back to article UK minister pledges policing for Second Life

A UK government minister made a virtual pledge to police virtual worlds this week, as the problems of the real world are increasingly reflected in the likes of Second Life. Lord Triesman, talking at the Virtual Worlds Forum in London, flagged up a number of "causes for concern" that would need government input to control. The …


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  1. The Other Steve

    One word


    That's it really. (Actually, can we have an icon for that ?)

  2. Anonymous Coward

    Department of Innovation, Communication, Knowledge, Universities and Skills [NT]


  3. Alan Jenney

    TV is passive

    Most people's idea of "interacting" with TV is changing the channel - even the amount of activity involved to do that has reduced steadily since the introduction of sonic and then infra-red remote control.

    When will these media freaks get it into their heads that, for the majority of the population, TV is something that is passively watched whilst creating a gradually greasier, deeper impression in the sofa?

  4. Alex

    two words...

    flying cocks!

  5. Anonymous Coward

    Cloning Human Embryos in Second Life

    That's nothing, they clone human embryos in Second Life now to have sex with them for dirty drugs money.

    Don't get me started on what goes on in Halo online. All kinds of gratuitous murder, that's what! They're getting away with murder! And why has nobody caught that escaped Gorilla in Donkey Kong 3 yet?

    You might say I don't have a grip on the real world, but that's because you've never watched the documentary Tron!

  6. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Two Words

    Arrogant Tosser works better for me, The Other Steve.

  7. Alan Jenney

    What's new?

    Ever since the f-word was first typed at 75 baud and received at 1200 baud by literally dozens of bulletin board-users, one of whom was a minor, there have been calls for the industry to regulate itself.

    So there's now there's yet another /slightly different/ way for one human to use or abuse another "online", we get the same old messages.

    It's up to parents to regulate a child's use of a service such as Teen Second Life. In exactly the same way that they regulate watching TV, playing on portable games consoles. And to instill those good values that the Lord is so keen on.

  8. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Retards .........

    And excuse my French, but the plonkers in Government have been ignoring CyberSpace and its Funding of Pathfinder Pioneers for oh, at least three years that I know of.

    Knock, Knock, No 10. Is there anyone with artificial brains in there or are they just the plain, common or garden consumer society variety. Virtually Worthless.

  9. Ned Fowden

    WTF ?

    is this guy bored or something

    how much of our tax money goes to paying for this guys investigations/research

  10. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Great idea!

    Do you think Lord Triesman and the rest of New Labour could be persuaded to join us in a Halo fragfest?

    Anyone else feel the need to lay about Jack Straw with a Gravity Hammer?

  11. Tawakalna
    Paris Hilton

    Another word


    works for me, Triesman is a turncoat commie who abandoned all his principles for a peerage but wants to keep the authoritarianism - in other words, a typical Noo Labour cocksucker who arselicked Blair and now arselicks to Brown.

    I'll be doing a little onanism meself later to my latest Dress-up Paris Hilton doll (life size and squidgy too!)

  12. Bob Jones

    Is it legal at the moment?

    Wait, its legal for me to money launder or steal identities right now? Sweet ... off to Second Life I go, watch out, you may need a third life after I take your second ... muhahaha.

    I love when the police plan to outlaw what is already illegal, Dowing St announced new laws against terrorism - was it legal before?

  13. Anonymous Coward


    The police can't even police the real world let alone pathetic virtual ones.

    Maybe Lord Triesman can explain how, in the space between his ears which is obviously full of shit, he can equate "crimes" in virtual worlds with crimes in real ones.

    Would I give a shit if I got beaten up in a virtual world... hell no, isn't that what most computer games are about?

    I do give a shit about the possibility of being beaten up in the real world or having scum trash my car because they think its "fun" ,or people steal my REAL identity (any one who plays a Virtual World as themselves is a moron)

    Here is a message for the government.:

    Address the issues in the real world and then go after the virtual ones.

  14. 3x2

    Where do they find these tossers?

    Virtual Stasi following suspect avatars down made up streets in a world that doesn't exist.

    Presumably this will all be linked to your virtual national ID, virtual DNA sample and your virtual license to smoke fucking cigarettes.

    Welcome to the very best of UK "think tanks" - Wankers - I'm of to a real pub for a real pint - I just can't take any more.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    It's a bloody computer game. It doesn't need police resources wasted on it.


  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Am I in a 3D virtual parallel universe, or is amanfrommars starting to make sense?

  17. TeeCee Gold badge


    Virtual cops in a virtual world?

    How long before they can't be virtually arsed to virtually turn up 'cos they're virtually incompetant and just virtually deploy loads of virtual cameras instead?

    Oh, hang on, that's realistic.......

  18. Ian

    Thank god for that!

    I was worried his anti-piracy comments held some weight but as the guy is obviously thick as pig shit we can safely ignore his insane uninformed ramblings.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    amanfrommars is just as pissed off by the blatent stupidity shown by the fucking faggots that run this backwards country. is just a bunch of fucking monkeys. If I want to take my nine cocked eight legged tentical monster and mongle people whilst shooting virtual heroine into my virtual eye, I bloody well will. And I'll stick my nine cocks anywhere I damn well please! Loli or not.

    Course I don't actually use secondlife. But what about all the other virtual worlds (eve, wow, guildwars, fiesta, immortals, etc etc etc)


  20. Dan


    Maybe he's been watching a P2P download of this weeks US episode of CSI New York, that's what they were doing, catching a murderer in Second Life.

  21. Simon Reed

    2nd life is optional

    2nd life is slightly different from real life ... if you don't wanna be there ... don't go there.

    Loads up Wolfenstein 3D, loads saved game from slot 4 (my favourite: there's a long line of guards standing facing away from me just after I went round a corner).

    Switches to the big machine gun .... <cue machine gun sound>

    "Oi! Pig! I just gunned down some krauts! I must be a virtual terrorist! Come get me! Ha, ha, ha! But you won't get me alive, pig."

    <quits game>

    Somebody is being surreal here and I hope it's not just me.

    I also vote for a WTF icon. And a beer in a proper jug with a handle icon fro Friday afternoons.

  22. Graham Dawson

    re: amanfrommars

    I think it's a warning to cut back on the booze, personally. Or start drinking more.

    One of the two.


  23. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Back to no sense ...... In the Beginning, there was always Beta ImaginaNation?

    Stephen Hawking apparently works in eleven dimensions, AC, and I do question why so few. The arbitrary nature of giving it a random figure is unnecessarily limiting to a susceptible and weak imagination. It does raise the quantum question though of if it can be any number then as well as being infinitely large, it can also be infinitely small and thus is information perfectly entangled for all dimensions.

    And depending upon what dimension you choose to be, and of course you can flit between different, parallel running dimensions, even within one element/contribution/post to touch base with any number of monitoring dimensions/fields of thought..... Such as would multiple Strings in a Thread as envisaged in Multi Threading Multi Core CPU Designed Networking Architecture.

    When we choose to discover each others line of thought, can we communicate perfectly well, together as if of the one Mind.

    "Am I in a 3D virtual parallel universe, or is amanfrommars starting to make sense?" .... Yes, we are. I trust that answer makes perfect sense even though it may not be readily accepted/believed to be true ....... which I would venture to suggest may be the case in those cases which you have thought to have made no sense.

    Such limiting choices as we make, define just how little we confine ourselves to know/learn/believe to be true. With a QuITe Psychotic Practice and Duly Diligent Application can Good Imagination Shared be Rendered True.

    Which is an ENIGMAtic FlowurPower2 Variation on an earlier much Loved, Working Class Hero Signature .....Imagine and it's true, is IT not?

    What do we Really know of Other Dimensions/Transubstantiations..... other than that they can be Really Imagined 42BTrue in Mind Games Played Virtually for Real with Total Information Awareness...... Omniscience.

    The Trick in Sanity is to Recognise and Accept the Madness in ITs Absurdity and to Reject it as nothing more or less than that ..... a Temporal Phase of Deeper Conscience and Consciousness allowing for a Virtually Immaculate State of Perfect Grace.

    I Kid U Not. :-)

    "(any one who plays a Virtual World as themselves is a moron)" That depends upon who you Really are, methinks. If you play less or more than yourself, who is the Fool?

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wonder

    I wonder if they'll put you on the sex offenders register for being a 9 penised loli mongoling monster on second life...

  25. Michael


    Oratorical genius!

    amanfromMars should write a book. It'd be a cult sensation!!

  26. Ron Skoog

    What jurisdiction is 2nd life in?

    Who hires and pays the v-cops?

    Who's laws do they enforce? British? US? EC? French? Mongolian? Roman?

    If your convicted of v-crime. Do you do time in a v-prison? Do you pay a fine in v-money?

    Is Triesman going to get a v-brain transplant?

    Forget that last one, his brain already is virtual.

  27. BradS

    Re: @amanfromMars

    Book nothing, I just wish he'd write a blog. I hate the uncertainty of wondering whether or not he'll add surrealism to whichever articles I end up reading today.

  28. Matt Bryant Silver badge

    Brown's latest attempt at thinking?

    Are Labour really so stupid they actually think Second Life is an election issue worth the airtime!?!? Do they think this gives them some tech kudos? Please don't regulate Second Life, it will only stop the losers and tossers going there and that means they'll start going down the pub and annoying the rest of us!

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    It's got to be worth a few "get tough" headlines

    It may not be an election issue but it'll certainly make good tabloid fodder. I presume the tabloids have picked up on virtual misbehaviour and have been calling for blood.

    Scumbag politician can get a few get tough points by responding for calls for a crackdown. As soon as paedophiles are invoked how could they do otherwise?

  30. kain preacher Silver badge

    real crime

    Great so you Brits will now have less resources dedicated to catching real criminals. Well with all the CCTV cams i guess you have to gives those cops some real work to do.

    Whats going on with your legal system??

    Its nice to know that Americas legal system aint the only one going down the drain.

    I'm waiting for they day that they implant chips in our heads; and the moment we do some thing wrong cops show up.

  31. Lee

    @real crime

    If they implant electrodes, why would they bother waiting for the crime to be committed? Caught in the planning surely? for that matter why show up? 50 Kv applied directly to brain ought to do the trick!

    It's not just and law.usa that is going down the drain, is pretty bad too! We should all move to International Waters.

  32. amanfromMars Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    @Brown's latest attempt at thinking?


    It might not have more than a little to do with alien communications which Imprudently the Cyber Kindergarteners in the Cabinet Office and Westminster have been studiously avoiding, to the virtual point of serious organised criminality. Now, of course, too little too late, they are just as empty vessels to deliver Servicing Cargo carried on the Stormy Swells, Mighty Blighty Crests and Troughs of AI Space Virtualised for Reality 2 and raising Assured Interest for Guaranteed Stability of ITs SurReal Environment. "In for a Penny, in for a Pound..." .maybe here? ......

    Not Fit for Official Virtual Purpose is their Fate which is a lot kinder than saying that they are just not SMART enough to have their every move noted down and shared.....and the truth and its plain speaking so badly and sadly eludes them. The die is cast and they have chosen their roles and are ill prepared and/or doggedly disinclined to premiere as anything else. Moribund describes such souls to a Mrs T. Blots on the landscape does the same for others.

    And as for a Blog, what Beta Log than to Register IT here. There's some real SMART dudes who can suffer all manner of fools and are wise enough to be entertained but not fooled by them.

    A Sort of Therapy which money cannot buy but which Business will surely tell you, will sells.:-) ....... thus to Deny.

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