back to article Police vet live music, DJs for 'terror risk'

A dozen London boroughs have implemented a "risk assessment" policy for live music that permits the police to ban any live music if they fail to receive personal details from the performers 14 days in advance. The demand explicitly singles out performances and musical styles favoured by the black community: garage and R&B, and …

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  1. David Kelly
    Black Helicopters

    terrorism

    Just how exactly does a music event promote terrorism? Shouldn't half the population have been hacked up by crazed heavy metal fans by now if this argument held any weight?

    As for the 10,000 applications, surely this is *helping* terrorists since police will be wasting time pushing papers instead of doing something useful.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Police objected?

    "Police objected on the grounds that the names, addresses and dates of birth of the young performer could not be provided,"

    It's none of their business, innocent people do not have to answer to the police. The police should be ashamed.

  3. Scott
    Thumb Down

    Booze prices

    And with the price of booze now being decided by the good old gov looks like where all be sitting at home watching strictly come factor (sure El Reg come up with a better name).

    Do you think this will lead to Talidan style bans on certain music? (or in the Talibans case all music)

    Last Politician to leave the re-education camps please turn of the light.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So

    When I visit your country what is it that I can do ???

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Rules are totally identical with pre-1990es Bulgaria

    The rules are totally identical with pre-1990es Bulgaria. This is a positive sign actually as if I recall correctly it was the only Communist not to require the performing artists to have a valid membership in a specific performing arts union. In the USSR you also had to supply a membership ID with the application.

    So what next, we all hail our dear leader Gordon Zhivkov the president of the People's Republic of England? He needs a bit of a bold patch for likeness as well as a better talent at extracting one side benefits from "special relationships" with world powers. While the first one can be easily arranged, I somehow doubt he has the intellect for the second.

    Me coat

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    V for Vendetta Masks

    I wish I'd seen this earlier, it's a 3D mask for a V mask:

    http://www.scribd.com/doc/7738480/Downloadable-Guy-Fawkes-Mask

    Link came from Guido's Fawkes political blog http://www.order-order.com/

    that Hazel Blear was complaining about.... to a preselected audience that excluded anyone who might have an opposing viewpoint.

    Where he has some nice photos of the police arresting them for wearing a V mask, irony.

  7. Duncan Hothersall
    Heart

    "I would doubt that's factually correct"

    Now then Mr Sharkey, what's this that just fell out of your pocket?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Quell Suprise

    If this is what senior officers of the Met spend their time doing its no wonder that they dont have the time to spend providing oversight to stop their men blowing away brazilian electricians.

    The 'officer' and I use the term in the loosest sense surely deserves the name Plod.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    "Basement"? Think you mean Bashment.....

    That is all

    Paris - cos I swear I saw her doing the "dutty wine" in a South London dancehall bash a while back.

  10. Daniel Mitchell

    More Racist Feds?

    Again and again the met either make stupid decisions or are forced to carry them out.

    The reporter is spot on and has highlighted in yellow the information that counts. This is an attack on music events involving the black community, because black people cause all the hassle eh?

    Over the past decade more and more activities have been either removed completely or red taped up, especially for the youth. Now they want the names and addresses of performers? Please. The promoter is who the buck stops at, who pays everyone and organises everything. On these facts alone they can trace all the event details. If the Met claim they can't then the promoter is stone walling them.

    15 years since the stephan lawerance thing and still the feds are racist. Its disgusting

  11. blue
    Stop

    The Unacceptably High Price of Safety

    The terrorists want to destroy our way of life. That's what we're told. And yet here we are with the government watching our every move, stopping us from reading certain things - being exposed to certain words and ideas; wanting to curb the drinking of alcohol; puntitive crackdowns on unnaceptable forms of sexuality; movements to stop certain 'language' on TV - curbs on 'offensive' speech; curtailing and banning musical performances - restrictions on expressions of our culture.

    I can't be the only one thinking that we *might as well* be living under the fucking Taliban.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ahh

    The filth now cracking down on music too, we'll add it to the list of things then, except this time they're doing it to protect black people from themselves apparently... Interesting. Of course if a normal person said "we shouldn't let them black people gather and listen to their rap music" that person would probably get nicked for inciting racial hatred.

  13. The Other Steve

    Good plan gov, keep it up

    Because once you've effectively finished banning booze, music and other forms of enjoyment, made it impossible for people to have a relaxing toke because of random searches and sniffer dog patrols and your faith based anti drug policies, and banned anything entertaining from appearing on the television in case it offends someone, the UK populace will have nothing left to do except sit at home and ponder what an enormous pack of c*nts you are, with predicable results ranging from a humiliating defeat at the next election to a bloody and brutal revolution, depending how many of the house bound dissatisfied get bored enough to switch over to BBC Parliament and watch "democracy" taking place.

    Either way, goodbye, it wasn't nice knowing you, please don't come back any time soon.

  14. Iain
    Pirate

    Police State UK

    You never know, one day the police might actually get around to arresting people for minor offense such as.... burglary, theft, mugging etc.

  15. Ash
    Black Helicopters

    WTF?

    This is some crazy stuff. I'm a bit lost for words really. When does the revolution come again?

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    bashment jaxx

    in this case bashment is correct, not 'basement'. bashment == dancehall

  17. Paul
    Thumb Down

    So the terrorists are winning then?

    Slowly but surely the paranoid morons are ruining our society. Soon you will need a permit for leaving your home.

    The terrorists must be laughing their socks off at the way they are crippling us without putting themselves at any risk whatsoever.

    Unfortunately we have allowed a special breed to be crated - the terrorist risk assessors. They HAVE to find risks even if they do not exist because if they don't then they are out of a job. End result - we all suffer for no reason other than to keep a few morons in a job.

    What a sad country this is turning into.

  18. Steve Davies Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Risk Assesments....

    You will soon need one just to get out of bed in the morning.

    RIP the last vestiges of common sense left in our so beloved NuLab Government who by the way couldn't organise the proverbial piss up in a brewery. Of sorry, there is sometheng else thay want to ban. No more Breweries = No more people getting pissed and there goes all that nice police overtime.

    Paris becasuse she won't be able to hear her fav tunes and have a drink at the same time

  19. Anthony
    Stop

    Word macros

    Tried the Word document, and OpenOffice warned that it was a security risk as it contained macros (which it kindly disabled for me). I wonder whether the Met show me their risk assessment for using Microsoft Word as a document creator?

  20. Red Bren
    Unhappy

    If you tolerate this then your children will be next

    Oops, too late...

  21. Dan
    Flame

    Great

    "The terrorists want to destroy our way of life. That's what we're told. And yet here we are with the government watching our every move, stopping us from reading certain things - being exposed to certain words and ideas; wanting to curb the drinking of alcohol; puntitive crackdowns on unnaceptable forms of sexuality; movements to stop certain 'language' on TV - curbs on 'offensive' speech; curtailing and banning musical performances - restrictions on expressions of our culture."

    What he said, all this is getting damn scary...

    Flames cos paper combusts at 451 fahrenheit...

  22. Dave
    Stop

    title required

    to describe this along with other things that this gov/political police force are forcing onto us all in the guise of fighting terrorism

    Disgusting!

  23. prb

    2 weeks notice?

    as an indie musician in NYC for 20 years, I can say, a lot of times, the club or promoter only tells us we have a show one week in advance. Then due to sudden cancellations, some bands may only have 24 hours notice. And when on tour, it's been known to just drop by a club and play without any advance notice. Hopefully Lord Obama will save us from the ways of the evil brits!

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    dumb.

    dumb dumb, dumb dumb, dumb.

    Its not every day that you see the stupidest thing you've ever seen.

  25. Niall
    Coat

    Going to need a bigger form

    for when the National Symphony Orcrestra headline with So Solid Crew.

  26. Dennis O'Neill

    The only terror is in the Mets' heads

    It never ceases to amaze me how often politicians and the police complain bitterly about how they're portrayed by the "meejuh." They complain that young people fail to connect with politics, that youth are cynical about it all because of the way politics and the law are portrayed by the "meejuh."

    Yet none of them realise that the reason young people are refusing to vote is because the politicians themselves are such cynical, duplicitous morons who tramp all over the freedom of young people to do what they want.

    Would you vote for someone as breathtakingly mendacious as that Eyles person? Someone who blatantly lies about the evidence literally in front of his face? And he thinks WE'RE cynical??

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    note

    this seems to have nothing to do with "new" laws from NuGov (NuTory and NuLabour) but the filth abusing the rules they already have in place and intimidating local councils (not that local councils need much intimidating when it comes to stomping on black or brown folk or young folk.)

  28. Simon
    Joke

    Watch out.. that guitar might be loaded..

    They've just handed Billy Bragg a decade's worth of incentive to write new stuff.

  29. Guy Herbert
    Pirate

    And what the hell business is it of councils either?

    Democratic control my foot. This means the control of the bureaucrats in licensing departments. No election involved.

    Even if it were, what makes a gig on private property any business at all of the elected authorities, unless it is a direct nuisance to someone else?

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    shenanigans

    "...that permits the police to ban any live music if they fail to receive personal details from the performers 14 days in advance."

    Really? There is no evidence of that in this article, so wheres that from?

    "Licensing of live music is nominally under the democratic control of local authorities. However, few councillors dare contradict the advice of the constabulary - even when such advice exceeds the police's authority, as it does here."

    Yeah, I call BS on the first part, that councils never go against the advice of the police. And as for the second bit, I don't see how the police have exceeded their "Authority" by asking questions relevant to foruming a risk assessment.

    The way forward is not a police state, its a health and safety one.

    But it must be because of TERRORISTS, Feargal Sharkey said so.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Oh dear...

    I watched V for Vendetta for the first time earlier today, then read this article. Worrying.

  32. Avian
    Flame

    The next NuLabour...

    apologist to try and tell people that "this is not a Police state" wants to have this inserted where the Sun doesn't shine.

    The bunch of fucktards running the show here are a far bigger threat to this country than Al Qeada could ever be.

  33. Tim J
    Thumb Up

    Fair enough

    If only we had an ID card system then everyone attending a mass attendance event such as a musical performance could simply produce their card, or better have their fingerprints scanned - this way known troublemakers could be singled out beforehand, and anyone else making trouble at the event could easily be identified.

    It's just crime prevention, nothing more, nothing less.

  34. Ben Boyle
    Go

    Jesus wept!

    Leaders of the free world? Ha! Not bloody likely.

    Not sure the US is any better but the rot that set in with Nu-Labour is a major factor in my current plans to depart this "Sceptred Isle"

    "Go", because that's what anyone with any sense should be planning on doing.

    Would the last sane, non-PC, non-NIMBY, non-Draconian person to least please turn out the light?

  35. Jonathan McColl
    Coat

    Ssshhhhh!

    Please stop publishing articles like this one. You are undermining our efforts to show how terrible America is.

    We might just start an underground music movement (down in the bashment or out in the garage) and have cells and secret handshakes and we'll talk Lolspeak to fox the Special Branch bugging.

    Mine's the one with the balaclava...

  36. b
    Stop

    tossers!

    sorry, i could have written something more intelligent and thoughtful, i'm currently playing on a pirate radio station and have been in and out of the music biz for 20 years..have released 4 pieces of vinyl as well..

    ..but why should i?

    they are just TOSSERS.

    never mind about the mythical "al queda"...the POLICE and the GOVERNMENT are the biggest threats to our way of life!!!

    cheers,

    bill

    p.s. stuff and nonsense: http://www.eupeople.net/forum

  37. John Styles

    Back in the DDR

    This reminds me strangely about this documentary about DJing in East Germany - you had to pass an exam and obey the '60-40' rule. Actually, come to think of it, East Germany in this respect sounds slightly less repressive...

    http://www.archive.org/details/Berlinshire_at_the_GDR_Disco20408

  38. RichardB

    re:Dumb

    "Its not every day that you see the stupidest thing you've ever seen."

    No?

    Read any newspapers lately?

  39. jayeola

    Big bruva massive

    Hear me nowwwwwww! Brat-brat-tat-tat-tat in a CCTV, bogus authority, big bruvvaaa stylleeeeeee!!

    What's next for the artist? Submitting DNA before you write or sing your next song, "just in case Al-kayaeeeeda could use your rhymes for terrorist progaganda"?

    I mean FFS. I used to take the piss out of Eastern Block Nations with authorities this silly but in the UK?

    Big Daddy MC Lyrical Black Geeza and the Crew, Terrorists?

    This really can't be true. If it -is- then the law and all that make it are asses.

    Yeah, yah get me innit,

    check the rhyme - Jihhad innit?

    'cos I'm MC Al-Kayeeeda

    and I'm the one the ladies neeeeda!

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Simpsons and Political Correctness

    (offtopic)

    I just watched Simpsons in Channel 4. A section was missing, the part where Homer says "I am the god ganesh, I am angered by this wedding"

    I do a quick search to remind myself that I'm not foolled and I find this thread:

    http://www.eurogamer.net/forum_thread_posts.php?thread_id=110566

    I've noticed this again and again, parts of the Simpsons cut for the British audience that are actually inoffensive and I've seen many times everywhere else.

    You can see how bad it's getting when the Simpsons is considered too offensive for British TV.

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Anyone got a spare desert island I can move to?

    WTF?????? ok, so having a live gig now brings you to the attention of our "beloved" Police Force? Hang on, just who the f*** is being protected from who? As other posters have said, we can't drink, we can't go out at night (not because you'll get beaten up, but because coppers assume you're up to no good), you can't do the horizontal fandango in any other way than horizontally, under the covers with the lights off and we can't say what is on our mind.

    Even the f***ing IRA weren't this bad... at least you were allowed to get drunk! It's a sodding awful feeling knowing I have more to fear from the Govt and it's gang of Enforcers than I've ever had to fear from any terrorist.

    "Come Mr Tailban, Tally me live DJs,

    Freedom gone an' me wanna go home

    Come Mr Tailban, Tally me live DJs,

    Police State's come an' me wanna go home

    It's six foot, seven foot, eight foot PUNCH!

    Coppers' come and me wan' go home

    Six foot, seven foot, eight foot ZAPPP

    Copper's got a taser and me on the floor"

    Yes I know the last line doesn't scan properly but it's late and the whole business has depressed hell out of me :(

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Careful here

    What is the source of Sharkey's (and the Reg's headline writer's) suggestion that this police action is done for "anti-terrorism" purposes? The Form 696 you reproduce only mentions "crime and disorder".

    If it isn't about "anti-terrorism" , it looks like you are just crying wolf, and thus undermines your reporting of cases where the police genuinely *do* misuse anti-terror legislation.

  43. foo_bar_baz
    Coat

    what would happen

    should they get inundated with forms a la "singstar with me mates"?

  44. Chris G Silver badge

    Dear Met Police

    Please could I have your definition of terrorism?

    I fail to see how music events are seriously likely to be included in terrorist outrages that may be perpetrated by the performers, I have however, been present at a number of musical outrages over the years that have been perpetrated by the performers and in some cases Guantanamo would have been insufficient punishment for them.

    The fuzz in the UK seriously need a reality fix, all that sugar in the doughnuts is rotting their brains. Arseholes!

  45. Christoph Silver badge
    Flame

    Are there *any* limits to their insane control freakery?

    We used to think it was bad when the Lord Chamberlain had to approve plays.

    We thought things were getting better when that was abolished.

    But now only musicians who are approved of by the police will be allowed to perform?

    So no musician will dare ever say anything controversial, or disapproving of authority, because if they do then they will be forbidden to play music.

  46. Dave
    Thumb Down

    Any article tastes better with addrd "terror"

    What a load of nonsense. I can't see anything on that form that mentions terrorism, that’s just an attempt to get a sexier headline for what is in essence a no-story.

    And predictably the net furnishes a line of people who wring their hands at something that has been the way it is for ages, does not effect them at all and which they only take an interest in because someone tells them to.

    Event A: A classical music concert held in a church hall

    Event B: A Garage/RAP face off competition in a nightclub with a 24 hr license.

    Do you think the potential for disorder/violence is likely to be different for one than the other? Do you think it might be prudent to have more police at one than the other? In short are the RISKS to the public greater for one or the other?

    Or more specifically if 2 artists whose followers have a predisposition for violence towards each other are going to be at the same venue you don't think that SHOULD factor in to how an event is policed.

    How do you think the police decide what resources to dedicate to an event without having some sort of information about its content, how many people are going, for how long, to do what, will there be alcohol, what is the likely demographic makeup of that group, what sort of crime is prevalent among that group, what problems have arose from similar sized and themed events in the past.

    Or maybe its none of the police's business and everyone should be allowed to get on with it. And you'll respect the freedom of someone to drunkenly bottle you and walk away laughing because there’s not a copper within 5 miles and there’s none of that intrusive unwanted CCTV making you feel like a criminal.

    The article clearly says, in spite of a bias so strong it qualifies as a riptide, the police are asking, you don't have to give the information but if you don't then why be surprised when they object. If you applied for an events license and didn't know how many people were going, or when it'd be over, or what security you would have at the venue would you expect anything else?

    Its not the government blaming everything on the fight against terrorism, its the journalist. Very poor article indeed.

  47. Chris Simmons
    Black Helicopters

    re: So the terrorists are winning then?

    By Paul Posted Tuesday 11th November 2008 16:43 GMT

    "Slowly but surely the paranoid morons are ruining our society. Soon you will need a permit for leaving your home."

    Haven't you heard of the ID Card yet?

  48. Stewart Haywood

    @Jesus wept!

    This sort of nonsense would not fly in the US.

    The city that I live in would require a permit for an event in a public park but this is just in the nature of a tax and to allow the booking of a public venue. The permit also holds the organiser responsible for clearing trash after the event. They certainly don't want to know what sort of music or who is playing.

    The outcome of this sort of heavy handed regulation will be civil disobedience, eventually on a massive scale. You can push Brits about and piss them off for a long time and then, one day, they will stand fast and be pushed no further. When it happens, and it will, it will not be good to be a politician or senior plod.

    I left years ago.

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    It's Gangsta Mann...

    well, it was...

    till the State Music Industry Police kicked the door in and (used state sanctioned apropriate force)stunned/koshed and dragged the DJ out by his ankles, smashed all the vynal and wiped all the harddrives just in case there was anything inapropriate on them...(like legally paid for music).

    Looks like Maggies ideas for taxing everything including fresh air will come to fruition...

    Anyone noticed that all the ('other nation' nationals) people are fleeing london...(they must luv BorisJ). I mean its soo bad now you trip over (cheshire cats) in the nightclub (whilst fighting through thick clouds of ganja smoke), its terrible. What happened to OUR nightclubs//country ????

    I think i'll move the St.Peterburg, a much safer place to live. no problems with foot in mouth, whilst at the night club(or of draconian state police dragging the DJ(or the punters) out the back for a spot of re-Education regarding the rules of the house).

  50. nav
    Thumb Down

    'black on black shootings'

    ---"Have a look at the papers and tell me where the black-on-black shootings happen? They're around the night time economy," said Eyles.---

    surprised no-one has picked up on this not only blatant racist comment but also ignorant understanding of causes of violent crime

    indeed logically since the majority of britons are white and hence most crime will involve white people would anyone talk about white on white crime? no , because it is not only irrelevant but racist.

    regarding the actual story - if enough people resist and are unco-operative no way the police can manage it, e.g. what's to stop people from lying on the form and putting down 'classical music' as opposed to 'grime'

  51. druck Silver badge
    Stop

    Music today, protest tomorrow, or today near parliament

    You have to fill out such a form for music today, but it will be to protest tomorrow, but hold on it's already today if it's anywhere near parliament.

    Its just like the form the Chinese had to fill out to protest during the Olympics, automatically denied, and the now spot light is off the country they will be participating in China's much longer version of 42 days.

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Papieren, bitte.

    "Soon you will need a permit for leaving your home."

    It's called (in the Government's control-freak wet dreams) the National ID card which will start off being voluntary, but if it's allowed to exist for a couple of years will become mandatory to carry.

  53. cropchops
    Stop

    Lazy, wrongheaded

    Why do they need policing ?

    All this seems like really lazy police work - get everyone else to do it for them! It's not like lists of events and artists aren't posted in newspapers, if they did want to do this sort of racial profiling.

    They complain about bureucracy, yet their solution is another form, brilliant! No wonder Police Intelligence is an oxymoron.

  54. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Why...

    ...doesn't this stuff get on the front page of the BBC, Grauniad, Times etc?

    OK...I might have answered my own question there with those 3 examples, but, seriously, why do I only ever read this stuff on El Reg?

    ps: I've not lived in the UK for a long time, and even if my chosen "democratic" (voting machine problems are YOU fault) country, it does seem a lot better than U-Guantanamo-K

  55. Iain
    Black Helicopters

    A big WTF

    "Music promotions attract people who have a propensity to use violence."

    Did no-one else see that? I mean seriously, huh? Where did that come from? I am a musician of many years standing and can say that this is the most ridiculous statement about music I have ever read.

    And I can freely say that when I meet Detective Superintendent Dave Eyles at a music promotion I will thoroughly duff him up, Queensbury style.

  56. Alan W. Rateliff, II
    Paris Hilton

    To a man with a hammer...

    To a man looking for terrorists, everyone looks like a terrorist. Or a black murderer. Or a threat to public safety. Or a threat to national security. Or a...

    Hold on, there's a knock at the door.

    Paris, she knows not to answer the knock at the door.

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Try this with a folk evening

    Where - Upstairs bar of the Newts Danglies Pub

    Type of music - Folk mainly but who knows

    Date/Time - Friday from 1930

    Performers - who ever turns up with a guitar.

  58. Dave
    Flame

    @ Peter Mitchell

    Doesn't seem to matter does it?

    If you say terrorist + police the loonies wont bother with the facts, just have a good old rant.

  59. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge
    Joke

    evil sinful rhythm type music

    Britain needs more Goons, and I don't mean of the Talibans-in-nanny's-clothing variety that dreamed up this scheme.

    Repetitive beats? Only those administered by the State, THX1138!

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Halo

    not suggesting a flood of bogus applications

    But it would be nice to warn the plod if The Lyrical Terrorist was planning to play at a venue or seven in your locality. I'm not suggesting wasting police time at all, you see... just suggesting that they are *at best* wasting their own time and taxpayer's money with this nonsense.

    AC, natch.

  61. anarchic-teapot
    Joke

    50 messages already

    And not one from the obligatory smug expat to say "Emigrate, you fools!"?

    Makes me glad I left 25 years ago.

  62. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    To quote Leslie Fish...

    "And as for politicians, well, need anymore be said?

    Their fingers all are in the till, their skulls are filled with lead;

    You'll never vote the bastards out, for guess who runs the game?

    And no use hollering for the law - the cops are just the same!"

    Mine's the coat that I picked up and ran out the back door with (along with my guitar) while the cops were kicking down the front door...

  63. Michael Palmer

    There Must Be a Mash-up of Greek Words for This...

    Bureaugarchy?

  64. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Book burning next

    and the withdrawal of "non British" peoples right to fly the Union Flag. (note: no apostrophe - http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/11/11/apostrophe_abuse/).

    Heil Braun!

  65. Frederick Karno
    Coat

    Nallocks !!!

    Detective Superintendent Dave Eyles proves with his comments he is totally unfit for the work he does his superiors should also resign en bloc they work for us we pay for them and this is what we get........

    Jumped up jobs worths who are abusing the law......and driving a bigger wedge between the community and themselves.

    If they were out on the beat they might prevent some real crime it isn't as though London is without its problems you have to ask yourself where will it end ....our nation is being riven apart by namby pamby government blaming terrorism for everything.

    Mines the one with the permit to breathe and a fixed penalty notice for malicious standing on the cracks in the pavement notice....in the pocket

  66. Simon Harvey
    Alert

    wtf? UK Music chief Feargal Sharkey?

    *please* tell me this is the same Feargal Sharkey that was the 80s crooner singing about "A Good Heart"?

    omg - it seems so: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feargal_Sharkey

  67. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    20 floors above the dark streets of the city..

    I guess The Protomen are banned then.

    Next up: Gordon Brown rescinds the right to vote, on the basis that people may vote for candidates who don't have their best interests at heart.

    ..Oh, wait.

    It's a good plan actually. Create such a repressive government system that normal people are driven to commit acts of terrorism themselves out of desperation. Increase the oppresiveness of the government further and further, making the situation worse and worse until such a point absolute martial law is the only option left.

    England Prevails.

  68. Ian
    Go

    How to fix it?

    Any piint in starting a political party "Feck of and leave us alone" party, or some such. Or is that just more bullshit?

    Any takers? Suggestions?

    Perhaps a forum to discuss? Or is that just talk?

    Help. I'm going mad

  69. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    'Terrorists' 5239, Our Way of Life 0

    All the more amazing since they were all own goals. Astonishing result for such a small investment in chapatti flour and hair dye.

  70. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Class Action Suit

    or the "suing the police" derivative....

    there's Discrimination

    Incrimination without evidence

    just for starters.

    Sue em!

    I would but I am busy working out why forms exist that require a D.O.B. but the box is labelled for office use only because some people are "sensitive" !!!

  71. matt

    Terrorist or B on B?

    This seems to have absolutely nothing to do with terrorism

  72. Richard
    Thumb Down

    I thought it was november

    '"Live music is now a threat to the prevention of terrorism", he concluded.'

    I coulda sworn it was november, not april...

    You gotta be kidding me right?

    Words fail me.

    -- Richard

  73. Poopie McStinklestein
    Black Helicopters

    I've often wondered

    I've often wondered how a "No-bullshit party" would do. Sensible treatment of motorists, IT issues, privacy, etc.

    Someone post a GPG public key here, and see who responds. :)

  74. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    New laws override previous laws?

    Am I mistaken to assume that with the introduction of the new "law" the state intends to take away the freedom of expression?

    Should the law not be changed before a new law restricts the rights that an older law grants?

  75. Alan W. Rateliff, II
    Paris Hilton

    @lain, AC

    Good points. Is that not like the bans on dancing as the work of the Devil? "We must ban music, because music is the work of terrorists. Unless it's created for the patron government."

    And I suppose this would ruin Jazz club impromptu jams?

    Pretty soon comics will have to file their routines with the governing regulatory authority before they can perform. Well, there goes live improvisation. Holy Hell.

    Paris, she can't take much more before she breaks, cap'n!

  76. Michael
    Stop

    Jilted Generation

    If anything, I see a future of musicians going back underground.. music will be spread via CD, tapes and partys(concerts) will be done at short notice in order to escape police attention.....

    ...hang on a min.... This WAS the nineties!?!

  77. Liam

    ffs...

    "Music promotions attract people who have a propensity to use violence. That's not speculation. We have a duty to prevent that from happening." - wtf? you mean like town in the evening and pubs in general? can we expect us to sign into pubs/clubs now too? how often have you heard of a DJ/musician attacking their clients?

    i call bullshit and erosion of civil liberties!

    of course south london (and london in general to some extent) have fucked everything up for the rest of us - as usual. dance events by their very nature are far more friendly environments than pubs in general - mainly due to the E generation. of course now south londoners are all wannabe hip hoppers and are such pussies they need to be tooled up to go out. bloody southerners :(

    @ "When I visit your country what is it that I can do ??" - everything we can do and much more... you would get much better benefits than us and a house which we wont. much better to be none-english in england these days :(

    @"So what next, we all hail our dear leader Gordon Zhivkov the president of the People's Republic of England?" - i think we have good cause to legislate against fucking scottish people running england from now on (no offence against scotland - but i dont want you running me - we dont run you now)... bloody brown and that BLiar asshole (also born in scotland). of couse the english before havent been so great (major and maggie ffs) but at least they wanted whats best for <certain areas of> england (i live in the east midlands so im screwed... we get no cash from anyone!)

    do we get to call coppers iPlods now? the i could stand for internet or could be ironic for 'intelligence'

  78. ShaggyDoggy

    Way of life

    Seems to me it's not the terrorists destroying our way of life, it those in power to protect us from them that are in fact destroying it.

  79. Alan Fisher

    a Coppers *ahem* enjoyable dream

    They are being given free rein, under anti-terror legislation to creat what one could term (before the anti-indecency nazis ban the term) a Copper's wet dream.

    Every citizen sitting at home with their hands on the table and never going out

    Crime is reduced to zero and the coppers can have a brew at the station and catch up with the mountains of paperwork....

    I'm so glad I left Britain, I really am!

  80. Damn Yank

    come on over...

    We have plenty of room in Wyoming/the Dakotas. The weather is probably similar to the UK, and you'll get your very own assault rifle to play with in the private 400 acres you can pick up for the price of a 500 sq foot London flat...

  81. Tim Eslip

    Eyes wide shut

    It's indicative of the times in which we live that, despite the expansion of draconian, liberty-crushing legislation and the use of public funds to bail out the very banks that are repossesing homes, it takes a controversial decision in X Factor to raise public anger to the point of questions being asked in the house of commons. We get the government we deserve.

  82. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Beatles

    You think they would of every preformed if the UK had this mind set in the 60's ??

  83. Rob
    Stop

    nevermind garage...

    what about acid skiffle?

  84. Rob
    Coat

    This just in...

    Coldplay in secret terrorist gig gathering

  85. Throatwobbler Mangrove
    Alert

    I think everything is complete reasonable

    Have a look at the papers and tell me where the white-on-white stabbings happen. They're around the night time economy.

  86. andy
    Unhappy

    No Dancing licence

    I used to DJ at a bar that didnt have a dancing licence -- the council would NOT permit dancing on the premises.

    It was both funny and frustrating when we used to build up the music, people would be getting more and more merry and then slowly but surely (hopefully) feet would start tapping and people would start swaying until a few bodies would start moving kind of rhythmically.....

    ....then the bouncer would come down and tell each one of them they'd better stoppit or they're out...

    Ridiculous.

  87. Andy

    but then...

    without doing any research myself, these stories could just be a way to get rid of the Daily Mail reading section of the british population to other shores?

  88. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  89. Hans
    Stop

    So, when do we start burning the books?

    I know where this is heading:

    Next will come a prohibition on assembling in groups of more than three.

    So if you go down the pub with your mates, make sure that one lags behind and sits at a separate table.

    Well they have justification:

    "Larger groups attract people who have a propensity to use violence. That's not speculation. We have a duty to prevent that from happening."

    And then . . . we burn the books.

  90. bmuckknock
    Stop

    Great Britain - What kind of country have you become

    Seriously.

    Where is your right of free speech.

    Where is your right of living anonymous.

    Where the hell did you put all the books by your most famous author, George Orwell...

  91. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    not just music?

    I seem to recall, before leaving the UK, our local council banning a veterans parade due to health and safety and inadequate notice to prepare a risk assessment or somesuch nonsense.

    I'm sure the local councils excuse there was the same, 'we didn't really we are just misundertsood'

  92. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Unbelievable...if it wasn't the Met.

    Dear Lord, who thought this up, and why?

    Having been involved in promoting late night events for most of the past 5 years I'm very glad I've left the country. The amount of problems this scheme would have caused me would have been huge. For example: it's a common occurrence if your have over 20 DJs playing in one venue that one will have to pull out at the last minute, requiring a replacement act to be arranged with minimal notice. While this is apparently not compulsary I can easily imagine that every venue in London will have to start implementing this due to the threat of losing their liscense, so it becomes the <i>de facto</i> policy, without any kind of legislative process.

    What will be the results? More illegal parties in squatted venues for the more controversial acts - by their nature squat parties do not have a license. Therefore there will be less safety for the crowds attending the events, due to unsafe venues and less security staff. Oh, and a free market for narcotics to be sold, attracting shadier characters.

    What really shocks me is the inclusion of "bashment, RnB, garage" for examples of music...not particularly subtle. Hey, why not remove "e.g"and have done with it? I know the Met aren't renowned for their subtlety, but are we actually seeing an exapmle document from the policy stage which hasn't had a few key words removed before dissemination to the wider public?

    Overall results? Driving a music scene further underground, yet more feelings of alienation towards the police within the black community and less safety for those who enjoy music. Well done, Met!

  93. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  94. Glyn
    Pirate

    @AC

    "dumb dumb, dumb dumb, dumb.

    Its not every day that you see the stupidest thing you've ever seen"

    Wait till tomorrow, the next big dumb idea is just waiting to be sprung

  95. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @So, when do we start burning the books?

    January if the book happens to contain extreme porn images.

    Probably the January after if it just contains descriptions of brutalisation for the intention of sexual gratification.

    Then maybe the January after that just for books containing ideas that the aristocrats dislike?

  96. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    @ Liam

    Slightly off-topic, but I feel obliged to challenge this:

    "@ "When I visit your country what is it that I can do ??" - everything we can do and much more... you would get much better benefits than us and a house which we wont. much better to be none-english in england these days :("

    This is absolute bullshit Liam - did you generate this using the Twat-O-Tron?

    Surprised you didn't mention that none-too-subtle euphemism of racists everywhere, the "indigenous" population.

    Coming here from overseas does not get you a free house, benefits and all the rest of the tripe the papers you read tell you it does.

    For asylum-seekers (which you are apparently referring to) it may, but also potentially gets you many other "benefits" such as rejection and deportation to death/torture, but that doesn't mean just anyone visiting this country does it?

    Coming here from overseas gets you ridiculous visa fees and a belief by some (like you) that you must be here just to sponge all of our benefits/houses/women/wheelybin collections/right to put a St George's flag on our fire engines/etc...

    Always somebody else's fault this country is rubbish though isn't it?

    Being "none-english" (SIC) in this country these days is certainly not "better" unless you consider being the first large group to be forced to carry ID cards an advantage.

    Think before you spout this inaccurate bile.

    Rant over

  97. Ted Treen
    Unhappy

    @AC the first:- A correction

    "It's none of their business, innocent people do not have to answer to the police."

    Oh dear. Where have you been for the last 11.5 years?

    That was certainly true in those halcyon days of freedom (before Summer 1997), but since then, the current Gestapo Reichsfuhrer Whacky Jacqui has decided there are NO innocent people - there are convicts and those whose crimes** have yet to be uncovered.....

    **"Crimes" involve:-

    wheelie-bin offences of a non-sexual nature,

    dissent (shortly to be a capital offence),

    owning/using a mobile phone, computer etc., without letting the stalwart guardians of our precious freedoms sweep it at least once a day,

    and

    any other thing which she/it deems or will deem to be un-NuLab....

    Just as the SA were Adolf's little enforcers, we now have Plod as the enforcers for Whacky Jacqui & Clown Brown...

  98. Ted Treen
    Alien

    @bmucknock

    "Seriously."

    Unfortunately it is, otherwise it would be a laughing matter

    "Where is your right of free speech."

    Rapidly vanishing, under the diktat of Die Neues Arbeites Partei

    "Where is your right of living anonymous."

    See answer above

    "Where the hell did you put all the books by your most famous author, George Orwell..."

    They appear to have been used as training manuals for political apparatchiks and Volkspolizei

    Doubleplusungood!

  99. Liam

    @ AC

    you spineless chicken shit.... moan at me then hide your name from me...

    how do you define indigenous? i am most likely anglo saxon decent - so im not indiginous am i? or am i? its surely all a matter of dates.

    i just think in this current climate where my pension is now worthless, im funding millionairres at the banks why the fuck are we importing people we cannot afford to feed, clothe or employ... this is simple economics.... i wouldnt expect a doley mate to put up and feed someone else so surely its time now to say enough is enough.

    sure, there are many asylum seekers - what %? very small i guess... im more against economic migration - basically acting like locusts and leeching from better off sources.

    i used to live in hull... the armpit of the east. very few polish but to be honest the polish have a good rep in the UK... they work much harder than we do! its the massive problems that are caused by the ones in hull. many reported rapes, racism (yes, even tho you THINK IM RACIST [bollocks btw - check out my history with the female of the species - many mixed race/none-white] i see many of these eastern blockers abusing the local black population), the many 'no english' signs on council funded shops/meeting places.

    vast areas of hull have now been taken over by immigrants. at this current situation of few jobs and shit pay why the hell are we even allowing anyone in? i have nothing against foreign people at all... i just dont see why towns like hull are now overrun with jobless immigrants. the fact that the locals cant get jobs as there arent enough yet many new people arrive looking for work.

    of course i guess you live in some leafy subburb down south - that takes very few immigrants (many richer councils pay poorer ones to take their quota)

    now, i maybe should have been more careful with my words but after being sick as a dog with food poisoning for the last 5 days i wasnt in too much of a good mood.

    there is no denying the terrible treatment of SOME locals over immigrants. i could site many examples such as the woman claiming 13k/month in benefits, immigrants being bought CARS (no, this isnt bullshit i know one of the guys who used to arrange the deals) and of course the obligatory 'no english' on the new immigrant council funded shops (yes, this isnt bullshit either)

    im no daily mail/express reader, i just go on what i know what what ive seen. im not a racist - im trying to stop this country becoming a trainwreck - and immigration is one of the MANY areas we need to look at!

  100. Soruk
    Coat

    Just imagine the paperwork

    ...for a performance by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, complete with large choir (think Beethoven's 9th symphony).

    Mine's the one with the violin in the pocket.

  101. Andrew Orlowski (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Why doesn't this stuff get on the front page of the BBC, Grauniad, Times etc?

    They're too busy Twittering:

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/11/13/twitter_radio/

  102. Gavin
    Alert

    Open your eyes doubters

    If you doubt this article, have a read of this story that did the rounds a few months back, when the police cancelled a babyshambles gig:

    http://www.nme.com/news/babyshambles/39056

    Here's an excerpt:

    Chief Superintendent Julian Kirby, divisional commander of Wiltshire Police, said: "We carried out an analysis of what Pete Doherty and his band does. "What he does as part of his routine is to gee up the crowd. They speed up and then slow down the music and create a whirlpool effect in the crowd. "They [the crowd] all get geed up and then they start fighting."

    Seriously? Babyshambles fans are pretty tame, hardly something for operation trident to worry about.

    Does it still seem like El Reg are making a mountain out of a molehill?

    Face -> Palm.

  103. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Open your eyes doubters

    I prefer my reading of that passage,

    "[SS] Chief Superintendent Julian [The Nazi] Kirby, divisional commander of Wiltshire Police, said: 'We carried out an analysis of what Pete Doherty and his band does. 'What he does as part of his routine is to gee up the crowd. They speed up and then slow down the music and create a whirlpool effect in the crowd. 'They [the crowd] all get geed up and then they start fighting.''"

    It's not that I think that the Met are a group of Racist, Fascist, Pigs, it's that I know they are.

  104. J
    Black Helicopters

    Seriously, WTF?

    Quite amazing, indeed.

    It's funny, how things seem to be converging now. The "Western" countries adopting lots from the book of the communist (or otherwise) dictatorships for social/political control, while letting savage capitalism grow to ever greater heights. Fascism, innit? At the same time, the likes of China do the same, in slightly reversed directions; getting wilder in the capitalism, a little less "out there" in the repression (but with mostly same results).

  105. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This year

    I'll visit Russian. . So how long does it take to get a visa to the UK ??.

  106. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Grime & Punishment

    As an organisation (see www.blessedlovestudios.co.uk)that works with black youth, who make grime music and are linked to so called gangs, we were truely shocked, but not suprised by this article. The young people we work with are increasingly recent converts or sympathetic to Islam. Some of them use the term 'Taliban' to describe thier militancy and are openly hostile to the police and state. Perhaps this would convince many that these measures are appropriate. The truth however is that these same young people are on the whole extreamly vulnerable, loving towards thier families and communities, and passionate about thier art. Thier music is a reflection of the brutal realities of thier day to day lives (getting stop and searched by the police, being excluded from education & training and a constant fear of death from street rivals) Most have spent time in the secure estate (Feltham Young Offenders Institution has been the main recruiting grounds for street gangs for a long time, and a steady stream of alienated, disafected young people are constantly being referred too them by our criminal justice system)

    Measures like these serve to remind black youth that they are always under suspision, and if they insist on getting together into groups and express thier anger (or anything else) they will be branded 'terrorists'. This was recently highlighted by Newsnights Jeremy Paxman asking Dizzie Rascal 'do you consider yourself to be British' over a debate about Barack Obama. The assumption if you are a young black person in the UK and speak non standard english you are somehow open to having your national identity questioned.

    We know young people are very sensitive to 'projections' from those around them, and if society in general label them terrorists, criminals or just thugs...thats what they will be. Each generation seems to forget that from Teddy Boys to Punks, young people have attempted to 'shock' and unsettle the status quo. Long may this continue.

    Listen to the tracks 'Positive' and 'Reality' on our ReverbNation player (on the right of this blog) by one of our artists Jahmai for an illustration of how young people feel. See our website

    http://blessedlovestudios.co.uk

  107. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    @Open your eyes doubters 17:04 GMT

    "It's not that I think that the Met are a group of Racist, Fascist, Pigs, it's that I know they are."

    No they're not, far from it.

    If you opened your eyes you might see it. But you won't, because you're a bigot.

  108. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    "No they're not, FAR FROM IT."

    Macpherson enquiry?

    Institutionalised racism?

    Hardly "far from it" now, is it.

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