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We're on a roll with the caption competition and this week’s picture of a snake reading The Reg showed some great wit. Readers entered the vivarium for a chance to win a Western Digital Black, 6TB hard disk. Regular competition entrant i steal your leccy offered This is not the python tutorial i wanted!, while Ol'Peculier:The …


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  1. Down not across Silver badge

    So this is what underwired means.

  2. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge

    From the Hentai Secrets Line

    Intel announced today that it was teaming with the Great Cthulhu to produce a surprising new product: the Elder Sign Bra (Tentacles Inside™). Providing excellent support and integrated protection from Shoggoths and Elder Gods, this essential undergarment features an integrated database of countermeasures against the otherworldly.

    Available in the following styles: Eldritch, Squamous, Cyclopean, Indescribable, Unnameable, Blasphemous and the eponymous 8€™.

  3. DBarber


  4. MrNed

    I've heard of underwired bras, but this is just ridiculous.

  5. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    BOFH Moss was sure he'd sorted out the minor spontaneous combustion issue, but just to be sure he roped in one of the beancounters to activate it while he monitored from the safety of his Skype link. He lingered expectantly at the back just in case there was another "golf" incident.

  6. ingie

    she gave me a 36DDDOS and a slap across the face...

    ... i doubt she'll invite me back to do the penetration test.

  7. Ian Emery Silver badge

    The woman demonstrates the North Korean version, containing spy cameras, night-vision LEDs, and custom designed to fit Kim Jong-Un.

    (Seriously, from the photos it looks like a Soviet era torture device for women).

  8. Mk4

    ... so, before we close the meeting. To maximize the sales potential we need you to make a version for men. When can we have that?

  9. Bbbbit

    The prototype was criticised upon its release, but then all new technology has its knockers.

  10. Jos V

    Yes, we're almost ready for launch, but the marketing department is just a bit worried it will be dubbed the FondleBra by the Register and ruin our name..

  11. i steal your leccy

    Meanwhile, at McLaren HQ...

    "And as you can see, the 'Telemetry' from the new vest proves conclusively that Jenson Button is a Big Girls Blouse!"

  12. i steal your leccy

    Unveiled, Oculus Rift's 'Must Have Peripheral'

    "Now 'Gamers' can truly feel what its like to get 'Kicked In The Tits', just like Chun Li does".

  13. rsole

    Computer says, no :)

  14. DancesWithLice

    The peekaboo version runs open source.

  15. TonyA

    Smart Bra

    CUSTOMER: "I'd like a new Smart Bra for my wife please".

    SALES ASSISTANT: "Certainly Sir, what bust?"

    CUSTOMER: "Nothing really, the old one just wore out"

    (c) 1855 Bob Monkhouse

  16. Mihai

    Remote counselling

    Our sensors show you don't spend enough time in this area...

  17. Mihai

    And then the PFY made me wear this...

  18. Mihai

    It will inflate and help non-bulgarian drivers to overcome the handicap in case the sensors detect a sudden stop.

  19. Mihai

    And this VR accessory will allow you to choose an NPC and open a whole new way of playing GTA 5.

  20. Mihai

    And this is the top of the line model with a 4k nipple fish eye lens camera.

  21. Mihai

    The piezoelectric crystals allow for jiggle powered wearable devices

  22. dunbankin

    Product development conference

    "...and we're re-naming the padding 'Bloatware'."

  23. breadboard

    And to deflate, you press Windows, Start, Shutdown.

  24. John F. Jackson

    Caption Comp

    If the tock is underpants I'm switching to ARM.

  25. i steal your leccy

    Its like something outta 'Holmes & Yoyo'.

    "The Bunco Squad, the Bunco Squad, The Bunco Squad".

  26. Peter Stone

    Show me again, just what exactly has to be pressed to get the thing to reboot?

  27. icefalcon

    Latest intel storage solution goes titsup

  28. i steal your leccy

    "Get your chips out, get your chips out, get your chips out for the lads, GET YOUR CHIPS OUT FOR THE LADS!"

  29. i steal your leccy

    "Yeah, after extensive research from our focus groups, we've decided to call it The FITBITch".

  30. Kaltern

    ...and the Reg Vulture goes here.

  31. curious orange

    George Lucas lets slip there will be female stormtroopers in the new Star Wars film.

  32. curious orange

    This new technology will be a storm in a t-cup

  33. curious orange

    And now, ladies and gentlemen, a nw kind of silicon for your tits.

  34. Mehrsprachigkeit

    ... and depending on the level of heat of the user, it proceeds in order to open the vents, drop to the ground or book the nearest hotel room.

  35. url

    Jog Suit::Iot Jugs

  36. OmgTheyLetMePostInTheUK

    Is that Hillary Clinton's secret email server security system?

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "and we are working on a model that opens vents before it senses a certain level of heat and sweat."

  38. flipflopper

    Unsurprisingly, climate control bra turns out to be fanless.

  39. Werner McGoole

    To manage online security we'll be using a port knocker.

    Good plan... Keep the starboard one as a backup!

  40. Colin 27

    Techies in uproar when misunderstanding Intel announcement that they want to shrink silicon....

    Meanwhile, in other news, new film coming out titled "I Know Who Motor-Boated You Last Summer".

  41. i steal your leccy

    No Glass Ceiling At The Reg

    "As you can see my prototype has been a complete success! It's like what i've been saying all these years... If you want something done right, call a woman!"

  42. i steal your leccy

    Glass Ceiling At The Reg

    "Oh right! <giggle> i always thought the Brown Wire was Earth, cos its brown, like dirt innit?" ...shit, where'd i put me nail polish?

  43. theleader

    Weapons of mass destraction

    "I wonder what would happen if hackers get their hands on these puppies?"

  44. i steal your leccy


    "Yeah, its been tested to destruction...not in a laboratory...we gave it to Jo Brand to wear for a week, and as you can see it survived the ordeal intact!"

  45. i steal your leccy

    Wouldn't Put It Past Them.

    Behind the scenes look at DARPA's new BCDS (Breast Cancer Delivery System)

  46. Rol Silver badge

    If, as it appears, Intel is no longer chasing the low hanging fruit, can we expect things to be a little perkier in the future.

  47. Neoc

    The new bra design created a storm(trooper) in a c-cup.

  48. D 17

    Smart Bra? ...looks Pants!

  49. rpark

    Intel Inside

    ♫ Intel Inside Outside- Livin' la Vida Loca ♫

  50. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Aaaaand still with "SexyCyborg"'s bid over the Internet. Going once ...


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