Cor blimey guvnor.
I can hear the bodies of Sid James, Peter Butterworth and Bernard Bresslaw thrumming at high r.p.m. even as we speak.
Fans of the splendidly silly Carry On franchise will be delighted to learn that the 32nd film in the series - tentatively dubbed Carry On London - "could be in cinemas by the end of the year", according to the Beeb. The film will centre on a limo company ferrying celebrities to the Herberts - the Brit equivalent of the Oscars …
dear god no. Vinnie Jones? Daniella Westbrook? well known comedy actors. (mind you westbrook would be funny if her nose kept falling off)
It had all gone quiet on this I hoped they had drowned the idea, but its back.
There is no way I'm going to watch this as Jones is in it. not because he won't be any good, but i refuse to watch anything with him in.
This one's easy. Alistair Darling plays Kenneth Williams (Oh come on! The name alone is worth it!), John Prescott as Bernie Bresslaw, Gordon Brown as Sid James, Jacqui Smith as Dora Bryan, David Milliband as Charles Hawtrey, Hilary Benn as Hattie Jacques (c'mon, with that name he's a shoo-in for Hattie's part) and Ruth Kelly as Barbara Windsor.
Actors? We don't need no stinkin' actors.
suggestions for participants, either for this one (prob too late) or any future ones:
mitchell & webb
lee francis (bo selecta)
john oliver (get him away from the daily and show and back 'ome!)
messers enfield and whitehouse
roni ancona (she's gorgeous!)
i'm sure others can think of a few more. :)
the carry on films are not high brow, they never were meant to be, they are just a bit of harmless cinematic fun. i don't know why they ever stopped.
long live carry on!
p.s. i didn't add line breaks to that list, the register does it automatically, pff!
I'm not convinced it's possible to make Carry On films anymore. The humour relies so much on cheeky silliness that just doesn't exist anymore. Columbus failed because they tried to make it contemporary, and I bet that's where this will end up (if the apparent poor casting doesn't do for it). Let's hope that the people making this have watched the previous films, and understand what made them funny and popular.
> i don't know why they ever stopped
The world moved on, and everyone died.
Well, once a week should be enough for any man!
And the following people should be kept away, using guns if required:
French & Saunders
Ant & Dec
Catherine Tate (talentless waste of DNA)
Oooh Noooo stop messing about...
What are these people thinking! Why don't they just try and rip us off by releasing a ridiculously overpriced boxed set, rather than give some undertalented actors* more opportunity to make complete arses of themselves.
*I use the word actors in the very losest sense of the word.
When this was first discussed they were going to have the <sarcasm> amazingly pant wettingly funny </sarcasm> Russell Brand and the <sarcasm> voice of an angel </sarcasm> Sarah Harding in it, I wonder what happened to them? I mean Sarah Harding would fit the "stand around looking gormless with your tits hanging out" category and the mental giant that is Brand could easily fill 2 hours of dick and fart jokes, I think they'd fit in perfectly, after all, the St Trinians remake broke all box office records didn't it?
In the new spirit of the British way of doing things (what with people advertising panto without innuendo and all), the new Carry On will not contain any innuendo, swearing, sexually suggestive scenes or any of that other claptrap that made Carry On what it was.
Director: John Woo
You're sick of Paris? Yeah but you're a girl...
As to resuscitating the Carry On corpse, I can think of no finer metaphor for the UK idea of cinematic excellence. Why not shoot it in black and white to emphasise how culturally sophisticated we are as a nation? That and add extra fart gags. And some scousers.
Liverpool? City of Culture? Like Baghdad, City of Peace? Like Tehran, City of Homosexual Tolerance?
I do hope they have several of those well built girls , with rather snug fitting, low cut blouses, It will remind me of how I enjoyed those films in my youth . Many a long year ago , cough , wheeze .
Paris because she does sometimes wear such things , so I am told.
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