back to article Russian firm targets wooden phones at posers everywhere

You've got the watch, you've got the car, but have you got a sultry model from Eastern Europe on the passenger seat? If not, Russian company Gresso has created the Avantgarde handset collection, a pair of phones featuring everything from gold screws to an African Blackwood case. The two models, Luna and Sol, both use Gresso’s …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Rappers Delight

    With that vile big "G" on the back, the blingers should love it. PersonalIy I think it looks sh*te, but I don't drive a Hummer or similar upkerbers

  2. Jasper

    roman numeral 0

    The romans didn't have a 0, hence their mathematics being so crummy.

    What are these guys using? Oh, a standard arabic representation. What a load of pretentious garbage - but what do you expect from a phone that does less than a £50 nokia, but costs 5 grand?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So?

    ...does it come with a dolphin-leather bag? Bedazzled dolphin-leather bag of course?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Isn't she lovely

    I eagerly await the ivory version,

  5. voshkin

    normal numbers innit

    Stop being so negative!

    The Russian “Premium” phone market is quite well developed, and it is nice to see a Russian model on offer. People are tired of Vertu and other drastically overpriced models, so this particular handset will suite Russian middle-management nicely. And if it truly has Windows mobile 6 – it definitely has more to offer than £50 Nokia – exchange email being one.

    Roman numerals are a nice tough, though personally I would have preferred the original decimal digits, http://www.ericofon.com/faces/face18.jpg just to make fun of people saying “why can’t you have normal numbers innit”

  6. This post has been deleted by its author

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Drastically overpriced versus overpriced drastically

    " People are tired of Vertu and other drastically overpriced models, "

    What part of "this phone costs 5 or 7 grand" don't you understand?!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nonono

    He means that the Vertu line is even more overpriced. If you find this stuff sickening, then you clearly are not the target demographic. I for one would wish it came with the molars of some oppressed ethic group for buttons. Bound in human skin...

  9. voshkin

    overpiced

    "What part of "this phone costs 5 or 7 grand" don't you understand?!"

    - The part were Vertu costs three-four times as much (other than the vanilla model they have that no one buys).

    As I said, this is for Russian Middle-management. Not for data-room attendants ;-)

  10. alialiali

    tasty?

    lol i've just been to the vertu site - the phones look like the nokia 7250. klass.

  11. Daniel Snowden

    Tasteless!

    I can guess the standard ringtone: "Bling, Bling!"

  12. MishyMoshy

    Playboy Toy

    To be honest, without the price tag, the 70's lounge teaktastic look just reminds me of an old TV remote somehow.

  13. b shubin

    Fire hazard

    no, really.

    for once, it is totally obvious why. keep away from open flame, by order of the fire marshall.

    this is idiotic on so many levels, it added a sensuous luster to my "dumb expensive toy" list. Paris and Nicole should get these for their next gig...

  14. Steve Roper

    For the obnoxious celebrity...

    This of course is in the same category as the wristwatch made from pieces of the Titanic that cropped up recently. It shows the mentality of the 2% of humanity that controls 98% of the world's wealth, and who don't give a rat's arse about the planet, other people, or anything other than flouting their obnoxiousness and wealth knowing no one can or will do anything about it.

  15. John

    Looks like...

    ...wood-o-plastic [TM] to me. 5 grand for something that looks like cheap tat, I don't think so.

  16. Jon Hardcastle

    My g0d...

    ..What a brilliant, and well researched and written story!

    Love it.

    More like this please.

  17. the Jim bloke Silver badge

    posers ?

    I didnt think they answered to anything less than Poseurs

  18. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    drastically overpriced

    So Vertu is drastically overpriced, making these only moderately overpriced.

    I imagine that there are millions of people that are tired of paying £20000 for a stupid mobile phone. Ah ! Such is the hard life of those who have to go to Sotchi to get a decent sun tan.

    Well I paid €89 for my mobile, and I find it was largely enough. It's a Samsung d900i, and already on the camera side it has 3 megapixels. And as far as looks are concerned, I think mine looks just as good. Seems like I saved £4950 ! And a dolphin !

  19. alan lovedog

    vertu phones

    saw a very shiny bejewelled one in selfridges last year - yours for... £39000 (!)

  20. Connor Garvey

    I'll do one better

    Let me grab my club. I have this great idea for a new Yang-tze river dolphin-skin phone.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Vertu is really about the service...

    ...Not so much the phone. Still waaay overpriced.

  22. Dejan Dozic

    Mobilephone of artifact

    WAIT !!

    Everything I learned about making things easier for people

    to handle things easier cannot be found with those controls.

    Roman numbers.... arrows and markings only the makers knows about.

    This is a manual makers complete nightmare and a finacial disaster for a buyer.

    Should someone actually use this phone or have it on display ?!?!?

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