back to article Reg hack insults the Parachute Regiment

The following is not a classic steam-coming-out-of-ears flame per se, but a demonstration of what happens if you piss off the Paras, and in particular their 'chute-borne display team, the Red Devils. Indeed, if you want to incur the wrath of the Maroon Machine*, you can save yourself the trouble of invading the Falklands and …

COMMENTS

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  1. Les Matthew
    Thumb Up

    It's nice to see

    the Paras are such sensitive souls.

  2. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    Happy

    Para training

    week 1 : separate the men from the boys

    week 2 : separate the men from the fools

    week 3 : the fools jump

    Boris

    <<ex MoD employee

  3. Seán

    Who would have guessed?

    Looks like the straps around the crotch area need adjustment.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Meh, navy gits...

    In the navy they are all gay.

    /me awaits ritualistic abuse from other services.

  5. Tigger in Amsterdam
    Black Helicopters

    Will El Reg be renaming itself the Vulture Squadron?

    "...exit the aircraft from 3000 ft build a try by side downplane fly it vertically at the ground..."

    "Think I know what there answer will be"

    One for the Twat-O-Tron?

    "well done in pissing off 20 paratroopers"

    Actually, I'd like to second that sentiment - well done indeed El Reg!

    I remember we had some paras do an abseil demo from a helicopter at some event or other when I was a kid - as a laugh they first threw out a dummy which plummeted straight to the ground. Later when they were doing their hero worship in front of the proles routine, I asked which of them it was that missed the rope.

    Sense of humour on the part of our brave lads? Oh I think not.......

  6. err0r

    A fact's a fact

    It's got to the stage where a jump's a jump, for those watching from the ground. Flashing a bit of skin or having lumps in the correct locations is a sure-fire way of increasing the interest of a lay person.

    I'm sure that a nude female parachute regiment would have all eyes agape at the sky. :)

  7. Lupus
    Thumb Up

    Inter-service rivalry? Really?

    I assumed it was entirely because the Italian team were all female...

  8. Chris Bradshaw
    Happy

    It depends

    For some, the Paras doing their in-air stunts (IANAP) will be fascinating. For others, a group of presumably scantily clad Italian women will be more interesting, even if the stunts themselves are less stunning. I myself fall into the second category, unless of course SWMBO is watching with me...

  9. The Cube
    Happy

    Red Devils at US airshows

    So, how long do the Red Devils have to spend, at every US airshow they go to, explaining to the cud chewin' good ol' boys that no, the Red Devils are not commies?

  10. I. Aproveofitspendingonspecificprojects
    Paris Hilton

    The Plumes

    Shouldn't they be called the the Plumberettes or something?

    I thought the Red Devils were a aerobics team from the IRF.

  11. Steen Hive
    Coat

    Red Devils?

    Whatever. The Paras are dimwitted, ignorant unprofessional c**ts - second only to the room-temperature-IQ UDR. Anyone who had the misfortune to regularly drive through Ulster in the 70's and 80's can testify to that. Insulting them is just good karma.

  12. Fuion

    A Comment

    BS.

  13. Aaron Giuntini
    Paris Hilton

    el reg shouldn't piss odf a real Reg!

    Speaking as a former Parachute Regiment soldier myself i fully agree with the lads from the Red Devils. To describe them as humdrum just goes to show that you man has his brains fully lodged in his bellend.

    they are without doubt or exception the finest and most highly regarded display team to be fielded by any arborne force around the world BAR NONE!

    Oh and the RAF don't get called flyboys generally it's crabs or crabfats as they were said to used bklue unction instead of brill cream. blue unction was used in te treatment of pubic lice better known as crabs.

    Also the marines are known as bootnecks but by the Parachute Regiment they are craphats of the highest order.

    lewis can blow it out his anal region as ,let's face it , the bellend was definitely a craphat.

    this is not to say he was a bootneck but just a non airborne serviceman. all non Paras are craphats and he is deffo one of them.

    Paris? as even she'd know not to make such as asshat move!

  14. Karl Rasmusson
    Thumb Down

    What Gall!

    And you had the gall to bleat about the INQ's spammer suicide story?

    You're as bad as each other... two less sites to bother with now.

    I remember the heady days when the Reg actually bothered with news...

  15. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Silly Reg...

    If you'd thought about it, you'd have cast doubts on the ability of the lovely Italians, then you could expect lots of leggy Mediterranean minxes descending on Vulture Towers wanting to give you a very stern talking to.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Looks quite easy

    Had a look at the website you mention. It looks quite easy this parachuting thing. Those coloured jets I assume are there to propel the parachuter's into the target zone.

    I think it would be a better idea if the jets on the parachute were invisible. That way the audience would never know they are assisted to the target by computer.

    I imagine those big jets steer themselves during the shows also so I guess I would not need too much training. Do you think I be ready to go in a couple of weeks if the training was done at weekends?

    I know I am beginning to sound a little cheeky but would I get paid for doing this as well? If so can you tell me where can I apply? I quite fancy a job with lots of travel, fun and fresh air.

    ... Paris, because she can take a good wind up.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Red Devils are Wusses

    Basically, after reading the amount of cussing and sexual-oriented references in the response, it demonstrates that the Red Devils are wusses in intelligence. If they actually had brains AND balls, they could have responded in a more articulate and satiric fashion, showing that they have more brains than a stereotypical moron who jumps off a perfectly flying aircraft...

    Good show Red Devils, for being real stupid.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    For the uninitiated ...

    "Pongos": Every where the Army goes, the pong goes.

    I never did understand why RAF were called "Crabs", though. Anyone know?

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And another thing ...

    Here Down Under, the Army sometimes get called Mangos (after the fruit): They're green on the outside, yellow on the inside, and too many of them gives you the shits!

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    spot on

    "...then land on a cross inside a stadium"

    if arnhem's anything to go by, just not the stadium they were expected in.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    @error

    And with the musical accompaniment of the whistling all the way down due to resonance of the obvious areas - a surefire success!

    Particularly if they could arrange the participants in harmony :-)

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Italian Cunning Stunts!!

    Mmmmmmmmmmm.

    That is all I have to say on the matter!

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Personal preference

    I'd much rather see Italian chicks rather than British sqadies. Guess that makes me a not inconsiderably sized devotee of the love that dare not speak its name in the eyes of the Parachute Regiment...

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh dear...

    Lester's fallen for a wind-up. The perp is obviously not of the parachute regiment as he appears to claim for three main reasons

    1. He can write big words

    2. He can use email

    Ok, someone could have helped on these two points but the biggest give away is:

    3. "cheeky little fucker", erm I think a real para would be little more vociferous if they had been insulted.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Vliesbommetjies

    I remember my friend who served in the the Artillery in the old SADF always referred to Paras as vliesbommetjies (meat bombs) and the infantry as boknaaiers (buck fuckers).

  26. Roy Batty
    Happy

    The difference between the two

    The Paras perform cunning stunts, the Italian women have stunning....

  27. Ron Eve
    Coat

    Ah yes...

    I'd say cunning stunts would win every time... oh wait...

  28. Ouldbob
    Paris Hilton

    'ats

    Always called mine 'me pink 'at', cos after a few years they fades from maroon to pink. Any way, jumpin out of hairyplanes is just a quicker way of getting to the place where people are waiting to shoot your arse off. They trained us to march long distances - which should give us time for the enemy to have run out of ammo, then they bungs us in a plane and shoves us out of the door while the enemy still has some left. Not fair. Also, you can't go back up and ask the pilot to turn it round and take you back. You've soddin-well got to walk back. Barstards. I've kept my 'pink 'at' for sixty years now as a warning not to be so stupid again - but guess what? Bugger the moaning - if I had the chance to do it all over again, nothing would stop me!

  29. Ash

    Must have been Cannon Fodder

    Officers (should) know how to construct proper sentences.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    WTF

    "exit the aircraft from 3000 ft build a try by side downplane fly it vertically at the ground till 300 ft then land on a cross"

    Sorry, not being a military bod but that makes no sense to me what-so-ever (as does jumping out of a working plane at alititude!!!). English grammer gone out the jump door ?

    Someone should shove Paris out the door

  31. Adam Foxton
    Thumb Up

    No offence intended

    but the public can't see most of a 3000ft drop. Or even much of a 300ft drop- especially from inside a stadium as mentioned in the flame. So given the choice of seeing paras do it or presumably scantily clad italian women doing it, the scantily clad ones win.

    It's the same with computers etc (finally, an IT angle for this string of stories...)- people don't care that your computer can do a quadrillion petaflops per second. They'll ask "can it play Crysis"- the pretty aspect of it.

    The Paras are, of course, far far more skilled at what they do. And undoubtedly make far better soldiers than any group of Italians.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    F**k me, a computer-literate Para!

    Title sez it all, really.

    I have known a few (ex-)Paras and most of them had got jobs as "civvie" security guards at various defence contractors around the country. Mainly cuz most of 'em thought computers were for p0rn-surfing or downloading games (and man did they hate it when we had to clean the crap off the PCs!) and not much else except the odd email.

    That said, even the dumbest Para still seems more intelligent than damn-near all the "special troops" from the other side of the pond. Hell, even the lowest mud-slugging Tommy gets to play with grenade launchers and anti-armour missiles at least once, which I seem to recall are limited to specially-trained Rangers and other assorted "specialists". And even funnier, anyone with more time than a "Private" gets called a Specialist even if they can't do much more than point an assault rifle the right way most of the time...

    Jet Noize - The Sound Of FREEDOM! CrabAir for ever!

  33. This post has been deleted by its author

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    the para's motto

    "we kill people we don't know, who've never done us any harm - because the government tells us to"

    yes, the military are well worthy of our admiration

  35. Anon e Mouse
    Coat

    read the text

    "I'm sure that a nude female parachute regiment would have all eyes agape at the sky. :)"

    Whistle while you work?

    Mine's the one with the straps round the crotch.

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    So what...

    ...if the dive is technically brilliant. Some of my software is also technically brilliant but that doesn't make it a success. The real world's a hard place. Get used to it.

  37. heystoopid
    Thumb Up

    Or

    Or a bridge too far to cross as the case may be !

  38. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    Should have said...

    They'll be followed by the not so pretty British Army parachute team, the Red Devils,

    then by the Royal Navy Submariners free ascent bubble head display.

    The Crabs will be nowhere around, to busy polishing their hairyplanes.

  39. J
    Dead Vulture

    Red devils?

    Never heard of them, obviously. What are they, OpenBSD's marketing team? Whatever. But now I know they are (or at least one of them is) idiots who get so riled up by some comment on the internet (which I felt as being humorous, by the way, like when you say "you know Ferrari, that Italian brand of cheap cars"). I guess someone's got self esteem problems... That's OK, Red Devils, your Moms still think you are the bestest!

  40. Dirk Cannon
    Gates Horns

    The Internet: Where Everyone Is A Badass

    Why is it that his profanity-laced throwdown sounds remarkably similar to what I've read from countless greasy fat nerds and teenagers hiding behind their monitors burning with rage and claiming they will "be happy to meet you anywhere, anytime to settle it like men."?

    I'm guessing he's got too much testosterone from all the porn surfing. Or maybe he got shutdown by one of the Shooting Stars!

    Devil Bill for promoting angry Internet saber-rattling.

  41. David Gosnell

    At the end of the day...

    ... or rather at the beginning of the afternoon, I saw both teams on Sunday, and frankly they were both a bit crap. So there, problem solved.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    @flamer

    "The Red Devils are regarded in the global parachuting community as the best display team in the world and thats not by accident."

    Yeah but, do they have tits?

    The one with "I love twitching" on the breast, please...

  43. Martin Nicholls Silver badge

    Where the army goes, the..

    Nah but seriously - skilled parachutists that you are - but I know which I'd prefer to look at on the ground, no offence indended guys.

  44. Raving
    Flame

    Red Devils do ballistic re-entry

    'At first I was scared', admits Yi So-Yeon ...

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/04/21/ballistic_soyuz_reentry/

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Well now we know why they jump out of planes

    Who knew that the paras were such an insecure bunch with delicate egos? Most people would have taken Lewis' comment for what it was, a joke that any red blooded male would understand. That the paras have no sense of humour is one thing but that they fail to see why four beautiful Italian girls with a sense of adventure would turn heads .... ?

  46. Paul
    Black Helicopters

    I'm with the Paras

    Being at the Farnborough air show, I agree with the lads. They are awesome to watch, and much better than a bunch of wind-swept bints.

  47. Spider
    Coat

    they are very good at it...

    but you need to wonder how come the crabs are so bad at keeping equipment in the air that they need to practise so hard at jumping out of it?

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Let me lend you a hand...

    ...and distract their assault with a grammar correction...

    "Think I know what there answer will be"

    Their... THEIR!

    Mine's the one with the Kevlar.

  49. Maty
    Paris Hilton

    ummmm ...

    'You've been c*nt struck by a few fluttering eyelids'? Sonny Jim might be able to land his chute on a cross in a stadium, but evidently needs a bit more practice at finding his way around female anatomy.

    Paris, because practice makes perfect.

  50. ratfox Silver badge
    Happy

    Such conceit

    When the red devils are a sexy all-female bikini team, maybe I'll watch their shows... I'm not interested in Xtreme sports jocks wannabes.

    Anonymous. Wannabes can be vindicative.

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm pretty sure

    that 'humdrum' was referring to their ability to sexually attract the majority of the male population - not their professional skill.

    Unless he is actually saying "we love gay fans".

    Which would, of course be perfectly fine! ;¬)

  52. Adam White
    Paris Hilton

    Sheesh you military types are high-strung

    Relatively humdrum = not all-female

    How hard is that to understand?

  53. Steven Walker
    Dead Vulture

    El Reg standards are falling

    That would never have been considered for even a brief mention in the Flame of the Week. There were not even any block capitals!

  54. Craig

    How hard can falling out of a plane be?

    Not very, this guy seems to manage it while concentrating on being a self-absorbed tosspot!

  55. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Happy

    In defence of the Paras

    Knowing a few whom are still in and a few who still wish they were, I can fairly say that they are actually a very humourous and friendly bunch, as long as you're not doing something stupid like shooting at them. And if I was in a nasty spot, neck-deep in the brown stuff, the Paras would be one-off top of my list for the people I'd like to be coming to give the bad guys a serious case of lead poisioning. Having said all that, I must also say that I'm a bit shocked that one of them is reading The Reg, and I bet he doesn't admit to it too loudly in the mess!

  56. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Heh heh!

    Never nark a para - you never know when you might need them :)

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Ive always wondered...

    Why the supposed "best" paratroopers in britain are sitting at home doing airshows and not off fighting in the hot spots of afghanistan and iraq with the "regular" para's? Ditto for the airforce aerobatics teams.

    Surely you want your best to be in the frontline killing people and hopefully shortening the wars through there skills? Or is that just me?

  58. James

    The Old Ones are the Best

    Thirteen dead but not forgotten: we got eighteen and Mountbatten.

  59. Dave Ross
    Happy

    And I thought...

    that only two things fell from the sky.

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    @F**k me, a computer-literate Para

    'Twas my post, so I guess I should point out that I actually have great admiration for them (even if I think they're a significant bit loopy given their habit of jumping out of perfectly servicable aircraft - leaving Nimrods I could understand, Fat Alberts[1] not so sure).

    Still think Italian women look better in skirts or skintight jumpsuits though, sorry guys....

    [1]Fat Albert, also known as the C-130 Hercules.

  61. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Headline "The Register looses Respect"

    You are only as good as your last story.

    The Paras need no defence and they do not need to defend themselves either.

    If you have met the Red Devils they are big guys, I don't mean tall I mean big as in "Don't walk into one in the dark you will think you have hit a door". And they could parachute right down the chimney of your fart factory. There would be no escape.

    I would say "Resistance is futile" but that would give the wrong impression altogether.

  62. Echowitch
    Thumb Up

    Sounds like the Para's

    Touchy lot the Para's but then they are likened to wild dogs by some in the forces. But they are trained and conditioned to be that way.

    My personal favourite is a friend of mine who went for a job at the MGS, (Ministry of Defence Guard Service,) that guards the gates at the Aldershot Garrison. (Where the Para's used to be based.) This was not long after the Para's had moved to Colchester.

    Interviewer: So how do you feel about working with animals.

    Friend: Absolutely fine, looking forward to it, but I'd heard that the Para's had all moved out.

    Interviewer: **Dumbstruck silence as brain filters the joke**

    I should note that said friend is a former Commando, and they do have a rather "healthy" rivalry with the Para's ;)

  63. Tim Spence
    Paris Hilton

    Can we stop calling them Paras?

    Because all I can see is comments about Paris doing naked skydiving.

    Paris, for obvious reasons.

  64. Aaron Giuntini

    hmmmm

    lots of big " I Am" types slagging off the Para Reg here, and i bet none would have the nadgers to say anything to either a serving or former Para Reg soldier.

    for the record folks, all this crapioca about Paras and former paras being thick is a load of crap. i got a joint honours at Glasgow uni after leaving and then went on to then put myself through my A+ as the work my degree led me too quite frankly bored me senseless and in my opinion most people who love to work in offices are petty dicks who make big issues out of trivial nonsense.

    i now work happily in IT and am not thick. Paras are not thick at all,it's just a bullshit misconception much spread by wet blanket types without the nads to do what an airborne man does.

    As to the laddie from Ireland who considered it sport to fling childish insults at men patrolling the streets, you do realise that wee laddies talking bollocks would be neither here nor there to a Para.

    And from the tone i'd say you may well be of the republican side of things. But just remember what the Army was brought in to N.I to do......protect the catholic population from being hammered by the protestants.

    If there is one thing that N.I taught me is that if you let utter bollocks like religion drive you to kill other people and think that you are right then you are an IDIOT.

    I went as it was my job to go, not that i particularly wanted to be there.

    why don't you actually try to be an individual and break from the dogmas that strangle your country?

    i broke many a dogma i have been brought up with in the West coast of Scotland and also from the Paras and have been a committed Scottish Nationalist for the past 10 years. albeit i have served in the British Army as a Para these days i consider myself Scottish and NOT British.

    all in all though i think it's hilarious that there are all these big comments from mostly Anonymous cowards(very appropriate) and people who hide behind nicknames but are basically what we used to call W.E.A.F.A's.... World Experts At Fuck All

  65. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Paras or Itallian babes?..

    Well I know which I'd rather watch going down quickly.. mmm, nevermind.

    Humdrum \Hum"drum`\, a.

    Monotonous; dull; commonplace. [1913 Webster]

    I've seen the Red Devils (and a good few other bunches of blokes skydiving and doing cool things on parachutes) on many occasions and yes, the Red Devils are the best at what they do - no doubt there in my mind.

    However, I've *never* seen a team of scantily clad Itallian ladies falling out the sky towards me.

    Saying the Red Devils were 'more humdrum', then, is accurate (if a bit dismissive); it's just like saying that the flame the author got in response was 'more considered, good-humored, polite, reserved and literate' than the usual examples El Reg gets.

  66. jai

    pictures

    obviously, we need pictures of both teams so that we can draw our own conclusions

  67. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I have found that...

    Most people who are/were in the military fall in to three categories (from the few I have known)

    1) Normal people who you would never know there background if it were not for the odd "well when I was in the Army/Navy/RAF"

    2) Really nice people, who can be a bit odd (Very formal/heavy drinking/to may war stories) from there time in the army, but mostly good guys.

    3) Arrogant little psychopaths who think that shouting and being threatening is the way normal society works, and everyone reacts the same way as they do to a drill sergeant, and that because they are strong/fit/loud, they are right.

    I use the word psychopath in its true meaning, i.e. a social disorder where by you are unable to empathise.

    This guy seems to fall in to the last catogory.

    Im sure there is a 4th catogory of people who never mention there service, but you would never know, so hay.

  68. Eponymous Cowherd
    Thumb Up

    Re:F**k me, a computer-literate Para!

    Did my CS degree with an ex Para, bloke was frighteningly clever and worked harder than anyone. He also had a face that said "mess with me and die". He got a 1st, one of only 5 or 6 that graduated that year ('98).

  69. Evil Graham
    Happy

    Horses for courses

    I think we should agree, just like our pointless arguments about operating systems or whatever, in the real world we need different skills for different jobs. For example:

    Jumping out of a plane and looking really nice: Italian chicks.

    Jumping out of a plane and killing everything that moves: Paras.

    Writing flames: Fat spotty computer nerds.

    How about that?

  70. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Slogan

    Fly Navy, Dig Army, Eat Crab.

  71. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Steen Hive

    > The Paras are dimwitted, ignorant unprofessional c**ts

    Maybe, but you missed out "bloody effective", and yes I lived in Ulster from the 60s to the 90s. Never saw much sight of the RAF...

  72. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    @ Steen Hive

    Its apparent that you were very much for the IRA and your ridicule of the UDR is because more often than not, you and your friends usually tried to be the big dick and go and attack them.

    Inter force rivalry i agree with. Tossers on an IT comments page who only have balls when playing Quake 3 are frankly full of shite.

  73. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Personally..

    I thought the response was much funnier than the original article.

    Comedy AND the ability to jump from 30,000 feet and pull your head off. Good job, that man.

  74. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Well Said.....Aaron Giuntini

    I think most of the dimwits on here slagging off the Reg (and military in general) forget how much hard work these lads do, and have no idea of what goes on outside of their nice comfy life through rose tinted glasses.

    They have a right to be proud of what they do and that includes standing up to a slap dash comment by a Register author sat in his nice comfy office while our boys are being shot at and risking life and limb.

    and as for "Craig - How hard can falling out of a plane be?". I'm guessing you've never done it, nor had the balls to try. Go back to your Star Trek re-runs and x10 home installation project.

    Have some respect.

  75. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    @Aaron Giuntini

    "..all this crapioca about Paras and former paras being thick is a load of crap... i now work happily in IT and am not thick....

    really? - let's read on..

    ..If there is one thing that N.I taught me is that if you let utter bollocks like religion drive you to kill other people and think that you are right then you are an IDIOT...

    true, but i'd contend that killing someone to help the career of a politician who's falling behind in the opinion polls is an even more contemptuous reason

    "...why don't you actually try to be an individual and break from the dogmas that strangle your country?..."

    'be an individual' eh? hmmm.... maybe a career in the military would help? that's famed for encouraging individuality and free thought; 'yes sir! no sir! three bags full sir! must kill paddies/argentinians/iraquis/afghanis/iranians* [delete as appropriate] because some cunt in no.10 downing street says so.'

    i broke many a dogma i have been... [in] ..the Paras and have been a committed Scottish Nationalist for the past 10 years. albeit i have served in the British Army as a Para these days i consider myself Scottish and NOT British.

    er... might i refer you back to your earlier 'i am not thick' remark? so you're a scottish nationalist but you serve[d] in the army that's occupying your country. OK. let's just draw our own conclusions there, shall we?

    [paris/paras = similar IQ]

  76. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    RE: @Steen Hive

    "bloody effective"

    Like the 30th January 1972?

  77. OzBob
    Joke

    Hmmm, irony not on the syllabus at Para school

    I don't think he is a real para, most of them are convinced they are the greatest and don;t feel the need to get defensive like the last guy.

    They also have a sense of humour; a former member extolled the virtues of being both scottish and a para, and put forth the question "if we weren't the greatest, why are 2/3 of the SAS former paras?", to which I replied "an IQ ceiling in the selection exam?".

  78. alyn

    Cunning Stunts

    I'm sure the female parachute team perform some cunning stunts. (pronounce that carefully)

  79. Tim
    Stop

    @Aaron Giuntini

    Have you any idea how hypocritical your post is?

    1. To start with, you are criticising people on the via reg comments for doing exactly that. (Granted so am I but it takes one to know one. So there.)

    2. You criticise office workers for being "petty dicks who make big issues out of trivial nonsense." and yet you become an office worker who writes 17 lines whining about a blog comment.

    3. You accuse blog commenters of being nadless.. in a blog comment.

    4. You served with the British Army but you refuse to be recognised as British, yeah Scotland has an independant goverment but as I understand it, they are just as British as the part of Ulster unlucky enough to be north-east of the border. That's like not recognising that you need air to breathe, its true wether you recognise it or not.

    5. It was only your job to go because you joined the British Army, you were not forced to join, you chose to. Deal with it.

    I agree that the para's were big enough not to take the abuse of the childish seriously but you assume that you are criticising a republican, how do you think the loyalists felt about their beloved government sending in para's against them?

    I'm with you on the sentiment of braking free from strangling dogmas.

    One other thought: Is it more foolish to put your life on the line for the sake of your soul (even if your faith is misplaced) or to risk your life for the materialistic goals of H.M. Government?

  80. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Have some bloody respect

    I'd like to see any of the people bad mouthing our armed forces actually say what they think to anyone from the Para's or any other regiment for that matter.

    Whilst you're thinking about telling the armed forces how crap and thick they are, why not just go and tell your grandfathers what a waste of time their efforts during the war was, and how arrogant and thick they must be to have been part of the military. See where that gets you.

    You need to get some bloody respect. These troops risk their lives every day and have to deal with some incredible horrors that we cannot even begin to comprehend.

    So, to any of the people being disrespectful and down right rude, all I can say is stop typing, step away from your office and you try doing something that is really courageous, deserving of respect and national pride, not to mention honourable. Until you can do that, shut the hell up!

  81. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    @Ouldbob

    Decent comment, liked that one.

    For all of you others, I didn't like the use of there instead of their.

    Ahem.

    Mine's the one with 'nit-picker' on the back.

  82. David

    @Steen Hive

    Thats a fine statement to make about an organisation who had 197 members killed trying to protect the rural population from murdering thiefs.

    @AC - The UDR was not permitted to engage in crowd control. 30th January 1972 involved the British Army.

  83. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @WTF

    > English grammer gone out the jump door ?

    People living in a spelling glass house probably shouldn't throw _grammar_ stones.

  84. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Tim, @AC re: Have some bloody respect

    Pedant alert:

    Tim, Northern Ireland (or however you want to refer to it) is not part of Britain. It never has been and unlikely ever will. It is part of the UK which you may not be aware of stands for "The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland".

    AC with the respect request:

    Regarding our grandfathers and the armed forces you must agree that the situation was rather different then. Mostly they joined up to either fight in a war they believed in or were drafted, whereas nowadays although people join the armed forces for a variety of reasons it is not the same at all.

  85. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    re: Have some bloody respect

    Whilst I will conceed that the situation was different for our grandfathers and for some of them how they joined the armed forces, it does not change the fact that they still fought for our country. Not everyone who fought in the World Wars was drafted, many volunteered to fight for this country of their own free will, the same as anyone who joins the military now.

    Anyone who has the courage to put their lives on the line on daily basis should be treated with respect.

    One thing remains the same, and always will throughout time regardless of what motivates people to join the military - the wars these people fight in are all orchestrated and overseen by goverment officials. As such, the reasoning behind the wars or conflicts may not be agreed with by the people actually fighting in them, but they have made a commitment to serve our country and they do their jobs with a far greater risk to themselves that anyone working in IT.

    Who are we to judge them?!

  86. Steen Hive
    Thumb Down

    @David

    Bollocks. The treatment of law-abiding civilians on the ground by Para and the UDR as compared to say professionals like 1st Bat. Gordon Highlanders is like comparing chalk and cheese. Of the innumerable stops over 2 decades on the Westlink or heading towards Auchnacloy at 3am and having been pulled over by world+dog, including a republican gang in South Armagh, the most grief, physical abuse and general unpleasantness was invariably served up by the UDR with Para running close second. And that to a British citizen and passport holder. God knows what they did to Irish citizens or Catholics.

  87. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe it's Jealousy

    'cause everytime I see a bunch of para's out of uniform down the pub they are always in drag.

  88. Doug Glass
    Go

    Sensitivity

    Whoa! Touchy som-bitch ain't he.

  89. Jesse
    Paris Hilton

    RE: Meh, navy gits...

    Paris because, well, she's a big fan of seamen.

  90. J
    Flame

    @AC(s) who wants respect

    "You need to get some bloody respect. These troops risk their lives every day and have to deal with some incredible horrors that we cannot even begin to comprehend."

    "Anyone who has the courage to put their lives on the line on daily basis should be treated with respect."

    Not necessarily, and not always. Only if the reason behind is respect-worthy. Say, like firefighters or honest policemen. Or real defense of your people against an invader's military. Testosterone-filled drones who just go kill some people to advance the economical interests of the corporations that control their country's government don't deserve any respect, and I won't give them any, no matter how many temper tantrums blockheads who believe in something as stupid as "national pride" will throw. After all, what was last time the British Isles were militarily attacked again? Oh, that's right...

    Flames for firefighters, who are the ones who always deserve a priori respect (as far as I can tell so far...)

  91. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    @Lee

    Pedant Alert:

    Actually Lee, Northern Ireland, just like the remainder of Ireland, is actually British. The British Isles refers to the collection of islands off the north west coast of Europe (including both of the largest islands. Great Britain is the name of the largest of those islands. The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland refers to the country consisting of both this 1 big island and part of the next biggest.

    Nevertheless, this naming is all highly disputed. Have a read of something like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terminology_of_the_British_Isles although you can get similar treaties from most major encyclopedias.

    Of course, as a final point, it can often be best to avoid the term British or British Isles since in many contexts it can cause offence. Expect to have to tread carefully amongst any nationalists or unionists from Northern Ireland (or the 6 counties), although I have had this discussion with a number of my friends from both Northern and Southern Ireland, including both Catholics and Protestants.

  92. VulcanV5
    Dead Vulture

    There Are Some Problems With Your Comment. A Title Is Required.

    Love threads like this. But what happened to the template responses that so often crop up on dear old El Reg, viz:

    1) What does any of this have to do with over-clocking?

    2) You can moan about Bill Gates all you bloody want but that wanker Jobs is in a different league.

    3) And your eBay-related question is?

    4) Don't fuckin' blame me, I never voted for them.

    5) There's nothing wrong with Ladas.

    6) Of course Alf Ramsey was no bleedin' use, coming on here to even ask the question shows what a moron you really are.

    7) So, what, you really, really believe the shadows are where they should be in that Buzz Aldrin picture? Yeah, right!

    8) And I still say The Dome was OK.

    9) All I'm saying is, Formula One was never the same after Pete Murray retired.

    10) If you'd been at Sebastopol you'd know what hell is really like, so shut the fuck up.

    11) My grandad was a fireman and the salt of the earth.

    12) Please God, don't tell us you actually bought a DAB radio?

    13) OK, so he's from Egypt, but that doesn't mean he's wrong about Prince Philip.

    14) You've only got to climb down the subway access hatch to find The Twin Towers completely intact.

    15) Well I blame it on Dell.

    16) So what price yer Barratt Home now, eh?

    17) And you're sure he told your sister he was a paratrooper?

    18) It's pissing it down yet you keep coming on here, banging on about global warming.

    19) Well if you read TFM you don't need to ask here what TFM means, do you?

    20) It was you who said you had that Cherie Blair in the back of your cab, not me.

    Etc.

  93. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Hmmm

    Having meet the red devils I can say they are a bunch of intelligent, well humored and friendly blokes, and it has to be said far from thick!

    Everyone has the right to vent when a comment is made that they find insulting about something they are proud off and proud to be, so give the guy a break!

    I am sure if you made a bad comment about the fire service they would be quick enough to answer back.

    I have the upmost respect for any person who puts their life on the line for others but having said that you can not deny that the military do have it harder. Oh and step in when the fire service decide to go on strike for yet more pay!

    The comment "I don't think he is a real para, most of them are convinced they are the greatest and don;t feel the need to get defensive like the last guy" Do you know any reg blokes ? With a comment like that I think not!!

    So to all of you with the poisonous tongue's - take yourselves outside and have a word with yourselves!!!!

  94. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ Vliesbommetjes - it's Vleesbommetjes

    Nearly right, but "meat" is "vlees" in Dutch ("vlies" is something else, a think skin or layer of material), hence "vleesbommetjes".

    The ending of the word is actually an extra insult as "tjes" means that it's small..

  95. daniel wood
    Heart

    IT'S THE RED DEVIL!!!

    Hold on boys and girls, I didn't really mean to start World War 3, it seems that some of the comments have gone off on a wee tangent!

    Firstly, my comment "cheeky little f**ker" was for the author and I did not expect it to be posted on the internet and certainly did not expect it to cause so much debate. Especially as a lot of the debate has nothing to do with the original comment. It's just as well it was posted on a "relatively humdrum" website or I could be in real trouble (tongue in cheek)! Seems some people have real issues and need to let go of the past.

    Secondly, I was already in a mood when I read the original article written by Lewis, which only incensed me further. Admittedly I failed to see the tongue in cheek humour, and in true marine style, I'll hold my hands up! As I said it was written in the heat of the moment and maybe I should have written a more intelligent reply not using bad language. Also I could have done a spelling/grammar check as not to upset the geeks.

    I'd also like to respond to some of the comments:

    To Lupus- A nude female Parachute Regiment team? I doubt it seeing as females have tried and unfortunately failed P Coy. Maybe a nude marine team in the near future? (tongue in cheek/light hearted banter)

    To Aimee- "the Paras are dimwitted, ignorant unproffesional c**ts, second only to the room temp IQ of the UDR." Thats not very nice is it?

    To Adam White- We do love gay fans, we love all fans!

    To David Gosnett- It was not really a throw down was it? Didn't even sound like one, and honestly I did not get shot down by one of the shooting stars.

    To a few people- I agree, I probably would rather look at 4 Italian chicks once they were one the ground stood next to us, so no offense taken.

    To Anonymous Cowards- Yes you really are! "I fancy a job with lots of travel, fun and fresh air. Where do I apply?" Well, put your money where your mouth is, www.armyjobs.mod.uk. By the way what were you doing sat in front of your computer at 0154 on a Saturday night/Sunday morning, really sad!

    Also my comment was not having a go at Farnborough Airshow, on the contrary I think Farnborough is awesome. By larger I meant the crowds, they do seem larger in the States after all I have sat above many of them. By more interesting I meant the variety of performers we see over the pond including airbourne and seabourne assualts onto airfields and beaches, pretty damn impressive with all the pyro invovled.

    To James- Every member of The Red Devils has served at least 3 years in a regular Parachute Battalion and would have done numerous tours of N.I, Kosovo, Sierra Leone, Iraq and Afghan putting their lives on the line. The Red Devils exist to recruit for the Army and in particular The Parachute Regiment. As with all large companies we need to recruit surely even you can understand that? Though reading your last comment, "Surely you want your best to be in the frontline killing people and hopefully shortening the wars through there (thats their by the way) skills?" Do you really believe killing more people will shorten the wars? What planet do you live on!!? Thats way above my pay scale mate, try ministerial/presidential/oil executive level, you maybe a little nearer the mark!

    There were some comments that really hurt me, saying I was stoopid, arrogant and a self obsessed tosspot was particularly hurtful. However I was informed today by our website designers, Gencon, that our website has had an irregular number of hits through the above link, almost 1000. Maybe not so stoopid after all eh? All you need to do now is follow the link to our website, click on "jump with us", come see why we are proud of who we are and what we do, and raise some money for worthy charities such as Help For Heroes. Time spent much better I think you'd all agree rather than posting ridiculous comments on a website.

    One last thing- to Lewis, thanks for the email explaining yourself, I will take it as light hearted banter as I should have done in the first place, so no need to F**k me! Should have guessed you were a SEAHAT though ( tongue in cheek/light hearted banter)! Take care and good luck with all you do.

    Danny

    Red Devils Free Fall Team

  96. Gwyn Kemp-Philp
    Stop

    Enough!

    I have followed the ebb and flow of 'debate' concerning the armed forces and female paras, and fully subscribe to the consensus that favours Italian girls doing it for fun and the Paras doing it for real.

    But enough already! Insults don't sound half as effective when misspelt and it is not necessary for our armed forces - the envy of the world - to pour scorn on the civilian elements, they should save their hostilities for the enemy - so should our civvys.

    We, as a nation, only ever seem to stop cussing each other when there is a war on and - STOP PRESS - There are two (and a half) going on just now, so stow it!

    I was a soldier with a bad attitude once but now I am a mature gentile civilian expecting civilised behaviour from our finest.

    Kiss and make up and we'll all grab a pint and go watch the girls strutting their stuff. Much better that arguing about it.

  97. Frank Sheridan

    Ex Tank Soldier stands up for paras

    Any soldier who is prepared to travel to a foreign land and fight and die for my safety at home gets my support and admiration. Go Paras, get some for me.

    I would still prefer to have a load of girlies land on me though. :-)

    BTW: Anonymous Coward sounds like a typical user who wants all the benifits but rubishes the system that delivers it to his comfy little world. He must walk with a stoop considering the burden of the chip he is carrying around.

    PS I would stay anonymous if I were him. (or her)

  98. pctechxp

    @Aproveofitspendingonspecificprojects

    The IRF?

    If you mean the RAF thay are called The Red Arrows,

  99. pctechxp
    Happy

    @Frank Sheridan

    Totally agree, berets or hats (No blinkin's frog talk round 'ere) off to all of them.

    Amazing people but the all female display team sounds rather nice too.

    I wonder if they have any good lookin' ladies in the paras?

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