back to article Lester Haines: RIP

It is with incredible sadness that El Reg must report that Lester Haines, one of our finest story-tellers and an all-round good bloke, passed away on Monday. We have published his obituary, The Life and Times of Lester Haines. Lester, who was 55, died of a heart attack at his home in Spain. He will be cremated on Friday 17 …

Angel

Ashes to ashes

Believe it we must

A wee part of me

Has just turned to dust

Thank-you Lester, from all your fans, amen.

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Farewell Lester

I'll be raising a glass or 5 to your memory, whilst going through some of your stories.

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RIP Lester. My condolances to family and friends. The good ones always seem to be taken too young.

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So long...

And thanks for all the articles.

----

Condolences & good wishes to his friends and family.

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Nothing to add...

I can't add anything relevant or meaningful to what has been already said so eloquently by others...

Condolences to family, friends and colleagues.

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No way

He'll be sorely missed, enjoyed a lot of his stuff. condolences to family and colleagues

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Rip Lester

Go get some rest. Your stories will be missed

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SKC

RIP Lester. You're really going to be missed around here.

Condolences to his family and also to the wider El Reg family.

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R.I.P. Lester

He will be sorely missed. My condolences to his family.

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A great man

He'll be sorely missed.

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RIP

Perhaps LOHAN should deliver a small portion of his ashes into orbit, so he could continue to smile down on us?

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ufk

A genuine loss.

Thank you Lester for bringing a little daily light and laughter into my life for the past 15 years. R.I.P.

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RIP Lester

Condolences to Lester' s family, friends and all at El Reg.

As others have mentioned Lester's articles have kept me coming back to the Register for many years. What no one has mentioned is his overall impact on GDP.

Even whilst reading the comments in this article I got side tracked into an reading an article on haggis pakora and sent a colleague a link to the April fools sysadmins colouring book.

No doubt he'll pass that on and half the team will lose another half-hour to Lester's incredible talent.

He will be sadly missed.

I too will be raising a glass to Lester this evening. RIP Old Chap though we never met I too feel I have lost a friend.

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Unhappy

Re: RIP Lester

You have said it better than I could.

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Oh arse biscuits

Really shitty news. One of the few true classy Reg journo's. I think SPB and PostPub Neckfillers were truly superb, and I will miss them deeply - even if someone steps into Lester's shoes, they will be far too big.

This on top of my local MP 3 miles from my office. Worrying also that I am very very close to 55 myself - makes me consider my habits and choices.

My GNU Clacks line is now longer, Lester has joined PTerry. No-one at work knows, but *I* do.

Fly high, fly far, Lester.

David

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Oh arse biscuits

"Close to 55" - That's young enough to forget about it for a while. At 63 1/2 and 2 years older than my dad at his demise, how do you think I feel?

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Re: Oh arse biscuits

➤ curl -v -q -o /dev/null http://www.theregister.co.uk/ 2>&1 | grep Clacks

< X-Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett, Lester Haines

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What a very sad piece of news :( RIP Mr Haines The world is a much poorer place for you passing. I hope someone will pick up the torch of damn silly and awesomely Special Projects and see LOHAN finally take to the skies in your honour !

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Bugger, damn and blast

RIP Mr Haines. A Master of mirth and silliness.

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oh man :(

This was a depressing thing to log into on a currently raining like crap Friday at a workplace that is being outsourced to the Cognizant monster. It would not be wrong to say sod it and go to the pub for a pint would it? I appreciate it's 10 am but if it's not wrong for pubs to serve beer, it can't be wrong for me to drink it. Right? Right.

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MnM

Balls

That's really not on. He was great.

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Unhappy

Wow. 55 is practically nothing these days.

Damm.

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RIP

Hopefully Lester is not now a Bastard Operator In Hell. I'm told that down there they put tomato sauce on the bacon sandwiches instead of brown. Or as others would have it, both brown sauce and tomato sauce are available, but whichever you want the other one comes out of the squeezy bottle.

(If you like both, you get mayonnaise.)

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Anonymous Coward

RIP

I loved the LOHAN articles and that sandwich one.

RIP - will be missed.

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R.I.P

Thank you Lester for the countless articles I have enjoyed over the years. Condolences to your family and friends.

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RIP

I have thoroughly enjoyed El Reg's Spanish flavour. Lester will be sadly missed by his readership.

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RIP Lester

I haven't got much to add, I just wanted to let Lester's friends and family know that his wit, work and humanity were appreciated by many, and that he will be sadly missed even by those of us who never met him.

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Goodbye Lester

Terrible news, I'd like to send my condolences to Lester's family and all his colleagues at The Register. He will be missed by us all.

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Wouldn't let me post by mobile yesterday

Was out watching the Eng Wales game yesterday when my better half text me to say she had heard about Lester. Very sad made me all the more proud I was wearing the 419 t-shirt that he designed at the time.

We met once in a pub from the town he grew up in and I had moved to. I knew his brother and we all went out for a pint. We got on to chatting about jobs and he said he worked for an IT news site. I went through about 4 other journalists that wrote here before I got to his name and he was astounded that he'd met someone that bought something he'd done. Great night, great and funny man I will miss his articles. RIP Lester my thoughts are with your friends and family.

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Re: Wouldn't let me post by mobile yesterday

Thank you for you kind words.

Did you meet up in Faversham with Les?

I am his nephew so the brother you know might be my dad

Sean Haines

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Re: Wouldn't let me post by mobile yesterday

Hi Sean,

It was indeed in Faversham. Ashley, myself and your uncle had a few jars & lots of laughs in the Chimney Boy as it was called then. One memorable evening despite the jars, it was a pleasure to have spent, albeit brief, that time in his company.

Sorry for your loss but please know that he was loved by many. I have chuckled to many bootnotes stories only to see afterwards it was another one from Lester.

Kind regards

Jim

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Re: Wouldn't let me post by mobile yesterday

Hi Jim

Ashley is my dad. I will pass on your condolences

Sean

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I am so gutted by this news. I never got to meet Lester, but we regularly exchanged emails and he was every bit as funny, spiky and blindingly quick witted as his articles. He made me laugh - and for that thank-you.

I can't imagine what his family are going through right now to lose someone so young, but there are thousands of people who want to thank them for sharing him with us.

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RIP, Lester.

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Mushroom

Sad

God. This is not how I wanted to end my week. I may not have known you Lester, but there is no question you are a fellow I would have liked to meet down at the local, had circumstances somehow made that possible. Through the unique style and wit that characterised your articles, I feel like I knew you Lester--such is the odd relationship between celebrities, writers and their public. We never really believe that the people we know, personally or at a distance, could just not be there any more.

Perhaps I am over-sentimental today because I also recently lost a loved one, so the emotions are nearer the surface and the value of human life dearer to me just now than usual.

I think I speak for all Reg readers when I say each of us has felt this as a body blow.

RIP Lester. Thank you for taking the time to lighten our days through your contributions to the Reg. Sincere condolences to your family and close friends.

The world is less one good man.

Icon because if it was Lester's time to go out, he would have wished to do so in style.

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It's a conspiracy...

I can only blame Lester's death on an unholy alliance of Strategy Boutique execs and our Robot Overlords who had finally had enough of his coruscating wit and tireless efforts to expose their relentless and now unstoppable overthrowing of all that is human and helvetica neue.

RIP Lester. You were brilliant and would have shone in any journalistic or literary environment. That you chose El Reg as your soap box is as ringing an endorsement of the site as it's possible to have. Thanks for all the laughs and my deepest condolences to your family and friends.

In other news, Playmobil shares plummeted this morning...

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Coffee/keyboard

Speechless

That is a hell of a shock

RIP Lester. I feel privileged to have met you. All the best on your future travelling amongst the stars :(

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I have no words, just thoughts for his family and friends. I'm so sorry.

x

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Sad news. He was a talented writer and his upbeat stories never failed to add colour to my day. As a permanent memorial to Lester I'd like to formally request that The Register sneaks the word "tomfoolery" into at least one article every week. Who's with me?

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Tragic

Everyone's said it so very well already but condolences to his family, friends and colleagues.

Pint raised in his honour today.

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To you Mr Haines, thanks for the wit, amusement and entertainment over the years.

RIP

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Fucking hell

Just checked in for my lighthearted Friday reads and saw this.

Awful news, I know us regular readersw ill be gutted by this.

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downvote?

Who the fuck downvoted Geoff May's first post?

Show and explain yourself.

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What a damned shame :( I aways loved reading his pieces.

RIP and condolences to family and friends.

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No!

Stunning news - RIP Lester, you will be sorely missed.

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I can just imagine an honour guard of playmobile figures

RIP

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RIP Lester

My life will be all the poorer for your passing. I learned all I know about digging wells from you!

Salud!

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Sodding hell

Bloody shock that. I too will miss his wit and irreverence. I hope there's a decent brewery up there.

RIP

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Farewell

I knew Lester back in days we both had the odd jar in the Wagon and Horses in Manningtree. A gentlemen and a damn good laugh, he gave me my first piece of vulture merchandise ( a baseball cap) when he started at El Reg. His articles have never failed to raise a smile. The pub has gone... and now Lester too… you will be sorely missed mate. I will raise a glass to you both this evening..

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Lester Haines R.I.P. (Re-create In Playmobil)

Goodbye, Lester,

So long and thanks for all the dioramas.

I will raise a pint to you this lunchtime,

Cheers

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