back to article Net-talking toaster to burn news onto bread

Many things have appeared on toast: Marmite, Vegemite, jam and even Cylons. Now a designer’s invented a toaster that can burn pretty much anything onto your morning slice, including the news. mad_toaster The Scan Toaster: toasts news, weather and pictures onto your bread The Scan Toaster connects to a PC over USB and …

COMMENTS

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  1. Avi

    *checks date*

    It's nowhere near April...

  2. Paul Young
    Paris Hilton

    Well

    At least this will make some news stories easier to digest!!

    Will it be able to put Paris on my toast, think of the fun!!

  3. Solomon Grundy

    Cool

    Ha. This is what computers are good for! I want one.

  4. Ian
    Stop

    Fine if you like dry toast

    Otherwise it goes cold while you read the news or you go straight for the butter and marmalade which will obscure the text. I think I'll stick with the paper thanks.

  5. Paul
    Coat

    better reinvention of old idea

    google for java toaster weather

    still, this might be next best thing to sliced bread!

  6. Nigel Callaghan Silver badge
    Stop

    Old news...

    It's been done before...

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/1264205.stm

    and also in fact

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/03/30/java_toaster_prints_weather_forecast/

    ...still think it's a rubbish idea though!

  7. Simpson

    cap n crunch

    The google appliance?

    Burn ads for breakfast cereals onto toast.

  8. This post has been deleted by its author

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Heart

    I gotta have one!

    And I want it firewire powered.

  10. Daniel Turner
    Thumb Up

    Seriously...

    I'm actually enougth of a geek that I WOULD by this.

    This NEEDS to be mass produced!

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    How you going

    to read the news through butter and Marmite!

    Paris cos I bet she likes Marmite.

    Efros

  12. Steven Knox
    Happy

    Is there a color version?

    Do you need special toast to burn in the highest resolution?

    How many spm can it do?

    Does it duplex?

  13. Robert Moore
    Flame

    Toast

    Oh I must have one!

    Can we start a Reg Petition to force electrolux to manufacture this.

  14. Lee T.
    Flame

    won't your toast go cold while you read it?

    that toasted news is at least a couple of minutes of reading.

    <--toasty

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    A better idea

    is a USB microwave

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Erm?

    This is a bit old shirley

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/06/04/bread_as_a_display_device/

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    It's not April Fools' day today...

    Presumably on a slow news day you just get a piece of bread.

    Also, wouldn't the toast be cold by the time you have read the news when it comes to actually eating it?

    Although I suppose it does make it easier to burn a crude image of Jesus or the Virgin Mary onto it, for a quick sale on eBay.

  18. Rob Worth

    Used to be only the weather

    The Register had this from 2001:

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/06/04/bread_as_a_display_device/

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    How about email...

    Then when the bit on the side emails me, I can eat the evidence?

    Or use the device for a daily pr0n fix!

  20. Tony W

    Finally it's here!

    The paperless office.

  21. Tom Paine Silver badge
    Coat

    Come back

    ...Talky Toaster, all is forgiven.

    Getting my coat because endless references to cult comedy classics was old before Python made their first film...

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Ebay here we come!

    I wonder how many virgin marys and jesuses you could sell on ebay before the naturally gullible religious nuts catch on.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Spammed toast

    How long until there is malware that will put "v1agra" adverts on the toast instead of my daily news?

    I for one will still welcome our toast messaging overloards. We need more computer connected kitchen appliances.

    On that note, where the hell is my networked coffee maker? I want one! (no puns about a java interface please.)

  24. Tom Silver badge
    Joke

    The question is this: Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite

    would you like a toasted tea-cake?

  25. Geoff Johnson

    Marmite.

    When hot, Marmite gets quite thin and runny. Surely you could ink jet that onto toast in any image you like.

    Maybe lacking in contrast against well done toast though.

  26. ben
    Thumb Down

    orange peppers for breakfast?

    since when has a slice of toast - however it is marked - been accompanied by two finely sliced bits of orange pepper?

    yours,

    first time poster

    keebo

  27. dave lawless
    Boffin

    scroll error

    reading - top down

    toast eating - bottom up

    So I guess it's best to print in two halves

  28. Peyton
    Flame

    Hold on a second!

    How does one distinguish between a picture from the morning news and, say, an apocalyptic message from God heralding one's imminent doom? After all, as regulars here know, toast is a preferred medium of divine revelation.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Nope

    Not really such a hot idea is it? I mean newsprint, for example, is mostly white. That means that if you printed news on it, you'd basically be eating mostly un-toasted bread. If it's been in the fridge it could even still be decidedly chilly.

    The examples in the picture show this quite clearly. Loads of cold, stodgy white bread in between the rather small interesting bits. Not exactly what you want to underpin your Oxford marmalade at breakfast, now is it?

    FAIL.

  30. Daniel Turner
    Thumb Up

    Hungy for news?

    There are on consideration a few pitfalls I can see which would make me not want this is, but I'm sure they could be resolved!

    1) It only seems to do 1 slice at a time :/

    2) If it's a busy news day I'm gonna need alot of bread

    3) It would need a media size detection feature so as to work out that I have instead toasted a waffle!

    Also would this have a duplex option?

  31. Dave The Cardboard Box
    Happy

    At last, the Red Dwarf Joke

    Too busy makin' the world work to have fun you joyless admins.

  32. steven kraft Silver badge

    Imagine the possibilities

    You can read a news story printed on a slice of toast about the image of Jesus appearing on a slice of toast.....

    You can burn a picture of your least favorite co-worker/ex onto a slice of toast and then berate it as "Your toast dude!!"

    You can pass love notes to your co-workers/mistress over a lunch of corn beef on rye...then you can destroy the evidence!! No more incriminating emails or letters!

  33. James Butler

    Old is new again

    The first "Internet Appliance" was a Sunbeam toaster hooked up to the 'net and on display at Interop 1990. Using a web interface (under SNMP), you could (1) specify how light or how dark you wanted the toast and (2) activate the toasting function. We've come a long way ... and yet, not.

    http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc2235.html

  34. Kee Hinckley

    It won't work, because as we all know...

    ...you can't have your toast and read it too.

  35. Joe
    Alert

    Re: orange peppers for breakfast?

    Not to mention the pot of cream..! Perhaps it's a delicacy somewhere on Earth...

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Jam jet printer

    Red: Raspberry

    Green: Kiwi fruit

    Blue: Blueberry

  37. Charles Manning

    Page 3?

    Toast only has a back and a front: ie a front page and a sports page. Where are the tits?

  38. JoeH
    Happy

    CNC toaster

    http://www.evilmadscientist.com/article.php/cnctoast includes pictures and video of their device in action.

    Could you make a flick-book animation from an entire loaf though?

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Tabloid journo hacks...

    ...can now eat their words.

  40. Pete

    every journo should have one

    how else can they eat their words?

    (or just swallow everything they're told)

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    I think your mising the point

    The internet is not used for news.....

    It's the toaster that lets you have a strumpet on your morning crumpet.

    It's the raincoat with sticky sleeves please....

  42. Elmer Phud
    Happy

    Trouble at t'Kingsmill

    "Sorry kids, your dad's gone and forgotten to switch printers again and the holiday snaps are all on wholemeal."

  43. Dr. Mouse Silver badge

    Oh no!

    OK, may not be as anoying as actualy saying it, but what happens when your toast comes out each time with something like:

    "Do you want any toast?"

    "How about a muffin?"

    "The question is this: given that God is infinite and that the universe is also infinite...

    "would you like a toasted tea-cake?"

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Just think of the fun

    Spreading jam on parts of Paris (Hilton that is)

  45. Gareth
    Paris Hilton

    Paris covered in hot sticky butter and Marmite

    yum!

    Paris - because I'd like to see her all buttered up and covered in Marmite.

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Just an idea...

    Does it talk?

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    The solution to sod's law?

    On one side of the toast print the words "Butter the other side". Then, on the other side, print the words "Butter the other side".

    Now, drop the toast on the floor. Which way up does it land?

    Mine's the one with the butter stain down the front.

  48. Richard Joseph
    Coat

    While waiting for my cup of Java to download....

    ....I received the 'toastvertisement' "Are you having problems with the size of your slice?"

    Spam on toast, anyone?

    OK, I tried, right???

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    way to go

    wow can you imagine this "branded" with cartoon of the day something like Far Side. It would sell like hot cakes. Every Starbucks in the world would buy one. Really hope this makes it onto the high street, what a xmas present, way better than socks. Electrolux, make this before Apple do !

  50. Tom Chiverton

    connects to 'a PC' ?

    Did you mistype 'to Windows' again ?

  51. Germain
    Joke

    Can you print e-mail on it?

    Look good if you like SPAM on your toast...

  52. Simon Ward
    Coat

    I'll have what he's having ....

    "designer Sung Bae Chang said he got the idea whilst - you guessed it - making some toast."

    Whatever he's smoking, can I have some? Sounds like some really good shit.

    Eeh, I dunno - where I were a lad we used to eat Mars Bars to combat the munchies. Guess toast is the 'healthy option' ...

    It's the one with the Rizlas in the pocket.

  53. Snert Lee

    Obviously

    An internet toaster have to be the ideal conduit for pop up advertising.

  54. bluesxman
    Coat

    @ Charles Manning

    RE: "Where are the tits?"

    They're commenting on this article :-)

  55. Matt
    Thumb Up

    yes, yes, yes!!!

    I need a toaster... and this is the perfect excuse to have a PC built into a cupboard with touch screen display, etc...

    quite possibly the best kitchen appliance EVAR!

  56. Andus McCoatover
    Coat

    @"Fine if you like dry toast "

    Think radical.

    I once bought in a US airport a wonderful little book called "Wrong Shui". Brilliant. Chuckled the whole flight home, much to the consternation of the crew.

    For example, "When arranging your house, never put a Rock near a Hard Place".

    But, "If your toast always falls on the floor butterside down, simply butter the other side".

    Problem solved. And you can still read the news. Or oggle Paris. With a bit of lubricant...

    OK. got it.

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