back to article Want to know what an organisation is really like? Visit the restroom

I like to hang out in company toilets. That's not to say I linger long after the shake-off – I'm no washroom loiterer – but I do enjoy the visit. It's because I am curious. As an itinerant freelancer, my work takes me to a variety of tech-savvy business premises. And while small companies each have their own style of office …

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  1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Alert

    Facebook - London office

    Despite their ethics being not very far off the gutter, the "gents" were fairly well stocked with premium toiletries, including IIRC, toothbrushes! Also, just as you enter through the main door, there were angled shelves with a graphic indicating that they were to be used to place your laptop, and not to take it into the cubicle.

  2. LeahroyNake Bronze badge

    kleenex

    Always keep some in my pocket, using last week's paper is ok at a push but you have scrunch it up a few times so it goes soft. Not mentioning any particular customer.

  3. Shooter

    The seats are warm.

    As someone far wiser than I once noted, there are few things as simultaneously comfortable and uncomfortable as a warm public toilet seat.

  4. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    Posh Place Advisory

    When using the sink in such places you should always look at BOTH taps as "C" doesn't always mean what you think it should mean. Au contraire - which should give some clue as to pourquoi.

  5. Chairman of the Bored Silver badge

    WTF did they eat??

    Mid-September, 2011. Washington, D.C. At the General Services Administration building, toilets *exploded*, injuring two employees.

    You cant (ahem) make this $#!t up.

  6. dbtx Bronze badge

    temptation

    there are full color prints everywhere including the restrooms. They read...

    "ATTITUDE

    The only difference between a good day and a bad day"

    I say, that's some nice bull unicorn shit. That is so ******* made-up, I don't want to inadvertently dignify it by implying it came out the back of a real animal. It's basically an invitation / reminder to lie to myself about what facts or events might be unpleasant, and/or how how much they really matter-- as if that solves anything. Well, gee, how could things go wrong... what if I decide to just cold-turkey-quit wiping my ass? I would very probably be having 'bad days' until further notice, regardless of my 'attitude'. sigh. single contradicting case, etc etc. It would be Slightly Less Horrible™ if they even said 'the most important thing' but they said 'only', which is way too strong a word to be true.

    I am still a bit tempted to put this up in there, just to maybe stand up for something meaningful and uncover my attitude.

  7. Grikath Silver badge
    Pint

    Understanding Computer Technology

    of obvious fame..

  8. Colonel Mad

    Parking

    One of my special indicators was a parking space reserved for Employee of the Month outside the front door

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Employee Opinion Survey

    Spotted on the inside of the cubicle doors - posters urging employees to complete an opinion survey.

    ...at a UK Utility company

  10. Oscar Pops

    Don't forget...

    ... the obligatory urine colour chart. The one in my workplace fell off the urinal-wall sometime ago and has since been left lying next to the basins, how's that for inviting poor behaviours?

    1. dbtx Bronze badge

      We recently got the urine colour chart-- in the break room. 3m away from the fridge. It's on a corkboard next to some other sad examples of human surrealism, such as a full colour assertion that radiation is heat transfer while conduction and convection are types of radiation, and also another copy of the aforementioned full-colour nonsense about attitude.

      The urine colour chart is printed in greyscale.

      1. dbtx Bronze badge

        "also another copy"

        oops, I might have imagined that. anyway it isn't there now

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A quick shake

    Ah, Dabbsy, how old are you? I'm sure you'll soon be approaching that annoying time in a chap's life where a quick shake is insufficient to get the last few dribbles out.

    1. Roj Blake Silver badge

      Re: A quick shake

      One thing that I've discovered as I've grown older is that pale trousers are the bane of the middle-aged man

  12. herman Silver badge

    I have come to the conclusion that many seemingly respectable people really do live in the boondocks, shit outside in a bog and wipe up with a corn cob - the traditional way.

  13. VikiAi Silver badge
    Happy

    I recall a tale of a high school principal who was having an issue with senior girls pressing their lipsticked lips to the mirror in the annex to the bathroom. Rather than ban lipstick, he got all the senior girls into the annex to show them how hard it was for the janitor to clean the mirror. The janitor went back to the bathroom area, wet his mop in the nearest toilet bowl and proceeded to clean the mirror. No more lipstick smears on the mirror after that.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dismal

    You can say this about IBM: their bathrooms are universally dismal and broken. And yes, they usually have the "don't throw towels in the toilet" signs too. But no longer any bathroom verse besmirching John Akers...

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fantom pooper

    Well I have worked in two seperate places that you wouldn't want to work in.

    First was in Manchester (an IT company) and they had a phantom pooper - that left lovely smelly turd nuggets on the bog room floor. Says everything about how they treat their employees.

    Second was a company that hired Carrilion as the cleaning staff - bogs smelled of piss and there was often bogs either overflowing with unflussed shit, or even the odd battle damage left behind by someone with a serious bowl issue or a case of explosive diarrhea - easy to see why Carillion went bankrupt after being in some of those disgraces.

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