back to article Google sued for 'crimes against humanity'

A Pennsylvania crusader has slapped Google with a $5bn lawsuit, claiming that the world's largest search engine is endangering his personal safety. With a suit filed in federal court, Dylan Stephen Jayne insists that the company is guilty of "crimes against humanity" because its name turns up when his social security number is …

COMMENTS

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  1. Owen

    Hand written complaint?

    Who can Mr Jayne sue regarding the state of his awful "handwriting"?

    http://casedocs.justia.com/pennsylvania/pamdce/3:2007cv01677/69169/1/2.pdf

    And shouldn't he report the crime of his ruler having been stolen to the authorities?

  2. Jeremy

    Can I be the first to say...

    WTF?!

    This guy is gonna have an empty bank account and a thousand and one fraudulent credit applications by sunrise.

  3. Graham Marsden

    Calculate this...

    Of course if you enter 376006 into a calculator and turn it upside down...

  4. Eddy Ito Silver badge

    @Jeremy

    This guy would be better off with an empty bank account and fake credit accounts as his is currently overdrawn and he apparently isn't smart enough to flip burgers. I don't think he has anything to worry about since he must get his cash either working under the table, from his parents or both. That said, I'm guessing this all started with a couple pitchers of beer and a friendly wager with his mates down at the pub. A stupid wager but a friendly one nonetheless.

  5. Craig Foster

    I'll give him another 6 hours...

    I'll give him another 6 hours... before he suffers identity theft and is left penniless...

    Oh wait, that's not another code, that's how much he is overdrawn :S

  6. Richard Freeman

    I'm American and I'm Insane... (sung to the tune of "I'm a Lumberjack" by Monty python)

    I love the way his Social security number has been blacked out at the end of document:

    http://casedocs.justia.com/pennsylvania/pamdce/3:2007cv01677/69169/1/0.pdf

    however point 5 clearly gives his number as 166706077 - I think that makes either LLOGOLGGI or IGGLOGOLL - I cant see an E there so maybe his Maths are as poor as his spelling or handwriting (or my Punctuation;-)

  7. Robert Norton

    Index that PDF???

    Maybe he'll sue <insert organisation here> for putting that PDF online for google to index & make his details available!!! hahahah.

    it's so ironic.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wanker

    Google should counter-sue that when he turns his social security number upside-down and rearranges it to spell their name, he's violating their trademark...

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    All part of his master plan...

    insert evil laughter here. He can include CaseDocs, the PA and Fed Gov'ts and El Reg as well now??

  10. Tim Coughlin

    Lifelong PA resident

    Normally, I'm proud to be a resident of PA. I'm now thinking of moving to try and get away from the idiocy flowing from the northern part of the commonwealth.

  11. david

    *pimpslap*

    i feel i need to slap a fool.

    really now.

  12. Peter Norrey

    Empty Bank Account?

    There's nothing in it! Exhibit 'C' puts his balance at $153 overdrawn.

    When you think you've seen everything, you see someone enter their library card as evidence! Because this is the stuff $5 billion law suits are made of!

    Why does the reg describe this guy as 'a crusader'? I think he's a few cents short of five billion.

  13. kain preacher Silver badge

    still short

    he is missing 2 digits and thats not the order ,.remeber he said re arrange and turn upside down

  14. Nazlfrag

    Warning

    Just the other day I too was staring crosseyed at my upside down tax file number when Google caused me five billion dollars in damage. Never let your guard down my friends.

  15. Adam White

    I'm going to invoke the "I don't know" defence

    I don't know what the hell this guy is on about.

  16. Dave Fahey

    Hardened Criminal

    This all seems to have stemmed to some traumatic experiences he has suffered in jail.

    The last 2 requests to Arlen Spectors office reference various wardens and correctional facilities that he believes have wronged him.

  17. Joe

    Give it a read!

    Anyone thinking it's not worth looking at his submission to the court - think again!

    It's well worth a glimpse into the mind of a madman! Either that or he's got some other agenda that we don't know about. I want to see the video and hear the CD!

    This is the link you want for the good stuff:

    http://casedocs.justia.com/pennsylvania/pamdce/3:2007cv01677/69169/1/2.pdf

  18. Joe

    Read even more!

    I know I've already commented, but I just found this gem...

    "...the defendant(s) conspired to violate the plaintiff's Constitutional and Civil Rights."

    So the whole reason for Google's existence is to violate this guy? He must have really pissed Brin and Page off many years back!

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ahhh!!! America

    Sue who you like for whatever.

    Maybe I'll sue this guy for breathing and "stealing" my oxygen.

  20. Nick Leverton

    @Norrey

    >Why does the reg describe this guy as 'a crusader'? I think he's a few cents short of five billion.

    We have this concept called irony in the UK. If it helps you detect it when it occurs in El Reg, you might think of it as being like sarcasm, but more factually based ...

  21. Fluffykins Silver badge

    DIckhead

    That's it. Nothing else

  22. Paul Sims

    Letters from America

    Is there no end to the stupidity, paranoia & greed from the Land of the Free?

    Why not sue the makers of Scrabble - heck, I could make the words "BOMB THE WHITEHOUSE" from the tiles, which surely means that everyone's favourite word-making passtime is just a covert terrorist communication system?

    Still, now that he's posted all his personal details for all to see I expect he'll sue Google again for making them available by a simple search.

  23. Campbell

    Funny

    hahahaha! This has to be the funniest thing I have heard in a long time.

    Seriously though, who does he think he is kidding, take any long digit number, juggle the digits and turn upside down and you can make it read just about anything.

    I hope the American courts see some sense and dump this suit somewhere in the mid Pacific where it undoubtedly belongs.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why so much?

    I mean, if i think about this logically, there's no WAY this guy will make $5bn EVER .. IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE ... NO WAY!! Sorry for the caps. But he probably thought "Hey, it doesn't matter if *i* will never make this much money, because Google has it anyway!". It's really pathetic. Isn't there a law against this? Can you really just sue just about anyone for anything? Is this only in the US? If i tried to sue <random company> in my home country they will declare me insane and probably sue *me* for bothering them!

  25. MattW

    That has to be ....

    ....one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

    You can just imagine him shouting "THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT" as he wrote the capitals!

  26. Steven

    LOL

    55378008 Surely? :)

  27. Glyn

    Amazing Potential

    I'd like to place a bet that he qualifies for a Darwin Award within the next 5 years...

    Is it possible to have an injunction to prevent him breeding?As that indeed would be a crime against humanity...

    Would be illegal for me to sell his details on eBay?

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No newcomer to the courts of law...

    He has also sued Pike County Correctional Facility (and apparently a number of its employees) for violating his constitutional rights.

    http://dockets.justia.com/docket/court-pamdce/case_no-3:2007cv01113/case_id-68137/

    This is probably what happens when you put nutcases in jail instead of treating them.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can we say "Frivolous suit"?

    I think we can. He better get a protector for the ear he's about to get tossed out on.

  30. Simon Greenwood

    We should support this man

    and all club together to buy him a tinfoil hat.

  31. Luke Wells

    urgh

    Every day, someone somewhere manages to amaze me by demonstrating how stupid the human race is.

    I'm going to see if I can sue Microsoft because if I turn my name upside-down, replace some of the letters, jumble them up, eat a pizza, then stand on my head for 15 minutes, the bits of pepperoni that I inadvertently spew up all over the place form a letter "M" on the carpet! ....... M for Microsoft!

    That’s no coincidence is it?

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Terrorist

    This guy seems to confuse the word Criminal with Terrorist.

    Maybe he would be happy for a Criminal to track him down to enact his felonious little plans.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tax return

    Looking at his tax return, even with all that info no fraudster is going to go to the trouble of attempting to rip him off. "Small fry" isn't in it. Brine shrimp have greater earnings capacity FFS.

    He's a complete teapot and no doubt about it.

    TeeCee

  34. Ben Holmes

    I despair...

    ...of the human race, I really do. It's events like this that make me absolutely positive that, as a species, we're all going to die from over-exposure to chronic stupidity.

  35. Mark Rendle

    Not funny

    There's something wrong with a legal system that lets an obviously-sick person file lawsuits in the first place.

  36. Pete Burgess

    Great story!

    Please keep this one updated, I'd love to know how this idiot reacts when the judgment goes against him, indeed, I wouldn't be surprised if google sued him for frivolous litigation, now THAT would be funny!

  37. Dan

    My Clue is Pointing This Way

    I think this guy is onto something pretty big. Did you also notice that he was born on the 20th November? 20 - 11 = 9. Do you see it? 911. How much more evidence do you need? Obviously Google are involved in a lot more than search engines and tax codes....

  38. Dave Bennett

    Jumping on the wagon

    This guy is clearly crazy... I swear if he wins his case based on the Google / 76ers / SSN theory, I shall sue them also, my middle name happens to have the same number of letters and the loss of earnings it's causing me is incredible. I was all set to make £100m last year, but it all went wrong, cos of Google.

    As a side note, I'm loving his earnings for the last few years... basically nothing. What exactly is he supposed to have lost?

    x

  39. this

    We have a name for it

    and a lovely one too. Vexatious Litigation. There's a name and shame page buried somewhere in the UK .gov web swamp. I remember a Rev. someome-or-other being so named and shamed, which also seemed quite delightful, sort of Ealing Comedy. (I can't find the page now though. Work to do.)

  40. Daniel Hedley

    Actually, yes it is funny ...

    For a legal system to have any meaning, everyone must have access to it, including those Mr Rendle declares "obviously sick".

    This case will be thrown out at the earliest opportunity, and for a good legal reason.

    In the meantime, we can all laugh until tea comes out of our noses.

  41. P Saunders

    UK Citizens Are Unaware Of The Concept Of Freedom

    From the gist of the posts here I can surmise that citizens of the UK are ignorant of the concept of freedom in America. That's right, we have a constitution that provides us with freedoms that you could only dream about. By belittling Mr Jayne you belittle the freedoms upon which our great country was founded. To me he is a true American - ready to stand up for what he believes is right and to exercise his rights in order to right a wrong, right? that's right, he has a right to right his rights and by doing so, secures the rights of the Right to claim to be right while everyone else is wrong. If he were to leave his rights unrighted then the terrorists win, right? Just asa they win every time you steal music or movies from the hardwoking entertainment compnaies. Just as they win every time you make fun of Americans. Stop it or I will sue you until I make you see right, right?

  42. David S

    Um...

    Is there any chance at all that he's just... you know... having a bit of a laugh? I'm sure we've all said something we thought was hilarious, only to be met with cold stares and silence and the growing realisation that everyone else in the immediate vicinity thinks there's nothing funny about <insert edgy subject here>...

    Maybe this is like that, only bigger...

  43. Mark O

    Why are people taking this seriously at all

    I see comments about the stupidity of the human race and vexatious lawsuits. But looking at the handwritten complaint all I can picture is some drunk guy conjuring up a lawsuit using the contents of his wallet as exhibits. I bet he's laughing his ass off at all the fuss he's caused.

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Risk of death or serious undress

    Sounds like a good plan to me. Shall we have a vote on which one he gets?

  45. Rob

    You gotta love these sort of people...

    ... including P.Saunders as well, without them life would be incredibly dull and at least we all feel sane knowing people in the land of the free are just that, completely free of any responsibilty to anyone including themselves.

    Although on a darker note if it gets taken seriously it suddenly goes from being funny to v.scary, at that point I'd happily pay the US Gov. to install rader towers and walls across it's whole border for the good of the sane.

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Private Eye / Andrew Neil

    Does anyone else think that El Reg is trying to get its very own version of the Andrew Neil / Private Eye image with this photo of Sergey Brin?

    Sir, I was wondering if, in your records, you have any examples of a terrible haircut for a holiday? etc. etc.

  47. Matt Bryant Silver badge

    So funny, but there is a serious side!

    OK, I'm sorry if it offends Mr Saunders sense of rights, right, but my unprofessional opinion is that Mr Jayne is seriously in need of a bit of padded room therapy. Lots of therapy, actually!

    But on a more serious note, why hasn't any freedom-loving American sued Google yet over some of the terrorist propaganda videos that turn up on YouTube? What are legal angles on freedom of speech, are there limits like there are in the UK (you can't incite violence etc, so "death to the infidels" is OK but "kill the infidels" is a sure-fire way to get on Shami Chakrabarti's Christmas card list)? Apart from direct threats against the Prez's life, what are the limits under US law?

    Maybe Mr Jayne's legal team (or just the co-habitors of his padded cell) should drag this into court as an example of Google's pandering to terrorists, might make Google a bit less happy to go to court. It would make for more fun court case, anyway! ;)

  48. Tania

    The B*stard

    ...take some numbers away and rearrange the remaining and that's my home phone number he's published on the internet.

    Right...get me some of those forms...

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Don't America bash...

    He is, after all, providing some entertainment.

    Yes, yes, I know the frivolous lawsuit is part of the cultural lexicon now, but every now and then, a true nut emerges who is simply above political discourse. In any country in the world, I think he'd be certified as "insane" (or equivalent).

    Isn't it better to have the nuts come right out and identify themselves to the public like this?

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Title

    Re: UK Citizens Are Unaware Of The Concept Of Freedom

    MUHAHAHAHAHA.. oops.. did I just laugh out loud *looks around the office*

    Freedom?? In this country? Only if you're a big wig in New Labour! Although it is wonderful to see that America is such and equal oppotunities place. Not only can raving lunatics get voted into the Whitehouse, they can sue entities based on their own delusions and insanity.

    People like this should be cherished and held close to our hearts, because no matter how god awfully stupid, how insane and pathetic we ever get - we'll always know there's someone worse than us.

    Bring on more claims like this... I still have tea left in my cup....

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Pete Burgess

    Hmmm, now that Growklaw has nothing to do, maybe they can keep an eye on this.

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Thanks for ending the week with something truly funny!

    I'd call this guy a w*anker, but I doubt he could find the relevant organ with both hands and a searchlight!!

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ahhhh, class action

    I see a class action lawsuit in the making. To all the people out there with two 9s, two 0s a 7 & a 3 in their tax ID, jump on the band wagon. We can up the anti to a 100 billion maybe.....

    And yes the US has limits on free speech, you can't yell fire in a crowded theater if there is no fire.

  54. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In the heat of the moment

    "you can't yell fire in a crowded theater if there is no fire."

    So if you really feel the need to do so, you'd better be sure to take along a lighted match too,

  55. P Saunders

    Read the WHOLE post, people

    Clearly some of you uk citizens do not recognise irony or sarcasm either. To those of you who think i actually agree with mr jayne (or am even american for that matter) please read the entire post next time. Thank you and good night.

  56. The Aussie Paradox

    The Constitution

    I have just realised why the American Constitution says that it's citizens has the right to bear arms.

    If only they...

    :)

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh man

    You see these guys all the time they talk very fast someone is opressing them in some really bizarre way so the mentally ill man wants to sue Google they seem to have made it into the paranoids book of evil like nasa and pepsico.

  58. Daniel Ballado-Torres

    Numbers?

    "55378008 Surely? :)"

    Hey, that looks like a valid phone number in Mexico City! You're going to get so sued!

    Heh. Really, I've never seen a lawsuit written in hand, and oh my! The handwriting is worse than mine ... could this be just one of those cases of lawsuit as protest on frivolous lawsuits? Like that dude suing God?

    Now if these go through, I'm suing Chris Rock for brain damage caused for watching Pootie Tang, $10bn in damages. ;)

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