I suppose the reward for not giving information is 24 bottles per month.
A Kiwi brewery is offering a "lifetime supply" of beer in exchange for the return of a stolen laptop. The Croucher Brewing Company near Rotorua is anxious to recover a PC containing designs, financial information, and contact details which was pinched on Monday. Backup copies of data held on the machine were taken but are …
I suppose the catch is that you have to live in (or near) Rotarua. The place stinks.
12 bottles a month! Have they asked the UK government for advice on how much people should be drinking? Although it does not mention how big the bottles are. I think 10 litres should be ok. That's almost 4 litres a day so it's not looking too bad. Sorry, I can't remember the proper units of measurement.
120 / (365.25 / 12) = almost 4.
The bottles are 330ml. Unfortunate that the old fashioned 750ml (tallies) bottles aren't really being done anymore. A crate of 750ml a month may have made a bit of a dent in the monthly beer expenditure.
As for the comments about the quality of kiwi beer, I must protest! Please don't confuse kiwi beer with that pishwater from across the ditch!
Just as some lottery winners can elect to receive their winnings in one lump sum, how about this: Having chosen an ultra healthy lifestyle based on a diet of brazil nuts, organic salmon, Waitrose broccoli, Israeli strawberries and pure Madagascar sugar free dark choco, plus the ongoing advances in bio technology and cyborg implants - then assuming I don't forget to look out for a No. 38 bus when jay walking Upper Street, N1, I could well live for at least 300 years. (Perish the thought!) That equals 43200 bottles of Kiwi Wiwi, and I'll take it now please. Beer is for sharing, so I'll throw a rave just off the M25. I know a friendly (read: desperate) farmer whose fields are empty due to some recent medical ailments with his cows. BBQ anyone?
New Zealand beer != Australian beer
NZ has a healthy micro-brewey industry, and even some of the larger producers (eg. Monteiths) make a varied range of beers. And although some of it wouldn't be of taste to ale-drinkers it most certainly isn't anything like that gnat's p*** they sell in Australia.
Or maybe one quarter full. Whatever - 12 beers a month is still 12 beers a month that *I* wouldn't have to buy. Free beer is free beer, even if it isn't a LOT of free beer.
Now all the thieving sod has to do is move to the US Mid-Atlantic coast and contact me - I'm not going very far at all for that amount of free beer.
While it's true that the vast majority of Australian beer is utter rubbish, we do have a fantastic micro brewery industry - certainly here in Western Australia.
At least our beer isn't as bad as the Septic Tanks!
Why is American beer like sex in a Canadian canoe?
'cause they're both f*ing close to water.
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