back to article NZ judge saves girl from bloody silly name

An NZ judge has done the decent thing and made a nine-year-old girl a ward of court to allow her to ditch what must rate among the most preposterous names of all time - Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. The issue of the poor child's moniker surfaced during a custody hearing in New Plymouth back in February, the BBC reports. …

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  1. tim
    Paris Hilton

    maybe its something about NZ....

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1559705/%27This-baby%27s-name-is-not-4Real%27%2C-couple-told.html

    oh dear.

    paris - because thats a bloody silly name as well.

  2. pctechxp
    Coat

    Shame Frank Zappa wasn't a Kiwi

    Then poor Moon Unit and Dweezil might have had a chance of ditching their ridicukous names.

    Benson and Hedges aren't the worst individually but put together they do sound stupid without a doubt but where the hell did Number 16 Bus Shelter or Sex Fruit come from?

    What next, Public Toilet?

  3. Christoph Silver badge
    IT Angle

    Simple fix

    Any child lumbered with a dire name shall be entitled to swap names with the appropriate parent, who shall be stuck with the result.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    All attempts ...

    ... to give a kid a stupid name should result in the name "My parents both have a low IQ" being recorded. At least until the kid is old enough to pick their own name.

    I know a white-van man whose main reason for wanting a son appears to be so he could nickname him 'Biff'.

    Paris Hilton and Austin Healy, made for each other.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    So...

    If your offspring turn out to be losers, they can blame it on a poor choice of name and sue their parents? Don't parents have any rights any more?

    Maybe we should just give our children a placeholder name, like "<insert_name_here>". Then they can choose their own. If they did that when they were, say, 5 years old I reckon that'd result in some pretty interesting monikers. Then we could all laugh at them when they were saddled with it for life.

  6. Craig Warren
    Unhappy

    no 16 bus shelter

    Lets hope that the kid is named after the place they where concieved and not where they where born!!!

  7. Torben Mogensen

    Not only Anglo-Saxons are this silly

    My wife is from Romania and told that one of her fathers friends named a daughter "The 27th Congress of the Romanian Communist Party" (or, rather, the Romanian equivalent of this). This misguided attempt at patriotism was, obviously, during the communist regime.

    Sometimes seemingly innocent names can be bad in combination. In Denmark, I have heard examples of priests refusing to baptise children with such combinations, including "Tom Bajer" (tom = empty, bajer = beer or Bavarian, the latter being the origin of the surname) and "Anders Sand" (which sounds like Anders And, the Danish name of Donald Duck).

    But a name like Bent Koch is perfectly legal (and not uncommon) in Denmark, as it doesn't sound risque in Danish.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    and

    the parents aren't even famous!

  9. Simon
    Stop

    Change name to?

    If my parents gave me a name like that I would change it to something like "My parents are T@wts"

    Speaking of stupid names, my wife was in the supermarket a few weeks ago and spotted two kid running around, then the mother spotted them and called to one

    "Come here Dolce!"

    My wife said that everyone looked at the mother and waited with baited breath for the inevitable and yes the mother turned to the other child and said

    "You too Gabbana!"

    Those poor kids!

  10. Stephen Stagg

    Parents

    The parents should be surgically neutered, preferably without anaesthetic.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hold on, Violence?

    You mean Violence Jack is a real person? I knew it!

    As for the others, Midnight is a great name for a girl. Okay, so she's got a silly middle name to go with it but don't we all? Number 16 ought to go by the name Shelter, actually I think I once read a book with someone called that.

    Honestly, I can't see either of those being worse than being called Elvis. Seriously.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    that would explain it all

    paula yates was a new zealander, how else do you explain Fifi and Peaches.

    Also they should stop bloody silly parents from calling their kids after countries since everyone wants to get into India on maury povitch, and it's not by migrating!!

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Perhaps the courst should also inflict a stupid name on the parents.

    That way they will perhaps realise what they are trying to do to their child.

    Regards,

    Lugubrious Slipknot 3.0

  14. Dave
    Heart

    How does affect

    The more well known handicapped by this.

    Peaches, and Fifi Trixibelle Geldof, Dweezil and Moon unit Zappa? Do they get compensation?

    I dislike kids, but even I wouldn't be THAT cruel

  15. Chad H.
    Thumb Down

    I don't get it

    You need a license to drive, but any idiot can have a kid.

  16. Kevin Sedgley
    Happy

    I'm going to call my child

    Fuck trophy

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    What's wrong with that name?

    I quite like it.

    Yours, Raymond Luxury-Yacht (pronounced Throat-Warbler Mangrove)

  18. Angus Cooke
    Thumb Up

    I can't see...

    ... what all the fuss is about.

    Regards,

    Bubblegum Moonrock Squidman McGinley

  19. Dave Ashton

    Read 'Freakonomics'

    It has a great chapter on this. It also mentions the parents who decided to call their kid 'Shithead'. Ironically, the books starts with the idea that crime in the US dropped because of Roe vs Wade, the case that made room for legalised abortion. The point being that the number of potential little hooligans were aborted before birth in the seventies and eighties, leading to less criminals in the 90's.

    However, seems a few got through and decided to bestow their beloved with names like "Loser".

    People are morons.

  20. Ray
    Heart

    maybe...

    parents deliberately harming their offspring's chances in life (why do they have children in the first place?) should be forced to change their own names to one of their child's choosing.

    heart is for all parents sharing the love.

  21. Wize

    Whats in a name?

    Some people just don't get the irony (like a friend with the surname Morrison who was going to call their kid Mark)

    But ones like these should just be slapped at the registrars office every time they insist on a silly name.

    This isn't a pseudonym ya know!

  22. Ryan
    Go

    Stallion

    They should have allowed that one ;¬)

  23. Sandy Donaldson

    Couple of others

    Had a mate who's second name was rhea. Swore blind he was gonna call his first gonna and and second diar ... Never did though, thank god!

  24. James
    Coat

    Sub-head

    Surely, "Talula No Longer Does The Hula From Hawaii"?

    Eyethangyew.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    where the poor sprog was conceived.

    Surely all these weird names are references to that beautiful (and sometimes not so beautiful - apparently) beast with 2 backs moment?

    // Paris, as she clearly has only one back.

  26. Dan
    Thumb Down

    Eh?

    If you wish to call you kids Fish and Chips, you should probably have got 2 cats instead.

    If you wish to call your child Sex Fruit, you should just be locked up.

    Regards,

    BA Flight 793 to Heathrow Smith

  27. Sean O'Connor
    Happy

    New law?

    Maybe there should be a law that allowed you to swap names with one of your parents when you got to 16? I'd love to see the look on that girl's mum's face when she realised that her name from now on was Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. Or Dad's name from now on was Fat Boy.

  28. Steve

    Violence.

    Of course they let that through- what 10yr old *wouldn't* want that as a name.

  29. Dave Jones Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Yes but....

    It's only a small step from "persuasion" to where the happy slappers in govt. offices are telling people what they can and can't name their kids, right down to keeping lists of allowed names. American ex-pats find that they can't indulge in the customs of passing on parental names, or even grand-parental names, if their kids are born in the wrong country in Europe. As usual the Frogs are big offenders in this dept. Compared to the idiocy inflicted by bureaucracies in situations like this, a few bloody silly names are a small price to pay.

  30. Ashley Stevens
    IT Angle

    Huh?

    I don't see why she can't tell her chums her real name? It's Talula. Nothing silly about that, one of the girls in my son's class is called Talula. OK, the middle names are profoundly silly, but you don't need to disclose your middle name, and in any case, lots of people have pretty silly middle names anyway.

    BTW, I think Midnight Chardonnay sounds quite good actually. Lots of Americans have sillier names than that. (Although some of the other examples cited are indeed very silly!)

  31. Michael O'Malley

    On changing your name

    Archibald Cockpuller went into a lawyer's office and told him he wanted to change his name.

    "I can see why you might want to change your name," said the lawyer. "What are you thinking of changing it to?"

    "Well, I thought John Cockpuller would be nice ..."

  32. John Macintyre

    er...

    "Cinderella Beauty Blossom, Fat Boy, Fish and Chips (twins), Keenan Got Lucy, Sex Fruit, Stallion, Twisty Poi and Yeah Detroit."

    so a) wouldn't someone notice when the birth certificate is signed? or does nobody look a chav in the eye anymore?

    And considering the worldwide actions on paedo activity , one namely being the woolies bed called the 'lolita', if that causes mass fury, what does calling your kid 'sex fruit' do? surely that's just asking for trouble? shouldn't the parents be put away for insighting such things? And you have to ask, for the kid called 'keenan got lucy', what was the surname? stoked? kippered?

    some people need their heads examined....

  33. Carl Carter

    So I guess..

    the chav contingent is spreading worldwide... god help us all....

  34. John Macintyre

    good ol' google

    just to say, noticed this over at http://stuff.co.nz/AAMB1/aamsz=760x120/4628719a10.html in the comments:

    "If my memory serves me correctly his full name is Count Lawrence Cinnamon Sex Fruit and he changed his name by deed poll as an adult, so this is not an example of parental abuse unless one can indeed abuse a parent by changing their name in such a manner."

    Mustn't always blame the parents then....

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Don't forget....

    Alistair Darling.....How embarrising to say "Darling, I need more money". So lets get him off the streets as well.

    Paris - you really need to ask with her named after a Parisian Hotel.

  36. Juliette Martens

    More cruelty to children

    I spent some time on babyname forums helping a pregnant friend to pick a name, and if they're anything to go by my IQ must certainly rank in the top 2% of the Western world's population. Needless to say, my friend just went for "Kate".

    If you feel like a bit of a laugh, or just want to get a headstart on finding out who the next generation of serial killers is going to be, check out notwithoutmyhandbag.com (Baby's Named a Bad Bad Thing). They posted a huge amount of unbelievably silly names while adding some of their own constructive criticism.

    Incidentally, if you're male, I'd suggest you proxy your way to "notwithoutmyhandbag.com", preferably through a site that is named along the lines of jugsandmotors.com (or outdoorpussy.com of course if you're more environmentally inclined).

  37. Michael
    Happy

    Poor kids

    I'm always reminded that there is meant to be a Pocahontas McGinty somewhere in Glasgow. Poor bastards.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    NZ

    Every time I think its probably time I head back home from London, some random piece of wierdness like this surfaces which reminds me why I left...

    ...apart from that the Americans have got their claws into a lot of the good businesses and real estate now so the country's doom is imminent. (Gee thanks Peter Jackson) Before you know it the nuclear warships will be back.

  39. Steve Foster

    Shortened...

    All that lot would have been shortened to just Talula within a day or two of the child's birth. The kid could have treated all the rest as "middle names" and simply ignored them.

    Yes, Talula isn't a fantastic name, but it's not *that* bad.

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    It's all relative

    "Consider for a moment any beauty in the name Ralph." - Frank Zappa, when asked about his children's unusual names.

    At least Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii has a pleasant rhythmic quality.

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    question - I'm sure there will be loads...

    Will Mr and Mrs Bates be permitted to have a son on any pretext, given that he will invariably be called master...

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Working on a sex farm

    Sex Fruit is a superb name. It's symbolic, and it's also a great way to impress people at parties. E.g. "Hello, my name is Sex Fruit Smith - would you like to wrap your teeth around me and take a bite", that kind of thing.

    "Hi, I'm Sex Fruit. Would you like to strip off my skin and gouge out my innards with a spoon? Baby?"

  43. Dave
    Happy

    More reasonable names...

    Just think of the hilarity if the surname happens to be Glass. For example, there's Irene (Bad if she only uses her first initial). And, there's Crystal. And, what about little Sharpas? ;-)

    Dave

    P.S. Mines the one with the pockets stuffed full of rubber. ;-)

  44. Johan Vavare
    Paris Hilton

    Posthumous silly names.

    What about a girl born 1379 named Diot Coke ?

    http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/news/stories/22.htm

    Just plain luck that Oliver Cromwell was called Oliver Cromwell and not Toyota Hiace..

    Paris, because it's another silly name...

  45. blackworx
    Coat

    Maybe it's just me, but...

    I think her old name had quite a ring to it.

  46. OzBob
    Joke

    I am always on the lookout for,...

    Micheal Hunt and Wayne Kerr, I am convinced that some parent somewhere must have slipped up and forgotten to sanity check the kids name.

  47. Liam

    hmmmmm

    as someone who has an odd name (yes, back in the 70s when i was named Liam was a very rare name apart from our potato eating cousins) i wont even go into my second name - suffice to say that only me, mum and dad share this surname even in our family! there isnt even another one in my county!

    as a kid i was constantly called Ian, Leon etc... people even assuming i had a speech impediment and even when asked what my name was i was constantly ignored and called ian anway lol

    so, as you can guess i hate stupid names for kids... makes life really hard for em... of course its not so bad now as names are much more varied... but when i was a kid they were all steve, richard etc... of course my kid will be called han solo boba fett <mysurname> :)

    my fave names ive found on the net have been:

    rusty cuntz (from pitsbug steelers)

    ginger minge (from a year book)

    you would never guess both are from the good old U.S. of A. :)

    and lets not forget mr 'barclays bank are wankers' (UK) and 'mrs prozack' (USA)

    i also knew a bloke who changed his name to john thomas - he didnt even know that its another name for a cock until i told him! doh!

    @ "Alistair Darling.....How embarrising" - i always think of blackadder goes forth... 'oh come on darling' - quality :). the fact that the new darling also looks like a freakish thunderbird makes it even more amusing... maybe virgil darling wuold be better!

  48. Jesse
    Joke

    Rip Torn

    Perhaps the parents of actor Rip Torn decided on that name after friends convinced them not to go with 'Condom Ripped'.

  49. Simon Ward

    Re: I am always on the lookout for,...

    "Micheal Hunt and Wayne Kerr"

    Weeellll, there was a Michael Hunt in the Computer Science department at my old university (and he insisted people called him Mike ... dear, oh dear) and the current[*] editor of the 'Beano' is none other than Euan Kerr - the latter case is probably a good example of a fine, Scottish name but even so, what were his parents thinking?!

    [*] - current as in 'the last time I bothered to look'

  50. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    IT angle

    Didn't Scott McNealy (of Sun fame) call his firstborn "Maverick" ?

    As for the Frogs they're less fussy these days (EU rules do have some advantages) but my favourite story there is about the folks in the French overseas territories (DOM/TOM) who wanted to choose a suitable French name for their newborn, but didn't know any. A friend recommended picking the name of the Saint from the day the child was born, so they looked at a calendar and did so. Child was born on July 14th, and so got named Fête Nat ...

  51. Doug Glass
    Alert

    Marriage

    She could have married "Trout Fishing in America" and become, well.... you get the picture.

    Makes me feel a little bit more disposed to forced sterilization. Of the parents of course.

  52. Stevie Silver badge

    You know the Human Race is in trouble

    ...when some of them can't tell the difference between naming pets and naming children.

    This isn't a new phenomenon.

    My mum says she went to school with April May June and Iris Stew.

  53. pctechxp
    Joke

    Bugatti Veyron anyone?

    would be a unique name.

  54. pctechxp
    IT Angle

    IT Angle

    For the real net nerd there's always Top-Level Domain or Variable value.

    IT? because this is an IT publication is it not?

  55. le jono
    Alien

    Something else thats stupid

    I knew a girl once, whose boyfriend had changed his name to Megatron

    A sad day for all.

  56. StopthePropaganda
    Stop

    more government power "for the children!"

    next up, no names like Jesus or Mohammed. No Obama's, nothing that may or may not offend. Government intervention into even more private decisions, that can't be abused or misused, cannit? What's the worst that can happen?

    Maybe forcing people to change names that the self-designated-minority-flavor-of-the-month decides to be offended by?

    I worked with a guy who's first baby, had it been a boy, would have been Joe Kerr. We dissuaded him from naming his daughter Schmoe....

  57. Andy Bright
    Thumb Down

    Poor bugger, but I still think that's better than..

    Shaniqua, Shaneetra, Tequilla, Babeetra, Mesquita or whatever else certain people in the US think shows originality or is culturally correct.

    Anyway, new age wankers like this should be neutered, and placed on permanent lists to stop them from adopting. Then give 'K' a bat to repeatedly smack some sense into them.

  58. pctechxp

    could run and run

    Surname Tard first name Bas

    Surname Pitt first name Tar

    Surname Mack First Name Tar

    Surname Hole First A***

    Surname Tyre First Goodyear/Firestone/Bridgestone

    Blimey tis a boring shift.

  59. Rich
    IT Angle

    And the IT angle

    Is the 100 character limit, so you can never bust a name field length in NZ. I'll use that one!

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not limited to NZ

    A friend reports having attended high school with a classmate named Richard Puller.

  61. Grant Alexander
    Coat

    As bad as dopey names...

    are more common names spelled in "creative" ways. Again another thing that is an epidemic in New Zealand. Teachers must dread the start of the school year when they get a new batch of kids with names that are spelled in unusual ways.

    The registry office should have default name that a child is given if the parents are too stupid to think of a non-abusive name. Girls default to "Anne" and boys to "David". Can't go wrong with that. Think I'll suggest it to Brian next time I see him.

  62. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Underachievers

    See how it's done http://www.xkcd.com/327/

  63. steven kraft Silver badge

    No Mother's/Father's Day for You!!

    The judge should tell that kid that upon reaching her majority, she is no longer required to feel guilty about not calling her parents on their birthday's or other days of special cultural significance....

  64. Franklin
    Stop

    And on the flip side of the same coin...

    ...one person, blessed with a sensible name, is attempting of his own volition to change it to "Microsoft Zune."

    After having the Zune logo tattooed onto his body, no less.

    http://blog.wired.com/gadgets/2007/11/zune-tattoo-guy.html

    And people think Apple and Linux fans are extremists... I wonder what his new name will do for his prospects with the opposite sex.

  65. Robert Baker
    Paris Hilton

    Other dumb (celeb) names

    David Bowie's son was originally called Zowie. :( Not surprisingly, he changed it (to Joe IIRC) as soon as he was old enough. :)

    Then there's River Phoenix, which to me sounds like a rollercoaster (installed in the grounds of the Paris Hilton?)...

    And as I've commented on the Inktank forums, anyone called Slicker should be forbidden by law to give their child any name beginning R. :D

  66. Alan Ferris
    Happy

    Great names

    In medical folklore, there is a story about the G.P. who persuaded Mr & Mrs Janus that they didn't want to call their son Hugh.

    I've no proof on that one...

  67. Charles Champness
    Coat

    it's a kiwi thing

    it's normal for kiwis to call their kids strange names, i grew up with kids called "rainbow" and "sky" among other very interesting names... but i must say, it's a hell of a lot better than peter, paul, john and mary... at least they're original!

    ...checking that my kiwi passport is still in the jacket pocket.

  68. Tim
    Go

    Parental thought failure...

    Use to work with a guy called Richard Head, uni grad type person.

    Unfortunately he pretty much lived up to his name.

  69. Andrew
    Alien

    Mark Hunt

    There's an "umtimate fighting" athlete person named Mark Hunt. A New Zealander would you believe. I'll never forget when the NZ version of 20/20 profiled him and the prim and proper female journalist matter-of-factly announced "Mark Hunt is ranked amongst the top 5 in the world"

  70. Big Pete
    Paris Hilton

    Here in the great southern land

    We had a member of parliament with the name Richard Face, see link: http://tinyurl.com/6qke8w

    I also knew a guy named Richard Head, So you have to ask, what were their parents thinking.

    I bet neither used the shortened, Dick, version of their first name.

    I bet school was hell.

    Paris, because that's a stupid name as well.

  71. Stephen Harvey
    Alien

    More NZ hijinks

    Not that I am keen to add more fuel to the "Kiwis are a bunch of weirdoes" flames, but many years ago, before parents were dissuaded from naming their children "inappropriately" there was a gentleman who rejoiced in the name of Malcolm Gramophone, and called his two sons Jesus Christ Gramophone and Gabriel God Galaxy Gramophone.

    I know about this because my mother was a consultant psychiatrist, and was acquainted with Malcolm Gramophone on a professional basis...

  72. zcat
    Paris Hilton

    "Dick Head"

    My wife has a cousin named "Richard Head", don't know if he prefers to be called Dick but I wouldn't expect so. Not quite as bad as Mr and Mrs Peacock who named their son Drew.

    And I do wonder if Miss Hilton was named after the hotel in which she was conceived. It's entirely possible..

  73. brainwrong

    Renault Megane?

    My niece was very nearly called Xsara, thankfully changed to Zara. Now everybody thinks she was named after the haggard old semi-royal.

    Although, thinking about it, those cars won't be still around by the time the kids get to bullying age, so it probably wouldn't be much of a problem.

    A friend who's pregnant with twins was planning to name one of them "Thomas John", she's now changed her mind.

  74. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Correction

    The name is "Keenan Got Lucky" not "Keenan Got Lucy", although that may have been the case.

  75. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Naming based on conception location

    Guess that rules out little "Up The Oxo Tower" from arriving in court.

  76. Trix Bronze badge
    Paris Hilton

    No-one beats the yanks

    Ok, us kiwis can have some interesting names - I like the good-old Maori names commemorating battles - (An)Zac Wallace, El Alamein... - but I think the US started the trend. There have been some classics like the philanthropist Ima Hogg. Other Imas in the US include Pigg, Muskrat, Nut, Hooker, Weiner, Reck, Pain and Butt. Then there's Fat Meat Fields, Pickle Parker, Harry Pigg, Panties Moberg,Toilet Queen, Emma Royd, Nighten Day, Blacken White, Lotta Bull, Tuna Fish, Bowling Lane, Num Butt, Amanda Love and Carr Chase. Not to mention Hugh Jass.

    /Paris for obvious reasons

  77. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    ...amid a worldwide attempted clampdown on bloody silly names, including Renault Megane,..?

    but not Ford Prefect apparently.

    The one with the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster stain down the back if you please.

  78. Simon
    Happy

    Wayne Kerr

    Someone mentioned it on here.

    That name really does exist, but as a company!

    http://www.waynekerrtest.com/

  79. RaelianWingnut
    Alien

    It's Not a Class Phenomenon...

    After all,the husband and consort of Queen Victoria was...

    Anyone?

    You at the back, there...

  80. Dan Clarke

    Point of information, pctechxp & Dave:

    The name of Frank Zappa's first son was not originally Dweezil. It was Ian. He later insisted that his parents get his name legally changed to Dweezil.

    It is true that Frank & Gail Zappa did originally want to call him Dweezil, but were banned from registering that name by the hospital where he was born.

    As for their oldest child - her name is Moon. Unit is her middle name. Do you go around referring to Michael Heseltine as "Michael Dibdin"? Or Gordon Brown as "James Gordon"?

  81. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It used to be so easy.

    All the blokes here were called Bruce. Now is all "Lachlan", "Joshua", "Jayden" and "Zachary". And don't get me started on the shielas.

  82. Pete
    Happy

    Re: It's Not a Class Phenomenon...

    Oh, though: there is a bit of a difference between the classes though. The upper classes just do it with their surnames instead.

  83. Pete
    Thumb Up

    Re: It's Not a Class Phenomenon...

    RaelianWingnut - the Prince Albert was named /after/ Queen Vic's consort. Not the other way around.

  84. Torben Mogensen

    @Grant Alexander

    While Anne and David are fairly neutral, I wouldn't want to force Anne on someone whose last name is Gerr or David on someone whose last name is Ong.

    In Denmark, if the parents don't register a name within a certain time limit, girls will be registered as Margrethe (the name of our queen) and boys as Frederik (the name of our crown prince).

  85. Andus McCoatover
    Happy

    Common name in Finland...

    ...is Pekka.

    Now, try not to titter. Or snort coffe on keyboard.

  86. Andus McCoatover
    Coat

    Re: Wayne Kerr

    Yep, Simon. It was me. Worked there. Name is a perfect description. Named after Norman Wayne and Deborah Kerr. Instigator was a film buff. Management were a cunch of bunts.

    Thanks for the (bitter) memory. Now, sod off. ;-)

  87. Amanda
    Black Helicopters

    @Dave Jones

    Germany has some of the strictest naming rules in the world, including a restriction on giving last names as personal names, but there's an out if one or more of the parents is from a different country. You just need to get a letter from your home country's embassy or consulate in Germany stating that the name you would like to give the child would be approved for registration in your home country.

    Since I'm American, there's nothing stopping me from calling my sprog (either gender) Princess Pink Sparkle Pony MyLastName-HisLastName. Well, aside from common decency. But it will let me throw in a family name, if it's not already on the list. I think the American consulates here just give form letters with a blank for the parents to fill in the name :)

    I thought it would be similar for other nitpicky EU countries (and which EU country has more finely-trained nitpickers than Germany?), but France might not.

    Black helicopter, because I'm American and therefore deeply suspicious of governments, in general, but especially France's.

  88. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    UK head of Nissan some time ago

    Was Mike Hunt. Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii could be shortened to Talula, but if she gets married the whole name is then read out. That is not the best time of the congregation to start laughing.

    Babies seemed to be named after the place they were concieved, like Brooklyn, Chelsea, number 6 Shelter.

  89. pctechxp
    Flame

    @Dan The Zappa Fan

    Easy mate

    True you don't (good job in my case as I was blessed/cursed with three middle names which are perfectly ordinary) but my firstname most commonly is used as a surname.

    While I did not know that fasct about Dweezil Zappa, my point was that it was a rather unusual choice and so not really surprised it was originally blocked.

    As for Moon Unit (Moon is kind of on the border but unit it just pure oddness) so I bet she keeps it quiet.

    Glad to also see that someone is paying attnetion to the one party state we live in glossed over with a thin coat of something from a tin labelled democracy (point there being each of the parties nicks popular policies of the others so there is not much to choose between them).

    Anyway apologies for offending you, watch that blood pressure.

    Flame because Dan must be cookin' with rage by now.

  90. Juliette Martens

    @Amanda

    I actually agree with the strict naming rules - weighing up children getting bullied against parents giving in to their urge to assert rights over their "property" (whether due to naming tradition or plain stupidity), I think preventing bullying really should prevail.

    Holland is developing the same bizarre naming culture as America - I don't understand what's wrong with names like Lisa or Catherine. A unique name doesn't equal a unique personality so what's the point?

  91. Jonathan Richards

    Goes back a long way

    OK, not naming kids after their point of conception, maybe, but Florence Nightingale was named Florence after the city of her birth, the first to be so named, and that became popular. Her sister Parthenope didn't have quite the same impact, though.

  92. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @common name in Finland....

    I've got a pet rat named Pekka. Never knew the origin of the name, just liked the sound of it.

  93. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    @ Kevin Sedgley

    Please be careful, I'm at work and somewhat bored. Not the best combination for suppression of giggling. Seriously though, I'm on the verge of a new personal best for "least work done in a day". If I'd dodged a couple of phone calls it would actually be zero works.

    Anyway, Bear Grylls was on the telly the other day. According to Wikipedia (that's about as in-depth as my interest could sustain) he changed his name himself. I wouldn't say it to his face, but a grown man changing his name to something to make him sound hard seems a little sad to me. He was called Edward, though.

    My ex taught at a school with a pupil called Archie Adventure. I don't know his surname. But that is a good effort from his parents.

    That is all.

    xx

  94. Tim Elphick
    Stop

    What's wrong with my voice?

    I don't know how many times I've been called Jim. Amongst others I've even had Kim. It's got to the point where I make extra effort to pronounce my name extra clearly. I don't understand why I'm afflicted with this.

    I once turned up at Sainsbury's on a temp assignment. They'd obviously Chinese Whispered me all over the place, possibly whilst reading Heat or similar, as they seemed to be expecting somebody called Tom Affleck.

    Doesn't really relate to what's being said, I know, but having a proper name doesn't necessarily make it much easier!

  95. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about Cooking lessions

    Try Nicole Kidman's baby...... Sunday Roast.... (well, Sunday Rose, but keep saying it)

  96. Erik Aamot

    WAIT !! .. what about the absurd name this father gave his daughter ?

    ...... PARIS HILTON ......

    thank God he didn't have alot of kids .. one might have been Anaheim Hilton ... or Hanoi Hilton

    no Paris icon because I found an angle :)

  97. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Thundergods, Racing drivers and leather clad girly-hackers

    My son is called Raiden. Not too risky and it sounds a bit like Aidan. We're expecting another baby and we like Jenson for a boy or Trinity (IT angle!) for a girl.

  98. pctechxp
    Flame

    :Tom Elphick

    I feel your pain

    My first name is actually Mitchell but it often gets mistaken for Michelle.

    No my response to this was always 'do I look female?'

    But now I know that Mitchell Baker (CEO of Mozilla) is a woman I'll have to think of something else to say.

    Flame because I hate being called Michelle

  99. pctechxp

    @AC Re: Thundergods

    Bet you were a Mortal Kombat fan then.

  100. Robert Baker
    Coat

    @Dan Clarke -- re. Gordon Brown

    Interesting -- I didn't know that our belovèd (as in "erm, I think I've heard of him") PM's full name was "James Gordon Brown"; now that I do, I can imagine why he chooses to be known by his middle name. I reckon that his schooldays must have been hell, with wiseguy kids asking about his Dad's brand new bag or if he feels like being a sex machine. :-)

    Icon says it all really...

  101. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well...

    How about the "Schools Minister" here in Britain? Ed Balls, I bet lots of kids got a laugh at that.

    Also, and I bet this was completely unintentional since he was not young by any stretch of the imagination, I knew of a guy by the name of Alan Keys. Someone should have got shot for that.

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