back to article Virgin rejects $1m space sex offer

Virgin Galactic has rather churlishly rejected a $1m offer to allow an unnamed company to shoot a zero-grav grumble flick aboard its SpaceShipTwo vehicle - thereby depriving science of crucial research into how humanity might procreate during the very long haul to the nearest Earth-like planet once we've finally screwed this …

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  1. Stefan
    Paris Hilton

    ok....

    so where do I audition and is Miss Bee up for it?

    Paris.... coz she'd be up for it!!

  2. Rob
    Paris Hilton

    Maybe they'd consider it..

    if they add a condition to the contract that the crew must rebrand the craft exterior "Impure" prior to .. ahem... re-entry

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Stands to reason

    The cost to change the name of the company would have been way higher then that.

  4. Pavlovs well trained dog

    5 minutes?

    good grief. 5 minutes to the money shot?

    Did they plan on using 15 year old boys?

  5. Ralph B
    Stop

    Ten Mile High Club

    I wonder how many deposits [snigger] will be withdrawn [fnarr] when the posh punters hear about the no-nookie rule. Or is it just "no cameras"?

  6. Steven Raith
    Paris Hilton

    So no chance of joining the...

    ...sixty-two mile high club, then?

    At *any* cost?

    Gutted.

    Paris, just because.

    Steven R

  7. Andrew Bush
    Paris Hilton

    Pearl necklace

    Perfect little globules floating around - for a few minutes, at least.

    I just wanted to be the first to post it, I know it's juvenile.

    Paris, who else?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    I really shouldn't admit this .....

    but it's been done ....

    http://www.space.com/sciencefiction/movies/uranus_experiment_000516.html

  9. Iain
    Thumb Down

    Doesn't this have an 8-passenger capacity?

    I thought so, anyway. $200k * 8 means the only way Virgin Galactic would have any interest in this $1M offer would be if they're struggling to fill capacity. Which sounds rather unlikely.

  10. Adrian Challinor
    Paris Hilton

    Understandable

    Why would you want to shoot a porn movie on a space plane that doesn't go all the way?

    Paris - because, well just because really

  11. Richard
    Joke

    Some people have no imagination!

    Now, a sex-in-space snuff movie...

    Scene: Silhouetted writhing to Fanfare for the Common Man

    <grumble noises>

    Psssssshhhhh noise as the airlock slowly opens

    HAL (fitted with the Andy Burnham voice module): "I'm sorry, Dave. I can't let you do that. And don't even think about putting this on the internet"

    ;-)

  12. Adrian Jones

    Let's face it

    It'd need a good hose down afterwards.

    You wouldn't want to be on the next flight up otherwise, would you?

  13. Martin Lyne

    They'd need

    ..to cover the whole interior with towels and/or plastic lining. Probably dangerous.

    Also, very likely a poorly-aimed shot would ruin some other passengers flight. And for £200k you'd want your flight to be low-flying-jizzum free.

  14. Dennis
    Joke

    It's all in the name

    You really can't expect an outfit called Virgin Galactic to allow the human docking maneuver to take place on their ship.

  15. Paul Williams
    Paris Hilton

    $200k a pop...

    ...so they were planning 5 'pops'?

    Paris, because, well, obviously....

  16. Steven
    Paris Hilton

    And the film would star?

    <<<< Well obviously?

  17. Topsy
    Paris Hilton

    Equity card?

    Doesn't look like I'll get that call for an audition now. At least I won't need an Equity Card though.

    Paris, as if she wouldn't.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Awwwww

    So it's a non-starter for the 62 mile high club then?

    Pity, would have been perfect oppurtunity to film some scenes for 2069!

  19. Scott
    Paris Hilton

    PH

    Well she needs a media boost so i'm guess good old PH to be appearing in a spaceship near you soon.

  20. Andrew Macdonald

    Just one word....

    Playmobil

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Then they'd have to rename it

    Lots of new names come to mind, none of them likely to fit with Branson's brand values, methinks...

  22. Charlie van Becelaere

    @ Andrew Macdonald

    thank you, sir;

    and where's our Playmobil® icon?

  23. Solomon Grundy

    Already Been Done

    Why do you think they started putting women on the Shuttle? The literature is on the NASA website, you've just got to know how to find it. (hint: what you're looking for deals with stress and mental concerns due to lack of socialization).

    I figure every woman that's been in orbit has received the attentions of everyone on the shuttle crew several times and maybe simultaneously.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Virgin rejects $1m space sex offer

    She's just holding out for a better offer....

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In space...

    ...no-one can hear you cream

    Apparently the name of a grumble flick itself. Apparently...

  26. Luke Wells

    Boring gits

    Boooooo to Virgin Space :(

    The thing you have to remember is that the porn industry is always always ahead of everyone else on technology, any new distribution medium, and new web standard or any new technology they are always using it before its even announced.

    If Virgin are not going to let them film in their space shuttles then expect the Ron Jeremy space program to be up and running by the time you are reading this

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Reminds me of...

    This reminds me of Scruffy (The janator in Futurama) his favourate magazine is 'Zero-G Jugs"

    Clearly a quality publication that we should not be deprived of.

  28. Warren
    Alert

    I demand

    that Peter North get the lead role. imagine the progenitor of "600% more volume" in a weightless environment. The man's a danger in gravity conditions alone!!

  29. J
    IT Angle

    Hm...

    Was I the only one to misunderstand the title? Definitely not...

  30. Gilbert Wham

    Rule 34 is in effect...

    They already did it on the Vomit Comet: http://www.space.com/sciencefiction/movies/uranus_experiment_000516.html

  31. b166er
    Coat

    Reminds me of

    that 'shopped picture of 2 aircraft; one a genuine Virgin A320 and one next to it with the decal 'Slut' on its tail!

    Question is, will Virgin ever get it up?

    Perhaps they wanted to trial the new condoms in space, you know, the ones coated with anaesthetic to prolong performance; the ones that if you reverse, mean you don't have to disturb anyone!

    Finally, in the spirit of FoTW, SpunkBubbles!!!!!

    Mines the latex one with Virgin Galactic on the sleeve.

  32. adnim Silver badge

    Five minutes?

    I can only presume this has been thought up by a man with little or no consideration given to the pleasure of the woman involved.

    Bring back seventies and eighties porn, where women were considered to be a little bit more than mere fuck machines or sperm receptacles. Much of todays hard core porn is violent, disgusting and humiliates women. Fair play to Virgin for denying this request, not that it fits in with their brand image at all. I am pleased that there is much 70's/80's porn I have yet to get my hairy palms on.

  33. Scott Mckenzie

    The final facial...

    ....would require careful positioning.

    Or is that the final frontier?

  34. Rick Giles

    Does anyone else...

    think it's funny that the company's name is Virgin?

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    So the title is 2069...

    A Space Boffery?

    Mine's the one with a million quid in the pockets

  36. Paul Stephenson
    Joke

    Snakes on a plane

    Snakes on a plane just took on a whole new meaning.

  37. Mark

    re: 5 minutes?

    Well it's doable: how long does it take to get up there? That there's your strip section and "rising action".

    A five minute window to reach the money shot is plenty for people who know the business.

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