back to article Paris Hilton says jail term has changed her

Hot from serving a jail term for drink-driving-related offences, Paris Hilton has promised to be a better person and said she learned a lot from her "traumatic experience" behind bars. The hotel heiress told CNN's Larry King that she had been "confined for three-and-a-half weeks in a little cell" and that is was "just …


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  1. Alastair Dodd

    STOP covering the vacuous tallentless waste of protoplasm

    Please. Then maybe she'll go away and we can get on with important things like slagging of the rubbish London 2012 logo.

    On a serious note seriously it's not a tech story - it's not even a proper news story and I for one am so damn sick of the Paris coverage I'm going to vomit.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What she's learnt

    Is that Dad's money can't get you out of everything.

    Well it's a start.

  3. John Williams

    No more

    I understand that a lot of news stories you publish are not IT related but are just too good to ignore. However, and I think I echo most readers sentiments here, we are not interested about Paris bloody Hilton. Writing anything about her just lowers yourself to the level of Hello and OK type trash. Please stop...

  4. Jason


    "But, not wanting to let the side down, we at El Reg will continue with all the Paris coverage you could possibly need."

    Please don't....

  5. Ed Mozley

    What about Michael Moore?

    Why was he sidelined so we could listen to this nonsense?!

  6. Lloyd


    It's not a tech story, it's not even a story about someone with an IQ higher than 50, just ignore this car crash of a human being and focus on the important things in life.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    RE: Stop...

    When I don't want to read an article about Paris Hilton, I tend not to click on links with her name in the title. Practice selective clicking, it's good for you!

  8. Alex

    23 days without email would KILL me.

    Its good to see the Reg following the tried and true media track of a stroy about Paris Hilton immediately followed by some dweeb banging on about how they are sick of reading about her. I for one, can't read enough about her. I think she is really hot, sounds quite bright and I really like her album. I'd be happy if there were a great many more girls around the place who were just like her.

    Then again, I am not a sexually repressed virgin, so I am not afraid to say that.

  9. Mike Campbell


    Why doesn't someone do something about this talentless wench who keeps imposing herself on our variosu media outlets?

    She's got a crap nose, crap tits, and a face which screams "SLAP ME I'M A DICK". She's got the personality of a Farley's rusk, the charisma of a rotweiller's bottom, and the intelligence of the sparrow that just flew into our window.

    In short, she's a blight on the gene pool and should be removed from the evolutionary process.

  10. Nik Peltekakis


    dont watch TV. I thankfully dont know about all this; and I feel much better for it!

    Ignorance in this case is bliss!


  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not another Paris Hilton story!

    Aren't there any more interesting stories? Such as the Spice Girls reuni


    More Paris Hilton please!

  12. Michael Sheils

    You are letting the side down

    "But, not wanting to let the side down, we at El Reg will continue with all the Paris coverage you could possibly need."

    Don't you understand the exact amount of coverage we need about this oxygen thief is ZERO.

    The only time I want to read about this person is the story that involves her, a wrecked car and permanent disfigurement.

  13. Jason Croghan

    I agree about dropping this ****.....

    Ya these Paris stories are going a little OTT lately. I mean even if the cause is that El Reg's editor happens to be a big "fan" of our little stropy heiress there is absolutely no need to report on what she had for breakfast every day!

  14. Dan

    Breast awareness?!

    "raise awareness for many great causes" including breasts"

    No change there then...

  15. Andrew Moore

    What's she's learnt

    That not even great-granddads money can get you out of everything

  16. Konstantinos


    i bet she had worst on that swallowing subject

  17. Chris Pasiuk

    Learned? Heh, not nearly enough.

    I work for a county corrections department and I'm telling you from what I know she got preferrential treatment from day one. The female population is about 1/10th the size of the male in any jail, and she was kept in solitary the whole time. This being her 2nd offense on a DUI, a mere 45 days is the absolute minimum for most. Here in Pennsylvania, it's usually 4 months manditory for a 2nd offense within 10 years. If she was able to hang out with her fellow inmates she would have an opportunity to learn something if not the very least that she's more fortunate than some and to gain a bit more humility. Lady Justice is supposed to be blind and to weigh the punishment with the crime. With her, Justice was peaking.

    I've known dogs smarter than Paris Hilton... and in tribute to blue-collar comdian Ron White, "You can't fix stupid"

  18. Glyn Heatley

    Mystery Meat?

    The tortured starlet said she struggled to enjoy the "jail slop" food served up. Apparently the baloney sandwiches she was given for lunch contained "mystery meat" which she described as "really scary".

    I never heard Her Royal Trampiness complain about all of the "mystery meat" she was getting in that video. I thought she said something like, "give me more you Viking Warrior" and "give it to me like an Arab Stallion". Sounds like she likes a bit of mystery meat to me.

  19. Ian Matthews

    Mystery meat hard to swallow ?

    I doubt she's had that trouble before

  20. Chris

    Damn right it's not a tech story!

    And that's why the Reg added the "Entertainment" section to Odds & Sods.

    Please continue covering stupid Yankee sods as well as sods like Campbell from your side of the pond. The biting sarcasm makes it readable and allows me an outlet for socialization with the non-technical world.

    *slithers back under his rock*

  21. Gav

    Register becomes Heat

    When did The Register become one of those worthless rags fixated on 'celeb' stories? Is there an IT angle to this pointless non-entity that non-one else has noticed yet?

  22. Dillon Pyron

    Jail house conversions

    Jail house conversions are a dime a dozen. They usually last about 6 months after getting out of the jug. Having served the tremendous term of 23 days, I'm willing to put her conversion at around 2 weeks. The only ones I've seen stick are some Muslim conversions and death row inmates.

  23. Pete

    Please stop...

    This is an IT news site, not Heat magazine.

  24. Morely Dotes

    Who is Paris Hilton? And it's buffalo.

    Who is this drunken slut bimbo you mention called "Paris Hilton?" Other than having been born wealthy, what has she ever done that is worthy of being mentioned in the news?

    An the "mystery meat" she got in the pokey is called "buffalo" because that's the critter who grew it.

  25. Martin H Watson

    More Paris please

    She's so banal that I find her entertaining. She may be from the depths of a murky gene puddle, but she makes me laugh. You couldn't make up her life.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And what about the "I've never done drugs" claim?

  27. Gaz

    What has she ever done?

    Only give some of us repressed IT types another excuse to moan :P

    Sick of reading about her? Just... erm... stop? Its not like a vulture dragged you into the "Entertainment" section and picked at your remains until you read it

  28. Player_16

    This week in the news...


    Paris Hilton

    Tony Blair



  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Undermining your own words...

    "sounds quite bright ... I am not a sexually repressed virgin"

    Liar. She's as thick as one short plank, and transparently so, and you're deceiving yourself quite pathetically because you fancy her. She is not a real person in your life, she is someone you will never meet nor have any kind of social interaction with whatsoever, and having a crush on her is as immature as fancying Lara Croft or any other fictional character.

    Wanking over internet porn doesn't make you not a virgin you know, in fact it doesn't even make you not repressed!

    In the meantime, all the whiners who complain about frivolous articles should really be having a go at themselves, for being so stupid as to click on the link and then read the article, I mean if you don't want to read it, just don't read it, nobody but you can control what your hands do with your mouse and which direction your eyes are pointed in.

  30. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Paris in the Spring Time/Quantum Leap Zone.

    ""But, not wanting to let the side down, we at El Reg will continue with all the Paris coverage you could possibly need."

    I'm sure that there must be a Register stalwart would could ably ensure the Coverage of Ms Hilton was a Vital rehabilitation and reprogramming.

    "Who is this drunken slut bimbo you mention called "Paris Hilton?" ..... I think that's you off her Xmas list, Morely Dotes. Not a SMART Move when a woman is Hunting... "But, not wanting to leave the men out of her big comeback chat, Hilton added that the husband of her dreams "is out there somewhere"."

    So all you Viking Stallions and Arabian warriors....SMARTen Up your Acts. Paris is looking for a dreamer who is out there somewhere.

    IT could be you! B-)

    If she is a Quick Learner, IT would suggest that she is XXXXStreamly SMART2. Slow Starter, Quick at the Finish would be Perfect for Some.

    Now such with such skills would be a potent viable weapon, if militarised and/or trained in the Most Mythical and Mystical of Mysterious Arts ...... Money no Obstacle, to be sure, to be sure .:-)

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You're missing the obvious IT angle in this story....

    She's BRILLIANT compared to the guy in Dell support that overnighted us a motherboard for a newer server because it'd be an "upgrade" for us (Nevermind having a different RAID controller that can't read the data off the old array)

  32. Stephen


    Well, you had to do it. You've been writing more and more stories that have no technical angle at all....this is the last straw. One more Paris f****** Hilton article and I will never bother comming back to theregister.

    Biting the hand that feeds IT.....not any more.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hilton is a troll

    And like all trolls what needs to happen is that people deny her the attention she so craves so she can go and hassle someone else.

    If you must write about her at least call her by her title "Notorious drug addicted slapper Paris Hilton" but preferably just forget her.

  34. Marco

    The entity Hilton

    When I first heard about Paris Hilton, I wondered why a hotel is referred to as a person.

    These days I do can make the connection between the bricks the hotel is composed of and Ms. Hilton.

  35. Carlos

    Money can't buy justice?

    Poor Paris can't buy her way out of a jail term? Hahaha. In Australia poor little rich kids don't go to jail. The average Joe would get locked up for 12 months minimum pulling a stunt like this - whereas this joker gets 200 hours of community service, cause his daddy can afford a murder* of QCs! Maybe Paris needs some better lawyers who know what the job of judging is all about.

    PS Paris is my dream girl. OK looking, rich as a sheik, thick as two short planks, not shy of a video camera, and best of all she's the sort of girl that would likely find me disgusting. How could it ever get any better?

    *don't know if the collective noun for QCs (Queen's Counsels) is murder or unkindness - an unkindness of QCs has a certain ring to it.

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The U*S*A's Mona Lisa

    Guys, pretend for a second that you don't yearn for another glimpse at Paris's naughty but slightly off-kilter smile, or lust for her lithe, oily hips. Time to get back in touch with your natural manly propensity for barely ripe fruit, or get therapy for letting the obscenity of late civilization ruin all the fun for you.

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Please continue !

    The very best of all these Paris Hilton (gasp! can't believe I wrote the name of this little sweetie) stories are the comments. At least I can learn some new vocabulary.

    So I'd like to call out to El Reg: keep going...

  38. Chris Barrett

    Oh, I am sorry...

    I appear to have joined a Fark forum by mistake.....

  39. Luke

    No IT angle...

    ...and yet, Paris stories get the most comments - if you really don't want to read about her DON'T CLICK THE LINK, YOU UTTER TONSILS, AND DON'T, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY, FEEL OBLIGATED TO COMMENT. REPEATEDLY.

    Paris stories are as much a part of the Reg as Punctuated! Yahoo! headlines! and Captain Cyborg stories so get over it. On top of colours for satire, we should perhaps have another colour (pink, say) so that the humour-challenged would know to avoid such stories. However, saying that, these sort of people would go "ooooh, pink, pretty..." and click anyway...

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I have been compelled to sign up and make a comment.... I for one dont understand all these moaners who complain about the coverage Paris gets here on El Reg... for the love of God just dont click on any story that vaguely (correct spelling?) alludes to her....

    as for Paris herself there is something sexy about the fact that she isn't quite perfect in both the looks and the brains ( okay bit of an understatement, but hey makes her more gullible) dept...

    C'mon Reg bring on more Paris stories and if you can find some, how about her socialite buddy Kim Kardashian (Google her)

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    "Alas, her jail term is over now, and the 26-year-old blonde star, who admitted to King that she had "been a little immature in the past", now plans to "raise awareness for many great causes" including breasts and kids."

    Wow! I never realised that there was a need to raise awareness of breasts! And when so many celebrities are already working to raise awareness on a regular basis - including many who are far better equipped to do so....

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