back to article DVD smut malware blights US forces in Iraq

Malware infected bootleg DVDs bought from Iraqi souks are causing US troops all sorts of problems. "Porno-Viruses" spread on these DVDs are triggering issues with so-called computer "RAM-rot". The popularity of smutty videos among Iraqi troops, in particular, is a concern, according to US Army Reserve Capt. Michael Noonan. " …

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  1. Christoph Silver badge

    Well of course it is

    Of course none of the US troops look at porn - it's all those funny foreigners

  2. Im_Gumby
    Paris Hilton

    Minor correction

    "Due to the average male aged 17-40's love of pornography, my memory stick would be filthy with viruses every time I had to go and get documents from my counterpart or his section NCOs,"

    Fixed that for you.

    /Paris 'cause she's a star

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Iraqi troops?

    Only the Iraqi soldiers have a penchant for porno, or course. Red-blooded American boys in their teens and early 20's, in a place with a shortage of females, would never, ever, resort to such perverted practices.

    News about the viruses doesn't surprise me none, though. I taught at a university in the Middle East about 12 years ago, and the students would trade virus-infected video games, which they would then play on the classroom computers when they were supposed to be studying.

    We used to have to have a "Virus Eradication Day" once every semester or so, when every computer on campus got cleaned at the same time to prevent them re-infecting each other. Didn't help as most virii were transmitted via floppy disk at the time.

    Mine's got the electronic condoms in the pocket...

  4. Petrea Mitchell
    Coat

    So you say the armed forces are rampant with...

    D-VD?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Im_Gumby

    Porn Is banned for sale on US bases and is frown up to posses

  6. Daniel B.
    Boffin

    @AC

    Oh. You just reminded me of the olden days of everyone copying Prince of Persia from floppy to floppy back in school. Some unfortunate kid got his floppy infected with NATAS, and because of the floppy-copy stuff, it quickly spread to almost everyone's PC, including mine.

    The NATAS+Prince of Persia case was so common nationwide (Mexico) that it was sometimes referred as "the Prince [of Persia] curse".

    Change "floppy" to "DVD" and "Prince of Persia" to "porn" and I think you have your case. :)

  7. peter
    Happy

    Fascinating

    How viruses seem to spread in an anthropomorphic manner to me.

    Bit offtopic but made me think of an old idea.

    I thought a great method of predicting human virus distribution would be bluetooth enabled phones set up to deliberately and safely infect each other, in cooperation with the owner. So an infected person stepping onto a train would then pass it on, and so on until everyone is a carrier.

    Then map back the process, because each phone using basic triangualtion would immediately upload a simple infected mesasage with loaction, time and also infected phones it found so far, plus repeated infection attempts. This would ideally be a beneficial parasitic realtionship so free porn or something for all participants, or fixing security risks in devices so it remains part of the system benefiting the owner.

    Similar to the late 90's mapping of virus infected computers sleeping on one side of the globe (from being turned off) then waking up as if following dawn and work start times around the world.

    Someone needs to do some pretty pictures and CGI to represent this stat.

  8. Pyros
    Paris Hilton

    Not new

    Everyone sniffs at porn--that's what the Internet is for. Even your mother.

    It's just they don't know how to use anti-virus products and good anti-script methods properly. It's like condoms and pregancy.

    I fancy a new business or two arriving within the Mid-East in the upcoming future!

    Paris, because she'd be a good spokesperson for those new start-ups...

  9. heystoopid
    Paris Hilton

    @AC

    @ac surely you jest , for a certain hotline during office hours only in DC at the Pentagon is literally rung off the hook by the very large volume of complaints from the female combat troops in the region in question , of harassment of assorted evil ways from their love starved male US counterparts . It used to be a 24 hour service but the investigators assigned to the office were quite literally run off their feet by the huge volume of verifiable valid complaints !

    Ah yes boys will certainly be boys , however you seemed to forget the very large percentage of the troops at actually the older reservist variety using weaponry that dates back to the earlier days of that crazy Asian War whom the draft dodger chimp they call boss , ran away from to hide behind the skirts of his daddy's friend's wives and daughters !

    We live in strange times indeed !

  10. M Greig
    Joke

    STD for Computers?

    So - viruses spread by porn - excellent! Wartime often sees the spread of disease - so why not cyberSTDs

    :-)

  11. Hate2Register

    Privates of Porn

    Well maybe, if you don't want your "memory" stick infected, you should watch where you stick it. Blaming the poor Iraqis for squaddies' scrot rot is really below the belt.

    "Yeah, my guys are all clean as a whistle, but obviously the Iraqis are infected with all sorts of nasty infections. So when I try and download some #MAPS# or other #BATTLEFIELD GRAPHICS#, that, like, I asked the Iraqis for, they, like, seem to infect me with the same virus. But before I was so clean. Ask anyone. Ask my wife."

    Anyway, I've seen Arab porn before. It's crap. Get your own porn boyo.

    Another comedy moment from El Reg. Or was it made up?

  12. J
    Paris Hilton

    Yeah...

    Them boys are crazy for porn, sure... (and apparently are able to get it without much difficulty).

    If you are an Iraqi girl though, just be seen talking to a Brit soldier and you get killed ("honor killing") by your own father and brothers (with the police's approval, by the way):

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/may/11/iraq.humanrights

    What hope have such type of people? What hope have we, hypocritically dealing with them whenever is of profit for us? And isn't a deeply religious society a beauty too? (and make no mistake, it's chock full of Merkins over here who'd love to live by Leviticus and do the same things these primitive people do)

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Disable Autorun

    http://nick.brown.free.fr/blog/2007/10/memory-stick-worms.html

    It makes no sense to allow anything to run automatically. Unless, of course, you're the one who's trying to infect the machine.

    Boot sector viruses, amazing they're still around. Actually I'm sure I still have some floppy disks that have boot sector viruses in storage...

  14. James Pickett
    Paris Hilton

    Culture shock

    I'm not surprised the locals are taken with such things - if every girl you've seen hitherto has been clad from head to foot in a burqua, it must be an absolute revelation!

    Paris - well, she could encourage the troops...

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Petrea Mitchell

    Thread over - you win.

  16. Simon

    used to be a 24 hour service

    "...a certain hotline during office hours only in DC...used to be a 24 hour service but the investigators assigned to the office were quite literally run off their feet by the huge volume of verifiable valid complaints..."

    That'd be about right - Too many complaints, so instead of increasing capacity to deal with them, they restrict the hours complaints can be made...

  17. TrishaD

    Solution?

    Practice safe hex.....

    (I'm here all week, folks...)

  18. Dr. E. Amweaver
    Paris Hilton

    Weapons of Mass Turbation?

    G'night folks!

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Average male..

    "Due to the average male aged 17-40's love of pornography,..."

    Do men over 40 stop looking at porn?????

    Paris, of course.

  20. Richard
    Coat

    As far as STD's go...

    better your memory "stick" be viral...

    Mine's the one with the crab-infested ipod in the pocket

  21. Alan
    Unhappy

    @AC

    "Porn Is banned for sale on US bases and is frown up to posses"

    Do you mind translating the second half of that sentence into English

  22. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Solution

    They should just shoot them up. The infected DVDs, I mean.

  23. Henry Cobb
    Linux

    Just say no to insecure OSes?

    Seems like somebody would develop a simple fix.

  24. Peyton
    Stop

    @Christoph, Im_Gumby

    Nowhere in the article does it say "US troops do not look at pr0n." It says there's a problem with viruses coming preloaded on the illicit DVDs. I'm sure the US troops are probably just downloading their porn from the net and avoiding some of that. Or maybe they have better virus protection on their machines - it really doesn't matter as the article is hardly in-depth.

    sheesh

  25. Chris
    Happy

    @ TrishaD

    " Practice safe hex.....

    (I'm here all week, folks...)"

    really - think I'll come back to the reg next week then

  26. Michael Z. Williamson
    Paris Hilton

    Nice double standard....

    @heystoopid

    Wait, Bush in the Guard was a "Draft dodger," but troops in the Guard before and since are not?

    I also wasn't aware that learning to fly a high performance fighter was done by "favoritism."

    When exactly did you serve, by the way?

    Paris, for the logical disconnect.

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