back to article Oz woman held hostage by pugnacious porker

An animal-loving New South Wales vegetarian has been shown why the only good porker is one sliced into rashers and shoved between two thick slices of bread after being held hostage in her home by an 80kg bald pig, the BBC reports. Caroline Hayes, 63, recounted to Oz media: "It started knocking on my door at 4am, head-butting …


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  1. Tim
    IT Angle


    And where is that IT angle? Possibly the pig trap? New invention? Victim of minitiarisation?

  2. Anonymous Coward

    Totally ir-rasher-nal piggie

    Sorry ;-)

  3. Anonymous Coward

    Dont forget the brown sauce

    :) hmmm bacon sarnies......

  4. Jamie

    Oh, a magical wonderful beast.

    Oh, a magical wonderful beast.

  5. dervheid
    Thumb Down

    Why don't they...

    just SHOOT the fucker?

    It's a PIG, FFS!

    Think of all the lovely bacon and sausages.

  6. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
    Anonymous Coward

    They manage these things better in Georgia

    Readers who care to spend a bit of time searching, can find an NY Times article of a month or so ago concerning the pig hunters of Georgia. It seems that feral pigs can do quite a job on golf courses and lawns. Of course, given the time to fly the team from Atlanta to the Antipodes, the Saki-an solution of apples cast in doorward direction would be faster and cheaper.

  7. Tim Schomer

    Must've been...

    ...piggin' hungry.

    Sorry, :-D

    ...mine's the one with the cattle prod in the pocket.

  8. Gianni Straniero

    I've seen bigger

    Shetland pony, my arse.

    Look at the size of this:

  9. Simon Williams

    Emmanuel Cant was a real pissed ant...

    To misquote Monty P 'Don't mind if we call you Bruce, do you, pig? Just to avoid confusion'. Can it grunt the Philosopher's Song?

    Mine's the one with the unedited scripts book in the pocket.

  10. M
    IT Angle

    So what?

    Who cares about an American loose in Australia?

  11. kain preacher Silver badge

    Eat them

    Before they eat you. a .308 round should do the trick. Wait is that even legal in OZ now ???

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    "the only good porker is one sliced into rashers and shoved between two thick slices of bread after being held hostage in her home"

    Is it really _necessary_ to always keep the pig hostage in a certain NSW home before one can make a rasher sandwich?

  13. Andrew
    Dead Vulture


    Excuse me? Have I gotten lost and wandered into the BBC? What are these "kilograms" doing here? Bring back El Reg's standard of weights and measures!

  14. Fozzy

    Not surprising really

    After hearing the radio interview with the so-called victim I realised that the pig was far more intelligent than her.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Really, now

    It should be weighed out in welsh sheep and sized as a bulgarian fun balloon.

    Paris, 'cuz she knows how to eat a pork sausage.

  16. Big Pete

    For those wanting the story straight from the porkers mouth

    Watch the videos, They're a hoot.

    Flame icon to roast the pork.

  17. Simon
    Paris Hilton

    happy as a pig in sh*t

    ffs must be a slow news day at The Reg. We've been following this on the "tabloid-style" current affairs shows here in Oz where its been on non-stop for a couple of days.

    Pommie readers will be pleased to know that Bruce has now been caught*and has been moved to a secret location to keep a lot of lady pigs happy.

    Of course we're all trying to find the "secret location" so we can test out the new barbie.

    Paris? Because apparently she squeals like a ...


  18. Moss Icely Spaceport
    Thumb Up

    As they say over here in Oz

    Pigs Arse!

  19. elderlybloke

    Hello Andrew

    Kilograms? Well you are in the EU, and also all the world except USA and the place formerly called Burma, use the Metric System.

    As is usual in this sort of situation-- Get Used to it!

    Mein Got , even down here in Kiwi land (formerly part of your Empire) we use Metric System.

  20. David Stever

    To Hell with the bullet references

    What I want to know is who the hell is going to clean the pig shit out of her house. I have no doubt if she was trapped in her house by the porker, that it also crapped all over her damned house. Can you imagine what that smells like now? How much of her furnishings did the the four legged bastard shred, waiting for her to come out and play? How many gallons of pee did it dispense? I'm just glad that I can't smell it from the American Midwest. It's bad enough driving within 10 miles of some of these industrial pig palaces we have around here, with the ten thousand gallon sewerage lakes.

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