Star Trek Beyond: An unwatchable steaming pile of tribble dung

This is a terrible review of a perfectly reasonable film. I'm going to guess that the writer is a born-again TNG fan. I shall be paying attention to what he writes for The Register in future, because that's highly likely to be total bullshit as well, if this is anything to go by. There isn't a single hint of anything that relates to the film I watched yesterday that makes any sense. Get him to actually think about stuff before he writes, rather than just vomiting on his touch screen and leaving it to the subs.

I have to slightly disagree with the post here. Although I can agree that this film will not be winning any awards it is a passable entry to the franchise. It eludes to shathers troubled thoughts in generations of his life in space and as for the explanation at the end this makes sense if you have seen any of the later series of enterprise. So its a good atempt to write it off without the proper perspectives is just wrong.

The clear dichotmy is required

Western governments need their citizens to think only in terms of Good Vs Evil, otherwise after being fed the "Us against Terrorism" rhetoric they may start thinking about what caused the terrorists to be so pissed of with us and realize that the evil is not completely one-sided.

Really

Or you could just go along and enjoy the film - yes it has a few flaws - but there isn't a trek episode or film - or indeed any film without them. Plot holes tend to be plot devices - if he could have just used the transporter then that scene would be significantly shorter wouldn't it?

The final mano-a-mano fight was unnecessary (but very Kirkish) and not great - but its easily forgiven - I laughed out loud at sections and felt the need to listen to Sabotage again afterwords... it was good unadulterated star trek.

I got what I payed for and would happily watch it again.

Yes we could have more deep and meaningful commentary on society - but I go to the movies to leave that crap behind for a couple of hours...

I loved the film

I loved the film, i enjoyed it. I rate it 4th behind ST2 ST6 & ST11

What about the stinker last movie. In the first five minutes Kirk jumps off a cliff and Spock is lowered into an active volcano. That's as far as I watched.

Sadly 2001 A Space Odyssey would never be made today.

The sad part...

... Is that they stomped all over some really cool fan-made works so they wouldn't "compete" with this dreck... I mean seriously, when a big studio with a multi-million dollar budget can't compete with a bunch of hobbyists and drama students, it's time to throw in the towel...

The horrible thing is...

...there are people out there who think these three crapfest films are actually Star Trek.

Personally, my three favorite films out of the franchise are Wrath of Khan, The Voyage Home and First Contact but generally I think Star Trek has been at its best as episodic television. Sure, there were weak, even cringe-worthy episodes in all the series - but there were also amazing gems and a lot of solidly entertaining episodes. The tension of "Balance of Terror"; the intensity of "Chain of Command", "In The Pale Moonlight" or "The Year of Hell"; the social commentary of "A Private Little War", "Past Tense", "Death Wish" or "Similitude"; the sheer artistry of "The City on the Edge of Forever" or "The Inner Light". And I can't pass up the chance to mention what I think is the masterpiece of the Animated series: "Yesteryear," our look at what Spock's childhood was like - and a brilliant, sensitive handling of the issue of a child losing a beloved pet, inside the science fiction. (And yes, this is where we found out the name of Spock's home town: ShiKahr. Gene Roddenberry may have wavered on the "canon-icity" of TAS, but clearly the writers who wove its details into other episodes knew a good thing when they saw it.)

I sincerely doubt we'd ever see ANY of that richness in the so-called "Kelvin continuity" because it's all rooted in the values of Star Trek that those currently in charge of the franchise apparently don't understand.

The worst star trek yet

Star Trek Beyond,my verdict.well first the positive,the movie starts good,in a well thought way with the characters in central place kirk,bones beautiful scenery etc etc...that was okay,second plus were the good use of humor especially the Bones/Spock dynamic witch still works great and as a third plus there is the scene where these bee like weapons attack the enterprise,good action spectacle in a sci fi world but then...................................................................this movie turns into the dumbest,most illogical,childish peace of crap to ever come out of the star trek movie book!!!!this thing was exactly what that so very often criticised trailer represented,a space movie with a bad kick ass bitch an ugly villan and the beasty boys music in space!!!oh did i mention kirk riding a motorcycle?Allright i can take an exaduration here and there,i can take a female sidekick to draw the puberty audience but these tottaly uninteresting characters were appaling.The villan Krall what was that?it looked like a cheap deep space 9 mask villan,i mean come on after people like Khan,or the incredible General Chang or the Borg Queen played by great actors really making a difference we get a good Actor in this rediculus cheap ugly villan B movie mask played by Idris Elba....what a waise of talent!then there is this star wars runaway character with the awfull paintings on her face jaylah what is her role?other than to be this kick ass female character she is so boring outside of 14year old kids who mabe like her i dont get what that has to do in a major big budget Star Trek movie,but maby is that just it,Major Star Trek movies just get dumber and dumber?when i first heard that Justin Lin was to direct the next Star Trek my stomach just turned over,are you really serious???????????Fast and furious does Star Trek,you know what i wanted to do watching this crap movie?i just wanted to cry because they just destroyed the one sacred thing in sci fi world to me,this epic idea from 1966 by Gene Roddenbery with this human hope for the future,relationships,morals special entitys meetings etc etc and they just killed that off with BEYOND!and if it could not get any worse the best is yet to come nearing the end of this movie it seemed that a beasty boys song would be the ultimate weapon against this highly advanced alien race........pardon me......are you really serious.....i mean what do they think we are?a bunch of idiots???This is by far and i mean that it is even worse than insurrection by far the worst thing i have ever seen in the Star Trek movie line up,it even is the worst movie i saw this year!!!!!!from the wrath of khan i saw every Star Trek in the theaters and allways more than once,just because i am such a fan,even into darkness with its serious story wholes i saw a few times as it had a certain charme and quality to it,but this tragedy i hope i will never have to see again in my life!!!sad so very sad,there are so many things i could keep on saying about it why it is so bad i could write a book about it!the death of Star Trek is called Beyond.

You know, it makes me laugh the number of people saying they aren't going to see it because it's so bad. I've been watching Star Trek for 30-odd years, and I thought it was OK. Not perfect, but not bad, and in fact better than some past attempts such as Generations. Everybody is entitled to an opinion, but at least watch the thing before you pass judgment on it. If you haven't actually seen it, you aren't really in a position to comment on it.

Comfortable theater (theatre)

I only stayed because of the 105 degree heat (40C) outside and I had a big bag of popcorn to finish. Thanks for the accurate review.

Nonsense

I liked it.