back to article ITV challenges Beeb for cheap innuendo crown

It appears ITV is not prepared to take the BBC's challenge for the schoolboy innuendo headline crown lying down, and on Saturday offered up its pitch for the title: 'Butt seized by terror police', says ITV Not bad, but aficionados of the genre will, of course, see that ITV has missed a trick here in not rendering this as " …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Mark

    Hah! And when the police are investigated for it:

    "Terror Police Grabbing Butt Probe"


  2. Openminded Cynic

    My Personal Favourite

  3. Daniel

    oh the puns

    "Sadly after a lot of probing, he was found to be full of sh*t"

  4. Anonymously Deflowered

    Butt licked by police in airport snatch climax

    Would be my effort.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    The BBC has done better filth in the past

    Check out this headline:

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    @Anonymously Deflowered

    Brilliant! Perhaps you have missed your true calling.

  7. Anonymous John

    It's a good job

    that the police didn't kick him.

  8. Ron Enderland
    Paris Hilton

    Butt, Head Recruiter, Arrested

    Paris, because she shows how far a butt head can make it in this world

  9. Johnny FireBlade

    There's still time...

    Once his case goes to court:

    "Butt is presented in court"

    Or if he's withholding evidence:

    "Butt sits on vital evidence"

    And of course, once he finally gets to prison:

    "Prisoners kick Butt" or "Butt gets shafted by inmates"

  10. Chika

    aheheh hehehehehehehh

    .. actually, I always preferred Daria.


  11. Barn

    Will he help them find...

    Weapons of Ass Destruction?



  12. alphaxion

    sky sports still hold the title

    I have a screen cap of their website when they had a story that was titled something along the lines of "seaman in back".. I can't remember, I'll have to search my archives when I get home.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Butt fingered in terror probe

    ... officers reportedly pleased with a job well done.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Oops, forgot the obligatory...

    Evidence described as "firm, and likely to stand up in court".

  15. David Cornes

    Expect to see...

    Butt cracks under police probing :-D

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ITV Lack Originality

    When you consider that the Pakistan cricket team's opening batsman is one Salman Butt and has been in remarkably good form of late so has been in the cricket headlines.

    Sadly Salman's form has been so good that tight finishes have been few and far between so headlines about Butt scraping, et cetera have been avoided by the cricket sites.

    Come on ITV, you can do better than this!

  17. Sam


    Isn't that Spanish for suppository?

  18. Chris

    Oh Lester

    "Terror police grab Butt"?

    Don't be silly. Everyone knows they couldn't find it with both hands. (Or is that strictly an American idiom?)

  19. lardheppus
    Paris Hilton

    Terror Police pinch Butt

    Paris, because she hasn't been pinched lately.

  20. Lukin Brewer

    In the (holy) spirit of innuendo

    Can't remember where I saw this, but here goes...

    There was once a vicar whose church was falling apart. He tried to raise funds for repairs, but the only donation he received was a live donkey. Not knowing what to do with it, he entered it in the local races. But it seems that God was on his side, for the donkey kept up with the main pack! The local paper reported:

    "Vicar shows his ass at racetrack."

    The vicar was inspired to persevere, and trained up his donkey as best he could. It seemed to work - at the next race, it came second! The papers said:

    "Vicar's ass looking good."

    "Vicar's ass shows good form."

    The vicar kept at it, and the next race, his donkey came first in both the flat race and the steeplechase! The papers said:

    "Vicar's ass out in front."

    "Vicar's ass sweeps board."

    Then the bishop of the diocese heard about it and told the vicar that he was getting the wrong sort of publicity, and must withdraw the donkey from competition. The papers said:

    "Bishop scratches Vicar's ass."

    "Vicar's ass: banned it."

    Growing increasingly stressed, the bishop tells the vicar to get rid of the donkey immediately. He hands it over to the local convent. The papers say:

    "Holy fight continues. Vicar's ass handed to nunnery."

    "Mother Superior has fastest ass in town."

    Prescription for blood-pressure medicine in hand, the bishop orders the Mother Superior to have the animal quietly destroyed. The papers are on this like a shot:

    "Mother Superior killing ass for Bishop."

    "Mother Superior sells ass on Bishops orders."

    "Mother Superior's ass butchered by men with big choppers."

    "Nuns' ass on meat rack, $5 per portion."

    But the bishop got his wish. The headline the next day read:

    "Bishop dies from heart attack."

This topic is closed for new posts.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019