back to article Map paints gloomy picture of world's oceans

A new global map compiled by analysing 17 different factors including fishing, global warming and pollution has revealed that 40 per cent of the world's oceans are heavily affected by human activities, while just a small percentage of seawater has completely escaped the effects of man's heavy hand. Global map showing human …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    High Impact?

    What does "High Impact" actually mean in this case? That human activities have prevented all forms of marine life? That the water isn't pristine drinkable quality? That some creatures might find it a little harder to survive? Without actually quantifying what the damage is they are warning on some sort of relative scale it's not easy to react to this.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Insanity (& more on that elephant)

    This is not new; most of the scientific community has known about this for years.

    It's a disgrace how little our Government agencies, Fishing bodies etc have done about it - it's all about money, money, money, and the hell with whether the stocks will recover or not.

    A token cut in takes here and there, when it's *massive* or full *no go* cuts that are needed, and have been needed for YEARS. A reason I don't eat anything but sustainably farmed fish...needless to say I don't get to eat a lot of it.

    And don't get me started on the illicit mid-ocean tank cleaning, dumping, bottom scraping etc

    Frankly, when I become ruler of the world, my first act will be to appoint a population control police, and the first for the lethal injection will be the organisations that have know about this and done NOTHING.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I knew it...

    ...Soylent Green IS people!

  4. cor
    Unhappy

    I'm sorry.

    I once caught 4 big cods using a fishing line whilst bored during a North Sea geosurvey.

    They were very tasty, and I shared them with my workmates that evening.

    I can't bring them back, but I won't do it again.

  5. Angus Cooke
    Alien

    Re: Insanity (& more on that elephant)

    When you become ruler of the world my mothership will have collected me long ago - I sincerely hope! (one by one the penguins steal my sanity).

  6. Shakje

    Re: High Impact?

    To quantify it partially, in the Metro this morning one of the scientists was quoted (whoever it was escapes me) saying that marine life around the North of Scotland would be wiped out with one more major oil spill.

  7. Geoff Mackenzie

    D'oh

    I just spent a full minute squinting at the key and pondering "...and what are the white bits?" Then I felt an irresistable urge to share my stupidity with the world.

  8. Wade Burchette Silver badge
    IT Angle

    (I can't think of a good title)

    We have an eco-nazi! He states "when I become ruler of the world, my first act will be to appoint a population control police, and the first for the lethal injection will be the organisations that have know about this and done NOTHING." That is an eco-nazi, someone who wants to kill humans to save a few fish or a few trees. Under no circumstances is killing humans acceptable, Greenpeace tree-hugger.

    And also, since this study has an assumption: global warming is caused by humans. Anybody who doesn't have an agenda and who spends just 5 minutes looking up weather history knows that assumption is shaky, at best. So, how seriously can we take a study which is relying on unprovable claims? Of course, some eco-nazis, like the earlier "anonymous coward", will be caught just like a fish on a hook. Studies that say humans are destroying the earth are profitable. Which is why this study came out. Besides, as had already been pointed, this is a scientific study, so it should have quantifiable definitions. In any other field, if you start a study with something that cannot be proven, you would have your funding removed. But not so when you blame humans for destroying our earth.

    Having said all that, I know the oceans are over fished. I know the oceans are too polluted in many places. But I also know it is not as bad as the money-loving scientist want you to believe.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    The Icelandics...

    ...at least have the right idea when it comes to fishing quotas. You see, with the EU fishing quotas, if you accidentally catch fish you don't have a quota for, you chuck it away, dead. Huge, enormous wasteage. The Iceland fishing fleets can trade their quota with each other so almost nothing goes to waste, and their fish stocks are in a much healthier state as a result. But no-one seems to want to do anything to properly protect the oceans. Personally I'd count oceanic pollution and the destruction of marine environments as higher priority than global warming. We're all doomed, I tells yer.

    "pristine drinkable quality"

    Er, I don't think seawater is drinkable anywhere, not even the Baltic (which is the least saline of all seas).

  10. oxo
    Paris Hilton

    Hmmm

    "...synthesized global data on human impacts ..."

    Do they mean they made it all up, or is there some other definition of synthesis I don't know about?

    Nothing synthetic about Paris.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    AHA!

    "To quantify it partially, in the Metro this morning one of the scientists was quoted (whoever it was escapes me) saying that marine life around the North of Scotland would be wiped out with one more major oil spill."

    Now that the global warming frenzy is coming under serious (public) criticism the human-hating eco-freaks have to find another target quickly. Not saying that 'Shakje' is one of these but the article Shakje quotes sounds like a harbinger of things to come.

  12. Andrew

    Where's the science bit?

    Apparently only about 4% of our oceans are undamaged by human activity, and it's all down to climate change, fishing and human activity. How does one 'damage' an ocean exactly?

    On the BBC web site a 'fly-over' video of the world oceans is provided, using colours to represent varying degrees of impact, but no explanation of exactly what this 'impact' is. Some kind of utilization metric? It's all so very vague, so who knows...

    "The map is an impetus for action, ... a real signal to roll up our sleeves and start managing our coast and oceans."

    they say on the BBC web site, but don't say what this action should be. If it is down to human activity then the impetus should be for more INACTION surely?

    There has to time at which funding for this chicanery is withheld until these charlatans are made to prove these conjectures and what-ifs, using reproducible results, not pretty pictures.

  13. cor
    Dead Vulture

    @Ac .. Icelandics..

    "Er, I don't think seawater is drinkable anywhere, not even the Baltic (which is the least saline of all seas)."

    Well, I was on the Caspian Sea off the coast of Turkmanistan in 1994 and that was clear and sweet to drink.

    Unfortunately I later heard from a marine biologist that a crystalline lake/sea would usually indicate that it is totally devoid of life, being so poisonous. Bleeeeaah.!

  14. Tawakalna
    Joke

    I don't care..

    ..so I'm off to Blackpool for a dip, the water's lovely there :)

  15. Clare Ross
    Linux

    I dont like fish anyway

    I choked on a bone once, I nearly died, this must be their karma for nearly killing me.

  16. JesusJason
    Stop

    So easy to fix...

    People, people, do you remember some 'blah blah' about how we would need the resources of other planets to feed the world and bring all nations up to the same living standards that we enjoy?

    It's so easy to fix this with CONTRACEPTION, "Oh I can't find food to feed my family" stop bl00dy breeding them then.

    Or...we could always switch to killing and eating each other...I bet 'Longpig' tastes better than fish anyway ;-)

  17. steven kraft Silver badge
    Coat

    To hedge your bets...

    SoilentGreen Corp was trading at $22.52 per share in New York this morning.

    My coat is the spacesuit hanging by the door. No, you can't borrow it--I will need it to get off this rock by the time we kill off the oceans.

  18. Robinson

    Fishing quotas

    At last, an environmental story that is real and doesn't involve Global Warming (they would like to think that it does, but that is just added in to sell it to the media). We are massively over-fishing and some fishing methods are appallingly destructive to marine environments. Does any government give a flying.... ? Not really, no.

  19. Mark
    Paris Hilton

    @Wade Burchette

    Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

    Fe fecks sake, he was probably being ironic.

  20. Jason Togneri
    Alert

    @ The Icelandics...

    "Er, I don't think seawater is drinkable anywhere, not even the Baltic (which is the least saline of all seas)."

    Having kayaked in that very sea, I can tell you from first-hand experience that the seawater there is eminently undrinkable. And not just because of Tallinn-bound helicopters falling into it and passenger ferries going belly-up, but because it's the least saline, as opposed to non-saline. No seawater, anywhere, is of "pristine drinkable quality". But yes, it would be good to qualify these results somehow...

  21. Wyrmhole
    Coat

    Re: D'oh

    But what ARE the white bits? Also, what happened to the brown continents?

    OOOOH I know! The continents are white because they're covered with snow from the ice age that global warming brought about.

  22. Ishkandar
    Black Helicopters

    Over-fishing ??

    Easily solved !!

    1) Ban fish and chips

    2) Ban Rick Stein

    3) Cover all British controlled waters with offshore windmills

    4) Hang everyone who buys salmon

  23. combatwombat
    Go

    Clean and Green Nz

    Where I come from, the clean and green Godzone, we don't have any of your problems, and don't want'em either, thanks. That's why we ship all of our waste back to China (where it was first manufactured anyhow), so we can keep on sucking you yanks and poms into coming to "the most beautiful country on Earth", and spending your almighty tourist dollar. At least, you tend to use airplanes to get here, and not many of them end up in the sea.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    @ Wade Burchette

    He most certainly was being ironic...but if you represent the "sensible majority", we're all f*ing doomed.

    I know you won't be able to hear me down there with your head 6 inches in the sand, but the majority of the evidence shows that it *is* as bad as they make out. We *are* depleting Earth's resources in an unsustainable way. We *are* churning out more CO2 than can be "sunk". Just because it sounds implausibly bad, doesn't make it a lie - did you ever consider that we could geniunely be up sh*t creek? It doesn't make me a "eco-nazi" (I like my car and cheap flights as much as the next guy), but it sure as hell makes you look ignorant.

    Yes, I jest about the population control police, but seriously - we need to do something about our numbers in a sensible, 'non-Soylent' fashion until we reach "a sustainable lifestyle" without resorting to living in caves again. And do it quickly. Our inteligence has removed all the normal checks and balances other species encounter when they become over populated - we need to apply that same inteligence to getting our numbers back under control until we can live sustainably.

    Enjoy your Cod before it becomes extinct, "eco-emu".

  25. Albert Stienstra
    Thumb Down

    Another backroom desk study

    Another fear mongering desk study ex cathedra from the green high priests. Not checked by any measurements, effects of selfcleaning by the ocean ecosystem are not taken into account etc. etc. And most people buy it instantly. Sigh.

  26. Marko Alat
    Dead Vulture

    The Fucktardery in this place is off the limiter...

    Wade Burchette:

    "I know the oceans are over fished. I know the oceans are too polluted in many places. But I also know it is not as bad as the money-loving scientist want you to believe."

    You *know*, eh? Pray tell, where does that certainty come from?

    AC #437:

    "Now that the global warming frenzy is coming under serious (public) criticism the human-hating eco-freaks have to find another target quickly. Not saying that 'Shakje' is one of these but the article Shakje quotes sounds like a harbinger of things to come."

    You're picking a bone (hey, the original article does have something to do with fish) with someone quoting a tube-rag newspaper article which, in turn, quoted a researcher commenting on their work... no doubt the gist of what the researcher reported in their publication made it through *completely* unaltered.

    Folks, how irritating is it to sit in a meeting or around a lunch room table and have non-tech coworkers slag off IT or otherwise show off how pigshit-ignorant they are of anything to with computers? Unless your knowledge of environmental science comes from first-hand study or at least some in-depth knowledge of physical sciences and marine biology, could you please consider the notion that finding something personally threatening *does*not* qualify you to offer a definitive opinion on the matter, and when you say something like "the hippies want us all wearing sandals and eating tofu" or "the scientists are just in it for the money", you might just be coming across as an ignorant fucktard. In other words, unless you know *exactly* what you're talking about, STFU, seriously.

  27. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    re Over-fishing ??

    Why do the salmon buyers get hanged while Rick Stein merely gets banned. Come down hard on the pushers I say!

  28. Sentient

    eco-backlash

    Just walk on the beach and look at all the plastic that washes ashore.

    Just check how many times air pollution levels are exceeded.

    So whether this study is scientific or not the message is the same: let us stop polluting please. It won't hurt.

  29. hapticz

    top feeders/top breeders/bottom thinkers

    when the fishes provided free sustenance for the crowd of geeks who ruled the planet say 2000 plus years ago, they numbered far fewer in population. just as any overpopulation wreaks havoc on any food source, humanity will do the same. we is jest plain ol animals baby, nothing more. & as bright as the educated surmise they are, they too are just a statistical piece of that animal lot. simplicity RULES the planet, not concatenated theorems of regurgitated data! enjoy it while you can, we are only part of another species soon to become gobbled up by the simplest of life. H20 will survive intact, WE will not!

  30. Schultz
    Alert

    High impact

    For all those guys asking about the meaning of / high impact /:

    The authors "grounded" their model by comparing their mathematically derived / meaningless numbers to real-world observations using 16 regions from around the world containing coral reefs (guess that's where they could get good data)

    It's a big extrapolation but unfortunately more science than fiction: things like missing/dead fish and corals are real even if they are somewhat abstract to a mountain-dweller like me.

    no cod? then I'll take that tilapia thing!

  31. Slaine
    Boffin

    reply to Geoff Mackenzie

    Fret not dear chap, you are, without a doubt, more intelligent and better informed that the fuckwits who reported this data. The first rule of marine biologists is to recognise that the oceans are an interconnected, freeflowing continuously intermixing ecology... and so by definition, CANNOT contain an "unaffected" part... (4% hey wait a [F]ing minute - THAT's a bloody statistic and we all know how reliable they are).

    Still like the idea of a "flaming boffin" icon.

  32. Slaine
    Happy

    afterthought

    the white bits are where all the oceanic pollution originates from

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