back to article El Reg lobs iPhone at Genius Bar

Friday was one of life's great days: I returned my iPhone. I was tired of Apple's adult-proof keyboard. I was tired of AT&T's piddling wireless network. But most of all, I was embarrassed that I'd bought the thing in the first place. First, I suffered the public humiliation of standing in line with hundreds of people who can' …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe the problem is you?

    I know that the iPhone isn't for everyone, and never could be. But I find it funny that you seem to think that just because YOU don't like it suddenly it's a bad phone, and that you are SOOO intellectual because you don't like the phone. I mean you certainly could be, but this article doesn't prove it. My issue is not so much that you don't like the thing, it's that you seem to look down your nose at those that do enjoy the phone, and don't have a problem using it.

  2. J. Cook Silver badge

    Interesting...

    A lot of my co-workers asked me if I was going to buy an iPhone when they came out. I answered 'no' for the reasons that Dan had stated, plus the fact that I don't exactly *have* $500 or so lying around. (if I did, I'd be replacing my 2 year old Sidekick II with either a CrackBerry or a the newer iteration of the sidekick.)

    If people pressed the point, I tell them that I'm waiting for the six months or so to pass to see how well the devices stand up to Joe Consumer pressing his greasy hands on it, and for various and sundry bug fixes.

  3. Brett Weaver

    I don't understand...

    I'm afraid I'm a little confused here. As an early adopter of any technology or product you should expect to pay a little more.

    It may be that here in New Zealand we pay an inordinate amount of money for our phones but all of my last four phones over the last eight years or so have cost at least $US600. The last phone I bought two years ago cost about $US900.

    The price seems to be the main reason you returned it... Well I presume you knew what price it was when you bought it so I don't understand why you hadn't worked out the ramifications of owning a more expensive phone. God help you if you ever get left enough money for a Porsche!

    As far as Apple being good marketers, well, hurray! I love choice. I want a vibrant market where innovation can be sold well. As a software developer I'd love to have them on my side or people half as good.

    You have just convinced me to buy one as soon as they come onto the market down here!

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And now while we are waiting for the first iDiot to start bashing you...

    I'd like to say that I really admire Apple's ability to inflate this marketing bubble. Even in Molvania people must have heard about the iPhone and all the associated iCrap by now.

  5. Steve Evans

    What wait for the iDiot?

    Hey, anon, you missed him... First post was from one of the cowardly fanboyz.

  6. foxyshadis

    How many will take the bait?

    Ahaha, I haven't seen El Reg troll this hard for big flames in a while. I guess they're trying to top the last few FotWs. =D

  7. Eric

    where to begin

    What is it about The Register and the iPhone? Is it because The Reg started with an opinion before the iPhone came out and now must stick with it?

    That said, i fully understand if someone finds the keyboard unusable it's not the right phone. Hell, I remember before i had an iPhone, trying to stick my fingers in a pencil sharpener to be able to use my Blackberry effectively. I can very much sympathise.

    I do have to question - El Reg (once respected, rapidly declining...) what exactly is it with the tagline of "You buy something from Apple your a lemming that can't think for himself"? I never seem to hear that from El Reg about - well - any other company.

    Oh well i guess it's only fair when someone buys a Mac rather than a Dell, or an iPhone rather than a Nokia. After all, a quick web search of iPhone reviews turns up OVERWHELMINGLY positive ratings from just about every gadget / tech review site. Yep, no question these must be uninformed shmucks trying to impress their peers.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good story!

    I applaud the author for articulating the emotional rollercoaster that owners of 1st-gen rottenApples must endure. Just be glad you didn't have hardware issues on top of the other frustrations.

  9. John Molloy

    Sad

    Reg, you are losing it Engadget ran this article - or one with all the same jokes about a week ago

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Register and the iPhone

    I second the 'What is it with The Register and the iPhone'? Most of the coverage comes across like whining. The Reg is trying to be trendy by being contrariwise, but there's no content to the articles. Take this one for instance -

    News flash - person takes phone back and gets refund!

  11. Lexx Greatrex

    It's quite simple fanboys READ the article before getting emotional

    The writer gave the primary reason for abandoning the iPhone to be the Internet connection being limited to AT&T's less than 3G network. Anything less than 3G makes for a VERY frustrating Internet experience even for HTML based content let alone flash or video.

    This fundamental lack of bandiwdth coupled with the huge cost of the iPhone and the dogmatic marketing hysteria just sealed the deal for him, as it has with many others.

    I am sure there will be people out there using the iPhone as a regular phone and an iPod and not for anything that demands a decent Internet connection.

    People who expected more, like myself, and now and feel conned by the Apple hype machine into thinking this will replace both your smart phone and iPod, should do the same and return the damn thing. I personally would like nothing more than to wipe the smirk off Jobs' concieted face with a mass consumer reovolt. Return it, get your money back (or most of it at least) and send a message that we demand more than just clever marketing.

  12. Aubry Thonon

    Not surprised.

    I'm not surprised the author returned the iPhone (and I am certainly not surprised to see the person attacking the author posted anonymously). I have had a smart-phone for years now and when I read the list of so-called features the iPhone would sport, my only comment was "yeah.... and...?" I simply couldn't believe that there wasn't an "..and..." to this list, considering how much of a "new paradigm" this phone was supposed to be.

    Oh, and before someone posts about my being an "Apple-basher", I'd like to point out I refuse to upgrade to Vista for exactly the same reason... I read the list of features and... well... was utterly un-enthralled. I am now working on downloading all of the MS patches I can make myself a XP SP3 CD before MS cans XP support to force us to upgrade.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I also assume by default whatever is popular is probably bad

    In general, what is popular is usually not the best product. For example, Windows is the most popular OS, and it sucks.

    Krups is the most popular espresso maker brand in the US and what they make isn't even espresso by definition (based on the amount of pressure the beans must be exposed to Krups makers only make burned coffee.)

    The original XBOX was far superior to the more popular PS2 mostly because the graphics card was over a year newer. The Atari Lynx was better than the the more popular Game Boy.

    So I understand the motivation behind this statement:

    More importantly, if you carry an iPhone, what happens to your self-worth? I can assure you: It plummets. Carry an iPhone, and you're just one of the lemmings.

    But the reasons for returning something should be that you could look through the hype to find rational technical reasons for returning it. Now you did find a few technical reasons, the network certainly being a valid one, and if that was enough to justify returning it, fantastic. But you imply your main driving factor was your self worth.

    Simply not liking a product because it is popular is just as bad as liking it because it is popular.

  14. Gareth Pye

    Monkey See Monkey Do

    "After all, a quick web search of iPhone reviews turns up OVERWHELMINGLY positive ratings from just about every gadget / tech review site."

    The quality of essentially all journalism these days is terrible, mainly because so much of it isn't by journalists. I'd much rather read negatively phrased articles, its much easier to get a balanced view out of it.

    With devices like phones the annoying bits are much more obvious than the flashy bits, I recently upgraded phones because the volume switch on my phone was malfunctioning. Small part, huge impact on usage.

  15. kode

    Apple fans make me ashamed

    I've never owned any other computers than macs (and that's for over ten years) and I love them dearly. OS X is not perfect but it's the most suitable OS to me. But many, and I mean many, many times I've considered moving to Linux. The reason? The mac zealots.

    I mean, my god, they sometimes make me so embarrassed to be a mac user. I've practically stopped reading any mac forums, which I used to frequent, because of this feeling of utter disconnection I feel with the fanbois.

    And now because of the iPhone those crazies are everywhere, and this is probably my third or fourth anti-Apple post on a public forum in two weeks. Why? Because if someone dares to criticise iPhone he's attacked immediately and called bully or some other negative phrase sad people like to use to defend their beliefs. I feel like I have to say something, which probably is dumb, but well, that's what I do.

    I have to say, though, that I've met many great mac heads during the years, people who are normal computer users and understand that they're dealing with a computer, not some relic from the bible that has to be praised all the time everywhere. For some strange reason iPhone has suddenly become a new object of faith to a lot of mac zealots. And to the earlier poster who said iPhone has received glowing reviews everywhere I must say that actually all reviews I've read have also been quite critical of its flaws. And as usual some reviews are more "understanding" than the others.

    I do appreciate Apple's efforts of bringing their knowledge of great UI design to the phone industry. I hope the phone's GUI will be an inspiration to the professional phone makers.

    I must add that I'm gay and I've met my share of discrimination during the years. Apple zealots crying wolf just leave me cold. They are people who buy into PR and zealotry induced mass hystery and start to cry when someone spoils their party with a critical view. They remind me of some sad religious bigots who just love to condemn other people. Well, people have a need to belong and I guess the feeling of being persecuted for your beliefs is one strong feeling to tie group of people together. It's just a bit sad that those beliefs are about a half baked and seriously crippled multimedia device.

    One thing I've learned about human nature is that fundamentalism for any reason is just ugly, be it for a god or a computer. Although I guess when it stays in the commercial products it's not as lethal as it is in the world politics. So in the end it's really not that serious.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You're a Jackass

    that's all

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    touching and caressing

    no matter how much u love the iphone it can never love you back ... there is only 1 problem with this machiavellan product: it sucks way2much visual bandwidth. with ipods we have already have a zoned out generation deaf to the sounds of life all around and now a blind one to follow (pun intended). all that touching and caressing best left 4something warm blooded :)

  18. pierrenorman

    luser

    wow. hmmm you waited in line to buy a phone that:

    1. all the features were announced months in advance including at&t and edge

    2. had the opportunity to view almost an hour's worth of video on apple's site about the phone's functionality in the weeks leading up to the release

    3. walked into a store and had the opportunity to ask questions and *actually use one* before purchase.

    and you still bought one?

    you are a complete and utter moron. you are the mindless lemming.

    good thing i wasn't working there. this is how our conversation would have gone:

    "oh you don't like AT&T? did you not hear that the iphone only worked on at&t's network? did you think the iphone would magically make at&t not suck? are you from the past? so tell me again why did you buy the iphone?" are you on any medication right now?"

    trust me, i would have made you feel like the idiot you've just told us you are.

    i had all the same information you had. i knew the iphone inside and out before ever getting my hands on one. i already had at&t and have had *no* issues with them. please stop with the FUD.

    emotional rollercoaster??? WTF?? it's a PHONE!!! another paid lackey from RIM i imagine...

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Corporate Usage

    Another minor AT&T gotchya is that you can't put these things on a corporate plan. We had 2 people here return them because they can't have the company pay for them (even though we're on AT&T 'Orange') and the company policy is only to pay for cell usage via the corporate plan - absolutely no expensing cell phone usage. So they would have to pay themselves.

    Also, 802.1x network support is well and truely broken [keystore issues]. (Actually thats a MacOS issue that we're also fighting on other MacOS X platforms). No plans to fix this RSN from what I gather.

    So all in all not a good purchase for Bay Area corporate use.

    Ah well at least my Blackberry has Google Maps (with GPS and traffic condition updates) and the new audio streaming stuff seems to work pretty well too.

  20. Daniel

    Positive and negative

    This guy gave the iPhone positive remarks excluding the keyboard + price.

    Just my two cents.

    / I'm keeping my Symbian Nokia and HTC Dash cuz I like putting my own crap on it :)

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good article

    And I'm a fanboy.

  22. Surur

    The Apple iDiot tax

    iPhone users pay more for a device without:

    MMS

    3G

    ability to save files on the device to open later

    ability to attach any file to e-mail

    no ability to control data usage - you can not stop the downloading of pictures in safari, or the downloading of attachments in the e-mail app

    no ability to poll for e-mail less than every 15 minutes.

    useless yahoo push e-mail

    ringtones unless you hack your device to death

    wallpapers

    searching contacts

    etc etc etc

    Its a tax on the people too stupid to use a normal smartphone.

  23. Rupert Stubbs

    Cost of dropping a smartphone...

    Try dropping your Nokia N95. Or any other expensive phone. You break it, you lose money. Just because a lot of the phones are subsidised, it doesn't mean you can break them and not pay the full cost. Or get insurance.

    People have swallowed Ballmer's line about the iPhone being the most expensive phone in the world. But it really isn't, as those who drop their LG Pradas and the like will no doubt discover.

    More importantly, phones that are subsidised are effectively owned by the network - which means in practice that they have little interest in investing any more money in improving them. When was the last time your phone gained any significant extra functionality through a SW update?

    Apple has broken the networks' control, and I would expect to see a lot of the 'little details' improved and updated in the future.

  24. Kevin Thomas

    Oh dear!

    The thing is dear author (and readers who continue to bash apple supporters), the wonders of the capitalist marketplace ensure competition and availability of a wide range of consumer goods.

    You have problems with a gadget, that's fine...return it and buy the rivals product, but why winge. You have a choice...use it.

    As for "the only real reason to buy an iPhone is peer pressure.", you are merely showing your own level of maturity (or immaturity). If Steve Jobs told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it? I doubt it very much.

    I dislike Ford cars as I find them completely dull and uninteresting to look at, the marketing would have me believe otherwise, but hey...I have a mind. I choose to buy something else instead, that's free will...something the author and some readers appear to be lacking.

    Sure, the phone may have teething problems. It's a first-gen product for goodness sake. If you're going to be an early adopter, be prepared to live with the bugs. Failing that, do as the author did...take it back and get a refund, just don't whine that a big bully made you buy the phone, it was your choice.

    Sheesh...some people are real whingers!

    Suck it up and grow yourself some bollocks.

  25. Chris Miller

    3G or 2.5G

    I have no desire for or experience with the iPhone, but I think producing a consumer phone without 3G is a good call. I've just bought a Treo 680 which is similarly 'crippled', because:

    a) 3G significantly reduces battery life;

    b) I have no enthusiasm for watching last night's footy on a 2-inch screen;

    c) I refuse to pay the networks' extortionate data rates if I use it as a laptop modem.

    I expect this makes me an atypical user, though.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Didn't anyone read the reviews?

    I have been considering getting an iPhone when they come out in Europe. Considering, I should add. Naturally, because I don't want to waste a large chunk of cash, I have been reading all of the reviews. All of the good things, bad things, annoyances, niggles and omissions are all very clearly detailed all over the internet.

    Surely other people did this too before rushing out to queue up with a wedge of cash, and therefore should have known what to expect?

  27. Erlang Lacod

    will they learn from experience ?

    It will be interesting to see whther Apple will have learned from this experience when they launch the iPhone in European markets. If they have we should be able to expect less hype, revised software and better network speeds. Who knows

  28. Greg

    Good man!

    Nicely done, sir! Another user who refuses to buy a product that is made of 95% hype, 4% interface and 1% substance. And to iPhone users - whine and moan and bitch all you like about my heresy against the Great God Jobs. I'll quite happily go around paying less and getting more, thanks. The MDA series from T-Mobile has been giving me fast speeds, full functionality and much lower prices for years. Screw the iPhone.

    Sorry dudes. The iPhone may look shiny, but for actually getting anything done with the device, Windows Mobile came along years ago and kicked your asses into touch.

  29. MattW

    Good article

    Sure, it was calculated to incite wailing, gnashing frenzy from the fanboys (and they didn't disappoint). However, it makes good points.

    The iPhone was guaranteed to sell by the bucketload because of some brilliantly crafted hype / marketing. However hype is just hype. The same device in black, with a Nokia or Sony Ericsson badge on it's case would have been laughed off the shelves.

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  32. Lickass McClippers

    RE: kode

    Best comment on here by far Sir.

    I keep my head below the parapet to avoid falling foul of the fundamentalists on either side...

  33. Russell Sakne

    Why did he buy it?

    Because he's a journalist who wanted to review it and didn't get onto a free-preview list. So please stop bashing the guy for having bought it in the first place.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    kode, you are not alone

    http://www.osnews.com/story.php/14577/Why-I-Will-Probably-Never-Buy-Another-Mac/page1/

  35. Lee Turner

    Having to pay to return something...

    ...Is that even legal?

  36. Paul van der Lingen

    fan boy

    I admit it - I am a dyed in the wool fan boy - cut me and I bleed crisp white blood, saw me in half, and all my icky insides have little apple logo's stamped on them..

    but - not even I would buy a gen 1 iPhone when it's network locked and not 3G.

    We did all know those things some time back. So why then, did elReg buy it when they knew it had those short comings?

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    111.87 USDollars!

    So, life with the iPhone cost you $111.87!

    Excellent!

    Had I read the piece as a response from a reader of El Reg I wouldn't have bothered with a reply but your simpering so-called 'Analysis' gives both The Register and journalism a bad name.

    I'm not holding the flame for the iPhone but ... for goodness sake ... can you imaging going back to a BMW dealer and saying "Take the car back. I don't like the way the bugs stay on the windscreen. I have to wipe them off!", "I don't like the buttons on the radio." and, "I can't get 60mpg."

    You had evey chance to make an informed choice. You knew about the hype. You even tried it!

    Then you parted with a load of money.

    You truly are a w*nker.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmmmmm

    Just a few things:

    pierrenorman, I dont think you would service in customer service long, thank god, you can buy a product, knowing its bad points, in the hope that the good will out weigh the bad, and you dont really know until you have had a chance to use said product.

    The iPhone is a good product for a number of reasons, all of them to do with the UI, the phone should be a wake up call to the likes of Nokia and SonyEricsson, which like the moto Z8 should be a wake up call to anybody (SonyEricsson) making a UIQ based phone.

    There is nothing new in the iPhone, what apple have done well is thought about how it will be used. (and perhaps introduced the next version of the iPod ui?)

    On the other hand, you can not blame Apple if you are sucked in by its hype/marketing that is down to you and only you, MS is just just as good/bad at this sort of thing, as is any company.

    Yes, I am a fan of the "I'm a Mac, I'm a PC" ads, they are very good ads, and do you know what I identify with PC, not because I think Mac is smug or because he is better or picking on PC, but because I have suffered the same issues PC does in the ad's: PC locking, crashing, having to delete all the crippledware etc. These (along with Vista) are the reason I am leaving PC land behind without a second look, I dare say I will be moaning about the bad bits of OSX withing days of starting to use it as my mean OS.

    You know, the guy was right, its a product, not an artical of faith, and an insult or parise of the product is not an insult or parise of you, the user.

  39. Alex

    Emotional.

    "Carry an iPhone, and you're just one of the lemmings...."

    "If you value your sense of self..."

    Trust me, you will find embarrassment far less worrying when you leave adolescence.

  40. Frank Bough

    My God

    This is far and away the most ludicrous iPhone article yet. If peer pressure plays such a role in your life, I'd recommend a psychologist rather than a new telephone. For most people, I suspect, an iPhone will be recognised as - and used for - what it actually IS - a novel mobile telephone with a touchscreen interface and built-in iPod. Of course, I can't be certain.

    Some things here ARE certain - the iPod is not especially expensive realtive to other products of its ilk; AT&T are not an especially bad or good a telco; The Register has done its reputation real harm with its bizarre, schizophrenic reporting of the launch of a telephone.

    You didn't forget it was a telephone, did you?

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "If Steve Jobs told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?"

    @Kevin

    Most Mac fan-boys would if Steve 'The Almighty' Jobs told them to.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The iPhone is okay but the iPhone fans aren't

    Anyone who read the article would know it's NOT an all-out attack on the iPhone. The author said the interface is brilliant but the price is too high, and the network connection is too poor. He also implied the discussions within some Apple circles are getting scarily one-sided.

    Look at some of the replies on here for example, they're saying things like "As far as Apple being good marketers, well, hurray!" Does that seem like the kind of thing the average person would say in the real world? Do you know anyone in real life who would say "I want a vibrant market where innovation can be sold well" in the course of a normal conversation?

    A balanced assessment of the iPhone might contain some or all of the following: "Great interface, great touchscreen, great looks, a bit pricey at the moment, slightly fiddly keyboard, shame about the lack of 3G but not everyone wants it."

    What you actually get from supposed Apple fans on the internet is stuff like "It's a complete paradigm shift, this is going to redefine the end user experience, it's a new dawn for mobile communications, this is five years ahead of the competition, it's magical, it made me cry with joy, etc"

    I know Apple fans in real life and they do NOT talk like that, which makes you wonder if some of these over-the-top "paradigm" posts are being planted by a guerilla marketing campaign. They keep using the specific phrase "user experience" over and over and over again, which looks a bit suspicious as it's not something that people say that much outside advertising agencies and marketing departments.

  43. Giles Jones Gold badge

    Price

    I don't see the issue people have with the price?

    Quite simply if the price puts you off then the product isn't for you.

    "If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it"

  44. Steve Barnes

    Fanboys

    Man I hate them!

    And it seems like Apple ones are the worst of all! Grumpier & more defensive than Linux, MS, Sony, Nintendo, etc. Apple could release a piece of turd with a clickwheel on the front of it and sell it as "the new revolutionary 21st century kettle" and Apple fanboys would defend it! Crazy.

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Carry an iPhone, and you're just one of the lemmings."

    Oh great, so you buy the iPhone because of peer pressure and then you dump it because of peer pressure. It's not your peers, it's you. No-one cares about you. They're not looking at you or your stuff. Honestly, no-one gives a shit.

  46. Greg

    Re: The anonymous flame-tard

    "You had evey chance to make an informed choice. You knew about the hype. You even tried it!

    Then you parted with a load of money.

    You truly are a w*nker."

    Did it ever occur to your tiny brain that he bought it to review it. You know - given that he's a tech journalist and all? And Apple's product info doesn't exactly concentrate on the fact that it sucks.

  47. Rob

    Blimey! iFanboys are quite abusive...

    ... Well done ElReg for writing an article which highlighted the main points of failure for the device, which is, it should be more for what it is.

    Also well done Kode and the person who put the link in "kode, you are not alone", an excellent article there, and after reading it I now think Apple are the iCommunists of the technology industry. Lock down like they are doing now seems like a desperate measure to hold onto profits when they know they can't increase their market share much more. They would have certainly been committing commercial suicide if they hadn't released a phone to compete with Windows Mobile, especially now WM6 is about and plugs almost seamlessly into Vista.

  48. Dam

    Re: iDiots tax

    I rofl'd at this comment :p

    While we're on it, anyone fancies buying a splendid DVD rewinder?

    SORRY, iDVD rewinder

    http://bash.org/?165759

    I'm also selling a next-gen iRubbishbin, an iPaperweight and the latest iChuckNorrisMovie.

  49. Victor Szulc

    Typical Apple-arrogance

    Listen to the clerk: "You know," he said. "They're all upset because it doesn't do some tiny little thing that they're old phone could do."

    And read the messageboards, like some the comments above me. Somehow, if someone doesn't love the Iphone, or dares to find faults with its interface, it's a personal insult to a Mac-fanboy... And everybody who has a mac is a fanboi... Trust me, there's just varying degrees to their lunacy.

  50. Eric

    one more thing

    Hi i posted something earlier in the comment string. I had and have no beef with the reasons for the El Reg "journalist" returning the phone. Bad internet speed / coverage, fingers too big - fine.

    It's just the comments like "you're just one of the lemmings..." etc that are just sooo El Reg vs. Apple. I simply meant to point out that this would never happen with any other company's product and the register. If thousands lined up and bought a puke-green halo edition xbox360 - well they're perfectly well adjusted enthusiastic gamers. If you pranced around 3 years ago with a brand new $500 Razr - well you appreciate good phones with a nice form factor. I could go on and on...

    The other thing that peeved me was that in the one article the "journalist" takes juvernile and shallow cracks at Apple staff as to their rating on the hipness-meter, and at the same time somehow turns the fact that he was able to return his 2 week old iPhone with a 10% restocking fee into a damning negative. I'm sorry but 10% restocking fee for an opened and 2-week used product is unheard of? What are you, deaf??

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Apple is more of a religion than a business

    But then, isn't religion a business, and a quite succesful one at that? So maybe that's the way to go...

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Jonathan Ive has a lot to answer for...

    We've been here before with Apple. Mediocre product, fantastic design. Form over function? Who knows, I've never tried one and never intend to (not Apple bashing, just simply because I'm quite happy with my phone that makes phone calls, and MP3 player that plays MP3 files. And my camera which isn't as appalling as the iPhone's). I digress, look where Apple were before they appointed Jonathan Ive to design the iMac, The iMac looked fresh (oooh! not beige!), but was utterly useless - the Duplo of computers.

    Apple became "cool" - let's face it, their marketing team have been excellent for years; Ive became rich - and rightly so, he's a fantastic designer and product conceptualist.

    Look beyond Apple, I'm a graphic designer who, shock!, uses a PC. I'd quite happily use an Amiga which I still think would have been the dominant force in this area should management not have destroyed it.

    Moral? Don't listen to a designer who knows nothing about the tech behind things, knows pretty things when he sees them, and quite happily will talk bollocks to potential clients to make them bite. Maybe I should buy an iPhone after all.

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: one more thing

    "By EricPosted Tuesday 17th July 2007 10:40 GMT

    ...

    It's just the comments like "you're just one of the lemmings..." etc that are just sooo El Reg vs. Apple. I simply meant to point out that this would never happen with any other company's product and the register. If thousands lined up and bought a puke-green halo edition xbox360 - well they're perfectly well adjusted enthusiastic gamers. If you pranced around 3 years ago with a brand new $500 Razr - well you appreciate good phones with a nice form factor. I could go on and on..."

    = = =

    It doesn't happen because no other company attracts the type of pious fanboy wankers that Apple does. You appear to be a case in point.

  54. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    You truly are a w*nker.

    Congratulations on your tremendous insight and valued opinion, Mr. Anonymous Coward. Too bad you didn't have the balls to actually put your name on your comment.

  55. Frank Bough

    Anti-Nazi League

    "Somehow, if someone doesn't love the Iphone, or dares to find faults with its interface, it's a personal insult to a Mac-fanboy... And everybody who has a mac is a fanboi... Trust me, there's just varying degrees to their lunacy."

    There are two types of fanboy: the fanboy and the anti-fanboy.

    They're both equally pathetic.

  56. Eric

    Um yes, but what about the article...?

    Yes Apple attracts fanboy wankers - no question about it.

    But how does that explain/excuse the completely lopsided way anything is portrayed by the register when it comes to Apple?

    Further, how is that different to the "pious fanboy wanker" websites flaming Microsoft for implementing a novel idea in their MP3 player (zune wireless sharing), or flaming Microsoft's very generous XBOX360 repair policy as nothing Microsoft abusing consumers (work that one out...), or describing Vista's extensive security as too little too late, etc.

    To me there's no difference between the reg these days and the "pious fanboy wanker" described above - i guess David that makes you by extension - well of course not a pious fanboy, so just... a wanker? :)

    As a side-note, I have tried to return various things over the course of my life - when it was something unopened i usually got only the option of store credit. When it was opened and used it was either lots of arguments and then store credit or lots of arguments and then no joy. Am i just expecting too little, is a complete money-back return policy the norm in the US?

  57. Eric

    sorry - just one last thing

    hmm, I found an interesting review of the iphone.

    It's by The Register - solid 90% score. The author of that review is Cade Metz.

  58. Simon Gray

    W*nker here.

    Well, there we go, proof be (if any were needed) that David Corbett's comment was spot on. Next - I insult your choice of washing powder that fails to clean but comes in A Really Nice Box Advertised By Pretty People Who Are Cleverer Than You. <sigh>, el Reg got what they wanted I suppose. Fair play to them.

  59. Steve

    Steve Jobs is an evil maniac.

    He evidently has all you iFanbois under some kind of weird mind control. I mean, christ, most of your posts look like pure brain stem reactions.

    Your whole life is thus :

    if(article != iLovein) {

    FLAME();

    }

    You are under the spell of a sociopath.

    You sorry shower of tossers.

  60. Iain Cartledge

    So, Macs...

    I've never owned a Mac, although I've worked on them and I have always respected Apple for creating things that are relatively bug-free and are pretty much off-the-shelf (compared to MS anyway). Most of the things that MS have brought to the software world have had problems. Yes, a lot of what the Mac/PC adverts say is valid as well (although flawed in its reasoning, you never got many games for Macs for exactly the same reason that you get more virii on PCs), however I also take exception to many things Apple related. Their environmental impact, their "it's really cool" approach (far from just being peer pressure, it means that people who have no idea about computers don't bother learning, they just buy it, I hate PC World for the same reasons), etc.

    Unfortunately Apple have now taken away my respect, by doing exactly what MS does with every release of Windows. They haven't released a finished product, the product (as usual from them) is overpriced for what it is, and it's just not that good (even if the UI is fancy).

    Lastly, the peer pressure argument of "would you jump off a cliff if..." is used in completely the wrong context above. It should be used to teach children not to give in to peer pressure. Whilst I don't see any kids jumping off cliffs, I see plenty smoking and drinking, which I'm sure is in part down to peer pressure and at their age (qualified for the drinking) it is just as dangerous as jumping off a cliff. Peer pressure exists, which is why most kids have mobile phones these days (even though the majority don't use them except for texting friends who live round the corner), and Apple relentlessly release products that are aimed at working their way into the subconscious of society.

    I fear there's a more sinister angle to Apple's marketing. Guinness created adverts years ago with the idea of embedding their brand name into the children's brains. Maybe not inclining them to buy it, but making the name known so that when the kids grow up, the first name that pops into their heads when they take those 3 seconds to decide what to drink is Guinness.

    Go figure.

  61. Eric

    what the...?

    Well Simon with such witty and insightful answers to my questions i should really just shut my (apple)pie hole and... oh hang on a sec - you just made a lame pop-culture reference and hit submit. Sorry my bad... i guess i was just expecting a little more...

    (abridged version of questions: how is reg with its scizophrenic articles like this one combined with the 90% score review earlier any different to the fanboy wanker websites bashing anything but their company's product? what's normal for product return policies in the US?)

    i know, i should really just shut up - If only i weren't so bored and in the mood for a flame war - any flame war will do!.. :P

  62. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    AT&T

    That's enough right there. When they were Cingular, their customer service was great, and their network was fine. They went to AT&T and the old "we're AT&T so if there is a problem, it is YOU" customer service attitude returned in no time!

  63. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    best comment yet.

    "You sorry shower of tossers"

    now that is poetry.

  64. Ray Boehmer

    classless article

    ignoring the disgraceful trolling for flames as too obvious to bother with...

    I'm sorry that the author doesn't have the coordination to type on the keypad. I can, My 75 year-old DAD can, and our fingers are much larger than a 12 year olds.

    Everyone has their own limitations, and I suppose his is hand-eye coordination.

    But even if every point the author makes has some merit for some users, ultimately he returned his phone to make a statement that he is superior to all the people that kept theirs.

    I find it quite ironic that he calls people who buy an expensive piece of equipment LEMMINGS, and is smugly superior, while he ALSO purchased an expensive piece of equipment, but couldn't make it work out for him.

    Obvioulsy, the people who purchased and STILL LOVE their iPhones had a much more intelligent outlook of their purchase and its ramifications. Sounds like the AUTHOR was the LEMMING in this scenario.

    And to all the dimwitted readers that think that displaying acrimony against iPhone owners also makes you superior, realize this; being a fanboy hater is even worse than being a fanboy. You're just as much a 'follower', you're just as much a tool, and you're even less like-able.

  65. Dillon Pyron

    Restocking fee

    You paid 10% after you opened it? I paid 15% for a camera, and I never opened anything except the shipping box. And I had to have it back in their hands in 7 days, which meant I paid almost $30 in express shipping.

    You're lucky.

    Ask me privately, I'll tell you who.

  66. Simon Harris Silver badge

    Think we found our Rufus of the day ...

    re: pierrenorman:

    'good thing i wasn't working there. this is how our conversation would have gone:

    "oh you don't like AT&T? did you not hear that the iphone only worked on at&t's network? did you think the iphone would magically make at&t not suck? are you from the past? so tell me again why did you buy the iphone?" are you on any medication right now?" '

  67. Fred Manning

    Cowardly Fanboy here

    Ok, so I was the first guy to post, and because I didn't feel the need to have my name printed on my comment for the whole interweb to see I got pegged a coward. So fine, have it your way. The thing that really disturbs me (aside from the canned answers from the Bill Gates humpers) is that anyone is surprised that there are problems with the 1st gen of an Apple product! Seriously, this happens every time! If you are going to jump on the bandwagon (which I did) you're gonna have some hiccups! At least the damn things aren't exploding in peoples pockets (...yet lol) Just freaking relax!

  68. Dan

    stoopid is as stoopid does

    forrest gump has been pretty quiet since that biopic a few years back. i heard he'd "invested in some kind of fruit company" but has been pretty quiet since then. some people are like that though eh? they make one big smash and then drop completely off the scope. suffice to say, wherever gump is now, steven jobs owes him a debt of gratitude for his support in the early days, regardless of the fact that the company has long drifted away from its original vision. indeed, apple products are pretty much unusable for someone as ham-fisted as learning difficulty-burdened forrest.

    can't speak for gump, of course, but i'll bet he looks with some fondness on the days when apples were big, grey chunks of functionality that one could take seriously. machines that one could dismantle with a set of screwdrivers and fix oneself. formidable, monolithic looking machines made of steel. who cared if they got finger marks on, so long as they could still boot up and start doing useful tasks? if one was to accidentally kick one's cpu, leaving an unsightly smudge of rubber, well what of it? "leave that non-abrasive cleaner and lint-free cloth where it is, sir, i've a page layout to complete by 4pm, or a great harm will befall".

    verily, gump does not know how to use a computer. no idea at all. a mobile phone is beyond him. mp3 a term inducing nothing more than a look of perplexed inquiry. but he likes pretty things, and he's a rich man, for sure.

  69. Pandora

    Newsflash: 1st Gen Product has Glitches!!!

    So the author volunteered to be a 1st-gen guinea pig...and then whines about it. First-gen products always have problems. That's why I, for one, am glad that the iPhone will be at least 2nd gen before it comes to Canada.

    And if you already know you don't like AT&T, what makes you think you will like ANY phone on AT&T's network? I left Bell Telephone in Canada because it sucks. If Bell turns out to be the Canadian service provider for the iPhone (it won't, but for the sake of argument...), odds are, I wouldn't be buying one.

    I read this article because a friend of mine told me I simply MUST read The Reg because it's soooo great. Uh, thanks, friend, but I don't think I'll be back. What a crap magazine. I'm off to re-read the very thorough, informative and balanced iPhone review at www.ilounge.com now.

  70. Dan

    i should have

    checked that more thoroughly, repetition is a quality i detest.

  71. elder norm

    OK, I will take the flame bait, just this once. :-)

    I have to say that this anti-Apple flaming is getting funnier and funnier. (or just lame, depending on the author. :-) )

    "Its a great product, I just cannot open my beer with it. Can't Apple get anything right?"

    "It smudges. That is so wrong."

    "Its affected by gravity. How can Apple let that happen?"

    I tell you, the jokes just keep coming. Of course, I am just ignoring the "Apple sucks cause, er, its Apple and not Microsoft. I just love Bill Gates and his crap, er software. " comments.

    Apple is making a product. Most people just love it (Apple Tv, iPod, iPhone, computers, software). But those that do not seem to hate it for weird obscure reasons. If you do not like the interface, fine. Don't buy it. Same with Microsoft, but why buy it and hate it????? Sounds like a bunch of MS fanboys to me. Period.

    I just cannot wait to see what is going to be happening this holiday season. Maybe the Zune will be a hot selling item. Or maybe Vista will surge in sales. :-) You never know.

    EN

  72. Greg

    I may have an explanation...

    "But how does that explain/excuse the completely lopsided way anything is portrayed by the register when it comes to Apple?"

    Some of El Reg's articles are based on the opinion of the author. That's what makes El Reg different to other sites that just pander to whatever press releases are thrown at them by Apple (*cough* BBC *splutter*) - El Reg have the balls to stand up and say "sorry, we think this is shite."

    And as for giving it a 90% review, then returning it - I would refer to that as the novelty wearing off. He bought the phone to do the review, thought it was quite good, but quickly got tired of it and returned it. Makes sense to me.

  73. Ben Allen

    Twice the idiot

    Mr. Metz, you rented an iPhone for almost two weeks for $111.

    You stood in line because of peer pressure. You paid a lot for a phone, despite knowing that it lacked features you need. You ignored the return policy stating that they have to charge you in order to clean your grease and sweat off the thing.

    Then you congratulate yourself for Taking a Stand and Going Against the Grain.

    Standing up for some 'principle' after already giving into it is much worse than simply embracing your vanity.

    It's also truly sad how much influence your choice of cell phone has over your sense of self-worth.

    You need to see a therapist. And grow some bollocks. Seriously.

  74. Gareth

    Interesting follow-up review...

    Nice to see someone being honest that the iPhone isn't really all that great after a couple of weeks of use.

    I'd be purchasing a Helio Ocean if only it came with an open SDK. I am getting sick of my 3 year old SPV500's unstable, clunky Windows Mobile UI, but I like being able to run thousands of applications on it - even write my own if I need to.

  75. Jason

    Author has a point

    There is no flaming or Apple hate here.

    His issues have merit.

    The hype created by Apple and AT&T was a bit much. Just like any appliance that is sold the sellers want to increase the want/need before the product is available i.e. cars, phones, computers, video games, etc. Many people unfortunately were swept by the undertow of Apple's hype of the iPhone when they announced it.

    Next, the UI was a bit overpriced considering that it is a stripped down version of OSX. The hardware has been proven to be made by quality makers. So there was no need for overpriced hardware either. A fair price would have been $400 for the 8Gig model and since you have no choice but to use AT&T the activation service fees should have just been included with the phone price. There was no need to milk every dollar at every corner. I don't see this kind of practice alot since most sellers are intellegent enough to include the brakes with a car or the motherboard with a computer for the sale price.

    The keyboard feature does have a few glitches but I think the software engineers will comes up with a solution soon.

    I can't comment about the glass screen because nobody on planet Earth can prevent smudges or scratches on any surface. The only true scratch resistant item on this planet is diamonds.

    As for the lack of service provided by AT&T....well that's their own fault. They do lack a 3G network since they only installed the technology in select areas and haven't maintained it. The customer shouldn't have to suffer for it though. If you buy a Ferrari and want to drive it down the street would you use the cracked pavement road or the new smooth pavement road? That's a rhetorical question.

  76. Rob

    @elder norm

    I think that just about sums it up though, even though I mentioned Windows Mobile and I use it along with Vista, I wouldn't really call myself an MS fanboy but I do use lot of MS products and technology. I seriously wouldn't get as upset as some of these iFanbois would though if someone wanted to have a go at MS (of which they do on a daily basis, yet there doesn't seem to be as much vehmence as the iPeople have, from the MS Camp of fans, if there are any).

    I think the iPhone UI is a great innovation and the screen looks great but unfortunately the lockdown on the phone and lack of some other tech on it makes me not want to buy one, probably those small reasons the Author took his back. Still early days anyway, give it a few more months then see if it measures up as a phone.

    Prehaps part of the reason people like winding up iFans is that they take it all far too seriously and bite far too easily.

    I now leave the floor open to more flaming (any directed at me will be water off a ducks back, but feel free all the same).

    And thanks to all for helping me skip through the day with doing little or no work :)

  77. Jon

    Some would call it pedantry

    Some will call it grammar nazi...

    I just expect better!

    "They're all upset because it doesn't do some tiny little thing that they're [sic] old phone could do."

  78. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Twice the idiot / Ben Allen

    No, Ben - *you* are the fucking idiot, (along with pierrenorman, Ray Boehmer, Frank Bough, Tevin Thomas, and several others).

    HE ONLY BOUGHT THE PHONE SO HE COULD REVIEW IT FOR THE REG. (is that so difficult a concept for you muppets to grasp?)

    And why was buying an iPhone even necessary? Because Apple threw their toys out of the pram and wouldn't send them one for review.

    El Reg. obviously *do* have bollocks - they aren't just a bunch of fawning, press release swallowing hacks. You really should be grateful for that fact.

  79. foof

    Reporting or whining?

    Just because YOU don't like it and returned it, doesn't give you the right to demean people that do like it and are happy with their purchase. What an ass.

    The Reg needs a way of blocking stories by author. At least put the authors name beside the story name on the home page so we don't have to completely waste our time.

    This hack, and I do mean hack, needs to return his keyboard to the store as well.

  80. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ Rob

    "...yet there doesn't seem to be as much vehmence as the iPeople have, from the MS Camp of fans, if there are any"

    All I ever hear is how badly Macs/iPods/iPhones suck by MS fansheep that have never even been in the same room as a Mac/iPod/iPhone. At least most iFans have experience with other products.

  81. Robert Gordon

    What have we become

    Wow is all I can say... The hype, the joy, the flames, the anger.. what have we become. Introvert to the extreme me me me my god what can this small plastic box do for me enriching my life!!

    People are dying for the lack of a doller a day, that a $500!!! phone gets this much passion from anyone is a crying shame.

    Getting fanatical about real life and society changing things i can understand, space exploration, environmentally friendly power and many other things ..

    People this is a phone a $500 hunk of plastic that will be in land fill in two years we shouldn't be worried about fanboi's we should be more worried that anyone has bought this at all.

  82. Keith T

    and you can't replace the batteries yourself

    No article on such a battery operated device is complete without noting that:

    1. You cannot replace the batteries yourself

    2. Apple wants $85 to replace the batteries, and

    3. The batteries are not guaranteed to work for the life of the 2 year minimum contract you sign to use the device.

  83. Graham Lockley

    Thanks but...

    Disregarding the UI (some nice takes on a few ideas that have been around for a while) the Iphone wont be on my upgrade list for the same reason a lot of others wont be, its closed. I suppose as phone users (and possibly computer users) people tend to fall into roughly two camps. The ones whose phones (or computers) are pretty much the same as 'out of the box' after 12 months and those whose devices are barely recognisable. Im firmly with the latter camp, the ability to add or remove functionality from a device so that it suits my needs is important to me. For those who have no need/desire for this then the Iphone certainly looks like a worthy device, but as Ive said, its not for me. Oh and the final nail is the lack of 3G, bored moments surfing the web would become as pleasant as using a 14.4k modem again :)

  84. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This lemming escaped long ago

    I was given an original Mac back in November 1983 (yes, before the 1984 commercial...). I was messing with IBM PCs, using a home-built S-100 machine (five years old at the time and still useful) and building faux-Apple ][s from flat Taiwanese PCBs populated with local electronics junk store parts - good fun, and useful as instrumentation platforms in my university laboratory - the 6502 CPU was well documented and had a nice software base.

    But the lab got a Mac....

    I played with it, tried to figure out what made it work, tired to get inside the box (no-go) tried to get under the UI to see how the software was put together (no-go) then tried to do something useful with it, like make a presentation for a conference two days hence...using MacDraw.

    This was one of those Iconic Macs with a 9" mono screen, 128 k (yes, that's k, not M or G) of RAM and a 720 kByte floppy (with the original paper-clip eject feature). After two days and a long night of futzing around I had a sort-of presentation. I went to print it and....the Mac ate my disk. I went to the conference with a hand-drawn presentation and wore a paper bag over my head at the session.

    I have hated the damn things ever since.

    Over the years I have been appalled and repelled by Apple's sucessive marketing campagins. Each uses the same techniques as the Republican party (us vs. them, wedge issues, big lies, hypocrsy, you name it) I have kept on rolling, building my own boxes with whatever parts come to hand - CP/M, DOS, Linux, various flavors of Windows, and getting my job done with the tools that have come to hand. I have supported Macs in various environments (they have the same kinds of problems as any other piece of complex equipment - just with the added feature of brain-addled users, courtesy of the manufacturer...).

    When it comes down to it, a computer is a tool. It is not a lifestyle or even a lifestyle accessory. It's just a tool, a complex hammer or screwdriver, as you will.

    Just as a poor worker blames their tools, an even poorer worker praises their Apple tools, and blames everyone else for not being just like them.

    wb

  85. sleepy

    Personally, I crave the shame and self loathing only an iPhone provides

    ... but it's not available in the UK.

  86. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ban the 'iPhone' term already... until evolution take care of it.

    The term 'iPhone' should join "mobe" "lappy" and "ICT" in the ostracism, it should be called "Apple's phone" from now on, so it won't raise another flame wars, or feed the trolls.

    Let natural selection act over it, it will be long forgotten in 2 years after release, just like the Spice Girls.

    If it works, it will be remembered and used many years after its release. I still have my Motorola E398, not because of its MP3 abilities, but because it works as a cell phone!

    Lots of people refused Vista for now, because XP works better. Other lot of people turned to Linux altogether, because they believe M$ sucks anyway. BTW, Linux itself has been around for a long time, many believed it would be just a temporal hype.

    The way I see it, only the most devoted Zealots will keep their iPhones for posterity, everybody else will move on to other devices if they work better.

    I guess I will wait until Apple's Phone 2.0.

    P.S. I didn't buy the dreaded thing. I wouldn't be able to unlock it here anyway.

  87. madgunde

    Re: One more thing

    Eric said:

    "Hi i posted something earlier in the comment string. I had and have no beef with the reasons for the El Reg "journalist" returning the phone. Bad internet speed / coverage, fingers too big - fine.

    It's just the comments like "you're just one of the lemmings..." etc that are just sooo El Reg vs. Apple. I simply meant to point out that this would never happen with any other company's product and the register. If thousands lined up and bought a puke-green halo edition xbox360 - well they're perfectly well adjusted enthusiastic gamers. If you pranced around 3 years ago with a brand new $500 Razr - well you appreciate good phones with a nice form factor. I could go on and on..."

    My sentiments exactly. There are idiots on both sides, and the over generalized anti-Apple user comments are proof of this. Just because you don't like it, doesn't mean everyone else who does is a mindless lemming. Funny thing is, there as many (if not more) Apple bashers on this forum than Apple fanboys. Ironic that the bashers are bitching that there are so many fanboys.

    Grow up people and realize that spewing over-generalized insults is a surefire way to lose any and all credibility.

  88. Marco

    One paragraph

    I just needed to read the first paragraph to think "goodness, this will turn into iSheep going crazy because someone criticized the one true religion".

    And looking at the number of comments and reading them, my expectation has been fulfilled.

    If there is one thing you can count on, than it's the rancor of Apple fanatics.

  89. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Apple

    There is only one company I can think of that's more proprietry than Apple, and that's Sony. MS from Win98 onwards has done wonders for bringing (cheap) computing to the masses. XP is a pretty good product. Its easy to use and is pretty stable.

    Vista... what a pile of rubbish.

    Why do you Apple fans bury your heads in the sand? "Because its Apple, it must be good". Grow up. It has its good points, it has its bad.

    I would never buy an ipod (I hate the proprietry itunes). I have bought a Creative Zen Vision M. As much as I hate Apple, the wheel is probably a better control for an MP3 play.

  90. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Batteries again. Really?

    ---

    No article on such a battery operated device is complete without noting that:

    1. You cannot replace the batteries yourself

    2. Apple wants $85 to replace the batteries, and

    3. The batteries are not guaranteed to work for the life of the 2 year minimum contract you sign to use the device

    ---

    I've owned several cell phones, and never once bought a battery. Why would I care if I could change the battery on a cell phone? Never have, never will.

  91. Steve

    Vituperative but utterly lacking in comprehension skills

    Scanning this mountain of flamage once again, I have to pick out a couple of quotes that nicely illustrate the utter sadness of the Cult of Jobs. For instance :

    "Sounds like a bunch of MS fanboys to me."

    "All I ever hear is how badly Macs/iPods/iPhones suck by MS fansheep "

    At no point in the responses to the article has anyone, at any point, waved the flag for Microsoft. I'm personally not sure there is even any such thing as an MS fanboy, but that's really not the point.

    The point is that you iKoolAid drinkers are now at the point where you are responding not to what you are reading on the screen, but to things that **you have imagined**

    This displays either a worrying lack of comprehension skills, proving that the most vocal among you are poorly educated or simply stupid, or a more disturbing mental problem, proving that you are a bunch of drooling basket cases who should be locked away somewhere for the protection of your host society.

    Either way, you aren't doing yourselves (or Apple) any favours. For one thing, the more you display your tendency to melt down in an increasingly incoherent stream of flamage, the more people will goad you for the sheer fun of watching it. Or is that just me ?

    And to the Anonymous Coward who posted that second quote, if that really is all you ever hear, you **really** need to get out more. Talk to some people IRL, if you can stop drooling for long enough.

  92. Christopher

    Re: Apple

    "MS from Win98 onwards has done wonders for bringing (cheap) computing to the masses. XP is a pretty good product. Its easy to use and is pretty stable."

    Are you on drugs? MS has done zip to bring cheap computing to the masses. MS creates substandard software, then charges a butt-load for it. Try reading a book before making idiotic statements like that.

    "As much as I hate Apple, the wheel is probably a better control for an MP3 play."

    So you are now just TOLERATING the wheel now? (ROTFLMAO -- ho f*ck!!!)

  93. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    To kode:

    Unfortunately, the linux fanboys are even worse than the mac fanboys. If you are going to switch, switch to FreeBSD http://www.freebsd.org/ which is not only better, but doesn't suffer from the same fanboys

  94. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I love the iReasoning

    If you want to replace a battery, you're just not the right kind of person!

  95. Neil Anderson

    Lucky for me

    I have hands the size of a 12-year-old so it'll be easy to type on that teensy iPhone keyboard. And I fit inside sexy little Italian sports cars pretty good too. :)

  96. Andrew Moore

    Duh...

    Lack of 3G doesn't only make the iPhone not future-proof, it doesn't even make it present-proof.

  97. Josh

    If this thread proves anything

    It proves how many fucking tools read El Reg. It's hard to tell who's more fanatical, the fanbois or the fanboi haters.

  98. Kevin Thomas

    @David Corbett

    Hi David, If you're going to use my name in a slanging match...at least have the decency to check your spelling.

    So let's go through this line at a time.

    >No, Ben - *you* are the fucking idiot, (along with pierrenorman, Ray

    >Boehmer, Frank Bough, Tevin Thomas, and several others).

    I didn't once call you or anyone else on here a name...so I'll await your apology only I think you've probably had an aneurysm writing that last sentence.

    >HE ONLY BOUGHT THE PHONE SO HE COULD REVIEW IT FOR THE

    >REG. (is that so difficult a concept for you muppets to grasp?).

    Muppets, hmm...intelligent. I think we all realised that he bought the phone to review it. The point being that isn't there enough people in the world who have already reviewed it and commented on the 1st Gen being a bit crap. He's wasted his own money to basically give the same review as others.

    However, that aside. I'm sure the author didn't really need two weeks to come to the decisions that he did about the product. He really could have just sat in the apple store and toyed with the phone to realise that his fingers were too big for the keyboard, and as for AT&T sucking the big one...surely that would have been known prior to even going for the phone in the first place?

    >And why was buying an iPhone even necessary? Because Apple threw their

    >toys out of the pram and wouldn't send them one for review.

    Can't comment on this part as I've no idea what apple did.

    >El Reg. obviously *do* have bollocks - they aren't just a bunch of fawning,

    >press release swallowing hacks. You really should be grateful for that fact.

    I'm grateful for the fact that El Reg is one of my most read websites. I use it a lot to keep up with what's going on in the IT world. However, just because someone writes a daming report on a product doesn't mean that I have to agree with it. Again, it's all down to choice.

    This particular article has been poorly constructed in terms of a "review" of a product. A review should give opinion tempered with a balanced summary of the product. The article almost managed that, but the cons cited were ones which shouldn't have taken two weeks and $111 of the authors own money (or did El Reg give him expenses?) to identify.

    If the phone was available in the UK (and being a new mac convert), I still wouldn't consider buying one until they a) came down in price, b) had reached at least 2-3 Gen. Hell, I waited 5 years before buying my first iPod!

    Next time you decide to post a retort, make sure you switch the brain into gear, and at least get peoples names right.

  99. Jason Clery

    Christopher

    "Are you on drugs? MS has done zip to bring cheap computing to the masses. MS creates substandard software, then charges a butt-load for it. Try reading a book before making idiotic statements like that."

    Unlike apple, you can stick MS on a £10 Hong Kong junker and it will pretty much work. You are not completely locked down to proprietry hardware. You can stick 3rd party components in the box, etc. Try stick mac-os on non apple hardware and prepare for the lawyers. They may do Intel now, buts appleIntel not your free choice of hardware supplier.

    "So you are now just TOLERATING the wheel now? (ROTFLMAO -- ho f*ck!!!)"

    where did this statement come from? You asked if I was on drugs. What part of "the wheel is probably a better control for an MP3 play." did that tiny little brain of yours miss?

    It was said "The point is that you iKoolAid drinkers are now at the point where you are responding not to what you are reading on the screen, but to things that **you have imagined**"

    and that holds true

  100. Simon

    Worst article ever

    I like to read the Register for its witty and intelligent articles. However was this one supposed to be a form of trolling? It's *just* a phone.

  101. digger

    Fanboys and iHype over iShite

    It's the first time I've heard the term Fanboy - though the representation of them in the comments here is fairly true. Zealot etc is also reasonably fair - I've had the misfortune to speak to some of these deranged individuals in the past and the conversations I've had with them generally don't go much further than some polished white device they may happen to have.

    The marketing mans dream - you sell a computer/mp3/mobile as a lifestyle choice, you have to be shitting me !

    A computer does a job - as does a phone. An mp3 player plays music - now most audio reviews I've seen are of the opinion that iShite is pretty poor in terms of audio quality. It's a shame really given that there was an opportunity to do something new and innovative - never mind it will all be forgotten as the next round of iHype over the next bag of iShite can only be months away...

  102. Adam

    First Generation?

    I've noticed a lot of posts here referring to the iPhone as a "first gen" product... it's not. It would only be a "first gen" product if it was in the first generation.

    The iPhone is a smartphone, it doesn't expand the role or capability of the smartphone, it is comparable with other smartphones of today and thus is of the same "generation". I would say we are on the third or fourth generation of smartphones, but don't hold me to that. So, the iPhone SHOULD be as glitch-free and mature as the other smartphones in order to be competitive. Of course, they'll sell regardless, Apple products always do!

    Anyway, have I missed the article that explains why they are allowed to call it the iPhone? Last I heard on that issue was the company who owned the iPhone name weren't budging.

  103. Gilbert Wham

    Tools...

    My Whitworth spanners are _intrinsically better_ than your metric spanners, even thought they are both used on different nuts. See? Stupid, innit, when moved to a different context? Oh, except for what that one feller said about the Amiga. He's absolutely right, and I'll fight anyone who says different...

  104. Clay Garland

    Well, I have not problems.

    I have absolutely no problems with the iPhone. I can type very quickly, and I have rather large, sausage like fingers. The lack of 3G is not an issue as I am never too far away from a wireless network working in a hotel. THe only time I'm on Edge really is in my car, and then I MIGHT, press the stock ticker to see where my investments are while I'm at a stop light. Here's a news flash. . . Nobody gives a shit if you don't like the iPhone. How about you give us a substantiative article that tells us of ACTUAL problems with the phone, not things that you don't like because you're to goddamn cool to like them. Call me a fanboy, you are certainly entitled to your opinions, but I'm typing this on a Toshiba. It's just that this article pisses me off for being hollow drivel, not because it insults a product that I happen to use and like.

  105. Eric

    re: Tools..

    I couldn't agree more. Particularly when it comes to the nostalgic Amiga love. :)

  106. Joe Lamb

    I would like to (the) register a complaint

    I was introduced to the register not too long ago by a friend. I was quite pleased with what I saw, maybe this site offers a fresher look at tech. Honest reviews, by actual people rather than a twisted press? I was wrong.

    Do The Register's journalists (and I use that term with very little weight) not converse with each other? Is there no consultation as to what the site's base opinion should be of a company or product or movement? While it is correct and human for all of you (the staff) to have a different opinion, it seriously lowers the public view of your website if people cannot decide one way or the other what your organisation actually thinks? It is your job to put out a message which is evaluated rather than opinionated. How can you expect to be taken seriously when your colleague reviews the iPhone at 90% while you slate the iPhone -after frankly not really trying it out for long enough - and create this pointless article about somebody getting a refund? You fly in the face of what almost every reputable (that is, it's journalists adhere to their job description) news site and tech journal is saying about the iPhone, that it is the best iPod to date. It also happens to make phone calls and performs some basic phone functions in an extremely innovative way. It is a first generation product with faults. I am amazed that the register even disagrees with itself, which I find to be distinctly unprofessional.

    I will continue to read your website and will no doubt continue to be disgusted by the way in which such an international zine can be orchestrated in such a 'university newsletter' way. Buy a suit and get organised.

  107. Steve

    Laughed my ass off.

    "I will continue to read your website and will no doubt continue to be disgusted by the way in which such an international zine can be orchestrated in such a 'university newsletter' way." "

    Well, y'know, like, why ? If I don't like the taste of something, I'm not going to keep eating it am I ? Unless you are some kind of masochist, why not piss off and read something more bland and innofensive ?

    "Buy a suit and get organised."

    OK, you are that kind of masochist, fair enough, carry on.

  108. conan

    Good Article

    I think this is a perfectly reasonable article. Here's what I got from it:

    The author bought an iPhone (yes, he stood in line, which is a bit silly - but all for review purposes, so understandable), and used it for a couple of weeks. The interface is great and it looks nice, which does matter to a certain degree - sure, it's silly to buy such an expensive product just because it looks nice, but looks do play a part in most things we buy, and that doesn't make us all just idiots with no nous. The network in the US isn't too good, which I've heard from friends who live there, and this is a problem. In Europe that might not be so bad, so I won't worry too much myself (I live there). Returning the product in the US cost the author 10%, which to my mind is completely unacceptable - if that happened to me in the UK I'd be in the small claims court before the shop shut. Most importantly of all though, it wasn't worth the price. Given that I get a new, unlocked phone every year with my contract, paying anything close to $500 for a phone seems silly. It doesn't make the author an Apple-hater, it doesn't make El Reg a terrible website, it's just another article reviewing an experience of a product. I'll read several other reviews before buying, as I would recommend every customer does for products of such high value. No need to get upset about it, and I quite enjoy the discussion that these types of articles prompt.

  109. DrXym Silver badge

    Let's face it, the iPhone is overpriced and underfeatured

    Anyone who bought an iPhone is a chump. There is no other way to say it. $600 its a stretch but $600 + $1400 contract? Apple must be splitting their sides at all the fools who fell for that one. I wonder how many are suffering from buyers remorse, or desperately trying to convince themselves that their locked down phone with EDGE only capabilities and an outrageous monthly contract somehow represents good value.

    The funny part is you could probably buy a PDA (for skype, browsing etc.), an iPod 80Gb (for music), and a regular phone on a cheaper contract and still save money on the iPhone.

  110. Christopher

    @ Jason Clery RE: Christopher

    "Unlike apple, you can stick MS on a £10 Hong Kong junker and it will pretty much work. You are not completely locked down to proprietry hardware. You can stick 3rd party components in the box, etc. Try stick mac-os on non apple hardware and prepare for the lawyers. They may do Intel now, buts appleIntel not your free choice of hardware supplier."

    Which simply proves my point. MS has had NOTHING to do with bringing cheap computing to the masses. The 'cloning' of the PC did. MS still charges an enormous amount to apply its OS to any of these '£10 Hong Kong junkers'. Same holds true for the Frankenstein computers people cobble together in dark grubby shops. Recently, the addition of a myriad of flavours of Linux has also started to shift the cost of cheap computing. (See: OLPC) As far as Apple is concerned, nobody in their right mind would associate Apple and cheap computing as a legacy statement, so that is a non-starter.

    Re: Wheel. Read your comments again:

    "I would never buy an ipod (I hate the proprietry itunes). I have bought a Creative Zen Vision M. As much as I hate Apple, the wheel is probably a better control for an MP3 play."

    Now that sounds like you have ACCEPTED the use of the wheel as a better control device -- in spite of the fact Apple uses it it in all of it's iPods. Fact is, we've had the wheel as a control device (in one form or another) for decades. The first example I can think of is the radio tuning dial -- there may have been others. I have also seen the wheel being used in electronics to control a vast amount of actions on amps, pre-amps, receivers, and various other audio devices for decades. Yes it is a better solution -- and you don't have to cut your nose off to spite your face and hate Apple for it.

    I'm still ROTFLMAO!

  111. John

    Author loses credibility with snippy remarks

    Much of the article content is sensible, but the author shoots himself in the foot with throw-away comments about "lemmings".

    That's why the fanboys don't like it - because it shows bias, and meaningless bias at that. How does buying a very expensive phone make you a lemming? Bad money manager, maybe. But not lemming.

    iPhone is expensive, has a mediocre data network behind it and will have "new tech" problems like rev 1 of any complex product. But if nothing else Apple has almost singlehandedly raised the bar for phone user interfaces.

    For that they have my everlasting gratitude, regardless of whether or not I ever buy an iPhone.

  112. Jason Clery

    Christopher

    Calm down dear, its only a machine. No need to get worked up about it.

    As I said, stick mac-os on non-mac hardware, broadcast the fact, then count the seconds until the lawyers come and get yoy.

    "MS still charges an enormous amount to apply its OS to any of these '£10 Hong Kong junkers'" and Apple doesnt change an enourmous amount for its OS and hardware?

    From Apple

    cheapest imac: £680

    From ebuyer same processor PC £360. with double the HDD, double the RAM, 11 in 1 card reader and 1 year collect and return warranty (no taking it to the "genius" bar, of/when it blows up) and a better graphics card.

    Add another £100 for a 17 screen, and £40 for a camera and wireless card.

    £180 cheaper.

    " As far as Apple is concerned, nobody in their right mind would associate Apple and cheap computing as a legacy statement, so that is a non-starter"

    I appreciate that you want to be seen as "elite", and bully for you. Like I said MS brought computing to the masses, Apple didn't.

  113. Christopher

    @ Jason Clery

    (yawn)

    ""MS still charges an enormous amount to apply its OS to any of these '£10 Hong Kong junkers'" and Apple doesnt change an enourmous amount for its OS and hardware?"

    Well considering this is extremely off-topic at this point, I will close by saying that Vista OS variants (£179.99-£294.97) are going to be more expensive (retail box versions) than OS X (£89.00). Even more so in the case of Linux. Of course you know this, but you just want to p!ss around with your little numbers game. Suit yourself. As far as Apple hardware pricing is concerned, much of their product line is inline with the major NAME-BRAND manufacturers. And of course we know that Apple's OS X hardware can run Vista, XP, Linux -- you name it -- so just what would be a better value buy again? Let me see: One piece of homemade crapware box that runs an overpriced piece of Windows bloatware, or: one well designed piece of equipment running Unix and just about any other OS you may also like to use. I'll take the 3-in-1 over the 1 out of 3. You know this too, but choose to ignore it.

    Jason, the rest of your rebuttal is pure shite.

    /(yawn)

  114. Jason Clery

    congratulations

    congratulations, you win, I yield. I agree that Apple is not for the masses only the elite like yourself.

  115. Jason Clery

    el Reg anti Apple pro MS

    To the Apple fans who claim the Reg is anti-Apple pro MS

    "Microsoft Windows patent will spy for advertisers"

    The Reg is anti shoddy companies/practices/gear which MS and Apple (and others) fit into

  116. Josh

    historical revisionism

    "MS brought computing to the masses, Apple didn't."

    Oh really?

    http://www.vernier.com/caliper/fall06/images/apple_ii_large.jpg

  117. Jim

    Title

    @Jason Clery

    "congratulations, you win, I yield. I agree that Apple is not for the masses only the elite like yourself."

    An interesting response when presented with numbers that demonstrate that Apple computers are actually comparable in price to major brand PCs of the same spec. I think the following could be applied to you also - "The point is that you iKoolAid drinkers are now at the point where you are responding not to what you are reading on the screen, but to things that **you have imagined**"

    As for the article, it was very informative though got hopelessly hung up on peer pressure. When I read it I got the impression that the author felt that there were niggling hardware problems, a fairly major network problem but the most important issue was that he felt like a dick for owning one. The iPhone has been severly over-hyped but also severly counter-hyped and most of these comments can be attributed to these two actions.

  118. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Rupert

    "Apple has broken the networks' control...."

    You can't change the sodding SIM in it, it's LOCKED IN! The networks must have creamed their underwear at the thought of getting this one out the door. It's the one thing they can sell that makes them completely immune from being told to shove their crappy service where the sun shineth not.

    You'll be trying to convince us that the RIAA are actually working towards the demise of DRM next.....

    Oh, and to the anonymous guy who replied to kobe, maybe he should also try SuSe. That *really* pisses the real Linux zealots off 'cos of the MicroSnot deal and it's a bloody good distro :-)

    TeeCee

  119. george

    why even bother

    with any technology. Lets just slag off Apple because they lit a fire under the arses of the mobile phone makers, Microshite and all the Reg's other beloveds. Can i get a job with you so you will pay me to buy the latest bit of tech kit and return it so I can write you an article about how my greasy fingers left smutz on the screen. I'll be sure and order a big bucket o kentucky Fried expensed for my overtime work as well. Should have dropped it and made sure it didnt bounce.

    Yes any piece of over-hyped bling is probably not worth owning. What a waste this capitalist system where any bit of new consumer product is just a bit of evil marketed to us lemmings by evil corporations. I guess the Reg was founded by those original IBMers programed to criticize the original Apple OS....oh who wants graphics, and the colour, and that mouse thing will never be able to be mastered by the keyboard typists, icons whats it all for.. and of course it was stolen from Xerox which proves their sinister motives.

    Guess I'll just stick with XP the last OS anyone will ever need or want and my trusty green screen TDMA mobile. Cheers.

  120. Don

    It's NOT a review!!!!!one

    Since damn near everybody missed it, please read the header on the article again. It wasn't a review, but a commentary.

    He was commenting on HIS experience IRL with the phone. Way different than a review. He did an initial review and gave the iPhone a good score. Then lived with it for a while and decided he disliked the effect on his life and the people around him.

    Fanbois: Step back and look at the article for what it is, not what you want it to be.

  121. Jerroyd moore

    The good, the bad, and the ugly--or just the bad?

    You know, it's one thing to write a review about a product, such as the iPhone, and it's another to flame it and degrade your readers. The difference between the two is that in a review, you judge the product as a whole: giving a good rating on the look and feel, a bad one on the keyboard, a decent on on the iPod features, etc. A flame is where a fanatic writer goes off on a tangent that no one really cares about that serves spread negative propaganda that enflames advocates and enboldens haters. I've read several "reviews," and agreed and disagreed on their points of view on the "good, bad, and ugly" of iPhone (See, I can think for myself, I actually have an opinion other than apple!) This kind of writing doesn't really enspire enlightenment or change one's opinion. It only serves to show what kind of writer you are.

  122. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    BSD fanboys?

    "Unfortunately, the linux fanboys are even worse than the mac fanboys. If you are going to switch, switch to FreeBSD http://www.freebsd.org/ which is not only better, but doesn't suffer from the same fanboys"

    ... you're talking about the same team that said "Linux is a cheap hack made out of cheap hack lame patchovers" ??? Or that consider POSIX a mistake ???

    The only Linux fanboys that did annoy me were the Debianites, and I haven't heard that much of them lately.

    Those I do hear, are the MacZealots. No thanks, I will keep my Performa, which still works fine and dandy after 11 years... but I won't support a company that has encouraged abuse by their "users".

  123. Chloe

    Better than a soap opera, Maury, Judge Judy, Cops...you name it

    Just wanted to thank all you guys for entertaining me this evening, I had things i could've spent the time doing that would've been more productive but this has been good stuff...really, I couldn't stop reading all your posts...one person bashing the next, a few people being decent, overall it's been great! I'll say it before anyone else does, I'm not lacking in brain cells, I don't make a habit of watching any of those tv shows I listed. I won't lie and say I've never seen them though.

    Anyway...I'm sure someone will crack on me for this post but it's all in good fun guys, i'm just playing...gotta go, iPhone's ringing! HAHAHA

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