nuts in the glove compartment, most likely salted.

    Also a coincidence that he took the 'no stopping zone' part of where he was parked too literally and continued even whilst being beaten by police with batons. Did he derive pleasure from this beating, or was he possessed of such drive and focus that it was like hitting an adult Male Rhino with a broken chair leg?

  43. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    Saucy

    He had WHAT inside Uncle Bens?

  44. Nanki Poo
    Coat

    "Would you like to blow into this bag, sir?"

    Sorry...

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