back to article London's Metropolitan Police arrest Julian Assange

Julian Assange has been arrested by London cops at the Ecuadorian Embassy after the nation revoked the asylum it had given him for nearly seven years. BREAKING: #Assange removed from embassy - video pic.twitter.com/qsHy7ZVPg5 — Ruptly (@Ruptly) April 11, 2019 The Metropolitan Police Service (MPS) issued a statement this …

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      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: In other news...

        As it has been established (T May in conservative conference speech a few years ago) that UK courts refuse to repatriate illegal immigrants who have a pet cat then not keeping his cat may have been a schoolboy error on the part of Mr Assange

    1. Wellyboot Silver badge

      Re: In other news...

      Technically it's an Ecuadorian cat, easier to keep it than get the pet passport & all the other paperwork needed to import it into the UK from the embassy.

      The cat itself won't care who provides the food, warmth & attention it's due.

      1. BebopWeBop Silver badge

        Re: In other news...

        It is claiming asylum in the UK having been kept against its will by Assange

      2. James O'Shea Silver badge

        Re: In other news...

        "Technically it's an Ecuadorian cat"

        Does it ignore English-speaking humans more than it ignores Spanish-speaking humans, or vice versa? Or are all humans ignored equally?

        1. Kubla Cant Silver badge

          Re: In other news...

          Does it ignore English-speaking humans more than it ignores Spanish-speaking humans, or vice versa? Or are all humans ignored equally?

          He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him.

          1. Primus Secundus Tertius Silver badge

            Re: In other news...

            Most cats understand English better than many foreigners.

      3. Tigra 07 Silver badge
        Childcatcher

        Re: In other news...

        Apparently cats forget the face of their owners in as little as 3 days anyway. Julian who?

        1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

          Re: In other news...

          Cats have owners?

          1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

            Re: In other news...

            No, dogs have owners...cats have staff

            1. Kiwi Silver badge

              Re: In other news...

              No, dogs have owners...cats have staff

              Staff? Staff?

              The man's crazy! Next thing ya know he'll be claiming he's royalty!

              Cat's have slaves!

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: In other news...

            Not around here!

            The little bastards dug up my seed bed, crapped in a second place and then seemed to try to cover it up in a third place. They are out of control of their owners and I should be allowed to protect my property from them and kill the bastards.

            <<steam from ears!>>

            1. Trilkhai

              Re: In other news...

              Killing cats over a stupid seed bed? Man, get therapy and a vasectomy so no innocent children are exposed to your budding-sociopath attitude.

            2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

              Re: In other news...

              They are out of control of their owners and I should be allowed to protect my property from them and kill the bastards

              Two problems:

              1. Under English Law, cats are not counted as domesticated creatures (unlike dogs who are counted as domesticated animals under the control of their owners) and thus the owners cannot be held liable for their actions (again, unlike dogs). You can, however, be prosecuted for harming a cat since they can be counted as property - so you are suggesting destroying someone else's property..

              2. You need some lessons in balance and empathy. Do you really think that harming a living creature of any kind is an acceptable response to losing some seeds? There are ways of keeping cats out of your precious seedbeds but they actually involve you doing something and actually having a think about it.

              1. CRConrad

                OTOH...

                ...seeds, if fertilized (as they would probably be, if planted into a seed bed) are living creatures too. Ask any American fundie.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: In other news...

          'Apparently cats forget the face of their owners in as little as 3 days anyway.'

          Owners?

          As for the forgetting the face of their owners in three days...I used to spend months away from home at at time, I'd then show up early on a Saturday morning and would be swamped by the attentions of my then tribe of furry little overlords as soon as I entered the house...sure, they had other simian slaves looking after them when I wasn't there, but they used to go all apeshittykitty when I showed up and swarm all over me demanding serious amounts of fussings and attention, so, I don't buy that one as a general rule.

          'Julian who?'

          Quite....once the news wonks move on from the story and he's then surreptitiously spirited away and sequestered in a nice Federal Oubliette somewhere (?) that's a question we'll probably hear from lots of people in the years to come...

          Never enter an arsekicking contest with a porcupine, if you are idiot enough to consider doing something so foolish, then best make bloody sure beforehand that you're suitably armoured up, and that it's fit for task...and that the porcupine doesn't have both deep pockets and a bloody large belligerent military at their beck and call (how to win friends and influence people, eh?) and has been playing this arsekicking game for more years than you have, and is a lot better at it than you are..

          1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Re: In other news...

            Never enter an arsekicking contest with a porcupine

            Or a mud-wrestling competition with a pig. You'll both get dirty and only[1] the pig will enjoy[2] it.

            [1] OK - maybe not. But that's a whole other bag of fetishes[3]

            [2] And also, most pigs come with big tetth and, despite not being carnivores, will eat just about anything and are not worried about biting whatever is annoying them.

            [3] And not of the shamanistic kind.

            1. SundogUK

              Re: In other news...

              Pigs are omnivores so, yes, they will eat anything.

        3. TRT Silver badge

          Re: cats forget the face of their owners

          But they recognise the smell forever...

          1. Tigra 07 Silver badge
            Devil

            Re: cats forget the face of their owners

            "But they recognise the smell forever..."

            I once lived near someone with about 10 cats. You could always smell her a mile off for sure!

            1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

              Re: cats forget the face of their owners

              You could always smell her a mile off for sure!

              I live with seven (and a dog). You don't smell cats on me because we actually look after ours (they all have easy access to the outside world and the cat trays we maintain for the two that don't like going outside get cleaned every day).

              So your cat-person either doesn't care (ie - has no sense of smell) or doesn't look after the cats well.

              1. Tigra 07 Silver badge

                Re: CrazyOldCatMan

                She was evicted years back and left most of the cats. That's what kind of person she was. The back garden looked like a bomb site.

        4. Jamie Jones Silver badge

          Re: In other news...

          No chance! Mine recognised me after being away for 3 months!

        5. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: In other news...

          Whenever a cat looks at you it's basically thinking "if I could master using a tin-opener for myself, then I would kill you where you stand"

          1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Re: In other news...

            if I could master using a tin-opener for myself

            s/tin\-opener/'rip the top off the pouches'/* g

            I wish the little dears would eat tinned food..

        6. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: In other news...

          Apparently cats forget the face of their owners

          Given that cats seem to key more into the sound and scent[1] of their servants rather than their faces, this doesn't really surprise me. Lets not forget that cats are both scent *and* sight hunters - scent (and hearing) is used to get a coarse location and then sight is used for the final pounce.

          [1] Our little ex-feral tortie will look at me like I'm a raging axe-murderer when I get home from work until I either speak to her or let her smell my hand. Then she relaxes and I get put back into the "provides food and warmth and occasional attention" category and she allows me to fuss her. Her brother does likewise.

        7. Kiwi Silver badge

          Re: In other news...

          Apparently cats forget the face of their owners in as little as 3 days anyway. Julian who?

          It may be true that they forget the face... But I was away from one of mine for just on 3 years and she knew me when I got back. Had another leave home when I was about 6 or 7, it came back just after my 10th birthday and acter as if nothing had happened. These days I am often away on business for 4 or 5 days, yet the cats know me (including the neighbour's poor fearful abused little thing, just starting to become friendly to me despite her demanding it always runs from anyone not herself).

          So they may forget the face, but they remember enough that it doesn't matter. [Grabs a fistful of fur from a friend's moggy who is also exceptionally scared of strangers, yet knows me well enough despite not having seen me for a couple of weeks]

      4. Jove Bronze badge

        Re: In other news...

        ... rumour has it that the cat is a field-trained CIA Agent and also the source for WikiLeaks believing that Asausage was being spied on.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: In other news...

      Lets face it Michi is the true mastermind behind wikileaks. Assange has only ever been a sexually frustrated deviant puppet.

      1. Jemma Silver badge

        Re: In other news...

        Alias Mr. D. Trump Esq?

  1. alain williams Silver badge

    Does he yet have a ticket to the USA ?

    This is what he was afraid of: the USA, somehow or another, finding a way of getting him over the pond. Once there he would likely spend a very long time in chokey, on some pretext of another. The real reason is that he embarrassed the USA by exposing things and some there want revenge.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Does he yet have a ticket to the USA ?

      "This is what he was afraid of: the USA, somehow or another, finding a way of getting him over the pond."

      In that case he shouldn't have done a runner when he was (a) out of reach of the US in Sweden and (b) when the US had a government with enough wit to realise that treating him as not worth attention was the biggest punishment they could impose.

      1. Ian Michael Gumby Silver badge
        Boffin

        @Doctor Syntax ... Re: Does he yet have a ticket to the USA ?

        Huh?

        First you need probable cause to convene a grand jury to indict him.

        Then you need to get an extradition order to whatever country is after him. It takes time.

        But lets focus on reality.

        Assange is a smelly git who forced him on a couple of Swedish girls who in their country can cry rape because no means no. When they say no sex without a condom, and you don't have a condom, its rape.

        When you try to wake your partner by performing intercourse... its rape because she wasn't awake to provide consent.

        That's why he fled Sweden. And this all came out during his first extradition hearing. Had he done these acts in the UK, maybe one act would have been illegal in the UK, which is irrelevant because of the EAW treaty.

        The whole US is after me thing... done to protect his image and because he is paranoid.

        That said, the US could have been after him if they have evidence he was involved in the actual theft made by Manning. That would remove the shield he has for publishing the leaks.

        In terms of being out of the US hands... in Sweden he was safe. In the UK he would have been safe. Its not until he broke the laws in those countries that he would force him back to Australia where they would have handed him over easily.

        He did the runner because he didn't want to go to jail for rape.

        The US was 'ignoring' him and still is for the most part. There is a rumor of a sealed Grand Jury indictment, but no official extradition request.

    2. Jellied Eel Silver badge

      Re: Does he yet have a ticket to the USA ?

      This is what he was afraid of: the USA, somehow or another, finding a way of getting him over the pond.

      I'm willing to donate some large rubber bands. I don't think the UK's made those illegal (yet).

      1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

        Re: Does he yet have a ticket to the USA ?

        Are any of the more mathematically minded commentards able to calculate the required velocity and trajectory required to launch Mr Assange across the pond? Survivability is optional.

        Please show your workings.

        1. Primus Secundus Tertius Silver badge

          Re: Does he yet have a ticket to the USA ?

          @Aladdin

          With luck he would burn up on re-entry.

          1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

            Re: Does he yet have a ticket to the USA ?

            Considering the, let's call it "muzzle velocity" required, he'd probably burn up way before he reached the top of the atmosphere, assuming we're doing a sub-orbital lob.

        2. the Jim bloke Silver badge

          Re: Does he yet have a ticket to the USA ?

          more of an empirical type, would like to try a couple of test shots using different launch configurations.

          The payload (JA) would probably require lots of duct tape and a locator beacon for retrieval after tests.

    3. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Meh

      Re: Does he yet have a ticket to the USA ?

      "The real reason is that he embarrassed the USA by exposing things and some there want revenge."

      with the current DOJ and President Trump _not_ wanting 'revenge', Assange is more likely to become a material witness for other investigations...

      (it would be different if Mrs. Clinton had actually been elected)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Does he yet have a ticket to the USA ?

        Bob, do you love Trump because you hate Clinton, or hate Clinton because you love Trump?

        1. Jamie Jones Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: Does he yet have a ticket to the USA ?

          Oh Bob! The Quandary! https://amp.thisisinsider.com/images/5caf09f35ba09c1c01030622-640-638.jpg

    4. CRConrad

      Re: Does he yet have a ticket to the USA ?

      I asked that in early 2018 too. Because in 2017 he tweeted that he'd go there if Manning was granted clemency.

      Clemency, which means pardon or commutation, was then granted by President Obama in the form of commutation of Manning's sentence.

      So if Julian Asshat hadn't been a fucktard liable to go back on his word, he should have bought himself a fucking ticket and hopped on the next plane to DC.

  2. R J
    Angel

    This is just what Assange needed

    After all, he'll finally get some attention again. Poor guy, he's been irrelevant for so many years now

  3. Mike Lewis

    Not much sympathy

    I lost sympathy for Assange when he went after Clinton which helped Trump get elected. Plus the whole cat thing.

    1. Version 1.0 Silver badge

      Re: Not much sympathy

      I think it would be really interesting to hear Assange's side of the story, I suspect that he was just as manipulated by the Russians as the Trump campaign was - I don't think that either of them were deliberate criminals, they just stupidly seeking publicity, fame, wealth, and money under the table ... that's the way the West works and that's how we are manipulated.

      1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

        Re: Not much sympathy

        I suspect the downvote was for saying you'd like to hear Assange's side of the story. Otherwise I entirely agree - on balance, it's much more likely that Assange (and Trump) are simply stupid and greedy than they are Russian agents.

        1. CRConrad

          Those aren't necessarily opposites.

          Some people voluntarily become agents based on greed; others let themselves be used as such because they're stupid enough to do so. In practice, they are agents too, albeit perhaps unwitting ones. The phenomenon didn't begin with Putin; the name "useful idiot" goes back to at least Lenin or Trotsky or some such. The phenomenon itself... I'm betting Julius Caesar was familiar with the idea. And probably Hammurabi too.

      2. Mage Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: hear Assange's side of the story

        We have, endlessly.

      3. LDS Silver badge
        Devil

        "I suspect that he was just as manipulated by the Russians"

        Him duped by the Russian? Without even sending a young female agent? I can't really believe it, sorry.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not much sympathy

      Meh. I have zero sympathy for Clinton.

      If you read this email:-

      https://wikileaks.org/podesta-emails//fileid/1120/251

      Then you will note that the Clinton team knew that Clinton was deeply unpopular with the public, and thought that the only possibility of her winning was to put her up against republican "pied piper candidates" who were even less desirable than she was.

      One of the Clinton campaigns choices for these "pied piper" candidates is a certain "Donald Trump", under which is a note that the press should be told to promote these people at the expense of the more moderate opposition, that would otherwise have won.

      In my mind, this raises two really big issues.

      1) How independent is the American independent media, if they are acting on instructions? The media being influenced and weaponised on instructions to this extent deserves an investigation on the scale of the Russian allegations.

      2) The American election was rigged, by Clinton. And she then proceeded to lose the election, despite rigging it. Clinton is literally responsible for putting Trump into the Whitehouse. He was her choice of opposition.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Not much sympathy

        "1) How independent is the American independent media, if they are acting on instructions? The media being influenced and weaponised on instructions to this extent deserves an investigation on the scale of the Russian allegations."

        If they don't do as they are told, they stop getting invited to the press scrums at the Whitehouse.

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