back to article Singapore Airlines bans A380 rumpy-pumpy

Singapore Airlines has asked cash-flush customers to refrain from making the beast with two backs while enjoying its A380 private suites between Singapore and Sydney, Reuters reports. The airline's shiny new aircraft boasts 12 such suites with double beds, but the company has slapped a ban on couples joining the mile-high club …

COMMENTS

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  1. Risky
    Joke

    Who's the first

    ....to suggest they call it Virgin Airlines?

  2. Alan Parsons
    Heart

    Right....

    So I pay close to eight grand for a plane ticket. I get a private room with a double bed. My wife and I settle in, drink some champagne, watch a film yada yada yada. Sorry but we're going to have sex. What in the blue hell does the airline think it's going to do about this? Heck if we keep it down how are they going to know? Bounce measurement of some sort? I can hear it now:

    "Sex in the private suites is strictly forbidden on all our flights. It is a federal offence to tamper with the sex detector under the bed."

    Perhaps it's a necessary measure. You never know, terrorists might invent a new way of dangerously mixing two fluids if this is left uncheked, after all.

    Utter nonsense.

  3. Paul Crawford Silver badge

    New travel kit items

    The statement: "All we ask of customers, wherever they are on our aircraft, is to observe standards that don’t cause offence to other customers and crew" is not saying no sex, just it should not offend.

    Can we assume that the 1st class traveller's kit will now have a gag (as well as the traditional blindfold) to keep the noises down during turbulant activity?

  4. Robin Traylor
    Paris Hilton

    What they don't know....

    If it's all private, who's to know what goes on in those private suites.

    Apart from the hostess who has to change the sheets and finds them either a) sticky, or b) crispy.

  5. Simon Ball

    Hmmm

    If I were them, I’d be less worried about public decency and more worried about the cabin crew wiring the suites for sound/video and then wasting time perving - not to mention exposing the airline to considerable liability for invasion of privacy.

  6. David Roberts
    Paris Hilton

    Baggage Allowance?

    They seem to be missing a 'trick' here.

    First class travellers will get an extra baggage allowance anyway; could this not include an extra bagage for the single traveller?

    Perhaps even a well known celebrity for the more discerning passenger?

  7. Ian Hunter

    Hmm

    Would a wank be classed as sex? If so, I'd better watch myself next time.

    But man, those female cabin crew are sweet.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Can we assume?

    Based upon a story about a Scottish connection last week, can we assume that the airline doesn't allow you to take your bicycle on board either?

    A

  9. Andy G
    Coat

    @ Robin Traylor

    ROFL - CCTV perhaps ?? I can see a whole new genre of youtube videos spewing forth.

    lol Watch out for ALl In One Night In Paris/Berlin/Hong Kong coming soon.

    hee hee

    /taxiiiiiiiiii

  10. William Allan

    Just wait until...

    ...the plane hits a little turbulence and then enjoy the 'ride'. Might be a bit inconvenient if the 'fasten seatbelt' sign comes on mid way through though.

  11. Anton Ivanov
    Paris Hilton

    French design at its best

    Double bed, personal cabin and no noise proofing...

    Somehow I do not think we would ever see that being shipped by Boeing...

    The "outrage" also says something about how different countries have very different attitudes to certain... err... activities...

  12. Mike Richards

    Turbulence

    @William Allan

    Hold on - that's a really good point. What are people meant to do if they're enjoying their double bed and the plane hits turbulence.

    Are Singapore Airlines really fitting their beds with restraints?

    Is there a growth market for transonic airborne dungeons?

  13. Tony
    Paris Hilton

    No What?

    For $2,000 an hour they should have a bevy of beauties to choose from to accompany you on that flight.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Harmonics

    If everybody's at it they're probably just worried about setting up a (an?) harmonic that would pop the plane's rivets while you, er, pop your rivet.

    <ding dong> Captain speaking, please would cabin three break rhythm?

    Coat and parachute, please

  15. Ross Fleming

    RE: Who's the first

    > ....to suggest they call it Virgin Airlines

    You? :o)

  16. Greg

    Stupid prejudice from Anton

    "French design at its best

    By Anton Ivanov

    Posted Thursday 1st November 2007 11:52 GMT

    Double bed, personal cabin and no noise proofing...

    Somehow I do not think we would ever see that being shipped by Boeing..."

    One must be pretty stupid, like in "watching-fox-propaganda-on-surrendering-monkeys-stupid", to utter such crap.

    First point is, obviously Boeing was actually not able to deliver a plane that could support suites, so they would in any case be unable to do the mistake.

    Second, A380 is not french but franco-germano-something, just like Airbus is far from being simply a french company (and I might even add thanks for that fact as it would not be so successful if french only). I guess it makes it easier for you to live with your prejudice though, so go ahead (until the time you realize Airbus is actually a great company, that day it will at the very least become suddenly at the very least german in your mind, or even american somehow).

    Third is, Airbus has actually not much to do with noise-proofing the A380, for the very simple reason that each airline asks of outside companies the equipment to fill the plane (for instance Zodiac is contracted by the airlines themselves to do the seats for the vast majority of planes).

    As a consequence, whether perfect or completely crappy, the actual way the suites are handled has nothing to do with Airbus, much less with the french.

    Please turn Fox News on again instead of posting, it will people a service.

  17. Ben Gibson
    Thumb Up

    Double beds on aircraft

    When's the dinning room coming?

  18. Dave
    Paris Hilton

    At last

    a story with a Paris angle

  19. Nile Heffernan
    Go

    Health & Safety strikes again

    Actually, the cabin crew have a legal duty to look in on their passengers at intervals throughout the flight. So the cabins have an observation window.

  20. Will
    Stop

    Thing is

    the 'private' cabin is nothing of the sort. The walls only come up to shoulder height so anyone walking past can see what you're up to.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Turbulence

    Maybe the airline are trying to be kind to other passengers. I mean, the way some people carry on in the bedroom (allegedly...) it is quite possible that the aircraft could suffer turbulence whilst they are earning their blue peter badge....

    A

  22. John A Blackley

    Did I miss it?

    Okay, I was speed-reading so somebody tell me where - in this story - at says that Singapore Airlines asked people to not have sex.

    I saw where it said that they'd like people to refrain from indulging in behavior likely to embarass.

    Were I to read that, I'd take it as an okay to have sex but to not involve the dog, not scream (repeatedly), "Yes! Yes! Take me now you horned god!" and not enjoy my pre-sex warm up of doing naked press-ups in the corridor outside my cabin.

    Not that I would ever do any of those anyway.

  23. mark

    @soundproofing

    Quite a gaping hole in the specification, I can't imagine the designers of the SAL cabin thought that one through too well. If I were them I'd try and get the spec changed for the aircraft that are currently being built. It's not something they're going to stop now, is it?

  24. Dom

    Only 2 doubles, actually.

    As a plane nerd, I can tell you that there are 12 *single* suites on the SA A380s, four on each side and four in the middle. The pairs in the middle can have the dividing partition removed to form a double. So there's only two double "cabins" on board.

  25. Bytus

    Getting membership...

    ...in the mile high club is quite hard unfortunately...but do private jets count? No longer so expensive to hire one ;-)

  26. Bob
    Gates Halo

    @Greg

    "One must be pretty stupid..."

    "Second, A380 is not french but franco-germano-something..."

    WOW, you really know how to make your point about stupid people...do some RESEARCH before you post!!

    But then again your probably French

  27. Paul M

    @Bob

    "But then again your probably French"

    His probably French ... what?

  28. Stephen Leak

    No sex please ...

    ... Its British.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Vive La France!

    Whats with the yankee hatred of the french!?

    if it wasnt for the french backing those colonial terrrorist in the 1770's for thier own imperialistic aim of undermining the British Empire Mad King Georges Hanovarian (thatsGerman to you americans) troops and the Britisih Red Coats would have whipped you back into line, but no the French intervend and helped you out!

    it then gave you that oversized rusty green doll to put in new york harbour!

    and ironically, following independance and the break from the commonwealth you all nearly ended up speaking proper german (opposed to erstaz german spoken by the English) luckily for you you voted to keep the English

    i think you should read

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franco-American_relations

    and as for planes,

    you americans have been sulking ever since the brits and french developed concorde and now your sulking over the A380!

    and to think that both the cheese eating surrender monkees and the

    loud mouth all trousers no action yankees

    both signed the the Kellogg-Briand Pact outlawing war??????? who would have thought that

  30. Cameron Colley

    re: Stupid prejudice from Anton

    Strange -- I read Anton's comments as being rather flattering regarding French and their love of love-making. I thought it was the Septics and their prudish nature he was having a dig at.

    Perhaps you have a chip on your shoulder? Or should that be a pomme-fritte?

    For the record, I'm a stiff-upper-lipped, sexually-repressed Rosbif.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Title

    Your first screwing will be at the ticket office!

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Title

    How would they know ...Unless you appear in the morning with your face looking like a glazed doughnut!

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