back to article Take my advice: The only safe ID is a fake ID

My name is McLeod. Graham McLeod. If you're looking me up in a list, you'll find me under M as "McLeod, Graham". This is in contrast to "Dabbs, Alistair" – which I understand is now the title of an IT publication. At least it is according to an email I received this week, which began thus: With Dabbs, Alistair​​​ having such …

TRT
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I am irritated by my friend who called her daughter Niamh, and pronounces is Nee-Mah, After I've gone to all the effort of rewiring my brain for visiting the Irish side of the family...

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Re: Also

Of course. I understand the irritation. It ought to be pronounced Nyamer.

I've met a few Neeves and Nieves by the way.

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I am irritated by my friend who called her daughter Niamh, and pronounces is Nee-Mah

There is a strong case for calling in Social Services to rescue the child from further damage.

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Names are just weird...

I've been told that the surname of "English" is most likely an Irishman, and the surname of "Irish" is most likely from England. Go figure.

Then there is what I post by. It is more unique than the real alternative, and it was a name "given" to me when I was in University. Seems to have stuck.

One should always have a couple of identities when online. It just works out better that way.

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Re: Names are just weird...

I've been told that the surname of "English" is most likely an Irishman, and the surname of "Irish" is most likely from England. Go figure.

Well, duh, obviously! How else would it work? Englishman moves to Ireland in the 17th century. Locals just call him John the Englishman. Centuries later his Irish descendants have contracted it to Sean English.

You get the same in Wales with people called Sais or Saes or Sayce. Ancestor was English. It would get very complicated if everyone in Hemel Hempstead was called English Dave or English Mary or English Jeff or even the occasional Bangladeshi Ranya.

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Is this not standard practice anymore?

I think I have about two dozen aliases, although really I only use four of them with any frequency anymore. This used to be what most people did. Has that changed?

Although I'm certainly not going change doing this. Different identities for different purposes has huge advantages, and no disadvantages. More so now than ever.

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Nice one Dabbsy

I always enjoy your articles, but this one has me laughing out loud (sorry, I mean lolling obvs).

Keep up the good work.

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once ran into a sales clerk named Yersinia. she said her mother liked the name.

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Anonymous Coward

I love your internetpage! Can I register?

Cyrus Yehosephat Bartholomew Erewan Radcliffe Theodosius Reginald Ash III here just to see if your system accommodates long names, and if you read initials. My first name only ever gets spelled properly by the natives here, my last name invariable gets mangled beyond recoginiton. People of non-local origins ( or "Forners", as I like to call visiting English speakers, unless they are British in which case I will adresss them as "Hey Brexit what are you still doing here") invariable misspell due to the capricious sprinkling of composite vowels in both my first and last name. Thanks mom & dad!

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Re: I love your internetpage! Can I register?

C.Y.B.E.R.T.R.ASH III?

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A friend claims to have gone to high school with a lad named Richard Puller. One wonders what, or if, his parents were thinking.

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JLV
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McLovin FTW

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Macbeth

You don't need to be Celtic to confuse people. My surname, Thane, is Saxon but anywhere south of Brum I'm 'Fane'. Many times I've said, 'Thane, with a Tee Aitch' and seen some southern muppet write 'Phane'. Good for call screening though, if someone asks for Mr Tanny it's an Indian call centre.

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Anonymous Coward

Is the composer's name Dvořák pronounced with a "duh" sound at the beginning. An English friend says the "d" is silent.

In modern Hebrew "ayin" is a silent letter that apparently alters the sound of the word. I was told most speakers nowadays do not differentiate between it and the sounded "aleph".

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Yeah, Ayin makes the subsequent sound come from the back of the throat. Really, I think, only used by people who came from other Middle Eastern or North African countries. Because if you're not used to it it's quite hard to do.

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"Because if you're not used to it it's quite hard to do."

A Palestinian colleague complimented me on my apparently affected pronunciation of "houmous". It didn't bother him that I learned it in Israel. For the initial letter "chet" I started with a hard-learned Afrikaans back of the throat "g" sound. Spent ages getting that sound to work reliably. That had been essential for prefixing routine greetings to Afrikaans colleagues with "goeie" (Good ...morning/evening) - or the tongue-twisting "gelukkige" (Happy/Merry ...birthday/Christmas).

A TV film critic used to take great pride in pronouncing French and Italian film titles like a native speaker. There was a film from the Middle East which retained its original title transliterated to "Kham" (which means "hot"). He just pronounced it as "Kam" - ignoring the "chet" sound completely.

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Your Editor Called To Tell Me

I’m sure he meant:

Donim, Sue

Not:

Domin, Sue

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Re: Your Editor Called To Tell Me

"D'nym, Sue" is better (IMO)

Yours,

Vic t'Itious

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I've always believed to make your fake ID 'tell it like it is". It's a Thai name actually.

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I don't get it. What is a real name? Ramatool or 'tell it like it is'?

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I can hide and use at the same time!

When you are an Alastair Campbell, it's very useful a. for hiding from most searches and b.booking restaurants. Although, it's a helluvalot easier ordering Starbucks and takeaways using 'Ali'.

But is that my real name? Now I'm not sure anymore.

As for tracking spam, buy a domain name, then use the name of the provider as the pre-@. Like vulture@mydomain.com, register@mydomain.com.

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With even the fake ID, the tasks you do online is still not hidden. So its the same thing be it the real or the fake one.

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Now that you mention it, I've just changed my registered email address for this subscription. I'll say no more. Squire.

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fake ID no good anymore...it all has to link back to govt sanctioned DBs now so you are screwed, as i am....ID stolen 12 1/2 years back and haven't been able to get so much as a bank account ever since...so you canimgaine how screwed my life is, certainly no hope of a career now even if i could get back onto the system tomorrow

Phil McKrakin

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