Lashings of ginger beer
Who else noticed the url of this story????????
Is it only here because of the clearly crow-barred in reference to mobile phones and laptops?? (No mobes or lappys though)
In further proof that there is not a single original concept left in the universe, another dusty retro classic is to be reheated in various media for today's ungrateful slack-jawed youth. The Times is jolly thrilled to report that Enid Blyton's venerable Famous Five, now 66 years old, are to return in a Disney Channel film. …
In other breaking news;
Kirrin Bay is now Kirrinatoga, California!
They all have superpowers!
Everyone enjoys lashings of Coca Cola at the local McDonalds!
Timmy's a robot!
George's dad is a scientist working for an evil maniac in the secret volcano lair on Kirrin Island!
The American kid saves the day!
This story reminds me of the comic strip production in the title. Wonder if it's kicking around on the net somewhere, be good to see it again..
Presumably the 'lashings of ginger beer' will be replaced by alcopops in the modern version, Joyoto will be happy-slapped and the dog will savage a small child and be put down. I think I'm getting the hang of this user-generated story thing, off to submit it now.
My childhood has just been destroyed in one go! Why can't these people stick to the originals. Phones??? Laptops??? What happened to a buried map and a compass??? Postman Pat's already been buggered up completely so why don't Disney stick to the mouse. He seems to have worked fine for them in the past!
With th new phones and the anti-nanny state stance it sounds like it'll be a film about a bunch of asbo-wannabes! Grrrrr!
one of the girls should be asian and smart, the other should be white and one step away from Vicki Pollard, both should be smashed on alcopops. The dog should be a banned breed, one of the boys should be on an ASBO for giving a rival football supporter a kicking, the other afraid of his own shadow due to the "hide them away" parents he has. All should be shiftless, lazy, self-absorbed and have only 10 adjectives in their vocabulary (most of them obscene).
I think it's great, but they could do so much better..
Forget ginger bear, making it russian vodka, or pints of cider. 'George' could have just come out of the nick for prostitution, Jo's got a few asbo's already, and ain't afraid to use em. You just need a mechanic who sorts out nicked cars, the one who's smartly dressed (repeat hitman) and an oliver twist type. They all wear hoodies, carry knives and guns, the laptops and mobiles are all nicked (why pay when you can 'borrow'?) and the task of the day is to find the local snitch and teach em a lesson, and get some cheap smack while they're at it
Isn't that more modern? Or am I just a bit cynical? Oh sorry it's disney, reality doesn't exist (except when bambi's dad got shot for dinner...)
Old man rant over. mine's the one with gramophone receipt in
I think it needs more depth.
Something like George decides she wants a sex change because she has always felt more comfortable as a man. Anne is upset because she had fallen in love with George, and didnt know if she could still love her as a man.
So Anne leans on Julian, they end up sleeping together and Anne gets pregnant. Dick is upset because he was in love with Julian.
Love triangles for the win.
Why is that updates of certain stories fondly remembered from childhood, e.g. Thunderbirds and Famous Five, trigger great wrath, and others not, e.g. Robin Hood, Sherlock Holmes and, for that matter, the Gospel of John? When the BBC updated Robin Hood there were a few "lol Robin Hoodie and what's that towelhead doing there" sniggers, but there wasn't this much "oh noes my childhood" stuff.
Stories get updated. Since pretty much every story is a variant on the same three different plotlines (1. man meets woman 2. man fights man 3. man fights world) anyway, the only difference between an update and a supposedly 'new' story is the degree to which they admit that there are no original ideas, ever, anywhere.
When someone chooses to update a story and its characters, it may be laziness and it may be a pale imitation, but no matter how bad it is it's a tribute to the enduring appeal of that story that someone wants to update it. Now this being Disney, I'd put my money on it being actually lazy and a pale imitation, but even so I do have to give some some grudging kudos for writing a story in which kids go out on a moor without GPS and filling in a risk assessment first. And to a lot of people the 25% ethnic minority proportion is conservative compared to reality.
According to the beeb "their enemies include a DVD bootlegger"
So basically the whole thing is a big long anti-piracy advert. Next week they'll be fighting the evil MP3 downloaders !
I remember kids programs used to have some sort of 'moral message', nowadays that appears to have been replaced with a 'corporate message' !
What other brainwashing and subliminal messages can we look forward to?
George was not a lesbian, I think the euphemism is "greedy" today. (ie fucks anything)
G. Oh Timmy your sooo licky
A. Dont let him do that George,
G. But he likes it,
Dick was gay though and had a massive crush on Julian the team leader of the group, no matter what the BBC says.
Maybe it's just me not concentrating as it's the end of a short week. But did anyone else have to read this bit twice?
"The team is completed by adventure junkie Max, who is 13-year-old Julian's son; Dylan, the 11-year-old son of Dick, and dog Timmy."
Perhaps I should just go to the pub and forget about it....
Is it just me, or do I detect a scent of Scooby Doo in the characterisations? Appropriate now that Scooby is rather long in the canine tooth methinks. Ann's daughter=Daphne, Max=Fred (though less glamrock and obviously more intelligent), Dylan=Velma and...well there's never going to be a 'light relief' character in the FF so Jo must be the sincere, intense token PC character.
And since when was George the leader of the group? She was petulant and spoilt, hardly leadership qualities although courageous and loyal to her friends. I bet she never made the butties for them.
Disney is the reason that, one day, someone is going to nuke the entire USA out of existence, figuring the deaths of millions of wonderful, and mostly innocent, citizens to be "a small price to pay" to dispose of the evil that is Disney.
Every story Disney touches is turned to shit. When will people learn: "DO NOT sell the film rights to your stuff to Disney!"
As a kid, I used to love the Famous Five books but grew out of them pretty fast when I twigged how contrived and simplistic the plots were (never mind the racism, classism and sexism; they were just plain formulaic) - but not even predigested-pap-in-a-can crap like TFF deserves to be Disneyed!
For my money, Comic Book's "Five go Mad in Dorset" and "Five go Mad on Mescaline" were brilliant, having captured the repeated "plot" elements of the books brilliantly.
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