back to article Swedes demand return of heraldic lion's todger

Disgruntled Swedish heraldists are demanding the Nordic Battlegroup reconsider a decision to emasculate their crest's lion which has seen the rampant beast relieved of his todger. For those of you not up to speed on the shock case of the leonine penis outrage, the unit's commander - Karl Engelbrektsson - last December ordered …

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  1. dervheid
    Joke

    A Cock Up...

    perpetrated by, it would seem, a bit of a dick-head.

    Puns over.

    Back to work.

    PS. Another month 'till April fools yet!

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  5. Alan

    Why make...

    ...so much fuss about such a little thing...

  6. Richard

    Version 2.0

    Nice to see Vulture Central has changed the image to a before and after solving the confusion of us 'its friday cant be bothered to think' people

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Warwickshire

    Don't know if this is better or worse than the changes made to the county arms of Warwickshire: historically it has been a bear chained to a rugged staff. But this seems to have offended some animal huggers, so it has been changed and is now a bear "with" a rugged staff. And then all the beautiful sculpted or cast examples have had to be altered, with the chain being chipped away. Madness.

  8. Mark

    Females in war being harassed?

    Well I would have thought that if they are working on the front line, they'd be getting shot at. Seems a lot more damaging to me than "suck my glock!" and a lot safer for the abusive oppo: she's armed, you've just made her mad, there's no way of telling WHAT she'll shoot.

    PS: Richard, I thought this may be something like a preserved lion prodder taken from a military museum display. Mostly because I wouldn't think anyone would note a tapestry todger... Silly me, eh.

  9. Sam Wallace

    Compensation

    You may notice, too, that the branch the lion is holding got a little bigger to ball-ance things out...

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    This is what the world is coming to

    We all need to be the same colour, same height, same weight, sexless, anonymous people not to offend anyone...

    ... But on the other hand, does the lack of a Petter Niklas (Swedish cousin of "John Thomas") indicate a vagina... now that would be sexist too...?!?!

    Paris because she's definitely not sexless.

  11. Spleen
    Unhappy

    Engelbrektsson is completely in the right

    A man tries to do something right and as usual all El Reg readers can do is make sarky comments and cry political correctness. I'll have you know that zero, yes zero women have been raped by Swedish lions since the change was made.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    _Nordic_ Battlegroup

    "The Nordic Battlegroup is around 2,400 strong, with roughly 2,000 of its members coming from Sweden. The rest are a mixed bag of Estonians, Finns, Irish and Norwegians"

    Swedes, Estonians, Finns and Norwegians I can understand but Ireland is not exactly Nordic, unless you count the fact that they were ravaged by the Vikings 1000 years ago.

  13. Mark
    Paris Hilton

    @Spleen

    "I'll have you know that zero, yes zero women have been raped by Swedish lions since the change was made."

    YET.

    PH because she could probably tire the lion out...

  14. Salsero
    Joke

    Further changes (proposal).

    Next changes:

    No sword- it's definitely

    1.just a Symbol of Male Member

    2. is an Aggressive Weapon.

    So change if for shield.

    No mane, since its' definitely masculne sign, that beast is just hiding his ... treasure... somewhere between his hind legs!

    Mane should be thrice shorter and look in unisex fashion!

    I suggest introducing a more developed... something... in the top part of the chest of a beast. It should look like overdeveloped muscle or underdeveloped breasts.

    Since that regiment is definitely defensive and not aggressive, and now has such vague and ambigious leonine figure with painted nails, breasts, and just a long hair.... I suggest introducing the symbol of what they protect... small lion-child, maybe? or three, to represent.... err, i am shutting up.

    TO BE SERIOUS.

    I have read somewhere that heraldic beasts were officially emasculated when owner of that heraldic sign committed a treason.

    Good luck for you, self- proclaimed traitors...

  15. Andrew Carpenter
    Heart

    Don't remove the penis..

    ..just add breasts. Phwoar.

  16. Sweep

    @ Mark

    Presumably he is talking about female non-combatants in war zones, not the members of the armed forces themselves.

    When was the last time the Swedes went to war though? Bunch of limp dicks if you ask me.

  17. Mark

    Re: Compensation

    However, notice that the frond is drooping now.

    Not only "Dun a Bobbett" but also missing out on "Herbal V1agra!".

  18. Mike Richards

    It *IS* Ireland

    Iceland doesn't have a military. Ireland contributes 80 or so people to the Nordic Battlegroup, the UK is also involved in various C&C roles.

  19. Keith Martin

    It's Definitely Ireland

    Ireland is part of the Nordic Battle Group. That's because the military non-alignment of Ireland is most closely matched by the stance normally taken by the Nordics.

  20. Mark

    @Sweep

    I would still say that it is nicer to hurl insults than bullets.

    I mean, these people (even if civilian) are joining an employer that kills people for a living.

    Being thin-skinned is neither wanted nor expected, really.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    leave the JT and ...

    Just change which leg is forward.. if the left rear leg is forward you would not see as much.... given the cold of the North Atlantic... perhaps none at all....

  22. StopthePropaganda

    political correctness w@nkers

    the only real response-make it bigger. The lion could be extending an upraised middle finger/paw and telling 'em where to stuff it.

  23. John Dougherty
    Thumb Down

    @Warwickshire

    Sounds like the "animal huggers" that want the chain removed - even "chipped away" - are the spiritual cousins of the Taleban, who cheerfully blew up Buddhas because the statues did not suit their ideas of political correctness.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Heraldic Info Sought

    I'd love to know what the heraldic description of the coat of arms (with the, er, affected part) would be :-)

  25. Jason Nimz
    IT Angle

    Heraldic Todgers

    "I'd love to know what the heraldic description of the coat of arms (with the, er, affected part) would be :-)"

    JT's aren't emblazoned in heraldry...

  26. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    re: Bootnote 2

    I doubt "Ireland" is a misprint for "Iceland" since Iceland doesn't have an army. Ireland, while not exactly nordic, at least has a military that could contribute troops to the Nordic Brigade.

    Sorry but I don't have any pithy comments about the unit's symbolic emasculation, but I hope the artist was working for something other than tips...

  27. Seán

    @AC

    Spot on, have the other leg forward. Noone asked the lion's opinion that's for sure.

  28. BitTwister

    @This is what the world is coming to

    > But on the other hand, does the lack of a Petter Niklas (Swedish cousin of "John Thomas") indicate a vagina... now that would be sexist too...?!?!

    Oh it's much worse than that, because the poor beast still has a mane so is definitely male. Apparently now singing soprano.

  29. BitTwister

    @Heraldic Info Sought

    > I'd love to know what the heraldic description of the coat of arms (with the, er, affected part) would be :-)

    Probably something like "with Lion rampant" - he's just not quite so happy about it now. Well who would be, after the unkindest cut of all...

  30. JimC

    > Heraldic description

    I do believe that, as one might expect,the original is a lion rampant... The new version, with both feet on the floor may not be... A liitle googling suggests that a rabbit rampant is not an impossible heraldic animal!

  31. Jón Frímann Jónsson
    Boffin

    It's Ireland

    Iceland doesn't have an army. Few wannabes, but nothing more then that. Ireland however appears to be in the Nordic battle group according to this web pages.

    http://www.mil.se/index.php?c=news&id=32771

    http://www.sweden.gov.se/sb/d/9133/a/82276

    "On Januari 1, 2008, Sweden, together with Norway, Finland and Estonia and possibly Ireland will constitute the fifth European battle group out of eleven planned. The preparations have been going on for some time. Among others the NBG-headquarters in Enköping have been assigned with personnel. The ceremony on last Monday constituted the inauguration of the unit's headquarters and the subordinated units in Sweden, Norway, Finland and Estonia, who will be training the incorporated units in the Nordic Battle Group."

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Heart

    rampant insanity

    "...leonine penis outrage..."

    This is why I read the register.

    In other news, who says they cut it off? Maybe the lion just thought about baseball for a while.

  33. vits3k

    He said "member"

    > with roughly 2,000 of its members coming from Sweden

    He said "member". Eh heh!

  34. Jon Tocker

    @ Sam Wallace re "Compensation."

    Yes, and I notice the sword is noticeably thicker and heavier - definitely compensating; we all know what the sword symbolises. Nudge nudge, wink wink...

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo

    Political correctness

    Now come on they only did half a job here!

    The lion is still overtly male: it has a mane.

    The tongue is sticking out (with sexual overtones there)

    It is carrying an offensive weapon.

    It is showing its claws (ooh catty!)

    So what have we got left: an old moggie carying an olive branch. Not much symbolism there.

    The Swedes were never known for being prudes. Better stick with the original.

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