back to article Pope apologises for Apple's MobileMe sins

Thus it is recorded in the Book of The Times of Los Angeles: "And the Lord said: 'Let there be MobileMe. And there was not MobileMe. And the Lord looked down upon Apple's botched transition and saw that it was not good. And he then told Benny 16 to apologise...'" Yeah verily, unbelievers look on in awe and wonder: LA Times …

COMMENTS

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  1. Webster Phreaky
    Jobs Halo

    It's deliberate

    The article author posted:

    "Ok, a little explanation is called for.

    I chose the Pope to illustrate this story about Apple apologizing, because it is a picture of the Pope apologizing.

    But then I also liked the way his arms are raised as if asking for forgiveness. Or, as one commenter suggested, he could be asking about the whereabouts of his contacts.

    -- Michelle Quinn"

    I love Apple, and worship the ground his holiness Steve Jobs walks on.

  2. Dave Harris

    deliberate

    According to this ( http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/technology/2008/07/apple-apologies.html#comment-122626752 ) someone at LAT is having a bit of fun

  3. Kenny Millar
    Flame

    Funny story, but shame on Lester Haines.

    Could you please stop calling it the Jesus Phone.

    I find this term blasphemous and insulting to my religious beliefs.

    Try calling it the Muhammad Phone and see where that gets you.

  4. bluesxman
    Coat

    @ Kenny Millar

    I'll think you'll find they're calling it the Heyzeus Phone, the Spanish pronunciation, because, um, some Spanish people use them.

    My story, sticking to it.

    Mine's the one with the El Diablo PDA in the pocket.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Funny story, but shame on Lester Haines.

    Or, you could get a sense of humour?

  6. Steven Raith
    Joke

    Kenny Millar

    "I find this term blasphemous and insulting to my religious beliefs."

    So turn the other cheek....?

    Apologies to the fine Mr Bill Hicks on that one.

    Steven R

  7. Tim Spence

    @ Kenny Millar

    Jesus *might* just use an iPhone though - after all, it doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that he *doesn't* use one, and it certainly doesn't mention that he uses any other brand.

  8. Scott

    Blasphemous???

    "I find this term blasphemous and insulting to my religious beliefs"

    Really? To bad. Freedom of speech always wins out.

  9. Andy Worth

    @Kenny Millar

    "I find this term blasphemous and insulting to my religious beliefs"

    You're in the wrong place then....

  10. David Simpson
    Flame

    Yeshua was your lord stupid !

    @ Kenny Millar

    Why is it offensive to your religion ? Jesus is a name, your actual lord and saviour was called Yeshua (If he actually existed and was in fact actually the son of God)

    "Yeshua is the original Aramaic proper name for Jesus the Nazarene, who lived from about 6 B.C.E. to 27 C.E. (A.D.) The word "Jesus" is actually a mis-transliteration of a Greek mis-transliteration. The Emperor Constatine even mistook Jesus for Apollo, the son of the Greek god Zeus. In Hebrew Yeshua means Salvation while the name Jesus has no intrinsic meaning in English whatsoever. "

    There is nothing in the bible about not using that name, can't take it vain (which we are not ) and the only other bit that applies is not worshipping false idols.

    I certainly don't approve of worshipping apple like god but then apple fans do have alot in common with christians, not much education and a willingness to put faith over fact, you unlovable crazy bastards

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Kenny Millar

    So you want everybody to self censor to avoid offending your preferred brand of superstition?

    jesus christ man get a sense of humour

  12. s. pam
    Flame

    I'm calling B.S. on Apple's "Apology"

    For the record, Apple has not apologised to ANY customers of .Mac who had MobileMe shoved up their @#$% this past week. Why you chose to report they have w/o checking with .Mac ^ahem^ MobiledMe users is beyond reasonable journalistic standards guys.

    Seems they've already gotten their pound of flesh out of us, just the new folks buying 3GiPhones seem to be getting any attention. There's a lot more .MacMe users out there that have paid, and are now getting ignored.

    I'll be remembering this come April -- Apple may have my HW business, but they've lost me otherwise.

  13. Graham Dawson

    "If he actually existed and was in fact actually the son of God"

    The historical person of Jesus existed, we know that much, since he's recorded in extra-biblical historical records from the era. Whether he was the son of god is a matter of faith.

    I think it can be left at that.

    Now where did I put my MoPhone?

  14. Douglas Lowe
    Thumb Down

    @ Kenny Millar

    Apart from you being far too overly sensitive, your comparison doesn't even work as Jesus and Muhammad don't occupy similar roles in Christianity and Islam (the whole point of calling it the Jesus-phone is that he's the Son of God - whereas in Islam Muhammad was only a prophet).

  15. Steven Knox Silver badge
    Jobs Halo

    Jesus Phone

    If it's not, then why the Pope?

    Logic, that.

  16. Mark
    Stop

    @Kenny

    If you dont like it, dont read it!

    Opinions are like ar$eholes...everyone has one, and since we have heard your $hit, here's mine...

    I believe that you believe in a being that has no real proof of ever existing, and that the whole system of religion was created to control and extort money from the susceptible masses.

    Is your life so void of meaning and purpose that you resort to some preposterous ideology that once you have shuffled off this mortal coil your soul will be welcomed into heaven, and all us heathens will burn in hell?

    It is your belief system that invented hell, not mine. If I believe in a flying spaghetti monster would you fear its wrath?

    If you are happy to justify to yourself that religion is a worthwhile pursuit, even when looking at the number of deaths that it has caused throughout history, then thats up to you, just dont go expecting the rest of us to follow suit like good little sheeple.

    If I want to make light of what is actually a funny article then that's up to me now isn't it.

    You say I'll burn in hell, I'll call it a Jesus phone. Deal with it.

    Praise Jeebus....and the flying spaghetti monster!

  17. Seanie Ryan
    Heart

    @ everyone above except Kenny

    Am i the only one who saw the flames beside his post and took it for the tongue in cheek it seems to meant to be... an obvious attempt to start a flame war, usually meaning that the author is really saying it in jest.

    The rest of ye need to get a sense of humour if you ask me... talk about over-reacting.!! sure lets stone him altogether.

    I dont believe in Jebus...

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Funny stroy, but shame on Kenny Millar

    Could you please stop calling it a holy and righteous religion.

    I find these terms ridiculous and insulting to my intelligence.

    Try calling it the cult and see where that gets you.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Kenny Millar

    Just to clear things up and make sure we're on the same page here... which religious beliefs would these be? Christianity or Apple?

  20. Loki
    Gates Horns

    So....

    If Jesus was alive today, what kind of mobile phone would he use? Or would he denounce them as sinful and start smashing them up like he did with the money lenders.

  21. deive

    @David Simpson

    "you unlovable crazy bastards"

    hehehehe love it.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ David Simpson

    "apple fans do have alot in common with christians, not much education and a willingness to put faith over fact"

    What fact? In your head God doesn't exist and if that's what's in your head it must be fact and not belief?

  23. snafu

    Equal Opportunity Blasphemy

    But then, let's have Lester call it the Muhammad Phone for a while, anyway, and see what happens :D

    (What about CthulhuPhone, or CromPhone?)

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bad Manners

    Insulting others seems to be a sport for many on these here comments pages. Try to cultivate some good manners, it'll turn you into better people.

  25. michael
    Coat

    title title I do not need no stinking title

    "There is nothing in the bible about not using that name, can't take it vain (which we are not ) and the only other bit that applies is not worshipping false idols."

    and the iphone is not a FAULSE idol it is realy idal ...

    ok ok I am going no need ot push

  26. Law
    Paris Hilton

    @ Kenny Millar

    But if humans can walk along side dinosaurs then it's almost guaranteed JC has an iPhone....

    .... and attempting to spin it as the Mohammed phone, shame on you, those are far too many letters, where as Jesus rolls off the tongue! :)

    I am looking forward to getting the jPhone 3G(od) - I've heard in America they give you a free gun with every Baptist contract! Yey

  27. jai
    Jobs Halo

    blasphemy

    i'm highly offended too!!!!

    but then, i'm a fully paid up follower of the Cult of Apple, so the offense i take is from completely the opposite direction to that of Mr Millar

    after all, the iPhone Came, We Saw, and We Bought

    and now it has arisen again as was propesised by His Holiness Jobs

    i've even seen the holy trinity (the original, the 3g and the 16gb)

    i've not seen any similarly compelling evidence to prove the existance of Jesus

  28. Philip

    @s.pam

    "For the record, Apple has not apologised to ANY customers of .Mac who had MobileMe shoved up their @#$% this past week"

    Perhaps you haven't checked your email then. I got an apology and a 30-say extension. I don't think that's too bad.

    Projects cock up sometimes - yes even big ones. Anyone would think listening to the wailing Elreg Winbois that other companies had never fucked up a roll-out before. Get over yourselves.

  29. Garth
    Stop

    @Graham Dawson

    "The historical person of Jesus existed, we know that much, since he's recorded in extra-biblical historical records from the era."

    Incorrect. The closest I've ever heard anyone get to an extra-biblical source to an account of the historical source of the Jesus character even as a human advocating what the biblical Jesus advocated was some roman guy who was reporting on a cult's beliefs long after this Jesus character supposedly died/ascended.

    It doesn't mean he didn't exist, but there are no historical grounds to claim he did.

    Its a bit like saying that the FSM exists because someone wrote a report on Pastafarians for the Reg.

    Jesus was no Socrates.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    @Kenny Millar

    It's all good... we know you'll oblige when we ask for forgiveness.

    Mine's the one with an ancient imprint of a man in a dress on the back.

  31. Reptar

    Seriously Folks!

    "Either way, it does give new credence to the cult of the Jesus phone. Amen."

    Badum-chaa!

    Seriously folks, tip your waitress. I'm not kidding, they work hard. And try the house steak, it's delicious!

  32. adnim Silver badge

    Yup funny story..

    But not as funny as the comments. I prefer to call it the bollox phone, because it is bollox and one could also say the term applies to all religious deities.

    Blasphemy is a matter of opinion as far as a god is concerned. The OED definition of the word is partially invalid, and it should have its definition rewritten. Of the few things that are genuinely sacred and sacrosanct, life, truth, freedom of choice and honesty come to mind. Things that most if not all religions seem to blissfully piss all over.

  33. Thomas Silver badge

    It's a brilliant satire

    But not the one you think: the big Pope news today is that, while in Australia, he seems to be wriggling out of apologising to people who suffered sexual abuse in church institutions. So this is probably a comment on things the Catholic church won't apologise for versus things they actually have vicarious liability for.

    Either that or the LA Times guy is an idiot.

  34. pctechxp

    @Kenny

    I like you believe in God but I believe that God has a sense of humour so for goodness sake man, get a life!

    Was a cracking article, very funny

  35. Steve Mann

    Mohammed Phone

    But my colleague Mohammed doesn't have one.

    My other colleague, Jesus (pronounced "hay-zoos") does.

    QED.

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Seanie Ryan

    Well, yes it was an obvious troll but where's the fun in not biting?

  37. Tom
    Stop

    It is amazing

    Wow look at all the backlash for someone stating he believes in something. Way to go using your free speech to say what you believe in.

    Most of you do realize you are all tools right? Give him and me a break. Go bow down and praise your linsux/winblows /assle piece of junk. I'll be waiting in my bunker for it all to blow over and laugh my arse off when your shit wont turn on, and then your life is completely meaningless (or more apparently so, as it actually already is).

    Have a nice afterlife.

    /rant

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    I call it the jesus phone because:

    Flyingspaghettimonsterphone is a bit of a mouthful.

  39. Michael

    @ DeFex

    "Flyingspaghettimonsterphone is a bit of a mouthful."

    Little did you know all those GSM Phones are all typos...

    Damn fat fingers!

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It is amazing

    Hey tom, (sure its not cletus?),

    go ahead and hide in your bunker with the rest of the retards, we may be tools but you're a twat.

  41. le jono
    Gates Horns

    I just

    love the picture...

  42. smell fresher

    @Thomas Re: It's a brilliant satire

    I once knew a bloke called Thomas who was a cunt.

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo

    @Thomas

    "the big Pope news today is that, while in Australia, he seems to be wriggling out of apologising..."

    Am I the only one here to whom the idea of the pope 'wriggling' is disturbing?

  44. mario
    Thumb Down

    @David Simpson

    "I certainly don't approve of worshipping apple like god but then apple fans do have alot in common with christians, not much education and a willingness to put faith over fact, you unlovable crazy bastards"

    i take it you've got a lot of education in that skull of yours and are intelligent enough to comment on my education, are you son?

    now fuck off...

  45. Pete
    Joke

    Kenny's post

    WAS A JOKE

    Some of you people really need to get a sense of humour.

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Taking the name of humour in vain

    "Some of you people really need to get a sense of humour."

    The single cause of everything that's bad in the world are people that insult others in the name of humour.

  47. Buddha
    Flame

    Offence taken

    Hey... no-one has bothered to call it a Buddhaphone, and I'm getting disheartened on the grounds that none of my believers are being given the opportunity to get themselves worked up into a proper fit of religious wrath over it. Come on, guys, spread the blasphemy around fairly, willya?

  48. Tim
    Jobs Horns

    When they called it the JesusPhone...

    Were they refering to Jesus Barrabas, Jesus Christ or Jesus Montoya?

    Does the Buddha phone make a Buddha-buddha noise when it rings?

  49. Charley
    Stop

    For the love of all that's holy!

    "The single cause of everything that's bad in the world are people that insult others in the name of humour."

    Single cause.

    Singular verb.

    Is people, not are people.

    Jaysus!

    /pedant

  50. Sceptical Bastard

    @ almost everyone

    At everyone who took Kenny seriously. There's this humorous concept called 'irony' ... heard of that? No? Well, it doesn't mean being slightly like iron.

    Quote: "Try to cultivate some good manners, it'll turn you into better people."

    No it won't. It'll turn you into a well-mannered mealy-mouthed opinionless bland wimp.

    Quote: "The single cause of everything that's bad in the world are people that insult others in the name of humour."

    Thanks for that stunning insight which explains, inter alia, the actions of Ghengis Khan, the Crusaders, Napolean, Stalin, Hitler, Mao, Pol Pot, Saddam, George W Bush and the 9/11 Saudi suicide scum. I can't believe you made such a patently moronic remark on a public webpage. On second thoughts, I can believe it - look how many people thought Kenny was being serious.

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    @@ Kenny Millar

    I used to work for Jesus.

    His phone was a Nokia, and has "The Final Countdown" as it's ringtone.

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    There's no prob...

    ...with Bob.

    -- Pope Ourri of Scottsdale

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