back to article Enraged devil dog lover locks on to Reg photo team

Our photographer's unprecedented access to the world's trouble spots and glamorous events has been a big hit with Reg readers in recent weeks. He's brought us powerful images from Heathrow, amazing shock celebrity snaps, and terrifying scenes from the battle of Lesbos (all potentially NSFW). Not everyone's happy at seeing …

COMMENTS

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  1. Gavin
    Pirate

    mmmmm

    If they can't take a bit of piss take then piss off and grow a thicker skin.

    As for some media fear mongering i agree some of it does make you think, "jeeze what shit are they stiring with this" but if 90% of the world population wasn't a dribbling idiot that believes anything they're told then there'd no problem.

    My 2 pennies worth

  2. Chris Purcell
    Thumb Up

    Execution!

    "Lester will indeed be executed in true police state style"

    Now *that*, we need a picture of...

  3. Anonymous John

    that are slowly policing us into Nazi germany,

    Can I be the first to invoke Godwin's Law?

  4. Rob Sked
    Happy

    For Double FoTW . . .

    . . . does Anthony win a medal?

    Or is he visited and tasered until he leans to write in the King English?

  5. JP Sistenich
    Coat

    DAMMIT!

    Why are Cheese and Onion crisps ALWAYS the ones used in any media representation? There are SO many more flavours out there, not to mention Salt and Vinegar being the best flavour ever! Cheese and Onion is DISGUSTING, I wouldn't even feed it to my BABY, let alone my Staffy!

    My disappointment in El Reg spreading the falsehood of the dominance of C&O flavoured crisps is disgraceful, and I shall be cancelling my subscription forthwith. Chris Williams should be taken out, peeled, sliced, grilled, and turned into whatever flavour anyone chooses, as long as it's not C&O!

    Mine's the green one with all the crumbs...

  6. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Twat-o-tron strikes again!

    Or if not, is there any way of feeding the Reg's Flame of the Week into its databanks?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @What a tard

    Jesus, f'ing christ :( I feel dirty just knowing a moron of that magnitude is even aware of (let alone reading) a news source I frequent.

    I always wonder who the people who post this stuff are, I find it hard to believe they can't be detected in real life somehow? Surely no one (in)capable enough to post that has to be 'special' on a whole new level.

  9. pastamasta
    Go

    Shame on you

    Anthony is absolutely correct in his assessment of the gentle and unassuming nature of the Staffordshire bull terrier. I've spent many a peaceful mealtime feeding my own Staffie chips, which he takes delicately from my mouth. I'm unable to feed him with my fingers since he viciously ripped them off with his slavering jaws after a game of tug got slightly heated, but otherwise he is a model of canine restraint.

  10. Rob
    Coat

    Marmite!

    It's Marmite crisps you should be plugging, or at least Prawn Cocktail...

    Mine's the one with crumbs in the pockets.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Brilliant!

    What a great response, written with pure passion... And of course, totally biased. =)

    I've seen a man riding on the back of a Lion, but that doesn't mean Lions aren't dangerous animals.

  12. drunk.smile

    Noooo.... Don't Kill Lester! The humanity!

    "You'll be glad to hear that Lester will indeed be executed in true police state style"

    I'm sure I'm not the first to ask, but can we have a playmobile recreation of this.

  13. A. Coatsworth
    Happy

    FoTW FTW!

    Machines will never replace humans, and this is a proof of it:Twat-o-Tron is no match for this fine lad...

    Would he teach the ways of the rant? If so, check me in!

  14. Simon
    IT Angle

    why..

    "Why are Cheese and Onion crisps ALWAYS the ones used in any media representation?"

    Because Staffys tend to rip the legs off any salt and vinegar proffering babies ( in a gentle way ).

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Hang on a minute....

    ...how can he win Double FoTW if he generated it with the Tw@t-O-Tron?

    Not Fair.....

  16. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  17. pctechxp
    Happy

    ROFLMAO

    very funny

    This guy obviously has too much time on his hands.

    Got to hand it to Lester though, that guy has a top quality sense of humour and most of you don't do bad either, its why I never go more than a few days without visiting the Reg

    excellent work, keep it up.

  18. Dave Harris

    Twat-o-tron 2.0

    Beta - adds cute stuff (eg being fed by babies)

    Though I'm surprised no mention of the "musilms being behind,this"

  19. Evil Graham
    Stop

    No! Cheese and Onion Are The BEST

    How can you compare the kick-in-the-face immediacy of salt n' vinegar (note the compulsory " n' " there) with the warm creeping fustiness of cheese n' onion?

    Mind you, the recent arrival of Marmite flavour has tempted me away from my former favourite.

    You bastard, I'm starving now. I'm going down to the snack machine to see if there any left.

    Now then, who wants to start a Hobnob vs. chocolate digestive debate?

  20. Mike Crawshaw
    Joke

    Leave off the alsations Chris!!

    Or I'll be making multiple visits to the Twat-O-Tron myself!

    (PS mine (alsation, not ToT) prefers "green" snack-a-jacks to Cheese & Onion... they're healthier, he's very good with that...)

  21. Thomas Silver badge

    Dear El Reg, what should I have for dinner tonight?

    My theory is that if you knowingly allow me to make my own decision, you'll lose your jobs in the media. Right?

  22. Jamie Kitson

    That Reminds Me

    What ever happened to the excellent Rotten Dog Blog?

  23. Jamie Kitson

    I Smell The Tw*t-O-Tron At Work

    For sure!

  24. Jesse
    Thumb Up

    Pure Gold

    "...i have seen staffys sharing crisps with babies before they are so gentle, they are so emotional "

    I've seen Snow White singing to the birds while they wrap a blue ribbon around a dog who is breast feeding babies that are riding pink ponies with unicorns dancing in the mist. So gripping, so emotional.

    Death to the CEO of Playmobil!

  25. Glenn Amspaugh
    Unhappy

    Under the influence?

    Man, I wish I could get that drunk (while here at work on the hell desk).

  26. benito darder oliver
    Happy

    maybe they would prefer another solution...

    like shoot the owner and later shoot everybody else in the city/county/country/world to protect the poor dog from de devil humans...

    really, if something cant stand 50000 volts, i think it's better resign...

  27. Gilbert Wham

    Which is better?

    Salt n Vinegar Smiths Square crisps (crisp version of crack, fuck Pringles) or Marmite flavour? Tough call, huh?

  28. kissingthecarpet
    Go

    Remember Smiths 'Savoury Vinegar' flavour

    - it was vicious, left your mouth feeling like it'd been chewing razor-blades while drinking sea water....

    The only thing that comes close now is Nice'n'Spicy NikNaks, but they lack the chemical burn that only the 1970's flavours could supply.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    I like cheese & onion

    They're my favourite. So if you guys don't want them I'll have the lot. Yum!

  30. Andy Bright
    Flame

    True Devil Dogs

    I'm afraid I have to side with our crisp-sharing dog lover. Staffys aren't Devil Dogs, only one breed can lay claim to evil incarnate.

    The true Devil Dogs as any owner can confirm, are Beagles. My own dog, while not being pure Beagle, has through a satanic quirk of fate inherited all the cuteness genes from the Beagle side of her mutthood.

    And why, I might hear you ask, do I say Beagles are the Devil?

    Go ahead, buy one and wait a year or so. Better yet, borrow one that's fully grown.

    Then knock on the door or ring the doorbell.

    That fucking bark will drive you infuckingsane. But no sooner do you put the shotgun to its head, it will look up at you in all its cuteness and quite probably cast some evil spell of bleeding heart nancy boy upon you.. crushing your resolve to rid the world of one its most insidious pests.

    Fire thingy because they're the Devil..

  31. Jolyon Ralph
    Stop

    Cheese and Onion

    Am I the only one who feels that something should be done about Walkers Crisps reversing the ISO standard colours of Green for Salt and Vinegar and Blue for Cheese and Onion?

    It used to cause me no end of confusion. Forget OOXML, this is the real problem with standards facing the 21st century.

    Jolyon

  32. Jolyon Ralph
    Stop

    Cheese and Onion

    Of course I meant the ISO standard colours of Green for Cheese and Onion and Blue for Salt and Vinegar. You see what confusion those Walkers bastards continue to cause?

    Jolyon

  33. Andy Tunnah

    meh!

    altho the guy is well and truly worthy of wearing the FoTW badge, i just have to stick up for the poor lil bastards being slandered

    the problem with staffies is the origins for which they come from. just like any dog, they can be vicious and switch if not treated right, but because they're a very tough dog, when they do switch they tend to cause a lot more damage

    but also because they're tough, ppl think they'd make great show-of-force dogs, or guard dogs (they're SHIT guard dogs, too inquisitive, terrier nature) and its these ppl who are raising em wrong and raising them to be vicious

    you check the stats for dog attack instances per breed over the last 20 years and staffies have only been rising since mid 90s or so when the prices dropped of pups (they used to be like 800, now can be 150) and they became another chavcessory that it started to rise

    i have a staff and shes the sweetest dog in the world, and i've had 4 before her and never once have they gone for anyone, and when i play or fight with them they have an amazing ability to attack, pin, and subdue you without ever breaking the skin (very funny party piece btw)

    we should just ban chavs from owning dogs and it will be fine :D

  34. Seán

    Cleveland Steamer

    http://www.clevelandseniors.com/family/petpray.htm

  35. Paul

    RE: Cheese and Onion

    Now we have got to the real problem.

    And as for those people slating C&O crisps, there are only 3 real flavours, Cheese and Onion, Salt and Vinigar & plain. FACT. End of!

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    I can't stand all the horrible things in the world!

    It has to be the fault of the people to write about them and take pictures after the fact! Damn you journalists! I bet you don't even know that before journalism was invented, we all lived in peace with everyone and all the animals and nations didn't exist and the wind would tie your shoelaces and we lived in harmony with the curd and the tofu and pit bulls were regularly elected to parliament......

    [no carrier]

  37. Graham Lockley

    Shurely shome mishtake ???

    'i have seen staffys sharing crisps with babies'

    A typo surely ? Im sure the 'with' should have been 'and'.....

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    You All Have It Wrong

    Perhaps everyone is reading the complaint incorrectly. With the inability to sting a real sentance together, and with obvious spelling and gramatical mistakes, pehaps he actually mean to say:

    "I've seen them sharing crisps AND babies!"

    Perhaps he was attempting to reference a previous incident he witenessed were a pack of Staffys had all met up in his local park, and where communally eating crisps and babies!

  39. Ron Eve
    Heart

    LMBO

    I just managed to pick up on this piece while slaving over 200+ upgrades over the weekend. Perfect timing. Just as I'm going completely hat-stand I wibble over to El Reg for some 'relief'. That was one of the funniest comments section for ages.

    Do keep it up chaps, I can now go forward unto tomorrow (Sunday) in joyous peace.

    BTW. I'm really glad no-one mentioned the sulphurous abomination that is Monster Munch...

  40. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  41. tony trolle

    I wish

    lays (walkers owners) in the states did cheese and onion sob sob......

  42. Evil Graham
    Happy

    Colour coding - damn right

    Yeah Jolyon, good point. How many times have I fished around in the cupboard for a packet of cheese n' onion, only to utter an exasperated "d'oh!" as my booty turns out to be yet another Walkers imposter salt n' vinegar.

    However, without wishing to sound picky - might I remind you that there is also an ISO standard for the " n' " abbreviation between crisp flavour pairs, as there is for the fish / chip combination meal.

    Does anyone remember hedgehog flavour?

    http://www.doyouremember.co.uk/memory.php?memID=4286

  43. Richard Avery

    Cuddly Staffs & Cheese / Onion

    Staffs are one of only two breeds the kennel club recommend as highly suited to children http://www.thekennelclub.org.uk/item/87 but don't let the facts get in the way of a good story!

    I refuse to each cheese and onion crisps until they put them back in the green bags http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/media/walkers.jpg/

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @rob

    "Or is he visited and tasered until he leans to write in the King English?"

    I realise it's kinda hard to tell but i believe we have a Queen

  45. DZ-Jay

    Re: For Double FoTW . . .

    >> "Or is he visited and tasered until he leans to write in the King English?"

    Oh, the irony!

    -dZ.

  46. This post has been deleted by its author

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    ISO chip colours?

    Sorry, youf *ukc*ign mornos the ISO chip collers R:

    Purple: Salt'n'Vingar

    Gren: Chikin

    Blue: Plain

    Yellow: Cheev'n'nunyun

    Ornage: BBQ-queue

    Red: Chilly

    Black: Crunchy frog.

  48. Mark
    Coat

    Early alpha

    This guy is obviously an early alpha release and needs considerable work before general release.

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Staffies

    Thing is the only type of person who wants a staffy are raving psychopaths.

    True, a 'normal' person could train one to be civilised, but a 'normal' person wouldn't want one.

    I think Anthony demonstrates that somewhat...

  50. dervheid
    Unhappy

    @ Dog Licences

    Good Idea Math. In principle anyway. Problem is, with gov.uk being so 'on-line' these days, that's where you'd be able to get your Mutt Permit, and, as NO-ONE ever tells porkies when filling in this kind of thing on line, this system will easily weed out all the maladjusted arseholes who really shouldn't have a dog, of any kind.

    No, sorry, my mistake, it won't.

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    What I want to know is

    Where can I buy really ruthless crisps they had to be the best flavours ever, end of story don't argue with me because my opinion is FACT and everyone else is wrong.

    (flame because they're damned hot)

  52. g e
    Thumb Up

    Truly splendid illiterate ranting

    PLUS... he doesn't want to give up his guns or knives. Cute. You gotta control that slavering cerberus somehow I guess.

    And why, exactly would you feed a baby crisps though to be fair the words 'choking' and 'hazard' ARE polysyllabic... Or maybe gun-toting knife-wielding staffy-owning pikey-chav babies are born with razor sharp teeth allowing them to chew their way through crisps burgers and kebabs from the get-go.

    Like Chucky... I wonder if they're all born ginger too...

  53. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

    Staffys sharing with babies...

    Hitler was a baby once. Makes you think, doesn't it.

  54. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Darwin Award?

    If ever there was a case for pre-emptively issuing a Darwin Award, "Anthony" is it. He clearly has no more than three brain cells to rub together, regardless of how well trained a "staffy" is, no one in their right mind would let one "share crisps with a baby" (incidentally who feeds crisps to a baby?). Maybe the nazi/homeland security types should call in and check on his parenting skills too... Maybe they could taser him in the head, you never know it might stimulate a growth in brain cells...

    Dead Bird thingy: Because it's the closest icon available to show "Anthony" after a visit from naziland security....

  55. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    no comment

    I just wanted to use the Paris icon for a dog story =)

  56. Nick

    im confused

    was the dog feeding the baby crisps or the baby feeding the dog?

    either way, theyre on the money!

    icon because you need protection with both Paris and Staffies

  57. Gianni Straniero
    Dead Vulture

    Crisp-munchin' dog

    Well, he's not very handsome to look at:

    He's shaggy and eats like a hog

    And he's always killin' my neighbours

    That dirty old crisp-munchin' dog.

    Crisp-munchin' dog

    I'm gonna stomp your head in the ground

    If you don't stay out of my snack foods

    You dirty old crisp-munchin' hound.

    Now if he don't stop eatin' my crisps up

    Though I'm not a real bad guy

    I'm goin' to get my rifle and send him

    To that great food-and-wine in the sky.

    Crisp-munchin' dog

    You're always a-hangin around

    But you'd better stay out of my snack foods

    You dirty old crisp-munchin' hound.

  58. Chris Cheale

    Nnnnggg...

    May have to execute Chris Williams as well for use of the word "ginormous"... *shudders*

  59. Chika

    Do I have to spell it out?

    C-H-E-E-S-E-A-N-D-O-N-I-O-N-S... (The Rutles)

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    what a looser

    why do i still bother reading this? first i read a rant from a devil dog owning chav with a chip on his sholder then discussion somehow degenerates from this "important subject" to a deiscussion about crisps! which wouldn't be so bad if there was a single real crisp lover amoung you! where do monstermunch figure? these have been around unchanged for years, theres a reason for that .

    any self respecting staffy would tear his owner to pieces rather than share a bag of monstermunch. i say ban chavs with devil dogs and increase the size of monstermunch bags.

    paris because she love a monster munch, no pun there

  61. Rob
    Thumb Up

    @ Andy Tunnah

    "we should just ban chavs from owning dogs and it will be fine :D"

    Far too much work, just ban chavs.

  62. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Crisps...

    Cheese 'n' onion - bizarrely, just about the only non-vegetarian crisps about.

    Paris, because someone metioned Lays...

  63. Swee' Pea

    Ultimate Price?

    At least Lester will be spared the sacrifice of being educated.

  64. GnomelandSecurity
    Boffin

    Chipping In

    As an american, I have to say that you all take this stuff far too seriously. The police around here shoot people if they're getting out their driver's license in a 'suspicious' way. ( Sad, but true. About 5 times so far in the last year. Just in this city. Wild, huh?) We tend to tiptoe around them and be very VERY polite. Yes, sir. No, sir. Keeping my hands where you can see them, sir.

    The concept of the police using their firearms responsibly and as a last resort? Wow. That would be great. If your dog snarls at a cop here, he's already got his gun in hand and is preparing to empty the clip into your cute canine friend's cuddly face. As far as tasers go...yeesh. They use em on 11 year old kids, dogs, homeless people, paramedics who get in way, motorists, bicycle evangelicals, your granny, their own granny, students, people who look like students, etc. Sometimes they use em on an actual criminal, but it's just a happy accident really.

    So chin up! Your cops may be ill-trained pet snuffers, but they sound charmingly old world and not likely at all to mug you for meth money.

    On the chip subject (crisps, whatever) I had to look up Marmite. Used brewer's yeast? So...beer flavored chips?! I... am aghast. England is obviously holding back their advances in potato snack science, which we in America desperately need. Be warned, english! We hunger!

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